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16th June 2008 #31
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16th June 2008 #32
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16th June 2008 #33
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film caregiver
tell your family to go to the cinema and watch the film out now called caregiver.
it si about two philippinos who go abroad to work end up starting relationship and discover how hard it is to be abroad.
it might give them an insight into the fact that money does not fall from the sky.
most of my philippine friends here who have seen it say it is very good for showing it is not easy abroad.
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16th June 2008 #34
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16th June 2008 #35
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16th June 2008 #36
you can find a cam copy of it on some torrent sites
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16th June 2008 #37
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16th June 2008 #38
well i wonder how many pictures will show it, seeing most of it is in tag
it will stero type brits even more, rich whiteys, have you seen the house the old guy owns and the posh southern accent his kids have, sound as posh as the queen and charlie boy
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16th June 2008 #39
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17th June 2008 #40
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17th June 2008 #41
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We have opposite problem tish. I have never been asked about money by my family, BUT I have guilt feeling towards my brother who helped me in my college years. He's in Saudi for 25 years and he's got heart desease. I offered help to him many times but never accepted my offer. He said he can still work. That made my heart broken, that makes me feel cry He has already 7 door apartment, 2 houses, 1 vacant lot, eldest is Registered nurse already but his wife asking for more. I really feel worry for him, I do call him oftentimes begging to go home but to no avail. I told him to buy a jeepney and willing to send him some of my savings for his additional needs.
I do send money to my Mom and if I have no job, it is my husband who send to my Mom, that is his promise to my Mom before.
Anyway we must not give fish but must help them to catch fish if needed as we have our own priorities in life.
God Bless!
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17th June 2008 #42
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17th June 2008 #43
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17th June 2008 #44
Ungrateful so called family in Philippines!!
I must admit that this is one of our (wife & self) concerns about retiring in the Philippines. Its bad enough on a holiday when distant relatives come out of the woodwork wanting a handout PLUS the expectations of closer family. Talking to many expats, its a common concern / problem. Best advice would seem to be:
* give / lend only what you can afford to lose and do not expect any of it back ever!
* as Keith says fund self sufficiency;
* give to only close family members;
* give once and once only with the sole exception of genuine medical emergencies.
I might also add:
* do not startup a business in the Philippines either by yourself or in partnership;
* do not get involved in any land / property arrangements / deals with family;
* do not let family look after / use your Philippine house when you are back in the UK / abroad.
I've probably heard enough horror stories to write a book!
Hope this helps,
Nigel
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17th June 2008 #45
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17th June 2008 #46
Just give all relatives one of those multi-devices. You know the one, can colect water, be used as a shower, storage, even used as a toilet......and many more things.....they'll be made up......
....we call them buckets here......Keith Driscoll - Administrator
Managing Director, Win2Win Limited
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17th June 2008 #47
I know its hard to be a filipino sometimes our family thinks that we are the saviour from heaven
I agree with 22pilgrim said: * do not get involved in any land / property arrangements / deals with family. I had an experienced like that my husband agreed that we continue the mortage of my family. We pay the 1 year arrears and continue the monthly ammortization (payable in 10 years). We send money for the house to finish and i am paying the ammortization for about a year. Then they decided not to live there bec they realized its too far ( I mean its not accesible to the town ). Which is really annoying
Then when my mother get very ill, I wasn't able to continue paying it bec all the money goes to her medication and hospitalization ( unfortunately, she died last march 2008 ).
So my family decided to sell the property bec I can't afford to pay it anymore and me and my husband decided not to get a share on it all as they need it morethan us here. But the thing is the money we used for the house is a loan so....right now I am paying for the loan for another 3 years more
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17th June 2008 #48
I'd never take out a loan to give someone else money. If I ain't got it, they ain't gettin it!
Keith Driscoll - Administrator
Managing Director, Win2Win Limited
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17th June 2008 #49
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18th June 2008 #50
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18th June 2008 #51
I think being too giving at the start when you move abroad is not a wise thing as this then is expected to be the normal thing.
Your husband & children in the UK need to be first and then of course help the family in the Philippines. I mean Mother, father, brothers & sisters and only if you can afford it then the extended family.
I agree with what Keith said only send what you can and do not borrow like it showed recently with a filipino in the UK who went bankrupt because of always trying to help her family in the Philippines.
Pete has been around long enough to know how it works(not saying you are old mate ) and the truth is that its getting much harder in the UK and less money to spend or send is available.
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18th June 2008 #52
i know its very hard to be with filipino family but i think its ur wife has to deal with it...my husband always tell me if i want to send some money and i always say no..coz i already provide them something to make them occupied and business and i tell them to look after it ....the onlything that my family keep asking me is to call them everynow and then just to hear and talk my daugther not me bytheway.....and not to much to ask i think...gudluck to all married one whose still dealing with the family matters in the P.I.
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28th June 2008 #53
Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing.
My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie
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28th June 2008 #54
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28th June 2008 #55
You must be crazy, £300 a month plus the mortgage, it's no wonder they have a maid. I bet they find it hard to find enough things to spend all their (your) money on. If you carry on helping them this much, they're never going to try to help themselves.
Iain.
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28th June 2008 #56
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28th June 2008 #57
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29th June 2008 #58
Surely there is something wrong with sending them so much money they can afford a maid - making them think you are rich, i see more trouble ahead!!
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29th June 2008 #59
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29th June 2008 #60
This is not help at all in my books.....
You are allowing yourself to be totally exploited.
And thus denying yourself to your right to happiness.
I understand the moral obbligations towards the family in the moment of need, but it is very clear that you have taken the burden over your shoulders to keep them ad infinitum...
It is no wonder that they will not look for any work to help out, as everything is supplied to them on a silver platter.
Wake up and start thinking about your own life and future....
You are not a slave.
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