On culture shock, horror, and disgust: Some of the emotions from which I'm still reeling

[Neu75]

Don't you mean 'though'

Not really,

Is this a PhilippinoUK forum or a spelling forum?

[les_taxi]

Don't you mean 'though'

'Tho' is an informal way of saying the same word, perfectly acceptable

[les_taxi]

Is this a PhilippinoUK forum

No, it's Filipino UK Forum

[Arthur Little]

I was just saying ..... as much as Deadworth

... 'es not dead yet! ... at least I hope not, anyway!

[gWaPito]

'Tho' is an informal way of saying the same word,perfectly acceptable

You're find Neu75 is sending you guys up

[les_taxi]

Nah, he would not do such a thing

[Jentobeharrison]

I would really love to reply on this thread but I cannot start it without knowing what OP means. hahahahaha. Anyone?

[Doc Alan]

I would really love to reply on this thread but I cannot start it without knowing what OP means. hahahahaha. Anyone?

Original Poster ( member who started a thread with first post, dontpushme on this thread ) Jen

[Jentobeharrison]

Where do you live? My fiance is from Merseyside and there are some points on your thread that seem so similar to my situation though I haven't lived at his place, he went here twice and also his family and friends are my friends on Facebook so I have some things on my mind, but not really for complaining though.

Before my fiance and I met personally here in PH, I made it up to the point that he will not get ill here, I was scared that he might get mosquite bites, he might not like the the scent of our house or get food poisoned, and I really made an effort to clean our house, disinfect what has to be, avoid dirty places and chose to stay in a very clean hotel room, course I dont want him to say negative things about me, my family, our house and especially our country. I washed all our curtains, bed sheets and my clothes with fabric conditioner so he won't complain about bad odour though our house has been really clean and well-maintained but when you have visitors, course you will do everything to let them feel that they're special and well treated.. Lets just call it Hospitality.

What i have been seeing in the movies (Mr.Bean specifically) hahaha, British are keen when it comes to table manner, they're formal like what I am seeing in restaurants in Greenbelt, so when I first brought him to our house, I asked my mom to make the food in our table organised. My boyfriend and I are aware with cultural differences and we are somehow preparing for it, it really helped me to say all of these to him and also he saw how OC I am when it comes to cleanliness but then again, we did not make this as an issue but rather exchanging of trivias.

First hygiene:

We stayed in a hotel and they provided us utensils, (spoon, fork, etc.) My fiance is a tea person and before he went here, he asked me to look for chamomile tea, so I did. The first night, he made a cup of tea, and he went to the rest room, to get his toothbrush, I asked him what he will do, he said he gonna stir his tea, I was shocked and he surely saw my eyes like this (I am really good with facial expression) so he did really know that I was surprised, he asked why, I said, that's a toothbrush and it's dirty, why would you use it to your tea? He just said, he's a man, lazy and alone bachelor in his apartment so he will do whatever is convenient for him, I told him that the tea has a string to help him removing the bag and no need for stirer, well he was not used to it as I have seen his tea bags from UK, it has no string, just tea bag.

My fiance's mum is around 60 plus old now and my fiance is 28, and until now his mom loves washing his clothes, (prolly that's his excuse for not washing his own clothes) lol. So when I was organising his clothes, especially his jumper, it wasn't smelly but it doesnt smell good as well so I asked him who wash his clothes, he said his mum, so I did not bring that topic up, instead I asked him if we can bring his jumper to a laundry house so when he get back to UK, it will be clean. Probably, his mom doesnt use fabric conditioner, well I guess it's a no big deal for them, and also I did not make this as an issue.


When we had our Mother's day dinner, as I have mentioned, I asked my mama to organise the table so he will feel at ease but my fiance got really comfortable I put a piece of fried chicken on his plate and pasta, gave him spoon and fork, he used his fork in pasta and used his hands to eat the chicken but I asked him to wash his hands first before he use it because we just came from outside and his hands carry bacteria,it was no big deal for him, but he still washed his hands. My family used spoon and fork whilst eating the fried chicken, and he used his bare hands in eating it, he asked me, why am I using spoon and fork in eating chicken I said, because we have a visitor, he said, they dont eat chicken and burgers using utensils so Okay, NAGKAMAY kami which was really fun and I thought he would be too OC with his plate but nope, he eats like a child or maybe he was not just used in eating without knife, well I can really say that he really felt at home in our house which is a good thing,

Personal Hygiene:

I prepared myself for a bad odour that I might smell whenever he's around because there are westeners/foreign peope who dont take a shower everyday (because of their kind of weather or because they're just used to). I was suprised that my fiance is mindful about our tropical weather and when he was here, he takes shower three times a day because he said its hot here. Also, he is a football player so my friends are telling me that dont get turned off when you smell him, again surprisingly, he doesnt have a bad smell, but after he takes shower, I always put powder on his chest and on his back telling him that he has to put powder every time especially when he plays football so when he sweats, it will not smell bad, which i am glad because until now, even I am not with him, he always put powder on his chest and back now

I myself is too keen about oral hygiene, I really take care of my teeth and it has been taken care of since I was a child. One of my fears is to encounter someone who has halitosis, but about him, it made me confident because as what I have seen on his pictures before, he has good teeth.

I love kissing him when we wake up in the morning, but he was shy, he will avoid me and say he has morning breath, (It's normal I know) but he will still go to the restroom first to brush his teeth before he kiss me in the morning, or even talk to me, told him that it's okay, he said, he will always do that even if we are married lol.

His nails on his fingers are all short because of nail-biting, I was also doing that when I was a kid but I was able to cope with it, when I feel that my nails are already long, I would cut it short so I wont be tempted to bite it, and not really fan of putting nail polish.In his case, I cannot really stop it because it needs time and he's the only one who can control it. Whenever he does that, I always tell him that I am going to put boxing gloves to his hands so he would stop spitting the nails in our bed side, and he jokingly said that he could spit it to my side if I prefer lol. His toenails are likethe nails of a zombie man, I bought nail cutter because I want to cut it, he said he's gonna cut it in the morning but I did not trust him so I cut it when he was asleep lol

Not to brag, but Filipinos especially Filipino women are known having good hygiene especially when it comes to personal hygiene. I am always concious about how I smell and asked him, he told me that he has no complain about how I smell because I am the cleanest woman he ever had, no bad odour, no morning breath and even my (you know what I mean) has no odour as what he tells me always.

Shfiting gears, he never shifted gears in front of me, or I have never encountered any foreign men doing that in front of me.

Waste and disposable attitude:

I agree with that especially about food, if he doesn't like it, he will trash it but I will end up eating it lol. HAHAHHA I guess that's not for british people alone, even my kiwi bosses, they are like that.

Spelling, Grammar and accent:

My fiance works in BT and not being mean but he and his friend are making fun of Filipino accent as they are also talking to their offshore partners here in the Philippines, their offshore partner is somewhere here but not in Metro Manila so they have really different strong accent, mine is neutral even if I am working for a NZ telecommunciation company, I am also having a hard time adapting their accent, I would stick having an american accent, whenever my fiance makes fun of my accent (as lambing) I would attack him with his grammar lol. Recently I just asked him why do they keep using "was" in subject "you" I have noticed that on facebook posts of his family and friends, and I wondered because my friend from London uses "YOU WERE", my fiance said, it's regionalism and also some of them they aren't aware about the difference of "YOU'RE" and "YOUR". Spelling, I have seen some brits who are not really good in Spelling, but it looks like they spell the word based on how they say it like one of his contacts on facebook posted with the word "MENY" instead of "MANY", "Philippinos" instead of "Filipinos" but that's not just for British, some nationalities are worse though.

And I will leave that to them.


So far so good, but if you will ask me, my opinion is, hygiene depends on the person, how he/she used to and it is not because it's a british thing, even using tissue papers in wiping their *&^%#% after pooping. I have an ex boyfriend he is an american PhD but his hygiene was worse really. Pronounciation, grammar, spelling, punctuation marks, there are lots of factors to consider about it, first is their educational attainment and what we called, regionalism.


My professor in Psychology said that it takes ten years for a person to become well-adjusted especially when it comes to culture.

