''Why do so many men report bad Filipina dating/marrying experiences?''

[Arthur Little]

... have any members married a Filipina who never sends money on a monthly basis to her family?

Yes ... me!

But then ... ... I guess we're fortunate, in that, all 5 of Myrna's siblings are - and always have been - fully self~supporting.

[Jentobeharrison]

She had enough of waiting today, and left.
I just couldnt quite do it, I'm not 100%. Not yet.
I know some will say that I should know after this time. But a year ago, there were times I found it very hard to believe we could be happy together. I certainly feel a lot more confident that we could be happy and okay, not quite there yet.....after no contact with her perhaps things will be clearer in my mind.

I can probably say that your woman wanted assurance, and was also under pressure of what she's been seeing or probably people kept on asking or already judging your relationship, since you are in long distance relationship, waiting for the right time is very not ideal but I will say that you made the right decision to know yourself what you really want first and not went to the flow of pressure. I hope you're not feeling bad, you just made it for yourself and I will not judge that as selfishness.

[Jentobeharrison]

Hi all, I am new on this forum but I have been an expatriate living in French Guyana Chad and France over the last 20 years and working in many other countries, I in fact only ever go back to London my home town for Christmas and such events, so just to add my tuppence to this interesting thread being scammed, screwed, heartbroken etc be it deliberately or not is honestly not a Filipino patented thing it happens as much in England as anywhere else, In my experience in any country if you flash your money around and put yourself on a higher pedestal then you can expect to be the attention of less than honorable intentioned individuals be it from women or everyday people that you may come across.

It's not because you are financially able to retire or move to a tropical paradise such as the Philippines and live the dream that you should leave all common sense fly out the door and again if you have your brain in your pants and use your wallet as muscle it is a guaranteed recipe for disaster no matter what country you live in.

That's the main thing, but some cannot see that and did not consider it as a main issue where they just tagged filipinas with it, well I can also admit that I am aware with those scams and still hope that westerners won't generalise it.

[grahamw48]

I agree Jen.

..and good post Nigel !

[joebloggs]

I agree but, you can't put all the failures down to lack of homework.

''These include the fabrication of ‘domestic violence’ by the Filipina against her sponsor in order to obtain permanent residence to have her sponsor removed from his home (at least in the United Kingdom)''

I thought this was a rare when this happened to me. In fact it's not. My solicitor said today...'' Mark, we are getting people just like you coming to us every week''

I only come across this news item yesterday morning when somebody else mentioned that it had happened to them. This can happen to the best of us.

of course a number of women could try and use DV to get ILR, but then surely its easier for her to stay married for 5yrs and get ILR , unless there really is DV going on

also the HO want evidence of DV

[gWaPito]

Very interesting thread, by the way, have any members married a Filipina who never sends money on a monthly basis to her family?

We never sent on a monthly basis Michael. .The wife was being touched every now and then out of the blue.

I remember one occasion the mother in law said she needed rotting teeth removing etc. Of course, we wasn't going to let that situation continue so funds was sent for extraction and denture replacement.

That was in a November.

Then Christmas came. .as always, I sent money under my own steam without prompt.

It came to light in the February the urgently required money sent for the teeth extraction and replacement was spent elsewhere.

Wife didn't have a problem with that so, we just picked some more off the money tree

[gWaPito]

of course a number of women could try and use DV to get ILR, but then surely its easier for her to stay married for 5yrs and get ILR , unless there really is DV going on

also the HO want evidence of DV

No they didn't. ..no evidence was asked or provided. They took her word. As soon as one night is spent in a refuge, she's in.

The case worker didn't make life easy for her while in there. ..They know who's telling lies. Im afraid an abused battered woman have a certain something about them. They can not be thrown out. .normally the fakes leave of their own accord. They underestimated my wife. She's always been strong and confident.


The Judge threw the case out.

The council was still committed to rehousing no matter what the legal findings are.

Don't know what you are insinuating Joe . Past wives were willing to stand up for me in court. They included my grown up kids and my neighbours. I'm no brute so you can clear that nonsense from your head.

