What’s NOT Fun in the Philippines

[Terpe]

For better but not forever

By Cito Beltran

Poetic as it may sound, I never liked the phrase “Parting is such sweet sorrow” because there is nothing sweet in sorrow and I have always said that in any break up, those who get left behind often suffer the most because they are stuck in the same old familiar places that only serve to torment them. Parting need not be romantic in nature to be full of sorrow nor is it just about physical separation. Sometimes the sorrow can be envious in nature as in being the person who does not get to go on a trip or adventure.

Last Friday the “parting” was worse, knowing that one of our dearest friends was moving on to a safer, cooler, cleaner, kinder environment while the rest of us would be stuck with “What’s NOT Fun in the Philippines. It’s ironic that those who leave always talk about what they’ll miss about the Philippines while those left behind remind them what they can live without; the criminality, the traffic, the incompetent and corrupt government, highest taxes and electricity in Southeast Asia, poorest and lowest quality of services etc. The only good thing about it all was that our friend was going “for better but not for good.” In the end we all love the Philippines.

Technically speaking our friend has a good life in this country but they are moving for the sake of their children. I suspect that it all started out when their eldest daughter set out to study abroad on her own. After only two years, the transformation and growth was so enormous that they convinced their second child to follow suit. A year later, the couple decided that all the children needed to be immersed in a culture of independence and self-reliance in order to prepare them for a future that will certainly be competitive. If you happen to belong to the upper class or the top 20% of wealth producers in the country, it soon dawns upon you that a college degree or a Masters degree is no longer an advantage for employment or personal progress, neither are they as good as they used to be.

What has begun to make a difference is having an honest to goodness “International exposure” acquired by living and growing on site and not just from a temporary stay incidental to a 2-year course. So much premium has now been placed on authentic mastery of foreign language, on the ground network, alongside an international education and training. Even in the best schools of Metro Manila today’s students will not acquire such skills unless they leave the country and live in another. In the process of preparation it also became clear that our dear friend began to realize how challenging as well as liberating life can be living abroad where you have no “connections,” no maids and drivers, and where your family name does not ring a bell, make a difference or gets you kidnapped.

Of course, it helps that they have the means and the opportunity to live abroad without having to make one those “Live or Die” choices that requires you to first walk out of the familiar in order to pursue something that can be a dream or a nightmare. Some might question or criticize their levels of contentment considering they have it all. But do they?

Some people I know leave the country just to be rid of the day-to-day drama of extended families or people telling them how to live their lives. But as for our friend I fully appreciated the reality and frustration under Philippine conditions. For starters, any middle or upper class parent who ever attempts at developing independence and self-reliance in their children will almost surely experience a tide of criticism if not obstruction from grandparents and well meaning friends. Many people place so much trust in their current wealth and the luxuries it buys without realizing that the next generation may not have the skills required to generate, acquire, or maintain today’s wealth unless they get yesterdays training, such as independence and self-reliance like “Lolo” did.

Ironically, it is partly because of the wealth that many Filipinos are not capable of “living alone” or fending for themselves. The luxury of having maids and cooks have also bought them ignorance and made them incapable of basic domestic chores. We of course justify this by saying I did not go to college to be good at domestic chores and besides, I am giving people jobs to do what I can’t or won’t. But that’s not the point is it. The issue is self-reliance and independence.

Our friend and her kids are excited about learning how, when and where to take the inter-city bus, the rapid transit train system, school bus and plane check in. But how can we teach that here in Metro Manila where the only time the crime wave goes down is when the spokespersons or commanders of the PNP are giving the reports. Otherwise all you have to do is listen to the nightly newscasts and you will know for sure that it’s not safe to let our kids out unguarded or unsupervised.

Try teaching your kids how to take a tricycle, a jeepney, a bus, MRT or plane and they will certainly have a blood clot from confusion and frustration. Any person who rides any of the above are not just “making a personal choice,” they are taking a big risk in terms of physical safety being in a “vehicle” that would not pass any international safety standard. In fact the tricycle and jeepney does not fall into any real definition of a “vehicle.” Imagine how frightened a young adult would be trying to fly within the Philippines knowing flights can be stopped, delayed, rerouted with no prior notice or intelligent explanation.

