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  1. #91
    Respected Member Moy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sentinent View Post
    This is a poster who understands the world.

    When a young Filipina meets an old western guy then romance becomes a transaction. Anyone who has at least a nodding acquaintance with reality will figure this out. But for those who believe they have found true love? - well there is none so blind as those who do not wish to see. Have a good day.
    Think you're one of those.. women who are like a computer virus... they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer your money, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile and hang your life! anyway I'm not here to judge anyone..just making life fun ...at times...
    A place for everything, everything in its place.


  2. #92
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Like anything in life, what you put in you may get out, but if you just want to take take and take some more ... well in the end you will get what you deserve

    True love well what is true love, if its being happy with what you have and the person you are with feels the same , well that could be it, but also remember nothing is gauranteed in life so live today, tomorrow will sort itself out


  3. #93
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Seems the Filipina female population is being written off on the strength of a few bad experiences. I can't be bothered looking up the statistics but I'm sure they would show divorce rates between Brits and Filipinas are below the average.

    I'll do my best not to fall flat on my face further down the line but if I do I'm glad I gave it a go.

    Because if she's not in love with me then she's one hell of a good actress.


  4. #94
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    I dont want to point the finger to this person or that person, but like you, if your partner shows you what you know is love, then these other folk may not have experienced it yet, or have been caught out again and again, and so on, but like kids in a sweet shop they cant give them up,


  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by sentinent View Post
    Do you need a picture?
    No idea what the hell you're on about.

    If you were trying to be clever then....yawwwwwwn.


  6. #96
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    In these sorts of topics you'll always encounter partisan motivated reasoning.

    It's a pity really.
    I can still recall a time when most forum members would focus on the aspect of help and support.

    Some folks would much rather support opinions that they would otherwise oppose in the absence of a personal experience influenced by personal judgement.

    I say that every successful relationship requires teamworking, shared understanding and compromise. It's for all couples to have honest discussion where divergence exits and come to agreement.
    Many years ago I doubt whether such important discussions took place prior to marriage.
    These days it's got to be a priority......especially for those who are second time around.

    I think the OP and his wife need to sit together and discuss financials. There really are two sides to each issue between couples.
    I strongly object to advice that the wife get immediately dumped. How about the welfare of the child.
    How about the family unit.

    Let's be more constructive than that.

    Most folks take their first steps in a search for love when quite young. Hoping to stay together.
    Doesn't always happen.
    If two people are lucky enough to find romance, true friends and soul-mates, I suggest it usually doesn't matter at which point in life they do so or from which background and culture they come from.

    I'd rather suggest it depends on whether you hold the Egalitarianism's view or the Traditionalists view.


  7. #97
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sentinent View Post
    This is a poster who understands the world.

    When a young Filipina meets an old western guy then romance becomes a transaction. Anyone who has at least a nodding acquaintance with reality will figure this out. But for those who believe they have found true love? - well there is none so blind as those who do not wish to see. Have a good day.
    May I ask, have you ever been in a relationship with somebody from the Philippines?


  8. #98
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmarco View Post
    Seems the Filipina female population is being written off on the strength of a few bad experiences. I can't be bothered looking up the statistics but I'm sure they would show divorce rates between Brits and Filipinas are below the average.
    I'll do my best not to fall flat on my face further down the line but if I do I'm glad I gave it a go.
    Because if she's not in love with me then she's one hell of a good actress.
    They say western/western marriages divorce rate 50%
    western/filipino marriages divorce rate 10%

    I can't remember where I've seen it but it certainly made my mind up where to look...


  9. #99
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post

    I strongly object to advice that wife get immediately dumped. How about the welfare of the child.
    How about the family unit.
    Yet again a good post and I agree that advising a man with a young child to dump the mother on the basis of a post on this forum is unwelcome. Any marriage but particularly one where there are young children involved is worth working on.


  10. #100
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terpe View Post
    In these sorts of topics you'll always encounter partisan motivated reasoning.

    It's a pity really.
    I can still recall a time when most forum members would focus on the aspect of help and support.

    Some folks would much rather support opinions that they would otherwise oppose in the absence of a personal experience influenced by personal judgement.

    I say that every successful relationship requires teamworking, shared understanding and compromise. It's for all couples to have honest discussion where divergence exits and come to agreement.
    Many years ago I doubt whether such important discussions took place prior to marriage.
    These days it's got to be a priority......especially for those who are second time around.

    I think the OP and his wife need to sit together and discuss financials. There really are two sides to each issue between couples.
    I strongly object to advice that wife get immediately dumped. How about the welfare of the child.
    How about the family unit.

    Lets be more constructive than that.

    Most folks take their first steps in a search for love when quite young. Hoping to stay together.
    Doesn't always happen.
    If two people are lucky enough to find romance, true friends and soul-mates, I suggest it usually doesn't matter at which point in life they do so or from which background and culture they come from.

    I'd rather suggest it depends on whether you hold the Egalitarianism's view or the Traditionalists view.
    My view exactly!

    I hate it when people jump into so much conclusions based on one or two posts, especially if they don't actually know the couple personally, and then compare it to their personal experiences when all of them have different personalities, circumstances, etc. Not every person and circumstances are the same.

    Most Filipinas here in the forum want to help the family back home, but it doesn't necessarily mean we are all alike and gold diggers because we happen to be married to a westerner. We have different ways of dealing things when it comes to money. Also, it's an insult to all couples here saying that just because the women are much younger than the men, that we only see money from our respective partners. Age is of no importance when you find someone you actually love. If you are concern of the age, then don't seek a younger Filipina and stick to that criteria. Yes, there are bad apples that we all know, but comparing it to the ones here who found their true love, I think you'll see plenty are successful.
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



  11. #101
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    Thanks Rayna.


  12. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jentobeharrison View Post
    Oh yeah. You should have looked for someone who can pay your hotel fees when you are here!
    Oh dear, nothing I said I hope

    Anyway..where was I ...


  13. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by sentinent View Post
    This is a poster who understands the world.

    When a young Filipina meets an old western guy then romance becomes a transaction. Anyone who has at least a nodding acquaintance with reality will figure this out. But for those who believe they have found true love? - well there are none so blind as those who do not wish to see. Have a good day.
    Just a pity I didn't hone up 8 years ago...would've saved me nearly £1/4 million and a bunch of heartache..Still, as the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained


  14. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moy View Post
    completely you got me wrong my dear amigos gwapos I'm not flirt, all I'm doing is pointing out your beautiful features
    I'm playing with you Moy

    Thanks for the compliment...I love you more


  15. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moy View Post
    You're one of those who think.. women are like a computer virus... they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer your money, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile and hang your life! anyway I'm not here to judge anyone..just making life fun ...at times...
    Very droll, Moy
    Worth a rep


  16. #106
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Hell of a Thread, keep it up!


  17. #107
    Respected Member Moy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    I'm playing with you Moy

    Thanks for the compliment...I love you more

    just always rem me You can close your eyes to things you don't
    want to see, but you can't close your heart to
    the things you don't want to feel."
    A place for everything, everything in its place.


  18. #108
    Respected Member Moy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    Very droll, Moy
    Worth a rep
    i got a secret my amigos gwaps.. to be honest I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
    A place for everything, everything in its place.


  19. #109
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    I am glad a few other posters have commented on the welfare of a child, I was starting to worry with my earlier post that I was a minority swimming against the tide.
    Most of us here, whether British or Filipina know how hard it can be sometimes bringing our two cultures together, I would be very surprised if anyone here could say hand on heart that they haven't had some cultural misunderstandings, and I would also be surprised if some hadn't had some financial misunderstandings, because I think that's very normal. What's not normal is when you can't actually talk about it openly with one an other and put the effort in to resolve the situation. Perhaps the OP's marriage is destined for the rocks, but at least we should be advising them of a way to at least try and fix it before its too late. We have seen from other posters the destruction that is caused when a marriage involving people from two sides of the world falls apart.... It's not nice.


  20. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    talking out your ,
    Thank you for raising the tone of this debate. It is always good when someone wades in with a useful comment such as this.
    "What if this is as good as it gets?"


  21. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    No idea what the hell you're on about.

    If you were trying to be clever then....yawwwwwwn.
    I will send someone around to explain it. Just get on with reading the Daily Sport.
    "What if this is as good as it gets?"


  22. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    My view exactly!

    Age is of no importance when you find someone you actually love.
    So you would marry an old western man with no assets? Come on, let's have a reality check here.
    "What if this is as good as it gets?"