I just hope that you and your baby are safe.

[Michael Parnham]

Interesting post, just don't know what to say at the moment, you deserve a rep though!

[stevewool]

whell meye sphelling his very poor , has hit stopped me from being successful , just be yourself, maybe its others who have the problem

[les_taxi]

Yes, interesting post but I feel it's hard work following it all. Life is for living and reading the above just makes just living a normal day a to-do list if you know what i mean. I think we westerners don't worry about germs as much as filipinos - we just get on with it. I think some are obsessed with worry about germs putting the fear all out of proportion.How did we manage to survive as cavemen with not toilet rolls, disinfectant, shampoo, properly cooked food etc.

I believe in hygiene of course, we all like to look and smell good but i think Filipino's take it to a extreme level.

If I dropped my toast onto a reasonably clean kitchen floor -big deal - I will still eat it. When I'm in the pub how clean is the glass I'm drinking out of - who knows I'm drinking anyway.

I'm a believer that you need to be exposed to some germs to build up immune system. In my taxi over the course of a year, I pick up people coughing and wheezing, every manner of bugs no doubt.

Can't remember last time I was ill as I believe my immune system has built up being exposed.

The posts are good don't get me wrong but it would do my head in having to think every action through.

[Jentobeharrison]

Yup I agree on that, and it's the matter of adaptation.

[Jentobeharrison]

Yes, interesting post but I feel it's hard work following it all. Life is for living and reading the above just makes just living a normal day a to-do list if you know what i mean. I think we westerners don't worry about germs as much as filipinos - we just get on with it. I think some are obsessed with worry about germs putting the fear all out of proportion. How did we manage to survive as cavemen with no toilet rolls, disinfectant, shampoo, properly cooked food etc.

I believe in hygiene of course, we all like to look and smell good but i think Filipino's take it to a extreme level.

If I dropped my toast onto a reasonably clean kitchen floor -big deal - I will still eat it. When I'm in the pub how clean is the glass I'm drinking out of - who knows I'm drinking anyway.

I'm a believer that you need to be exposed to some germs to build up immune system. In my taxi over the course of a year, I pick up people coughing and wheezing, every manner of bugs no doubt.

Can't remember last time I was ill as I believe my immune system has built up being exposed.

The posts are good don't get me wrong but it would do my head in having to think every action through.

It is not actually telling my fiance what to do and not to do, of course he had a choice in not obeying those but we both know that he is in an evironment where he is not used to and I wouldn't forgive my self if something bad happened to him here in my country. I am the only reason why he went here, he is my responsibility whenever he is here. I am accountable, if something bad happen to him, I might be cursed by his family and friends lol

[stevewool]

Who can remember wiping there butt on a dockleaf? Or am I the only one? If that is too much imformation, what about the News of the World then?

[stevewool]

Yes, interesting post but I feel it's hard work following it all. Life is for living and reading the above just makes just living a normal day a to-do list if you know what I mean. I think we westerners don't worry about germs as much as filipinos - we just get on with it. I think some are obsessed with worry about germs putting the fear all out of proportion. How did we manage to survive as cavemen with no toilet rolls, disinfectant, shampoo, properly cooked food etc.

I believe in hygiene of course, we all like to look and smell good but i think Filipino's take it to a extreme level.

If I dropped my toast onto a reasonably clean kitchen floor - big deal -I will still eat it. When I'm in the pub how clean is the glass I'm drinking out of - who knows I'm drinking anyway.

I'm a believer that you need to be exposed to some germs to build up immune system. In my taxi over the course of a year, I pick up people coughing and wheezing, every manner of bugs no doubt.

Can't remember last time I was ill as I believe my immune system has built up being exposed.

The posts are good don't get me wrong but it would do my head in having to think every action through.

You are right Les, many times when as a kid the things I ate, well, I am still here

[les_taxi]

who can remember wiping there butt on a dockleaf

[Michael Parnham]

who can remember wiping there butt on a dockleaf or am i the only one, if that is to much imformation , what about the news of the world then

We used to use the Daily Herald!

[Arthur Little]

You're find Neu75 is sending you guys up

... that's a "Neu" one on me!