How will you explain routes, schedules and fares for transportation in the Philippines, well? We don’t even know where they start and end because we just catch them somewhere along the way. As for schedules, we only very recently established a “Philippine Standard time” which is to no avail except to tell the time because schedules never work because of the traffic.

The truth is we spend so much time and energy on survival we never fully achieve independence and self-reliance because It’s Not THAT Fun in the Philippines.

Source[/QUOTE]

[Michael Parnham]

Very honest opinion!

[malolos]

I use the wife's broomstick when she is not about, but do not tell her I said that.

[grahamw48]

Hahaha.


Trouble is, these rich Filipino folk continue to moan on about how bad traffic etc is in the Phils, but never do anything sensible about it ! ...Just sit in their airconditioned, smoked windowed 4x4s and cruise on by the peasants.

[Michael Parnham]

Strange this thread cropped up today because Maritess was contacted by an old schoolfriend last week who was arriving in England Friday Sept 26th to do a course on behalf of her Saudi employer and arranged to stay with her cousin in Stoke on Trent. Anyway to cut a long story short the woman contacted Maritess Saturday last and said she would like to visit our house today (Monday) and on the strength of that Maritess changed shifts at work and yesterday did extra shopping to feed her and her cousin (who was driving her here). At 8 30 am Maritess called her to see what time they would be arriving and the woman said that they will be setting off after they've dropped the children off at school so we assumed they will be arriving about 11am. 2pm arrives nobody arrived so Maritess called her and she said they were in Woodhall services on the M1 having some lunch and they won't be long, now they are ten mins from where we live but have gone past the junction that they should have taken so we are still waiting and it's now almost 5 30pm. We are not pleased and if they arrive now I may turn them away. The point I'm making is, that this happens a lot in Philippines and when you mention it they laugh at you and say it's Philippine time, I just think it's extremely bad manners.

How would other members handle this situation?

[Trefor]

Depends how much Maritess wants to meet up with her schoolfriend?
Assumption is a great thing. Was there actually an agreement they would come to your place at a certain time? If not, then there is no real issue, just a misunderstanding.

If you're not bothered about meeting them then go out this evening

[grahamw48]

As you know Michael...different culture, different ways. Don't let it get to you. You won't change them, but may upset your Mrs.

[raynaputi]

Keith always has to rush me whenever we're going out..I had to have that extra 5 mins to finish everything, or else I'll forget something!

The only thing I don't miss in the Philippines is the traffic. I've always complained about it while I was still there. That's why working on the night shifts was really something I enjoyed, no traffic at all.

[Arthur Little]

working on the night shifts was really something I enjoyed

Never had a nightshift "job" ... until after I'd retired!

[Arthur Little]

Keith always has to rush me whenever we're going out..I had to have that extra 5 mins to finish everything, or else I'll forget something!

Regardless of how much preparation I've made beforehand ... ... I invariably find myself rushing around at the last minute!

[Ako Si Jamie]

Strange this thread cropped up today because Maritess was contacted by an old schoolfriend last week who was arriving in England Friday Sept 26th to do a course on behalf of her Saudi employer and arranged to stay with her cousin in Stoke on Trent. Anyway to cut a long story short the woman contacted Maritess Saturday last and said she would like to visit our house today (Monday) and on the strength of that Maritess changed shifts at work and yesterday did extra shopping to feed her and her cousin (who was driving her here). At 8 30 am Maritess called her to see what time they would be arriving and the woman said that they will be setting off after they've dropped the children off at school so we assumed they will be arriving about 11am. 2pm arrives nobody arrived so Maritess called her and she said they were in Woodhall services on the M1 having some lunch and they won't be long, now they are ten mins from where we live but have gone past the junction that they should have taken so we are still waiting and it's now almost 5 30pm. We are not pleased and if they arrive now I may turn them away. The point I'm making is, that this happens a lot in Philippines and when you mention it they laugh at you and say it's Philippine time, I just think it's extremely bad manners.

How would other members handle this situation?

