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Thread: Family values

  1. #1
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Family values

    You hear about the loving family we support ourselves and muck in together, THE FAMILY VALUES, its called, but does it exist,
    Have you got a story that its alive and kicking or a story about its dead and long gone,


  2. #2
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Different for everyone,some families are fragmented and fractured,some are tight and cohesive,you can choose your friends but not your family



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Lucky myself as well as my lovely lady and our little boy we have my father living with us who turns 80 in 2 weeks and would have it no other way also extremely close to my sister who comes down each morning before work. My brother on the other hand we are worlds apart and don't bother with each other...


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Pinoy families are much the same but the politics and dynamics within each group are even more bizarre at times,whatever anyone tells you about pinoy family values I have seen enough families in the PI to realise thats not true for all



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  5. #5
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Pinoy families are much the same but the politics and dynamics within each group are even more bizarre at times,whatever anyone tells you about pinoy family values I have seen enough families in the PI to realise thats not true for all
    indeed


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Pinoy families are much the same but the politics and dynamics within each group are even more bizarre at times,whatever anyone tells you about pinoy family values I have seen enough families in the PI to realise thats not true for all
    Double indeed.

    I've come to the conclusion that the Pinoy family values 'glue' is largely myth.


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    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Most probably it was there a few years back but time moves on and we all want the best for our children so who then comes first the children or your Parents,
    If only it could be a case of giving and sharing to both, rather then forgetting and hopefully someone else can sort it out , whats the saying bury your head in sand


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    As for me, I've always believed that we owe our children everything, but they owe us nothing.

    As a kid I knew we had a large large family and I also knew my mum and dad held reasons not to be close.
    I later discovered that they both found it difficult to give in to the constant requests for emergency help. We didn't have much of anything really but it didn't deter the leaches from taking whatever they could get a away with.


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    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Thats a good word Leaches, I shall have to remember that one rather than the Evil one


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    My own siblings and mum here in UK are pretty close, though all physically living in different towns. Plenty of mutual respect and affection.


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    Double indeed.

    I've come to the conclusion that the Pinoy family values 'glue' is largely myth.
    It is,I have a book-full of personal experiences and observations to back up the pinoy-families-aint-that-perfect argument



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  12. #12
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    It is,I have a book-full of personal experiences and observations to back up the pinoy-families-aint-that-perfect argument
    No family is perfect but its when they think they are, thats when the problems start


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    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    No family is perfect but its when they think they are, thats when the problems start
    I can never remember my mother ever saying she loved me or giving me a hug, never knew she was my mother until I was about 9 or 10 years old, but it never bothered me because I never new any different, it bothers me now though!


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    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    ... but it didn't deter the leaches from taking whatever they could get away with.
    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    Thats a good word Leaches, I shall have to remember that one ...
    ... leach ... ... isn't it 'leech' for the parasite?

    ... not trying to be pedantic here ... ... it's just I once knew folks called Leach.

    Oops, - my mistake - their name was spelt Leitch.


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    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    As for me, I've always believed that we owe our children everything, but they owe us nothing.
    Yep, me 'n' all!


  16. #16
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Family values, IMO, are paramount to a civilised Society.

    Now I've no wish to stir up a hornet's nest ... but I've said it before - and I'll say it again - I peronally feel standards have dropped since mothers with pre-school-age children started going out to work en masse.


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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    You hear about the loving family we support ourselves and muck in together, THE FAMILY VALUES, its called, but does it exist,
    Have you got a story that its alive and kicking or a story about its dead and long gone,
    Family values in the Philippines seems to center around financial gain

    Allow me to widen the debate further on financial matters in the Philippines
    I have yet to meet anybody in the Philippines who has a clue about money or how to spend it
    Here in the UK we are brought up to believe that saving some money for emergencies is prudent
    That just does not happen in the Phills whatever money they have they will spend and only start to think about money when all their money has run out

    Is this just different cultural behaviour or do we put it down to a lack of education on financial matters ?


  18. #18
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    I can never remember my mother ever saying she loved me or giving me a hug, never knew she was my mother until I was about 9 or 10 years old, but it never bothered me because I never new any different, it bothers me now though!
    Thats something I can empathise with,my mother and father were exactly the same,no display of affection whatsoever,they were both actually quite brutal and nowadays would be prime candidates for a child abuse case But I always tell my kid I love him,and even though he is taller and bigger physically than me I always hug him,this sometimes embarrasses him and he shrugs me off,but at least he knows I am always there for him
    London_manila your right,most family disputes I have seen in pinas in a number of different families revolve around cash,I know guys who say I want to marry a filipina because they have family values,they really need to know the word should sometimes be spelt VALUEs



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Similar experience for me Tawi, and I'm also like you are with your son. I try not to embarrass him too much now he's 21 and a very fit bodybuilder.


  20. #20
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by London_Manila View Post
    Family values in the Philippines seems to center around financial gain

    Allow me to widen the debate further on financial matters in the Philippines
    I have yet to meet anybody in the Philippines who has a clue about money or how to spend it
    Here in the UK we are brought up to believe that saving some money for emergencies is prudent
    That just does not happen in the Phills whatever money they have they will spend and only start to think about money when all their money has run out

    Is this just different cultural behaviour or do we put it down to a lack of education on financial matters ?
    My friend who has been going to the Philippines for the past thirty years or so says exactly the same. Maybe they don't save their money because they don't want to part with what they saved when a family crisis arises.


  21. #21
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    As for me, I've always believed that we owe our children everything, but they owe us nothing.
    Proves what a decent fella you are Peter . Pity the selfish religious loons I got lumbered with didn't share the same sentiments. They even had the brass neck to admit I was only brought into this world to look after them when they're older. I may well have done if they hadn't put their buddy in the sky before me and my sister leaving us without any emotional support for our entire childhoods .


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    Quote Originally Posted by Ako Si Jamie View Post
    My friend who has been going to the Philippines for the past thirty years or so says exactly the same. Maybe they don't save their money because they don't want to part with what they saved when a family crisis arises.
    Yes maybe and if other members of their family find out that they have some savings then for sure they would have a great idea on how to spend it.......

    I have seen some unbelievable situations over there regarding money.....
    The rents due at the end of next week but this person thinks it fine to blow their last 2000 pesos on a night out with friends


  23. #23
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by London_Manila View Post
    Yes maybe and if other members of their family find out that they have some savings then for sure they would have a great idea on how to spend it.......

    I have seen some unbelievable situations over there regarding money.....
    The rents due at the end of next week but this person thinks it fine to blow their last 2000 pesos on a night out with friends
    Very common in Philippines!


  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    Very common in Philippines!
    There seems no sense at all behind their spending habits and if anything they seem hellbent on making themselves poorer

    If you try and point out that their spending habits maybe not such a great idea they just don't get it at all......
    The attitude seems to be "oh well tonight i will be happy spending this money and having a great time with my friends and next week i will be depressed about having no money to pay the rent"


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    Quote Originally Posted by London_Manila View Post
    There seems no sense at all behind their spending habits and if anything they seem hellbent on making themselves poorer

    If you try and point out that their spending habits maybe not such a great idea they just don't get it at all......
    Driven by mug buying of brands & designer names to keep up with the Jones'es


  26. #26
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dedworth View Post
    Driven by mug buying of brands & designer names to keep up with the Jones'es
    A lot of them borrow money to have a Fiesta and it will take three years to pay back with lot's of interest and the following year they borrow again for the annual Fiesta and every year the debt gets bigger and when they die the rest of the family end up paying what's owed and the Fiesta still continues and the bill gets bigger and bigger and so it goes on and on!


  27. #27
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    The best thing my mum and dad gave me was common sense. It was bread into me, and I still use it and that's what a lot of people in this world are missing


  28. #28
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Parnham View Post
    A lot of them borrow money to have a Fiesta and it will take three years to pay back with lot's of interest and the following year they borrow again for the annual Fiesta and every year the debt gets bigger
    Mirrors the ones over here who get too far into debt over Christmas.


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    They certainly seem happier and more sociable than most of the miserable buggers in this rich country.


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    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    They certainly seem happier and more sociable than most of the miserable buggers in this rich country.
    That's true!


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