Keeping the relationship going!!

[Tish]

Hello All

How do you keep the above alive, kicking and most of all going?

It is no doubt hard work but so far after 20 odd years with the same man, we're still together and getting stronger

However, I do want/like/love to keep our relationship going for another 50+ years more so any tips/ideas/experience to share in this remarkable forum will I'm sure help members alike

Your avid reader,

Tish

[grahamw48]

Sorry, but I only managed 15 before being kicked into touch.

[Tish]

Sorry, but I only managed 15 before being kicked into touch.

Awww... 15 is a long time Graham considering recent stats on marriage

Well come back BTW

I am enjoying reading your recent holiday post

Wishing you and your lovely Mercedes all the best

Tish

[grahamw48]

Thanks Tish.

[Arthur Little]

Tish ... I was married to my first wife, Iris for 24 happy years. Sadly, she passed away from Non Hodgkins Lymphoma exactly a week before Christmas 1991 - 12 months' short of what would've been our Silver Wedding anniversary.

But ... ... life goes on and, in 2008, I met and married my present (Filipina) wife, Myrna ... who's determined we'll BOTH still "be around" for our Golden Wedding in 2058 ... by which time, I shall be 114 and she, an of nearly 99!

[Tish]

Tish ... I was married to my first wife, Iris for 24 happy years. Sadly, she passed away from Non Hodgkins Lymphoma exactly a week before Christmas 1991 - 12 months' short of what would've been our Silver Wedding anniversary.

But life goes on and, in 2008, I met and married my present (Filipina) wife, Myrna ... who's determined we'll BOTH still be around for Golden Wedding in 2058 ... by which time, I shall be 114 and she, nearly 99!

To have lost your first wife just short of 12 months to what would have been your silver wedding anniversary must have been so painful for you Arthur and I'm glad you have found Myrna to share living beyond centenarian to which I'm sure not impossible

I wouldn't mind living past that age too as long as I will continue to have my mobility along with my sanity too

[raynaputi]

Keith and I are just in our 2.5 years of marriage (almost 4 years of being in a relationship), so I'm not in the right position to give advice yet on how to keep the relationship going for a long time. Although, what I can say works for us is we always have a good laugh every single day and having things in common (whether watching football, liking the same shows, music, etc.) really helps a lot in enjoying each others company. Of course there are arguments and misunderstandings at times (it's normal with every relationship), but being on the same ground, fixing things immediately and communicating properly is the main key in patching things up. We always talk a lot regardless if what we say makes sense or not. Also, if you both accept the person who he/she is (past and present, including families of course), then I think you'd be able to have the good relationship you both want, with no hang ups whatsoever.

[Tish]

The first few years of our marriage was the most difficult one for us

Hubby and I were so busy with the children, our job and to act like 'grown up' which means family responsibility comes first that we forgot about each others needs

So we try to appreciate one another whenever we can, albeit it is so easy to take for granted even now

[Tish]

Keith and I are just in our 2.5 years of marriage (almost 4 years of being in a relationship), so I'm not in the right position to give advice yet on how to keep the relationship going for a long time. Although, what I can say works for us is we always have a good laugh every single day and having things in common (whether watching football, liking the same shows, music, etc.) really helps a lot in enjoying each others company. Of course there are arguments and misunderstandings at times (it's normal with every relationship), but being on the same ground, fixing things immediately and communicating properly is the main key in patching things up. We always talk a lot regardless if what we say makes sense or not. Also, if you both accept the person who he/she is (past and present, including families of course), then I think you'd be able to have the good relationship you both want, with no hang ups whatsoever.

Very wise words Raynaputi

You and your husband are very lucky to have the same things in common as not a lot of relationships have

Hubby and I 'used' to have a lot of things in common, but as we go through being older together for longer , we tend to do a lot of things separately and don't always have the same things in common.

Also , hubby is very comfortable being solitude while I on the other hand is very sociable and will need to be 'out and about' most of the times and hubby never stops me from going anywhere, otherwise we will have a problem

But one thing that is keeping us going is that deep down we do still love and care for each other and I often tells him that I can honestly see myself wiping his if needs be or should I say if and when the time comes

[raynaputi]

Hubby and I are sociable, but with friends and relatives. We both usually back off a bit with meeting new people because of trust issues. I think we both know our limits when it comes to socializing with other people.

I'm with Keith 24/7 so it really helps that we have things in common. I never go out without him (I can't drive and living in the country side made it even more impossible to go out alone!) and I don't like the idea of being alone going somewhere anyway. Of course we don't agree with a lot of things too, like food, my liking of musicals (he hates musicals! ) among other things, but good thing we agree with sports. Like a lot knows, most men are into sports and good thing I do like watching sports.

When it comes to his family and kids, I can only say what I think but I let him handle all the decision with regards to them, likewise him with regards to my family. I think respecting that thing is a good way to have relationships with each others families.