Go out or pretend you're out. Unreliability is one of my pet hates, although I have yet to come across it in the Philippines. I suppose I better touch some wood now.

[Jentobeharrison]

Filipinos are known to that PH time and I can't see why they are somehow proud to be known uniquely as that. One common scenario is texting your friend that you're on your way but you just woke up and rushing to prepare yourself

[Jentobeharrison]

As of the mo, the most not fun for me in PH is crime rate especially in Metro.

[Terpe]

...... Unreliability is one of my pet hates

One of mine too.

Michael, I get the feeling that no fixed schedule was actually agreed.
Makes life difficult.

My wife still believes punctuality is a theft of time.

Whereas, I usually want a fairly precise schedule.
I'm a person who usually arrives ahead of time and I have little understanding for anything different.

This sort of thing can often be a cause of misunderstandings on both sides and difficult to pin down

Don't get miffed unless a definitive schedule was agreed.

[London_Manila]

Strange this thread cropped up today because Maritess was contacted by an old schoolfriend last week who was arriving in England Friday Sept 26th to do a course on behalf of her Saudi employer and arranged to stay with her cousin in Stoke on Trent. Anyway to cut a long story short the woman contacted Maritess Saturday last and said she would like to visit our house today (Monday) and on the strength of that Maritess changed shifts at work and yesterday did extra shopping to feed her and her cousin (who was driving her here). At 8 30 am Maritess called her to see what time they would be arriving and the woman said that they will be setting off after they've dropped the children off at school so we assumed they will be arriving about 11am. 2pm arrives nobody arrived so Maritess called her and she said they were in Woodhall services on the M1 having some lunch and they won't be long, now they are ten mins from where we live but have gone past the junction that they should have taken so we are still waiting and it's now almost 5 30pm. We are not pleased and if they arrive now I may turn them away. The point I'm making is, that this happens a lot in Philippines and when you mention it they laugh at you and say it's Philippine time, I just think it's extremely bad manners.

How would other members handle this situation?

I have canceled many meetings in the Philippines due to their poor timekeeping
As soon as it gets to the meeting time and they have not arrived I txt them and say don't bother
I normally get a reply saying the traffics really bad
Bad manners and laziness is the reason
They are quite happy for you to sit around all day waiting for them

[Michael Parnham]

Thanks for all your replies, I am not miffed really because I half expected it to happen and they did eventually arrive at approx 7pm, after I made a point of the fact they were late apologies were fired at us right left and centre and all was forgiven eventually we had a pleasant evening. Maritess was upset a little because since she arrived here she has realised how important time is compared to how unimportant it is in Philippines and she was just the same when I first met her. As for rushing at the last moment Rayna Maritess is exactly the same as you panicking to be ready on time, I think that is just a woman thing really. We always like to be promt and more often than not we are early when we have an appointment. The arrangement we had was for lunch by the way but no time stated!

[stevewool]

COME ON EMS LETS GO, That's the words that seem to roll on and on and on and on and on and on and on, I have even tried to put the clock forward too.

[KeithD]

Filipino's think it is polite to be late

[Trefor]

COME ON EMS LETS GO, Thats the words that seem to roll on and on and on and on and on and on and on,i have even tried to put the clock forward too, ,

I add a 15 minute buffer in any journey time planning, usually works, but not always.

[Abigail]

I always tell my husband we have to be somewhere a lot earlier than we actually do so that by the time he is running late we get there on time. I hate to be late it really upsets me so this is the best way around it. Filipino time is probably one of my least favourite things!

[tiger31]

Strange this thread cropped up today because Maritess was contacted by an old schoolfriend last week who was arriving in England Friday Sept 26th to do a course on behalf of her Saudi employer and arranged to stay with her cousin in Stoke on Trent. Anyway to cut a long story short the woman contacted Maritess Saturday last and said she would like to visit our house today (Monday) and on the strength of that Maritess changed shifts at work and yesterday did extra shopping to feed her and her cousin (who was driving her here). At 8 30 am Maritess called her to see what time they would be arriving and the woman said that they will be setting off after they've dropped the children off at school so we assumed they will be arriving about 11am. 2pm arrives nobody arrived so Maritess called her and she said they were in Woodhall services on the M1 having some lunch and they won't be long, now they are ten mins from where we live but have gone past the junction that they should have taken so we are still waiting and it's now almost 5 30pm. We are not pleased and if they arrive now I may turn them away. The point I'm making is, that this happens a lot in Philippines and when you mention it they laugh at you and say it's Philippine time, I just think it's extremely bad manners.

