Disclaimer: By posting on this web site it is accepted that you have agreed to our Terms. Please DO NOT publish copyrighted material/pictures without the owner’s permission, you are liable for any costs incurred.


Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Cotabato.
    Posts
    9,137
    Rep Power
    150

    Be careful what you wish for.....

    A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
    He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
    She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
    “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
    She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
    1) You have to be single and
    2) You must be Catholic.”
    The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
    “OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
    The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
    “My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
    “Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
    The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  2. #2
    Respected Member jonnijon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    1,299
    Rep Power
    112


  3. #3
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Birmingham
    Posts
    7,191
    Rep Power
    150


  4. #4
    Respected Member Slip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Leicestershire
    Posts
    1,468
    Rep Power
    99


  5. #5
    Respected Member Longweekend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Cheshire
    Posts
    1,525
    Rep Power
    85


  6. #6
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Cotabato.
    Posts
    9,137
    Rep Power
    150
    An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a fully-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
    The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.
    A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
    The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
    Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
    'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.
    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
    'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
    'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
    'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.
    The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
    The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big .... and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  7. #7
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Cotabato.
    Posts
    9,137
    Rep Power
    150
    So wrong but so funny...


    This woman calls the cop station, the officer asks: What’s wrong? How can I help you?

    She says: There are two men outside my house fighting over me!

    Cop: And what do you want me to do about?

    Woman: I want you to break up the fight, the ugly one is winning...



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  8. #8
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Nottinghamshire
    Posts
    11,643
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
    He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
    She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
    “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
    She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
    1) You have to be single and
    2) You must be Catholic.”
    The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
    “OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
    The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
    “My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
    “Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
    The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
    Brilliant, really made me smile


  9. #9
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Nottinghamshire
    Posts
    11,643
    Rep Power
    150
    Nice jokes, very enjoyable indeed


  10. #10
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Cotabato.
    Posts
    9,137
    Rep Power
    150
    Always be lucky in life Mr Parnham



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Be careful out in the Philippines
    By stevewool in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 16th May 2017, 16:37
  2. Be careful what you are watching
    By stevewool in forum TV/Film/Video
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 4th May 2017, 07:24
  3. Be very careful!
    By raynaputi in forum Living in the Philippines
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 4th June 2015, 20:56
  4. careful what you wish
    By imagine in forum Humour
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 13th July 2012, 08:06

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum