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  1. #1
    Member bher's Avatar
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    how to manage the bad temper of your partner???

    how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?... better to tell whats wrong or just be quiet?...


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    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    you definitely need to tell him/her what's wrong..every relationship, especially LDRs, depends on having good communication too aside from being in love..issues will immediately resolved if u talked about it right away.


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    Quote Originally Posted by bher View Post
    how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?... better to tell whats wrong or just be quiet?...
    Loads of patience and think the outcome if you both burst with temper and anger
    being quite wont help but sometimes it good as to let the temp slow down


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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    you definitely need to tell him/her what's wrong..every relationship, especially LDRs, depends on having good communication too aside from being in love..issues will immediately resolved if u talked about it right away.
    thats one thing that i don't like bout my husband' he admit that he have bad temper and not much patience with little things... we r opposite! sometimes we talk bout certain issues between us then there are arguements which is normal ofcourse' then i will jst keep quiet, then aftr few mins everything will be ok again' its like nothing happend..


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    Quote Originally Posted by kalabasa View Post
    Loads of patience and think the outcome if you both burst with temper and anger
    being quite wont help but sometimes it good as to let the temp slow down
    with the 3 yrs relationship we have i know i am the one who have lots of petience.. even if im younger than him.. i agree with you' sometimes it doesn't help but sometimes it is.. but most of the time when there is something wrong' he raise his voice and got mad without much reason i prefer to be quiet and not talk totally esp when his here... less talk, less arguements...


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    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    but if u wont tell him u have issues regarding him always raising his voice, he would think this is okay and u accept this kind of behavior, which in fact, u don't..yes, less talk less argument..but don't u think your feelings about this wouldn't bottle up in the process? I mean would u not be bothered by him raising his voice if he'll have another bad temper later?


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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    but if u wont tell him u have issues regarding him always raising his voice, he would think this is okay and u accept this kind of behavior, which in fact, u don't..yes, less talk less argument..but don't u think your feelings about this wouldn't bottle up in the process? I mean would u not be bothered by him raising his voice if he'll have another bad temper later?
    when im quiet he knows theres something wrong.. but sometimes he is not bothered to make a move, jst want me to do the first.. and when he raise his voice i tell him don't do that bcoz it scares me, and he listen.. it jst sometimes he forget and i accept that! we cnt blame ourselves sometimes esp when we r upset or annoyed it shows in our voice and actions.. hes still my husband we have differences and we have to accept that even if its good or bad... thank's rayna...


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    It helps if both partners are dumb
    Keith Driscoll - Administrator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    It helps if both partners are dumb
    hahahaha,u enlighten me boss lol...


  10. #10
    Trusted Member sars_notd_virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bher View Post
    how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?...
    Man always wants to be right!!!!

    so just tease him and say his abs looks even more sexier when he is on bad temper
    ''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''


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    Quote Originally Posted by bher View Post
    with the 3 yrs relationship we have i know i am the one who have lots of petience.. even if im younger than him.. i agree with you' sometimes it doesn't help but sometimes it is.. but most of the time when there is something wrong' he raise his voice and got mad without much reason i prefer to be quiet and not talk totally esp when his here... less talk, less arguements...
    no matter what age gap we have with our partner the temper.bad feelings anger does arise but be strong rem we only lives ones so do not take it seriously just rem everyone is going through this stages of being married.


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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    but if u wont tell him u have issues regarding him always raising his voice, he would think this is okay and u accept this kind of behavior, which in fact, u don't..yes, less talk less argument..but don't u think your feelings about this wouldn't bottle up in the process? I mean would u not be bothered by him raising his voice if he'll have another bad temper later?
    everybody i think has got that but depends on the couple how she/he gonna cope with that but does not mean you are taking all his temper and just be quite


  13. #13
    Respected Member rani's Avatar
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    just ignore, leave him and go to a quiet place... talk to him at bedtime and tell him how you really feel about it.. but never do the "head on" coz it wont do any good... maybe when he's more older then he will slow down.. hahaha then its vengeance time


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    Quote Originally Posted by sars_notd_virus View Post
    Man always wants to be right!!!!

