To all SINGLE Filipina Ladies

[happyman]

Hi my fiancee and i have had a few disagreements since we have known each other some over money , some over cultural diferences , i think a lot of misunderstandings come from not being able to talk the dialect and not fully underatnading the cultue , wich i hope to try to learn and a lot of guys dont even try or want to know which i think is silly
I think the biggest point is to remeber what has been said on both sides and be able and man enough to say sorry to your woman if you are qeong or the other way round ,then sit down and talk it through most times there will be give on both sides and an agreeable sytuation should eventuate

[toging]

been there wore the t-shirt!

[lonelyheart]

dear win2win,
your advise really does something to everyone here at the forum...
well, as per my case, maybe u can help me find my special one...
am still waiting for him...

r u there mr. unknown?, give me a hint where to find you!..you must been hiding all your life

lavander

Not Mr Unknown but Mr Lonelyheart

Who knows !!?

[Florge]

Not Mr Unknown but Mr Lonelyheart

Who knows !!?

Lavander and Mr LonelyHeart?! .... hmmmmm.... i smell romance.... hehehehe.... go go go...

[Mrs.JMajor]

Lavander and Mr LonelyHeart?! .... hmmmmm.... i smell romance.... hehehehe.... go go go...

lavander is happy at the moment, now she found one at last,i hope it will end in happy relationship,some how..................

[Strangemikan]

Thanks florge! Indeed, definitely a very expensive "you-know-what"! Thanks so much!

[Durkhaima]

Hi all I am Durkhaima's other half. To all the guys out there, they are the best women in the world and I have found my one and only. She is full of LOVE and is 110% LOYAL, hard to find that quality in a English woman. You are so right Win2Win. I do think life can not run smooth all the time, But always remember never let the Sun go Down on a disagreement no matter how small it may seem. Take care all you lovely people. Derek.

[David House]

I would add a word of caution here to this advice. There is a widespread belief in the Philippines that every white man is loaded. There is another belief that if they (the white guy married to a Filipina within a family) has it, and you (the Filipino within that family) needs it, it is their duty to give it to you without too many questions asked. Sorry if this sounds cynical. In many cases your wife, or fiance, won't be like that at all but members of her family will be. She might become as agrieved as you at constant demands for "support" or "allowances" but her natural family orientation will make her feel guilty if she doesn't "help". My advice to everyone is to establish some ground rules early on and then stick to them. To the ladies I would say please make sure that you are marrying your man for love, and for your own future, and not because he can be the salvation of your family. To the guys I would say beware, when you marry a Filipina you will find that her family play a much bigger part in your future than you might be prepared for. If you are ready for that, fine, but if not you can expect problems. My own response has always been to support efforts to become self sufficient and to avoid those which lead to dependency. I have failed miserably. Every venture we have supported, and there have been many, has failed due to a lack of basic business sense and discipline, with money being diverted to other pressing "needs" and then the hands are held out for more from the rich guy. It can produce stress and you need to be prepared.

[joebloggs]

yes some filipina's should come with a gov and bank mangers health warning

[agnesdale]

I would add a word of caution here to this advice. There is a widespread belief in the Philippines that every white man is loaded. There is another belief that if they (the white guy married to a Filipina within a family) has it, and you (the Filipino within that family) needs it, it is their duty to give it to you without too many questions asked. Sorry if this sounds cynical. In many cases your wife, or fiance, won't be like that at all but members of her family will be. She might become as agrieved as you at constant demands for "support" or "allowances" but her natural family orientation will make her feel guilty if she doesn't "help". My advice to everyone is to establish some ground rules early on and then stick to them. To the ladies I would say please make sure that you are marrying your man for love, and for your own future, and not because he can be the salvation of your family. To the guys I would say beware, when you marry a Filipina you will find that her family play a much bigger part in your future than you might be prepared for. If you are ready for that, fine, but if not you can expect problems. My own response has always been to support efforts to become self sufficient and to avoid those which lead to dependency. I have failed miserably. Every venture we have supported, and there have been many, has failed due to a lack of basic business sense and discipline, with money being diverted to other pressing "needs" and then the hands are held out for more from the rich guy. It can produce stress and you need to be prepared.

