Family crisis...and I'm not there to help.

[grahamw48]

Indeed.

They all managed before they met us.

[ssbib]

Indeed.

They all managed before they met us.

I know but she shouldn't have to manage now I am in her life. I just want to be there and give her a big hug.

As said by Steve, there is absolutely nothing you can do, only be there to listen to your fiancée and comfort. If you have never been to a Filipino funeral before then don't think it is like here. Of course everyone is upset and emotional but everyone will be busy getting things ready for the Wake. Her Lola will be placed in her coffin and brought back to the house for 4 to 5 days before the funeral itself. Durning that time many people will attend every night at the wake when they will drink coffee, play tong-it and eat snacks provided by her family. It is not a real sad occasion, more a great rememberance of her life. All the family from everywhere will be there to visit and help.
On the day of the funeral, the coffin will be put in a hearse or horse and cart and taken slowly to the church and all the family and friends will walk behind, maybe you have seen this before when you were there. After the service she will be taken to the cemetery and entombed. In my experience, the walk and the church are the most emotional times as this is the last time anyone will see their loved one, all you can do is support them.

From here, you can't do much, don't send flowers as the family will already have them sorted.

But please give my condolences to your fiancée

I've vaguely heard of that. Her brother-in-law's aunt died last year and I think she went to pay her respects at that funeral but I didn't hear too much detail about it. This is the first major death in her family for a long time so I think it's going to be a new experience for her too. It sounds a lot different to the funerals here but I kind of like it, sounds good with it being a celebration. I didn't see any funerals when I was in the Philippines.

Like has been said. Just be there for her. I take it you communicate via Skype. So just make time for her.

When my wife went to a funeral here with me earlier this year. She was telling me how very different the process is leading up to the day of the funeral and the actual funeral.

You will find a lot of things different in her culture. Some get a bit of getting used too, but you will.

We mostly communicate via Viber but use Skype for video chats (when we can get it to work) but I'll make myself available. I'll keep myself logged in tonight so she can call me if she needs to.

Thanks for all the short everyone.