It was nothing to do with ILR or even British Citizenship. It was pure and simply to get rehoused. She didn't want me near my boys ..she didn't want my boys near my family. I was now dispensable, redundant to her needs.

If I'd left my house which is what she wanted..( gave me 3 months of hell ) then she would of copped the lot.

[marksroomspain]

I do not regularly send money to the Philippines. It is not because my family is financially well off but because I am on part-time employment and I do not want to ask money from my husband. We never know what lies ahead in the future and I do not want to hear any how he helped my family and how many barrels of lotions and perfumes he has given them.

Fair comment, until my wife found work I gave her a monthly allowance which I told her she was free to do what she wanted with so she sent so much home and used the rest for herself.

Now she's working I think she finally feels more proud that she can support them also our family, every penny counts.

[marksroomspain]

Nothing wrong with that Mark. I wish I cld echo the same arrangement..Unfortunately I can't. You've been lucky. To be fair, most folks here are in fresh relationships..only the test of time will tell.

She is a good woman Mark, we work well together..

[joebloggs]

No they didn't. ..no evidence was asked or provided. They took her word. As soon as one night is spent in a refuge, she's in.

The case worker didn't make life easy for her while in there. ..They know who's telling lies. Im afraid an abused battered woman have a certain something about them. They cannot be thrown out. .normally the fakes leave of their own accord. They underestimated my wife. She's always been strong and confident.


The Judge threw the case out.

The council was still committed to rehousing no matter what the legal findings are.

Don't know what you are insinuating Joe . Past wives were willing to stand up for me in court. They included my grown up kids and my neighbours. I'm no brute so you can clear that nonsense from your head.

It was nothing to do with ILR or even British Citizenship. It was pure and simply to get rehoused. She didn't want me near my boys ..she didn't want my boys near my family. I was now dispensable, redundant to her needs.

If I'd left my house which is what she wanted..( gave me 3 months of hell ) then she would of copped the lot.

sorry i was talking in general about DV and not about you,

EVIDENCE NEEDED FOR THE APPLICATION
http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/si...settlement.pdf


but since you've posted this

No they didn't. ..no evidence was asked or provided. They took her word. As soon as one night is spent in a refuge, she's in.

who are they ? UKBA have given your wife ILR ?

councils have a legal obligation to house parents with children.

as for

Don't know what you are insinuating Joe

like i said i was talking in general, of course some women will claim DV to try and stay in the UK, I've read many posts in the past on other forums about this, but then how many women haven't reported DV and put up with it for whatever reasons , anyone putting ideas in your head is you gWapito, i don't know about your personal circumstances, its not my business nor do i want it to be, so tell me why you think i was talking about you

[gWaPito]

You quoted my post. I stated that the bolded out bits happened to me.

'They' The local housing authority. She's as British as you and I Joe. She has British passport.

Yes, they have a responsibility to house homeless mothers and children. Unfortunately Joe it was on the basis of lies.

8 months ago she walked out of a good loving family home taking my babies with her.

[stevewool]

when my ex walked into a womans shelter after we had separated years before, i was not allowed to know where my daughter was living and was not allowed to collect her from there even though the ex went in there from another partner she was living with, if the man had done something wrong then so be it, but its very hard proving you are the innocent partner in any of this

[joebloggs]

You quoted my post. I stated that the bolded out bits happened to me.

'They' The local housing authority. She's as British as you and I Joe. She has British passport.

Yes, they have a responsibility to house homeless mothers and children. Unfortunately Joe it was on the basis of lies.

8 months ago she walked out of a good loving family home taking my babies with her.

sorry gWapito, i forgot she has a British passport , well then the council will have a legal obligation to house them.

i'm sorry about your kids, you're probably the same as me, little joe means everything to me and i cant imagine not seeing him 24/7

[grahamw48]

A lot of emotional stuff here guys...been through the same thing myself.

Let's not wind each other up, eh. It's not nice...especially when only the people involved know the true situation.

[stevewool]

A lot of emotional stuff here guys...been through the same thing myself.

Let's not wind each other up, eh. It's not nice...especially when only the people involved know the true situation.

wise words Graham

[gWaPito]

A lot of emotional stuff here guys...been through the same thing myself.

