Disclaimer: By posting on this web site it is accepted that you have agreed to our Terms. Please DO NOT publish copyrighted material/pictures without the owner’s permission, you are liable for any costs incurred.


Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Respected Member cheekee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    East Sussex
    Posts
    1,454
    Rep Power
    144

    Extracts from letters written by council tenants

    1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

    2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

    3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

    4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

    5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

    6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

    7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

    8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

    9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen...

    10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

    11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.

    12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

    13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

    14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

    15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

    16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

    17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

    18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

    19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..

    20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

    21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

    22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.


  2. #2
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Pampamga
    Posts
    3,728
    Rep Power
    150
    very good, reminds me of the old Jasper Carrot insurance quotes.


  3. #3
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Nottinghamshire
    Posts
    11,643
    Rep Power
    150
    Yes, very funny


  4. #4
    Trusted Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Pangasinan
    Posts
    25,596
    Rep Power
    150
    Hahaha ! Hilarious.


  5. #5
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Birmingham
    Posts
    7,191
    Rep Power
    150


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. The Way English is Written ............
    By Rosie1958 in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 13th February 2014, 02:08
  2. Low Life Tenants
    By Dedworth in forum Rant
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 13th April 2011, 20:51
  3. Written Agreement
    By amyburple in forum Help & Advice
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 4th November 2008, 12:51
  4. Leave Letters ever Written
    By cheesewiz in forum Humour
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 2nd August 2008, 22:11
  5. Letters of complaint to the council
    By GaryFifer in forum Humour
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 29th July 2008, 17:06

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum