Do all filipina's brought to uk act like this??

[Moy]

My husband is 15 years older than me and has no assets, i.e. house (renting from housing association), savings (money is enough for all our needs and need to work extra so we can go on holidays), and car (he has Motability from RAF). He has his own company to run his websites though and gets War pension and DLA. If he dies, the only thing I can get from him is the pension. His online business, I don't know how to run it and he says he will sell it when he can't do it anymore.

Do I mind that? No. Does that worry me? No. I even told him I don't care about his pension because I can choose to go back in the Philippines where I have my own house and a bit of savings from working in the past. I also have my SSS pension which I'm still paying. My sister has a business which she has always been willing for us relatives to get involved in (she even asked my aunts who are OFWs to go home and just work with her). My siblings actually always tell me that I have more money when I was in the Philippines.

You see, marriage and relationships doesn't have to be having plenty of money and assets. Finding someone you love is not always having the other person have money more than you need. As long as I'm not starving (fridge and cupboard is overflowing actually) and have a roof on top of me, plus a little bit of luxury sometimes (dining out, holiday, gadgets, heating in the house is 20C above the whole year, etc.), then who says being married to my older husband is doomed without him having the assets that the others here have? I met my husband and fell in love with him not because he may have money to give me and my family. As long as he is a good provider for the both of us then good. It's only a matter of being content on what you have and understanding all your and your partner's limits .

If you're not content with what you have, you won't be content with what you want.

[raynaputi]

If you're not content with what you have, you won't be content with what you want.

[malditako]

If you're not content with what you have, you won't be content with what you want.

Contentment is the measurement of one's standard and people do have different levels of standard in life

[marksroomspain]

Thanks Mark. I've just learned from my parents and my grandparents. Trust me, we don't have riches back home, but I've seen how they are when it comes to their marriages. Money is a problem most of the time, but it didn't become a reason for them to fell apart, they are still very sweet to each other up to now. My dad has always been a provider, but when he lost his job at the age of 40+ or so, my mum took the lead. They both managed to give all of us a very good education and a nice life despite all the money problems.

Tell you something Rayna that is almost a mirror reflection of my wife Jamie's previous situation.

You have hit the nail on the head, I have a sweet loving family orientated girl who sticks by me tooth and nail no matter what.

I suppose I am a lucky guy like Keith also

[Moy]

contentment is the measurement of ones standard and people do have different levels of standards in life

You cannot be good enough for everybody but u will be always be the best for the one who deserves you.

[gWaPito]

You cannot be good enough for everybody but u will be always be the best for the one who deserves you.

What's that book of quotes called Moy ? xx

[gWaPito]

not having material things means its a hellhole...if u also get my drift?...

Did I say material things How about no food on the table. ..good example

We need the OP back for some clarification

[grahamw48]

contentment is the measurement of ones standard and people do have different levels of standards in life

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers

.

(Now try saying it quickly Moy...without using an 'f' word ).

[gWaPito]

Perhaps it would also be wise for Filipinas to be as careful when choosing their prospective life partner.

Most seem to make very little effort in investigating the man's life...past and present, or the true facts about his country and culture.

So true. .why is the onus on the guy to adapt to their culture when it's they who are wanting to live in ours.

Good point Graham . .not enough said about this.

[gWaPito]

Hi takenoprisoners! Sorry about your plight. I can only advise you to sit with your wife and discuss about her unpleasant attitude. She probably needs a reality check and look back where she came from. If she wants more, she better be working harder shouldn't she? Don't lose faith, give her chance and, if it doesn't work, get rid of her.

About your question, No not at all. I guess it depends on someone's upbringing. Either way, I wish you and your wife can sort things out for the sake of your child. Hugs!

Can't say fairer than that
Rep on the way

[bigmac]

So do we have to starve to be in the real world? Do we have to get cold to be in the real world? Do we have to not have any house to live in to be in the real world. What we have is what we call our priorities (food, house, clothes, heating) so we put our money on that. We live in the real world. We don't spend on things we will never need. We don't drink and smoke either so no money wasted on such habits. The only holiday we had for two and a half years that I've been here in the UK is our holiday in the Philippines last November. I think if you plan things accordingly with the money you have, then you can have luxuries that you want, which what we are doing.