[grahamw48]

I will continue to say NOWT.

[dontpushme]

Jentobeharrison:
We live less than an hour from your fiance so it might be that the regionalisms you've pointed out apply to both our situations.

I can't say that I'm OC when it comes to cleaning. I don't mind dust, and I don't freak out when the house is a little untidy. However, I will panic, visibly or not, when I see cross-contamination between wet/raw food and sticky floors. In my family, we've always followed the clean-as-you-go rule (CAYG), and as long as that's followed, I'm pretty easy to get along with.

For the most part, I don't have any complaints about my husband's hygiene. He showers every day, always wears deodorant, and brushes his teeth twice a day. He's learned to wash his hands after handling garbage too. Also, after that one incident in 2009 when he tried to scrub a smudge off my face with his spit and I slapped his hand away, he's never done it again.

I've never had a problem with eating with one's hands. As far as I'm concerned, as long as a person washes his hands before and after the meal, he can eat with his hands or whichever utensil he prefers. Of course, this may stem from the fact that I grew up in the province, and we ate with our hands on the farm or on the beach. My city-bred cousins don't know how to properly eat with their hands and they inevitably get their food on everything. When the technique is right, the food is only ever touched with the fingers of the right hand, and it doesn't get anywhere else. It's actually quite a tidy way to eat if you know how.

When we're not with company, I do the same thing you do when it comes to food that my husband leaves on his plate. As long as it's not ABC (i.e., already been chewed), of course.

My husband's accused me of being a pedant several times through the years, but we usually get along when it comes to the English language. His grammar is impeccable, and I trust his usage and pronunciation of any local terms he teaches me.

It may well take me ten years to adjust to the local culture. Hopefully, with the steps we've taken since I posted my questions here, my husband and I can make the transition easier on everyone.

Thanks for the well wishes! I'm actually in early labour now. If I disappear from the forum for a few days, it means I have my hands full.

Yes, interesting post but I feel it's hard work following it all... The posts are good don't get me wrong but it would do my head in having to think every action through.

I wouldn't deny that it might be daunting to an outsider looking in, but we gradually learn these rules starting from even before we can walk. If you pay attention to what Filipino mothers coo to their babies during bath time or nappy changes or feeding time, you'll notice the mothers inject bits of our hygiene rules in the things they say. It doesn't feel like too much to us because it's all we've ever known, really.

[gWaPito]

If you pay attention to what Filipino mothers coo to their babies during bath time or nappy changes or feeding time, you'll notice the mothers inject bits of our hygiene rules in the things they say. It doesn't feel like too much to us because it's all we've ever known, really.

Nice post Denise

If I've only picked one positive element, it's my wife's hygiene.

I took it on board Showering twice a day using Dove.

When we were kids back in the late 60s early 70s, we showered once a week, every Sunday (Before Doctor in the house started) whether we needed it or not. .using same bath water! ! Hahaha It didn't do us any harm. ..I think

[stevewool]

When we were kids back in the late 60s early 70s, we showered once a week, every Sunday (Before Doctor in the house started) whether we needed it or not. .using same bath water! ! Hahaha It didn't do us any harm. ..I think

Those was the days, but like you say, did it do us any harm then?

[Michael Parnham]

I remember the very first time I ever saw a real shower, it was in 1989 when I went to Hong Kong to meet my ex for the first time. In actual fact that year was also the first time I had ever left the UK and also the first time I had ever been in or seen an aircraft other than seeing them fly overhead!

[fred]

Nice post Denise

If I've only picked one positive element, it's my wife's hygiene.

I took it on board Showering twice a day using Dove.

When we were kids back in the late 60s early 70s, we showered once a week, every Sunday (Before Doctor in the house started) whether we needed it or not. .using same bath water! ! Hahaha It didn't do us any harm. ..I think

Once a month...If we were lucky!

[Michael Parnham]

Once a month...If we were lucky!

Is that you Fred? reminds me of the time I had my bath but it was every Friday!

[gWaPito]

Life was hard but simple back then, according to my parents..you made do, that was it. No choice, no confusion

[grahamw48]

You were lucky.

We used to dream about having an indoor bath.