Pinoy Humour

[patti1227]

GF: Very well! Who is this certain “Baby” that sent you a text message?
BF: Oh! That’s my buddy. He’s a he only that his pet name is “Baby”.
GF: Really?! You know what? I think you should send him a reply at once because your buddy said you guys will not make it tonight because he suddenly have “his” monthly period!

Mommy: Liza, can you please dial your father’s mobile number and tell him to come home now.
Liza: Mommy! A woman answered!
Mommy: What?! Are you sure? I knew it! Rumors were all true then that your father is having an illicit affair. What did the lady tell you?
Liza: “You only have zero pesos in your account.” I put down the phone because she seems sensitive to underprivileged people.

Priest: Come with me. Let’s go to the corner.
Nun: Why?
Priest: You close the door.
Nun: No! I won’t!
Priest: Turn off the lights! Now!
Nun: Please have mercy Father!
Priest: What mercy are you saying?! Look at my rosary; it’s Glow in the dark. See that!

A boss confused about his Math asked his secretary: If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: Everything sir! Dress, bra, panty! Name it you got it!

[ca143]

Man: father pls forgive me, i commit a sin...........
Priest: start confess of ur sin son..........
Man: i have a gf...last week we had s_x in the forest.
Priest: ohhh it seems like a monkey.....
Man:last day we had s_x in sea water.....
Priest: ohhh it seems like a fish......
Man: yesterday at the back of the church.........
Priest: awwwwwwwwww,,,,,it just like ME.hehehe
sorry,,, boss i dont mean to hurt for those catholic member here. Just for fun

[nigel]

A priest and an Australian are playing golf. The Aussie tries for the ball and he says "sh*t I missed!" The priest says "tut, tut, using this foul language! May god have mercy on your soul!"

The Aussie tries for the ball again and he says "sh*t I missed!" The priest says "tut, tut, tut, good grief! If you swear like that once more, god will surely strike you down!!"

He tries for the ball again and says "sh*t I missed!" This bolt of lightning flashes from the sky and boom! The priest is totally blown away!..........

And then you hear god's voice from the heavens and he say's "sh*t I missed!!"