[Tish]

Hubby and I are sociable, but with friends and relatives. We both usually back off a bit with meeting new people because of trust issues. I think we both know our limits when it comes to socializing with other people.

I'm with Keith 24/7 so it really helps that we have things in common. I never go out without him (I can't drive and living in the country side made it even more impossible to go out alone!) and I don't like the idea of being alone going somewhere anyway. Of course we don't agree with a lot of things too, like food, my liking of musicals (he hates musicals! ) among other things, but good thing we agree with sports. Like a lot knows, most men are into sports and good thing I do like watching sports.

When it comes to his family and kids, I can only say what I think but I let him handle all the decision with regards to them, likewise him with regards to my family. I think respecting that thing is a good way to have relationships with each others families.

Mutual respect is the key indeed

Hubby and I used to be inseparable then along came the kids then one of us has to stay at home to watch them. He did try to come with me to parties when the kids were little but he says he always ends up looking after all the other kids at the party because all the moms were too busy 'chin wagging' that he'd rather stay at home and just watched our kids

But now the kids are older so it's just myself left to attend parties

I don't have any issues meeting anyone and everyone as I like meeting new people at all times and I don't expect everyone I met to like me as I don't always like everyone I met

I've never lived in rural areas so I'll probably waste away where you are

I have always driven a car and an independent person all my life so Keith is one very lucky man indeed to have found you Well, you're both lucky to have found each other and to have most things in common I believe in faith

[fred]

Keith and I are just in our 2.5 years of marriage (almost 4 years of being in a relationship), so I'm not in the right position to give advice yet on how to keep the relationship going for a long time.

Ive been with my Mrs for 27 years Rayna and I still feel unqualified to give advice on this subject..
About the only thing I could say of any use is that you both have to continue liking each other..
Apart from that...I`m stumped!

[Michael Parnham]

Ive been with my Mrs for 27 years Rayna and I still feel unqualified to give advice on this subject..
About the only thing I could say of any use is that you both have to continue liking each other..
Apart from that...I`m stumped!

I think you're quite correct Fred, I was married to my ex for 23 years, what went wrong?

[stevewool]

Laughter and listening to each other

[Tish]

Thank you all for the kind responses - received gratefully

I think I'll have enough to keep our relationship going for the next 50+ years with just the above responses guys. I mean mutual respect, liking one another continuously, laughter and listening is a lot already All I need to do now is apply it in practice

Tish

[Longweekend]

We are coming up to 20 years and that time has been taken up with bringing up our three children, they will soon be off to Uni which should allow us lots of time we can spend together, I'm hoping it will be in France or Spain as we are both tired of the weather here, but to come back to your original question, appreciate each others needs and I don't think you can go too far wrong......

[Tish]

We are coming up to 20 years and that time has been taken up with bringing up our three children, they will soon be off to Uni which should allow us lots of time we can spend together, I'm hoping it will be in France or Spain as we are both tired of the weather here, but to come back to your original question, appreciate each others needs and I don't think you can go too far wrong......

Yes Longweekend, you can't go wrong with that

It's good that you and the missis will be spending some quality time together when all your kids at Uni

We still have our 15 years old at home but hubby and I can go anywhere now but only for long weekends as it won't be fair to let the elder kids look after the youngest for longer than that

Tish

[andy222]

The pressure of work (if both of you work) can cause big problems. You just dont have time for each other.

[marksroomspain]

The pressure of work (if both of you work) can cause big problems. You just dont have time for each other.

And kids on top Andy........

[Tish]

The pressure of work (if both of you work) can cause big problems. You just dont have time for each other.

Indeed Andy222

Seven years into our marriage and hubby and I nearly split up and that was through neglecting each other

We we're both so occupied with work and family commitments that we ended up in front of a marriage guidance counsellor

Luckily we only needed one appointment as we both realised that our relationship is worth fighting for then

Now I tell hubby he's stuck with me as I've invested too much time already to let our relationship go

Tish

[Tish]

And kids on top Andy........

Yes!

Tish

[Terpe]

Marriage is all about give and take................
Everyone know the next line

[Arthur Little]

Marriage is all about give and take................
Everyone know the next line

Didn't know there was a next line, Peter ... but I'll provide one anyway:


Marriage is all about give and take
Anything less ... ... then you've made a mistake !

[Terpe]

Didn't know there was a next line, Peter ... but I'll provide one anyway:


Marriage is all about give and take
Anything less ... ... then you've made a mistake !

Top class Arthur

Here's the way I intended:-

Marriage is all about give and take................ I give and my wife takes

I prefer your 'punchline' though

[Tish]

Hey gents

I don't just take you know I do give

Hubby and I always have an equal relationship especially when it comes to finance right from the start of our relationship

But I do get the jest that the majority of relationship men just keeps giving and the other halves would just keeps on taking

Tish