In the interests of getting to see her ASAP I have already made the committment to the holiday - Don't get me wrong, I'll still feel hung, drawn and quartered if it all goes pear-shaped but I can console myself with my first ever solo holiday, a bit of an adventure and (assuming it goes okay) the personal confidence I need to know that I can go anywhere and really do it, with only funds stopping me!

Still, with all this, do you think my waiting until we meet before helping (assuming she's still in need by then) is a reasonable compromise between potentially putting her through difficult anxiety and being on the safe side for myself?