How would other members handle this situation?

micheal being an ex serviceman nothing makes me more mad in this country than time keeping ,and your right they the ( philippinos ) just don,t get it how rude it is to not turn up on a stated time it drives me nuts .I have to bite my tongue here so many times over it .I have now resorted to walking out on someone that turns up late here maybe they might get the message.

[tiger31]

I wonder if they are late at turning up for work I think not for fear of losing their job so why do they think its ok to be late at other times ?

[Terpe]

..... The arrangement we had was for lunch by the way but no time stated!

Sometimes it's nice to have a late lunch

Sound like all's well that end's well

[raynaputi]

I used to arrive on time whenever my friends and I would meet up when I was still in the Philippines. But they were usually (if not always) late so everytime we'd have other meet ups, I also started arriving late, sometimes later than them that they'd have to wait for me instead. Hahahaha

[raynaputi]

I wonder if they are late at turning up for work I think not for fear of losing their job so why do they think its ok to be late at other times ?

I was usually late for work when I was working there (my manager's complaint all the time). I know it's awful but I wasn't reprimanded because they cannot fault my work as I've always managed to finish it and even do more what they've asked.

When I was working in Accenture Philippines, our team had a money pot for all the late people to pay into (5 pesos for every 5 minutes late). The money pot will usually be used for food for our snacks and such. One time I had to pay for an hour's worth of late because I opted to ride in a friend's car going to work and the car broke down on the way. Haha..When I resigned, they all were sad because the money pot would be empty everyday!

[tiger31]

I was usually late for work when I was working there (my manager's complaint all the time). I know it's awful but I wasn't reprimanded because they cannot fault my work as I've always managed to finish it and even do more what they've asked.

When I was working in Accenture Philippines, our team had a money pot for all the late people to pay into (5 pesos for every 5 minutes late). The money pot will usually be used for food for our snacks and such. One time I had to pay for an hour's worth of late because I opted to ride in a friend's car going to work and the car broke down on the way. Haha..When I resigned, they all were sad because the money pot would be empty everyday!

If I was your boss I,d fire you plenty of fish in the sea for labour lol my friend in the UK employs around 30 people 3/4 of them are foreigners he said he fired most of the English ones for lateness and being sick all the time. etc. He said the foreigners are never late always work overtime when required etc. It must be an English thing being late lol

[raynaputi]

If I was your boss I,d fire you plenty of fish in the sea for labour lol my friend in the UK employs around 30 people 3/4 of them are foreigners he said he fired most of the English ones for lateness and being sick all the time etc .He said the foreigners are never late, always work overtime when required etc. It must be an English thing being late lol

I guess I was very lucky that my American bosses were very considerate and they do give leeway especially when you least expect it. They usually say as long as the job is done then everything's great. The American boss I had in Accenture would always tell me not to do overseas calls whenever I was the team's IT support for the week and he would just call me during daytime in Manila. The last boss I've had before I left for UK would usually tell us to work from home if it's raining and flooding (which happens a lot of times in Manila & Makati). He always would tell us our health and safety is the main priority and work will always be secondary, that we also need to have a life outside work. He would also allow our vacation leave right away even if we give notice only the day before. Great men all of them, that's why I loved working for them (I actually miss working for them).

I had British bosses when I was working in Singapore, I never liked any of them. They were out of touch with the employees and never even bothered to talk to us other than the higher ranking ones.

[fred]

Filipino's think it is polite to be late

They also think its impolite to be early..

[Ako Si Jamie]

The Filipino's who think westerners are all rich and getting invited to a restaurant where they expect you to pay. Those are my main gripes.

[Michael Parnham]

The Filipino's who think westerners are all rich and getting invited to a restaurant where they expect you to pay. Those are my main gripes.

The only time I pay is when I do the inviting!