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Thread: Our Children

  1. #1
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
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    Our Children

    Many of us have kids some maybe your own, some may be adopted too, but they are our kids, you love you sometimes don't like them but you forgive and move on until the next time.
    I have mentioned my son a few times and how he has been and it was getting better but BOOM it's just gone downhill and it is making me so angry with myself.
    As his father trying to explain to a 26 year old where I think he is going wrong in his life and knowing he is thinking "shut your mouth tw-t".
    Over the last few weeks he has become very lazy, he is in such a rush all the time, he does not have a spare minute at all. I do try to say wake up early and then you will have time to wash your pots do a little work in the house and so on, but to no avail at all.
    Sunday he came back from a few days holiday with his mum and all was well until I said I am putting your board up, "why?" he asked.
    Well what do you do in the house I said. I do MY pots and I do MY washing, I clean MY room and sometimes I will buy MY food too.
    Well I said is there something that matches here like MY, do you do anything for the rest of us in the house. "like what?" he asked.
    Cleaning, polishing, doing things to help Emma and myself if we are doing a double shift and you are not working that day.
    Well he listened and I thought I got through to him, but yesterday after a double shift for Emma and me working hard and he being at home, nothing was done except his washing put onto three clothes-horses and just stuck in the room with all that wonderful sunshine to dry it.
    Then he goes out comes in late and cooks a pizza at midnight and goes to bed. I came in today, and yes the pots I washed before going to work are still there waiting for me to put away, and yes his pizza plate is in his bedroom.
    Time to say go to your mums you seem to have a wonderful time there as your drinking pal, 10 years of living here with me when his mum did not want him seems to count for nothing, but that's life, time to move on.
    Any advice?

  2. #2
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
    South Cotabato.
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    He is 26 no longer a child so no need to treat him with kid gloves. Shape up or ship out.

    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.

  3. #3
    Trusted Member grahamw48's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    I really couldn't comment on somebody else's son Steve.

    As you know, I also have a son in his twenties, (23) here in England... sometimes living with me when he's in between flats or whatever.

    All I can say is that nobody could love their son more than I do, and he knows that, but neither of us will ever be perfect, or agree on everything... and there will also be that generation gap (which can make them grumpy when we're spouting off) . It's about respect when you're having to be under the same roof. We do need to respect the fact that THEY are adults too now, and that can be the hardest one to get our head round.... IN OuR OWN HOME . I don't know of many young lads who respond well to their dads laying down the law, to be honest.

    I think a 'gently gently' approach is more likely to work, if we're trying to get our way on something... and maybe a bit of humour.

    They get the message then, but without hurting their 'manliness'.

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