Love and Internet

[Kismet]

Recently I had a talk with my close friend Pia. She told me about her online relationship with an Englishman. Their relationship started when she was only 19 years old (now she is 26). They met in a Christian dating site, exchanging emails as often as they can. Pia rarely uses the Yahoo Messenger before because she didn’t have internet access in her home in San Fernando Cebu. She doesn’t have a mobile that time.

When she was 24, she moved to Manila. We were neighbors, thus we became friends. I think what really brought us together, is we both have relationship with an Englishman. It was only in 2007 that the guy has finally decided to visit her. Of course, Pia was so excited about it. I can’t really blame her; she was so besotted with her guy.

But she started doubting her boyfriend the moment he came to the Philippines.

The boyfriend emailed her that he would be arriving in Manila at this date and time. She offered to pick him up at the airport; he declined, saying that his hotel arranged to pick him up from the airport. Yes, the boyfriend was being considerate. She lives in Quezon City, the airport is in Parañaque. So they agreed that she will go to the hotel instead. On the day of his arrival, she thought about checking his flight details in the airline website, just to see if she had the right details. Guess what? The details don’t match the ones in the website.

She went to the hotel as arranged. She was so excited to see him. But the happiness was short-lived, because the boyfriend told her that he will only stay for 4 days in Manila, and will fly back to London. She was sad about it.

But then she has becoming suspicious as the days passed. Why?

First, she noticed that he knew his way around manila and Makati. He knows exactly where to go and what to do. Considering this was his “first” time in the Philippines.

Second, she saw a crumpled note lying on the floor. A Globe mobile number is written on it. She kept the note. Wondering why her boyfriend has a Globe number, and who owns the number.

Third, on the day he left, he didn’t want her to take him to the airport. Reason: he didn’t want her going home alone from the airport.

Last, she was expecting a call/SMS from her boyfriend on the day of his arrival at Heathrow. She had none. Call/SMS came after a week. When she asked why he only contacted her now, his reply was his mobile wasn’t working and he was waiting for his internet connection to be reconnected.

She tried not to be paranoid about him. So she tried to forget all the suspicions that she has during his visit. They continued to talk to each other. He would call, send SMS, email and chat with her. It was going well until she received an SMS from him, saying something about Davao and Boracay. She smells something fishy about it. So she decided to investigate. She didn’t tell me how she did it, but what she has found out: her boyfriend came to the Philippines a week earlier than the date he “arrived” to see her. He was with another girl (owner of the Globe number she found). Then he went to meet her for 4 days. Then he contacted her a week after he “left” Manila. This “missing” week was spent with the same girl in Baguio City. Also it was not the first time he went to the Philippines. He was seeing the other girl even before he met Pia.

She was hurt of course. So she confronted him about it. As she expected, he admitted nothing. She broke up with him.

She loved him and trusted him. She thought he was honest and true to her. She was wrong.

After she relates to me her story, she asked:

HOW CAN A GIRL REALLY BE SURE THAT SHE IS THE ONLY ONE HE TALKS TO ONLINE?

I told her that I simply trust my boyfriend.

I know most of us here in the forum have success stories. Some people have unfortunate luck on their love life. We may not deserve it, she may not deserve it. But I told her to learn from her experience.

Well, to the cheating, lying men: be sure to cover your tracks if you are like this man. Women have very reliable instincts. We do sense it if you are doing something “illegal”.

This is not condoning acts of cheating, lying, and others. It seems normal for men to sow their wild oats before settling down, but do it with someone who knows the score. Don’t go on victimizing innocent girls.

[jencha8569]

sorry to hear bout your friends story kismet but its a lesson gained thru experience. she even lucky (she follow her instict very clever indeed) to know things about her bf before prolonging the relationship. the guy doesnt deserve her love and trust best to do now move on, have fun, live life to the fullest dont let her waste any time thinking bout the guy.

[andypaul]

Best to always be alert male or female look at the wife of the man who locked up her daughter and many other cases where a couple lived together for years.

[alicat]

i feel sorry for ur friend,i think at the begining of
their relationship,something is wrong,imagine it takes
more than 5 years,before he visit her?thats not right
well,thats life,hope she learn from that experience.
like andypaul said always be alert..

[pennybarry]

Best to always be alert male or female look at the wife of the man who locked up her daughter and many other cases where a couple lived together for years.

Dou you think the wife knows nothing about it? We Filipina wives will surely feel something strange and then we'll do investigate! We sometimes check our husband and or even BF's.

KISMET,
Take care of your friend Pia, she needs your moral support. We need to accept our failures, and the worst thing that may happen. She is still young, she can still find someone better! It also happens with British men, they both chatting with more than one. They collect and collect and then SELECT THE BEST! So we must be always careful for that.
Give my regards
penny

[Terry77]

Hi i hope your friend Pia finds a good man as not all us English are like this most of us are honest i belive if you meet someone online you want to visit them as soon as you get leave not after 2 years im sorry for your friend Pia but please assure her true love will come oneday as she is still very young Thanks Terry

[keithAngel]

What a syncronistic post looks like I might be needing to begin again as my lady also is open to chatting to other men my intuition is pretty good to.

Her timing is terrible as I have already booked my ticket and sent her a copy ah well Its been a pleasant few months and no real loses except time and integrity.

Back to the grindstone for me or maybe back to plan B just arrive and see who I meet the pre-internet way.

[Mrs.JMajor]

tell Pia to be a member here,who knows she will be lucky as lavander

where she has just found her good "friend" by now

[lavander]

tell Pia to be a member here,who knows she will be lucky as lavander

where she has just found her good "friend" by now

oh dear...we're getting a lot pressure now hahahah...


andy17 babe, hmmmm can you help me to reply on this...
i've been busy thinking about you the past week, so maybe its your turn to say something, don't ya think? lol!....

kidding aside, i feel for your friend Kismet,the only thing i can advise her is for her to move on...there's a lot of fish in the sea and of course as i always highly recomend look for 'matured' one ok?........enough of the xyrs you have wasted for that nonsense chap... a little charm and smile every day on her face will definitely help a lot...move on Pia...


Lavander

[pennybarry]

oh dear...we're getting a lot pressure now hahahah...


andy17 babe, hmmmm can you help me to reply on this...
i've been busy thinking about you the past week, so maybe its your turn to say something, don't ya think? lol!....

kidding aside, i feel for your friend Kismet,the only thing i can advise her is for her to move on...there's a lot of fish in the sea and of course as i always highly recomend look for 'matured' one ok?........enough of the xyrs you have wasted for that nonsense chap... a little charm and smile every day on her face will definitely help a lot...move on Pia...


Lavander

Yes Andy17, we are looking forward for your reply

[IainBusby]

Sounds like just your typical sex tourist. They go to the Philippines just for sex but they don't want to pay for it so they go on the web, find a nice girl, or more often a few nice girls and just string them all along. Then when they visit Phils, it's 4 days here and 3 days there etc. Makes me PUKE!!!! I met a guy like this in a hotel Manila and he was practically bragging about it to anyone who would listen.

Iain.

[andypaul]

Dou you think the wife knows nothing about it? We Filipina wives will surely feel something strange and then we'll do investigate! We sometimes check our husband and or even BF's.

BEST! So we must be always careful for that.
Give my regards
penny

I personally think she knows more than she lets on, but the police have been quoted several times that she didn't (although they may say this for a reason).

But remember the time when you think you are on the ball is the time you is weakest.

Thats why this site is handy as you can ask a brit is this normal or a phill is this normal for a phill to do this or say that.

But i can think of several people who thought they were on the ball and they were the ones being hustled never think your above it happening to you. As the minute you do is the minute the con artist can outsmart you

[pennybarry]

I personally think she knows more than she lets on, but the police have been quoted several times that she didn't (although they may say this for a reason).

But remember the time when you think you are on the ball is the time you is weakest.

Thats why this site is handy as you can ask a brit is this normal or a phill is this normal for a phill to do this or say that.

But i can think of several people who thought they were on the ball and they were the ones being hustled never think your above it happening to you. As the minute you do is the minute the con artist can outsmart you

I believe in your opinion and just want to know it. Thanks for that. That's why I don't think about it! there's so many questions in my mind and sometimes made me feel sick.

[ginapeterb]

And the show rolls on ! one thing you can be sure of...in long distance dating, its like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get !

[kimmi]

And the show rolls on ! one thing you can be sure of...in long distance dating, its like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get !

hope I got the Thornton Chocolate, Kuya Peter..

[keithAngel]

And the show rolls on ! one thing you can be sure of...in long distance dating, its like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get !

Ah the lady loves.............

[andypaul]

Ah the lady loves.............

shopping, shoes ummb

[alicat]

shopping, shoes ummb

and more,more,shopping

[aromulus]

And the show rolls on ! one thing you can be sure of...in long distance dating, its like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get !

It may well be so in Forrest Gump landia, but in the UK boxed chokkies come with the pictures....
So that even people like me can choose the best ones first....
Ahhhhhhhhhh... truffles.....

[jencha8569]

and more,more,shopping

i agree with you sis and more shopping

[lizaphil]

Recently I had a talk with my close friend Pia. She told me about her online relationship with an Englishman. Their relationship started when she was only 19 years old (now she is 26). They met in a Christian dating site, exchanging emails as often as they can. Pia rarely uses the Yahoo Messenger before because she didn’t have internet access in her home in San Fernando Cebu. She doesn’t have a mobile that time.

When she was 24, she moved to Manila. We were neighbors, thus we became friends. I think what really brought us together, is we both have relationship with an Englishman. It was only in 2007 that the guy has finally decided to visit her. Of course, Pia was so excited about it. I can’t really blame her; she was so besotted with her guy.

But she started doubting her boyfriend the moment he came to the Philippines.

The boyfriend emailed her that he would be arriving in Manila at this date and time. She offered to pick him up at the airport; he declined, saying that his hotel arranged to pick him up from the airport. Yes, the boyfriend was being considerate. She lives in Quezon City, the airport is in Parañaque. So they agreed that she will go to the hotel instead. On the day of his arrival, she thought about checking his flight details in the airline website, just to see if she had the right details. Guess what? The details don’t match the ones in the website.

She went to the hotel as arranged. She was so excited to see him. But the happiness was short-lived, because the boyfriend told her that he will only stay for 4 days in Manila, and will fly back to London. She was sad about it.

But then she has becoming suspicious as the days passed. Why?

First, she noticed that he knew his way around manila and Makati. He knows exactly where to go and what to do. Considering this was his “first” time in the Philippines.

Second, she saw a crumpled note lying on the floor. A Globe mobile number is written on it. She kept the note. Wondering why her boyfriend has a Globe number, and who owns the number.

Third, on the day he left, he didn’t want her to take him to the airport. Reason: he didn’t want her going home alone from the airport.

Last, she was expecting a call/SMS from her boyfriend on the day of his arrival at Heathrow. She had none. Call/SMS came after a week. When she asked why he only contacted her now, his reply was his mobile wasn’t working and he was waiting for his internet connection to be reconnected.

She tried not to be paranoid about him. So she tried to forget all the suspicions that she has during his visit. They continued to talk to each other. He would call, send SMS, email and chat with her. It was going well until she received an SMS from him, saying something about Davao and Boracay. She smells something fishy about it. So she decided to investigate. She didn’t tell me how she did it, but what she has found out: her boyfriend came to the Philippines a week earlier than the date he “arrived” to see her. He was with another girl (owner of the Globe number she found). Then he went to meet her for 4 days. Then he contacted her a week after he “left” Manila. This “missing” week was spent with the same girl in Baguio City. Also it was not the first time he went to the Philippines. He was seeing the other girl even before he met Pia.

She was hurt of course. So she confronted him about it. As she expected, he admitted nothing. She broke up with him.

She loved him and trusted him. She thought he was honest and true to her. She was wrong.

After she relates to me her story, she asked:

HOW CAN A GIRL REALLY BE SURE THAT SHE IS THE ONLY ONE HE TALKS TO ONLINE?

I told her that I simply trust my boyfriend.

I know most of us here in the forum have success stories. Some people have unfortunate luck on their love life. We may not deserve it, she may not deserve it. But I told her to learn from her experience.

Well, to the cheating, lying men: be sure to cover your tracks if you are like this man. Women have very reliable instincts. We do sense it if you are doing something “illegal”.

This is not condoning acts of cheating, lying, and others. It seems normal for men to sow their wild oats before settling down, but do it with someone who knows the score. Don’t go on victimizing innocent girls.

hi kismet,
i meet my hubby trough internet online last sept,2005 we talking about 1month i never believe him,he said to me he want to see me and come to the phils,and i said lots of man do that bola-bola to the girl but? my hubby he is very interested to see me,and he give all his details flight and everything
and i see him.and now we get marriage in manila then come over here in uk last sept,i never expect he is honest w/me

i wish to your friend lots of luck!!!

[Kismet]

very few have good luck in finding the right guy/girl. i have told Pia to join the forum, mainly to meet new friends who will probably change her opinion of foreign guys. I cant blame her for thinking guys are all the same.

it saddens me to know that a lot of guys like her ex-boyfriends are still doing all these degrading stuff.

maybe i will be able to convince her to sign up her. i see a few people posting ads (looking for friends) in the Penpal section of this forum. i hope the members who wanted to meet friends wont mind if i give their email addresses to my friend Pia.

[KeithD]

very few have good luck in finding the right guy/girl.

The MAJORITY find the right Guy/Girl if you follow this forum, and others. Those who piddle about are a small minority that give the majority a bad name.

The internet world is no different than the real world with scammers, affairs, etc. It goes on more with the guy you are likely to meet in the next road, and has done for 1000's of years.

[bornatbirth]

Recently I had a talk with my close friend Pia. She told me about her online relationship with an Englishman.

my gf is called pia short for sophia and when i started reading this thread,for a second i was thinking thats not my gf is it

simple fact is the some foreign men and SOME filipinos are only out to get what they can from each other sadly some of the real people looking for there loved one are going to meet some of these people.

after meeting my gf i soon realised i met a real person,even after chatting online i knew.

every one needs to be a little more careful

[CaptB]

Im sorry to hear this story there is a low value people put on another person. It sounds like a narrow minded sex tourist just making things to suit them and their holiday. There are a lot of good guys out there as there are Pinays, but scammers on both sides look to make things difficult. I wish your friend all the best in finding someone who values her as she deserves. No person should be treated this way.

How to make sure the guy is true is impossible. If you look at assault cases in the U.S. on Pinays its very high from husbands and the majority put up with it because of their kind nature and the fact of trying to satisfy their husbands needs. These types of guys are just predators and hard to detect and only advice I would give is trying to find a guy via your other halfs friends etc. Like me I would take personal responsibility of your friends care if I said my friend was a good match etc. Only advice i would say is be very careful. Its like a lottery on good and bad.

[miamyers]

Sorry to her that story.

You could tell that the Guys is serious in a relationship unless he will introduce his gf to his friends and family.