The point i was making--in this country 1000's of families struggle to make ends meet--eating out in restaurants is a rare luxury---holidays--probably never. To many, utility bills are a big slice of their income---and this is those that have a job--many dont!

Have you seen these food banks on TV ? This is the real world facing many brits--today.

I'm well aware many filipinos see Britain as a land of plenty--but this is far from the case.

By the way--I don't smoke---or gamble for that matter--not even the Lottery.

[Jentobeharrison]

Always better to marry a woman with financial stability. Someone who's your equal

I totally agree! lol

[gWaPito]

I totally agree! lol

Does that mean we're friends again ? I do hope so ...They are fast becoming a dwindling commodity at this present time. .I'm not sure why that is

[Jentobeharrison]

My fiance is just 6 years older than me, we might not have age issues though, but I am still getting the same reaction from other people.

I have a stable job, I can buy the things that I need using my own money, I have never been deprived and I didn't suffer from poverty actually,but I have a FOREIGN boyfriend.

Do the people who are seeing us know what I have? No, they don't. Do the people who are seeing us together know that I have a stable job? That I have my own money? That I can support my own needs? No they don't. Do the people know that I am the one who's paying for our hotel? No, they don't. What they are all seeing is that I am a filipina who has dark skin, and walking with a foreign man who might just be my "client". Even my friends who are very close to me think that I am getting monthly allowance from him, which is a big No No. If my fiance is way older than me, I'd probably still be in love with him, because of what he is and not because of the age.

You see my point? I mean, the stigma, the normal reaction, and the narrow mindedness of other people are just the things that make this issues grow. We have different stories, we have different reasons why we chose our partners, age is just one of the factors.

There are a thousand reasons why we fell in love with our partners and age might just be the downside, but it is just one versus a thousand.

[raynaputi]

The point i was making--in this country 1000's of families struggle to make ends meet--eating out in restaurants is a rare luxury---holidays--probably never. To many, utility bills are a big slice of their income---and this is those that have a job--many dont!

Have you seen these food banks on TV ? This is the real world facing many brits--today.

I'm well aware many filipinos see Britain as a land of plenty--but this is far from the case.

By the way--I don't smoke---or gamble for that matter--not even the Lottery.

I know that bigmac. But people have different circumstances and ways to manage the money they have. Just because one person isn't getting hungry like another person, doesn't mean he/she is not in the real world. We do have big bills as well (just our electric costs us £250 at least monthly and we managed to put it down compared last winter, but we don't use oil and gas), we just have to budget properly. I never saw UK as a land of plenty though. It's just another country with too many problems as well.

[Jentobeharrison]

Does that mean we're friends again ? I do hope so ...They are fast becoming a dwindling commodity at this present time. .I'm not sure why that is

I have never been mad at you personally I guess? Hahaha. We are both sharing our own opinions and it doesnt mean we are attacking each other personally. Hahaha That's how intelligent people do. HAHHAA

[jake]

......now there's a point, where are all the long time married on here There used to be loads of them here posting on a regular basis years ago

The long time married on here have probably seen,heard,listened and more recently read most of the discussions/arguments on this thread.

Nothing wrong with the OP taking out 2 life insurance policies for his wife and child. I wish more older chaps marrying younger ladies would do the same, especially if they plan to live in the Philippines. Could tell you a few stories of older foreigners leaving their filipina wife's and kids in dire straits.

My wife has taken out 2 life insurance policies for me and i have 1 for her. We were discussing last week about me taking out another one to make it 2-2. That would mean we could take the 3 knives out from under the pillows or add another.

[bigmac]

(just our electric costs us £250 at least monthly and we managed to put it down compared last winter,

gulp--that IS a lot. by comparison--i just had my quarterly bills in--£100 for elec--and £240 for gas------but i was a trained energy adviser so i practice what i used to preach. i dont turn the central heating on till 4 pm most days.

but you can see what i was driving at--utility bills of £1000 a year are crippling to many household budgets.

