... light-hearted look at possible (mis)interpretation(s) vis-a-vis commonly~used medical data listed alphabetically:


Artery ........ Study of paintings

Bacteria ...... Back door to cafeteria

Barium ........ Bury 'em

Benign ......... Age after eight

Caesarean ..... Roman neighbourhood

'Cat' Scan ...... Searching for "Kitty"

Cauterise ....... Made eye contact with her

Colic ............. Sheepdog

Coma ............ Punctuation mark

Dilate ............ Long life

Enema ........... Not a friend

Fester ............ Quicker than someone else

Fibula ............ Wee [white] lie

Impotent ......... Distinguished

Labour pain ..... Hurt at work

Morbid ............ Higher offer

Nitrates ........... Rates of pay for nightshift

Node ............... Knew it

Pelvis .............. Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative ... Letter carrier

Rectum ............. Nearly killed him

Secretion ........... Something hidden

Seizure .............. Roman Emperor

Tablet ................ Small table

Terminal Illness .. Getting sick at the airport