This is well said,I definitely agree.However in both sides there should be always cautions.Take time to know each other and all the problems that might come ahead will be visible,if you cant take it,,then "time to run.."
But love should not be like that,it should be sticking together even if you break your neck trying come highs and lows,so make sure that you really love each other...because year after year the only contstant in life is changes..
Beauty fades,money wont last...but if you take a monkey for its money,the money will go the monkey will stay...

[David House]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

[angel1231]

may i add..thats whay when u get married or wanting a filipina wife it always comes with the package no doubt about it.and lots of this.... from u...

[joebloggs]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

, not my misses, she works, she gives me most of her wage( for now anyway) to help pay the bills, and yes some of the money goes back to the phils to get my stepson thru uni, also to get her cousin thru uni, and to help her aunt out, which i'm more than happy and willing to pay,even thou sometime it leaves us with little left.

and i'm hoping soon she will be giving me money to spend , its not my money or her money, its our money.. and in near 6yrs we have done whats best for us and her family in the phils, without one big argument

[Queenbee]

, not my misses, she works, she gives me most of her wage( for now anyway) to help pay the bills, and yes some of the money goes back to the phils to get my stepson thru uni, also to get her cousin thru uni, and to help her aunt out, which i'm more than happy and willing to pay,even thou sometime it leaves us with little left.

and i'm hoping soon she will be giving me money to spend , its not my money or her money, its our money.. and in near 6yrs we have done whats best for us and her family in the phils, without one big argument

YOU'RE A GOOD HUBBY JOE!!

[Tish]

I too was brought up in the city, and would never dream of doing such things to others

But for every scammers out there, there's always one to be scammed, so make sure not in any

Tish

[IainBusby]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

Right on Mr House!

[kimmi]

Right on Mr House!

second the motion..

[mommyhere]

Being man and wife should always be about "sharing" even in UK, in the Phils.. or anywhere else...

I could share with anything, money, house maintenance, bills etc..if I have job or resources to get it from, if not then i could share with budgeting and chores, or simply being a responsible partner to start with..

about sending money to ur homeland families, ..oh well it depends on the urgency and needs, but it should come with a serious, honest, and realistic discussions and arrangement between the partners, but it should be dealt with both parties, wth willingness and most of all with limitations..especially if there are kids to consider and prioritize.

it's simply about sharing...
EXCEPT... except the toothbrush and the undies...

[MarBell379]

it's simply about sharing...
EXCEPT... except the toothbrush and the undies...

She told me it was all right to share her undies.
Now you tell me its wrong????

They're so comfy!!

[Fitzy]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

Hmmmm, nice thread Mr House
Very interesting too I might add.
As for me, I have been very fortunate in the respect of my humble background, and attending the most awful school imaginable
The ferol type of school, where if you were studious, and not behaving badly you got beat up for being odd!!!!
Well, I have to say that I left early, coz at 15 I had a part time job to help the family, and needed to get to college to study electronics which I did for a number of years, having being interested in radio stuff, and building things since a a very early day, lol
Ok, so I now have a very well paid job in the Airport sector planning, and maintaining bespoke radio communication/mobile data solutions for the UK, and the rest of the world.
It feels a bit daunting to have all this responsibility sometimes, but there you go .lol
To get to the point, I can easily support us, so that's the least of my worries, lol
I even have a great boss, who likes me, now how many peeps can say that hehehehe.
I requested some leave this Jan, so that I can be with my perfect princess for two whole weeks, and he was pretty cool with it, lol
Hanzell is just as excited as I am, and we chat most everyday, but I miss her soooooooooooo much, being mr impatient
She asks me for nothing, but my love, and I love to give her things, and spoil her so rotten hehehehehhh
I love her so much, coz she is beautiful in all ways.
The only thing that I was annoyed, and shocked with, was the fact that she told me that she did not possess a bed to sleep on, and that she used the floor!!!
She told me this after a year into our relationship, and needless to say, I have remedied this problem, and she is going to buy one from the malls in Cebu today
Her poor back, ouch!!
I can't have that, lol
In fact I had to insist on it, coz she don't like me spending my money. What a nice girl.
You won't find that in an English women, well most anyway, lol
Soreeeeeeeeeeeee
Please tell me which money transfer product that most of you use please?
I find Xoom excellent, fast, reliable, and good value for money.

Thanks for putting up with me heheheehh


Philip.

[bystander09]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

This is so true.. Some Filipinas with thier UK husbands do have trouble shaking the OCW syndrome. They have difficulty accepting the concept of shared responsibility for cost of living expenses.