  23. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by RickyR View Post
    I am glad a few other posters have commented on the welfare of a child, I was starting to worry with my earlier post that I was a minority swimming against the tide.
    Most of us here, whether British or Filipina know how hard it can be sometimes bringing our two cultures together, I would be very surprised if anyone here could say hand on heart that they haven't had some cultural misunderstandings, and I would also be surprised if some hadn't had some financial misunderstandings, because I think that's very normal. What's not normal is when you can't actually talk about it openly with one an other and put the effort in to resolve the situation. Perhaps the OP's marriage is destined for the rocks, but at least we should be advising them of a way to at least try and fix it before its too late. We have seen from other posters the destruction that is caused when a marriage involving people from two sides of the world falls apart.... It's not nice.
    I'm one of them Ricky I would've put up with Jane's nonsense forever if she hadn't walked out..It's what good parents do..the kids welfare above all else.

    All of us go through problems..we can't avoid that, it's how you deal with them. If there's love you find a way, if there's love you get stronger as time goes by, I know this to be fact...just like I did in my 25 year marriage...you find a way...but, when you've got someone continuously n the battle against you then you lose hope. I imagine the OP was in a long marriage b4 ....like most of us here in our age group.

    Culture does play a part..I don't care what anyone says...love and soul buddy stuff doesn't put food on the tables of folks struggling for money.

    Many here rubbishing these claims haven't got ILR or even reached first base yet claim to know it all ......now there's a point, where are all the long time married on here There used to be loads of them here posting on a regular basis years ago

    The alarms bells rung for me when the OP said he was already short of ready money yet his wife wants him to take out a 3rd life insurance policy along with sendin sendin sendin
    back to The Philippines..............Sounds like she's not making plans for their future at all.

    I pray to God the OP sorts this mess out for the greater good of his son...who didn't asked to be born!!!!


  24. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by marksroomspain View Post
    May I ask, have you ever been in a relationship with somebody from the Philippines?
    Yes. Next question?
    "What if this is as good as it gets?"


  25. #115
    Respected Member Jentobeharrison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    Oh dear, nothing I said I hope

    Anyway..where was I ...
    Hey I didn't mean it as a shout hahaha. Forgot to put haha! It was actually a joke, I was telling you to look for a woman who can pay your hotel fees when you're here in the Philippines because that's what I do to my fiancé.


  26. #116
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sentinent View Post
    So you would marry an old western man with no assets? Come on, let's have a reality check here.

    My husband is 15 years older than me and has no assets, i.e. house (renting from housing association), savings (money is enough for all our needs and need to work extra so we can go on holidays), and car (he has Motability from RAF). He has his own company to run his websites though and gets War pension and DLA. If he dies, the only thing I can get from him is the pension. His online business, I don't know how to run it and he says he will sell it when he can't do it anymore.

    Do I mind that? No. Does that worry me? No. I even told him I don't care about his pension because I can choose to go back in the Philippines where I have my own house and a bit of savings from working in the past. I also have my SSS pension which I'm still paying. My sister has a business which she has always been willing for us relatives to get involved in (she even asked my aunts who are OFWs to go home and just work with her). My siblings actually always tell me that I have more money when I was in the Philippines.

    You see, marriage and relationships doesn't have to be having plenty of money and assets. Finding someone you love is not always having the other person have money more than you need. As long as I'm not starving (fridge and cupboard is overflowing actually) and have a roof on top of me, plus a little bit of luxury sometimes (dining out, holiday, gadgets, heating in the house is 20C above the whole year, etc.), then who says being married to my older husband is doomed without him having the assets that the others here have? I met my husband and fell in love with him not because he may have money to give me and my family. As long as he is a good provider for the both of us then good. It's only a matter of being content on what you have and understanding all your and your partner's limits .
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



  27. #117
    Respected Member tiger31's Avatar
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    15 years older and no assets ? I think you should trade him in for a newer model Rayna


  28. #118
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiger31 View Post
    15 years older and no assets ? I think you should trade him in for a newer model Rayna
    Hahahahaha... Ssssshhhh...he's just beside me!
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



  29. #119
    Respected Member tiger31's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raynaputi View Post
    Hahahahaha... Ssssshhhh...he's just beside me!
    lol he,s feeling insecure now ah bless him hahaha


  30. #120
    Admin's Assistant ^_^ raynaputi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiger31 View Post
    lol hes feeling insecure now ah bless him hahaha
    Hahahaha...I don't think Keith has ever been insecure! He doesn't care whatever others are saying about him.
    -=rayna.keith=-
    ...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...



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