[raynaputi]

(just our electric costs us £250 at least monthly and we managed to put it down compared last winter,

gulp--that IS a lot. by comparison--i just had my quarterly bills in--£100 for elec--and £240 for gas------but i was a trained energy adviser so i practice what i used to preach. i dont turn the central heating on till 4 pm most days.

but you can see what i was driving at--utility bills of £1000 a year are crippling to many household budgets.

Can you help us put our electric cost down? Hahaha..Lol...

Anyway, I do get what you mean. I know we are luckier than others but it doesn't necessarily mean we're rich.

Okay let's get back on the topic..

[grahamw48]

Gra....current Energy Efficiency Adviser...tight-fisted Yorkshireman...3 bed detached house...£750 a year for energy costs. 5 layers of clothes and still.

[raynaputi]

Gra....current Energy Efficiency Adviser...tight-fisted Yorkshireman...3 bed detached house...£750 a year for energy costs. 5 layers of clothes and still.

Hahahaha.. Keith can't stand being in a cold room, with his arthritis, he'll definitely complain!

[stevewool]

surely it is our own fault if we shower our new loves with everything they ask for.

I am very lucky i can afford most things but i dont, it has taken me a long time to get where i am and we do not go without, who wants the latest things when there is nothing wrong with what you have,

So lads you do not have to buy your next girl, just be yourself and if the girl finds you ok as yourself, you are both on to a winner.

[bigmac]

So lads you do not have to buy your next girl, just be yourself and if the girl finds you ok as yourself, you are both on to a winner,

yep--absolutely

[gWaPito]

The long time married on here have probably seen,heard,listened and more recently read most of the discussions/arguments on this thread.

Nothing wrong with the OP taking out 2 life insurance policies for his wife and child. I wish more older chaps marrying younger ladies would do the same, especially if they plan to live in the Philippines. Could tell you a few stories of older foreigners leaving their filipina wife's and kids in dire straits.

My wife has taken out 2 life insurance policies for me and i have 1 for her. We were discussing last week about me taking out another one to make it 2-2. That would mean we could take the 3 knives out from under the pillows or add another.

There's nothing wrong at all with takin out numerous life policies I'm worth more dead that alive. Always been lucky enough to afford quality life cover.

OP has stated he has little means yet his dear wife wants more cover....to hell with their immediate future. He's said she's only concerned with life after his death.

[gWaPito]

I have never been mad at you personally I guess? Hahaha. We are both sharing our own opinions and it doesnt mean we are attacking each other personally. Hahaha That's how intelligent people do. HAHHAA

Opinions alone aren't worth a hoot...opinons based on life experiences are ...

[gWaPito]

So lads you do not have to buy your next girl, just be yourself and if the girl finds you ok as yourself, you are both on to a winner,

yep--absolutely

When the monthly allowances start flying over it becomes a transaction

Just a thought

[stevewool]

if the monthly allowance becomes a transaction, and you both have not agreed this well you are in the wrong partnership, thats just my thought on it, a good partnership is talking and coming to the same thoughts together and being happy with what has been sorted, its called living day to day for many of us

[Terpe]

if the monthly allowance becomes a transaction, and you both have not agreed this well you are in the wrong partnership, thats just my thought on it, a good partnership is talking and coming to the same thoughts together and being happy with what has been sorted, its called living day to day for many of us

Exactly right again Steve....

"I'm OK, You're OK" is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. It is a practical guide to Transactional Analysis as a method for solving problems in life
Source:- Wikipedia

One of my study books from a previous life.

The ideal and optimum position is also "I'm OK, You're OK" (Happy)
Means...don't lay blame. That's not an issue - the important thing is how to move forward and sort things out.

Sorry for off topic

[stevewool]

- the important thing is how to move forward and sort things out.


this is what some people cannot do or just will not do, its either my way or no way, again just my thoughts no harm meant to others

[gWaPito]

I know that bigmac. But people have different circumstances and ways to manage the money they have. Just because one person isn't getting hungry like another person, doesn't mean he/she is not in the real world. We do have big bills as well (just our electric costs us £250 at least monthly and we managed to put it down compared last winter, but we don't use oil and gas), we just have to budget properly. I never saw UK as a land of plenty though. It's just another country with too many problems as well.

You handled that well Bigmac

I'd give you another rep but alas, I must keep sharing the love