OLD IS WHEN ... your sweetheart says, "Let's go upstairs and make love", and you answer: "Honey, I'm unable to do both y'know!"

OLD IS WHEN ... your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, when you're barefoot.

OLD IS WHEN ... a sexy babe "catches your eye", and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

OLD IS WHEN ... going topless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

OLD IS WHEN ... you don't care where your spouse goes, as long as you don't have to tag along.

OLD IS WHEN ... you are cautioned to slow down by your GP, instead of by traffic control cops.

OLD IS WHEN ... "getting lucky" means you've found your car where you left it in the parking lot.

OLD IS WHEN ... getting a little bowel movement means you can do without the help of a laxative that day.

OLD IS WHEN ... an "all nighter" means NOT getting up to go to the loo!