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Thread: Seasonal Humour

  1. #1
    Respected Member Amaw2008's Avatar
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    Seasonal Humour

    What do you call a man who dresses up in a strange outfit, gains access to people's houses in the middle of the night, all the while laughing to himself and muttering that he's looking for children?


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    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    So Santa and Christmas is bad...Is that your Christmas message??
    Anything else to add?


  3. #3
    Respected Member Amaw2008's Avatar
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    I titled my post "seasonal humour" fred, under the impression that it might make you say hohoho; that's what I have to add. If you seriously consider it to be an attack on western culture then I feel pity for you more than annoyance


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    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amaw2008 View Post
    What do you call a man who dresses up in a strange outfit, gains access to people's houses in the middle of the night, all the while laughing to himself and muttering that he's looking for children?
    Very strange. I can never understand why parents lie to their children about someone who doesn't even exist


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    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Well I thought it was quite funny


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amaw2008 View Post
    What do you call a man who dresses up in a strange outfit, gains access to people's houses in the middle of the night, all the while laughing to himself and muttering that he's looking for children?
    You think old Santa himself is scary?Check out krampus the austrian legend ghoul that beat people unconscious over the festive period,or Hanns Trapp who used to capture and salt down children to eat over the christmas time if thats not enough to make people ho-ho-ho over their christmas roast i dont know what is



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    You think old Santa himself is scary?Check out krampus the austrian legend ghoul that beat people unconscious over the festive period,or Hanns Trapp who used to capture and salt down children to eat over the christmas time if thats not enough to make people ho-ho-ho over their christmas roast i dont know what is
    Oh my God, never


  8. #8
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Yes michael,some countries didnt believe in santa they believed in christmas CANNIBALS



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Bit like Easter here with their self flagellation


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    Respected Member Slip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    Very strange. I can never understand why parents lie to their children about someone who doesn't even exist
    What even about the man under the stairs that's going to get her if she keeps being naughty?


  11. #11
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SimonH View Post
    Bit like Easter here with their self flagellation
    I have actually seen flagellants in the hunza valley in Pakistan,nutters



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  12. #12
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    I have actually seen flagellants in the hunza valley in Pakistan,nutters
    Seen It here, and as you say nutters

    Especially when when carry a bucket of water with them to dip the leather strap in so the blood doesn't get congealed


  13. #13
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Pakistani shia had chains with curved pieces of sharp metal on the ends to gouge out chunks of flesh,absolute brainwashed lunatics,never underestimate the stupidity of religious fanatics



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  14. #14
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Pakistani shia had chains with curved pieces of sharp metal on the ends to gouge out chunks of flesh,absolute brainwashed lunatics,never underestimate the stupidity of religious fanatics

    Ok you win

    Never underestimate the attention of kids though. First time I saw it here there were 5 or 6 kids in the car and I said effing idiots when I saw it.

    Few hours later another kid comes back to the inlaws place with blood on his back after copying the idiots and crying.
    One of the other kids looked at him and in perfect English called him an effing idiot


  15. #15
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Thanks for the rep, whoever gave it


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    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amaw2008 View Post
    I titled my post "seasonal humour" fred, under the impression that it might make you say hohoho; that's what I have to add. If you seriously consider it to be an attack on western culture then I feel pity for you more than annoyance
    My apologies for that post.. It was probably very late when I posted and didn't check that it was in the humour section.. Gives self slap.


  17. #17
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Your a decent guy fred



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  18. #18
    Respected Member andy222's Avatar
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    Daffy Duck calls the hotel reception and asks for a condom. They answer, "Yes sir, shall we put it on your bill." He replies, "Are you stupid? I'll suffocate."
    Last night my wife asked me what I was doing on the internet. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you." she said, and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing sex ever, which is amazing because she's never shown the slightest interest in darts before.


  19. #19
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andy222 View Post
    Daffy Duck calls the hotel reception and asks for a condom. They answer, "Yes sir, shall we put it on your bill." He replies, "Are you stupid? I'll suffocate."
    Last night my wife asked me what I was doing on the internet. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you." she said, and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing sex ever, which is amazing because she's never shown the slightest interest in darts before.
    Nice one


  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by andy222 View Post
    Last night my wife asked me what I was doing on the internet. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you." she said, and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing sex ever, which is amazing because she's never shown the slightest interest in darts before.

    That tickled me no-end.
    A real cracker.


  21. #21
    Respected Member Amaw2008's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fred View Post
    My apologies for that post.. It was probably very late when I posted and didn't check that it was in the humour section.. Gives self slap.
    Ok Fred, no prob


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