    so just tease him and say his abs looks even more sexier when he is on bad temper
    well said sars and the more you tease the more the merrier


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    Quote Originally Posted by rani View Post
    just ignore, leave him and go to a quiet place... talk to him at bedtime and tell him how you really feel about it.. but never do the "head on" coz it wont do any good... maybe when he's more older then he will slow down.. hahaha then its vengeance time
    dont ignore it count every minutes and everyhour his bad temper arises and at the end of the day give him a nice warm cup of tea to remind his a very loving husband in anyway he acts


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    I used to have a partner with a short temper, and it just brought out the worst in me. If somebody raises their voice to me I can get quite which isn't really in my nature I read somewhere that bad tempers stem from past troubles and there's not a lot you can do to change that in somebody... so i eventually left her


  17. #17
    Respected Member somebody's Avatar
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    Hi Bher you will find a lot of Western people are far far less mature with their social skills compared to many Phills. Your Mahal has to confront the reasons why he has this bad mood. If you are to be together in the UK and your alone in the UK you need a husband who can be patient with you during what maybe hard times on occasions.

    A lot of the stress maybe due to being apart which is very hard, but if its an ongoing thing then he should really look into the roots causes and how he can learn to try and handle his temper.
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by somebody View Post
    Hi Bher you will find a lot of Western people are far far less mature with their social skills compared to many Phills.
    What a stupid comment!!!! It's nothing to do with making a ridiculous stereotype of westeners maturity.

    I'd suggest it could be one of two things; firstly it could be a cultural thing, Western people tend to be more vocal about how they feel about something, we don't have the same 'loss of face' that you may be accustomed to. If it's this situation, it really is just a slight raising of the voice and expressing a bit of annoyance at something. For westerners we find this very easy, because if someone is vocal at least we understand that there is a problem, and then on the same note it is unacceptable to sulk and keep a grudge. It's a case of saying what you want to say, and that being the end of it. When this is the situation, it does take a little bit of adjustment with both parties. Westerners living in the Philippines, tend to resign themselves to accepting when something is wrong, because it can be difficult in the culture here to express your annoyance and dissapointment without offending (thats a cultural adjustment).
    So, what i'm saying if this is the case, talk about it and try to understand it from both peoples side.

    Now if its something more aggressive, where the person actually has an anger management problem, and it concerns your safety and wellbeing or you feel it's an unacceptable environment for your children then i'd highly recommend professional advice.
    There is support for you in this situation; http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anger-m...roduction.aspx . Seriously, if your situation is this one, and not the first that I said, then deal with it straight away, because it will only progress and get worse.


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickyR View Post
    What a stupid comment!!!! It's nothing to do with making a ridiculous stereotype of westeners maturity.
    He did say 'a lot' which would mean thses days folk under the age of 25 whose only real world talking skills are via the web. If you spend sometime with this age group you'd soon realise they can't grasp certain parts of conversations, plus they have a shorted attention span than those above 25. Seen it all with my own eyes over the years, and research backs it up.
    Keith Driscoll - Administrator
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by sars_notd_virus View Post
    Man always wants to be right!!!!

    so just tease him and say his abs looks even more sexier when he is on bad temper
    sars, same as women.. we want everthing to be right.. he has a little tummy, so he doesn't have abs lol...


  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by kalabasa View Post
    no matter what age gap we have with our partner the temper.bad feelings anger does arise but be strong rem we only lives ones so do not take it seriously just rem everyone is going through this stages of being married.
    i guess wat ever age both in a relationship there are really differences esp us its the culture... me even if its jst a light arguement i take it seriously and then i get emotional... bernadette are u also very emotional person?..


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    Quote Originally Posted by kalabasa View Post
    everybody i think has got that but depends on the couple how she/he gonna cope with that but does not mean you are taking all his temper and just be quite
    im not taking all his temper.. sometimes wen its non sense im jst ignoring him and likes nothing is happening.. lol


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by rani View Post
    just ignore, leave him and go to a quiet place... talk to him at bedtime and tell him how you really feel about it.. but never do the "head on" coz it wont do any good... maybe when he's more older then he will slow down.. hahaha then its vengeance time
    te rani yeah sometimes i jst ignore and i will be quiet but i wont leave... that wont help for us.. i jst wanna share this' sometimes wen we r having arguements wen we go to bed we don't really talk much.. and i don't say good night and wont kiss him.. im also doing that everytime im upset and mad.. then nxt day we r stil not talking but i make sure i'll make him a tea and food.. then one of us will start the conversation, say wat was the problem and fix it..