Are Filipina wives for real..??? Or do they consider a UK husband as an overseas opportunity/employer?? The ongoing goal will be to support the family back home.. Yes indeed, when they work, their salary is for the folks back home.. The poor UK hubby is just to cover the day to day expenses in the UK..

bystander

[IainBusby]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

This is so true.. Some Filipinas with thier UK husbands do have trouble shaking the OCW syndrome. They have difficulty accepting the concept of shared responsibility for cost of living expenses.

Are Filipina wives for real..??? Or do they consider a UK husband as an overseas opportunity/employer?? The ongoing goal will be to support the family back home.. Yes indeed, when they work, their salary is for the folks back home.. The poor UK hubby is just to cover the day to day expenses in the UK..

bystander

I think that the problem for many is that their families back in Phils see them as OFW's from whom remittances are not just hoped for but expected. I have noticed however, from various posts that I have read on this forum, that although most of the newley arrived Filipina wives always seem to accept this situation, there seem to be a big difference of attitude with the wives that have been here for 5 years or longer. It seems that over a period of time living in the UK, a sense of reality starts to creep in.

Iain.

[gWaPito]

This is so true.. Some Filipinas with thier UK husbands do have trouble shaking the OCW syndrome. They have difficulty accepting the concept of shared responsibility for cost of living expenses.

Are Filipina wives for real..??? Or do they consider a UK husband as an overseas opportunity/employer?? The ongoing goal will be to support the family back home.. Yes indeed, when they work, their salary is for the folks back home.. The poor UK hubby is just to cover the day to day expenses in the UK..

bystander

i can assure you, not in our household! what my wife earns stays here and that is her choice, not mine, yes we are a ph/uk marriage but, unlike others we are more like a western marriage ie; the money goes into one pool, our pool

[SteveTalaga]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

Amen!!!

[LuisaKC]

A few more thoughts to add to my post yesterday, directed to the ladies. I find that many Filipinas have a belief that their "needs" will all be taken care of by their husband. He will pay all the costs for housing, food, transport, clothing etc etc from what he earns. Of course, if you are a full time housewife, looking after the home and kids, then that is true. However that is a rarity in the UK these days. Most couples both have to work just to pay their bills and lead a reasonable life style. Nevertheless many Filipinas feel that what they can earn is "theirs" and that they can do whatever they wish with it, normally sending most of it back to their various family members. This can cause conflict. You are not an OCW here just to work and remit. You are a wife and you must take an appropriate share of the living costs of you and your husband. There may not be very much left to send back. Thats' the way it is here now so you had also best be prepared for it.

well said

[grahamw48]

Yep...I can dig that.

[jencha8569]

well said and quite right mr.house.lol

[burf316]

Thank you. Even though this was posted few years ago, the lesson is still promising. I am wishing, hoping and praying to meet my only one.

[Dr Graham]

I've been amazed while reading through this topic, that quite a lot of (good) contributions have been made by members who are now BANNED !
Some of them had Hundreds or even Over a Thousand Posts to their Credit ???

I Own a Yahoo Group and I'm a Moderator on a couple of other Forums. I often have to Ban Members for Posting SPAM, but these guys are usually Newbies who join purely to try to use the Group for their own Financial Gain.
The remainder who get Banned are usually "disturbed people", or folk who's attitude is Aggressive and Abusive, and they usually get weeded out before they've clocked up more than half a dozen posts.
I've NEVER needed to Ban a Long Standing Member and certainly no one with a Prolific Posting Record.

Did WW3 happen, but nobody outside this Forum heard the BIG BANG ?

[Steve.r]

I've been amazed while reading through this topic, that quite a lot of (good) contributions have been made by members who are now BANNED !
Some of them had Hundreds or even Over a Thousand Posts to their Credit ???

I Own a Yahoo Group and I'm a Moderator on a couple of other Forums. I often have to Ban Members for Posting SPAM, but these guys are usually Newbies who join purely to try to use the Group for their own Financial Gain.
The remainder who get Banned are usually "disturbed people", or folk who's attitude is Aggressive and Abusive, and they usually get weeded out before they've clocked up more than half a dozen posts.
I've NEVER needed to Ban a Long Standing Member and certainly no one with a Prolific Posting Record.

Did WW3 happen, but nobody outside this Forum heard the BIG BANG ?

shall I ban him too