  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by kalabasa View Post
    well said sars and the more you tease the more the merrier
    sars & dette- wen husband/wife is mad can they stil make while there is a problem?... jst asking!!!


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    Quote Originally Posted by bher View Post
    sars & dette- wen husband/wife is mad can they stil make while there is a problem?... jst asking!!!
    Isn't that called "making up"


  26. #26
    Respected Member rani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bher View Post
    te rani yeah sometimes i jst ignore and i will be quiet but i wont leave... that wont help for us.. i jst wanna share this' sometimes wen we r having arguements wen we go to bed we don't really talk much.. and i don't say good night and wont kiss him.. im also doing that everytime im upset and mad.. then nxt day we r stil not talking but i make sure i'll make him a tea and food.. then one of us will start the conversation, say wat was the problem and fix it..

    its hard for me to sleep without solving the issue with my partner... i am a crying lady and i always cry whenever i feel bad

    anyways, hope that everything will go on smoothly between the two of you...


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    Quote Originally Posted by triple5 View Post
    I used to have a partner with a short temper, and it just brought out the worst in me. If somebody raises their voice to me I can get quite which isn't really in my nature I read somewhere that bad tempers stem from past troubles and there's not a lot you can do to change that in somebody... so i eventually left her
    triple5, me since i meet my husband until now i was amazed that my patience improved.. i am not like this b4, i don't have patience with everything esp with other people but now i married my husband i started to realized that being patience is also one key to have a happy and long lasting married life... now i know and i can say that my husband is very lucky to have ME...


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    You've got more patience than me I wasn't married to the lady with the bad temper. We lived together, and I never knew which person I was going to wake up next to in the morning - the one who would flip out at the slightest little thing, or the sweet one who was fun to be around. She had a lot of problems - past and present - so the mood swings were understandable I guess. It was just treading on egg shells wasn't for me anymore.


  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickyR View Post
    What a stupid comment!!!! It's nothing to do with making a ridiculous stereotype of westeners maturity.

    I'd suggest it could be one of two things; firstly it could be a cultural thing, Western people tend to be more vocal about how they feel about something, we don't have the same 'loss of face' that you may be accustomed to. If it's this situation, it really is just a slight raising of the voice and expressing a bit of annoyance at something. For westerners we find this very easy, because if someone is vocal at least we understand that there is a problem, and then on the same note it is unacceptable to sulk and keep a grudge. It's a case of saying what you want to say, and that being the end of it. When this is the situation, it does take a little bit of adjustment with both parties. Westerners living in the Philippines, tend to resign themselves to accepting when something is wrong, because it can be difficult in the culture here to express your annoyance and dissapointment without offending (thats a cultural adjustment).
    So, what i'm saying if this is the case, talk about it and try to understand it from both peoples side.

    Now if its something more aggressive, where the person actually has an anger management problem, and it concerns your safety and wellbeing or you feel it's an unacceptable environment for your children then i'd highly recommend professional advice.
    There is support for you in this situation; http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anger-m...roduction.aspx . Seriously, if your situation is this one, and not the first that I said, then deal with it straight away, because it will only progress and get worse.

    yes ricky i agree with you.. husband also told me that westerners are more vocal and frank with other people.. they will say everything they want esp wen they are mad/upset.. most asian are not really used to it and i find it a bit difficult atfirst esp for me.. most of the arguements we r having are more on cultural difference and thats normal with us and with other couple who are different nationalities,a bit hard work and difficult to absorb in a while but ofcourse we need to know wat point of views the couple have regarding that differences... thank's ricky...


  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by triple5 View Post
    Isn't that called "making up"
    i mean can they make L while there is a problem?...


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