Let's not wind each other up, eh. It's not nice...especially when only the people involved know the true situation.

Cheers Graham That's what I thought Joe was on

I'd obviously got hold of the wrong end of the stick

It's a good job I'm at work!

[gWaPito]

when my ex walked into a womans shelter after we had separated years before, i was not allowed to know where my daughter was living and was not allowed to collect her from there even though the ex went in there from another partner she was living with, if the man had done something wrong then so be it, but its very hard proving you are the innocent partner in any of this

It was the same for me Steve. .when she blagged her way into that refuge I wasn't allowed anywhere near....wasn't allowed to see my boys. ..wasn't allowed to even try and find them.

It's different now. .she's been rehoused. I have legal rights to know where my boys are living. Unfortunately she's not going to tell me. The county court is going to have to extract it. Once again

[gWaPito]

sorry gWapito, i forgot she has a British passport , well then the council will have a legal obligation to house them.

i'm sorry about your kids, you're probably the same as me, little joe means everything to me and i cant imagine not seeing him 24/7

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

[Michael Parnham]

Yes ... me!

But then ... ... I guess we're fortunate, in that, all 5 of Myrna's siblings are - and always have been - fully self~supporting.

Yes Arthur, that's the same as Maritess family, they are all working in decent jobs, but having said that we don't mind helping out of our savings in an emergency by contributing if it is required!

[gWaPito]

Just received my first negative rep ..cheers. Unfortunately they left no calling card.

[joebloggs]

Cheers Graham That's what I thought Joe was on

I'd obviously got hold of the wrong end of the stick

It's a good job I'm at work!

I'm not winding anyone up, its not something to laugh about

good luck with seeing your kids gWaPito, every father should have that right

[joebloggs]

Just received my first negative rep ..cheers. Unfortunately they left no calling card.

before you say anything, it wasn't me, I've never neg repped anyone on here

[gWaPito]

before you say anything, it wasn't me, I've never neg repped anyone on here

Hey! Don't be silly I'd forgotten about it until you mentioned it.

I've got a lot more serious things going on in my life without worrying about trivialities like negative rep. In fact it made me laugh. Nobody cared enough b4. .I'm grateful
I expect it was my darling wife anyway

[gWaPito]

I'm not winding anyone up, its not something to laugh about

good luck with seeing your kids gWaPito, every father should have that right

Every Monday and Tuesday Joe. ..I get them one night per week. I've got more contact with them now than I've ever done. They know their Nan, elder brother and sister. They've a rounded life. I wouldn't change it back to the nightmare. It's the best thing for the boys.

[HACHE]

I can probably say that your woman wanted assurance, and was also under pressure of what she's been seeing or probably people kept on asking or already judging your relationship, since you are in long distance relationship, waiting for the right time is very not ideal but I will say that you made the right decision to know yourself what you really want first and not went to the flow of pressure. I hope you're not feeling bad, you just made it for yourself and I will not judge that as selfishness.

Thanks, that's right, I just don't want to go with the flow of pressure, and want to know its right for me, not just convenient for someone else. But, I do feel bad for her, I know how hard things are. But again, I mustn't let sympathy be a reason for ignoring my feelings. If I did allow sympathy to get the better of me, I would one day end up being full of resentment...

[marksroomspain]

This thread has become all mixed up

[gWaPito]

This thread has become all mixed up

Just a bit Mark
We'll blame Joe

[grahamw48]

Sipping Tanduay, listening to LOUD reggae music, dancing, and dreaming of my beautiful girl. Life is ok.

[gWaPito]

[bigmarco]

Wow that was an interesting read some interesting points.
I think some people don't understand the closeness of the Filipino family. We marry these lovely ladies and expect them to give up their life and family and travel half way across the world to be with us. Surely it's not unreasonable for them to want to help their family or "share their blessings" as my wife says.
I have a 93yo mother who I would do anything for. Fortunately she doesn't need money so I am able to give her something far more valuable to her, my time. If she needed money I would give it as I would to any of my family if they were in desperate need. My wife actually looks forward to the time we spend with my mum and to see her doing a few chores or massaging my mums legs is to understand that my wife considers she married into our family. You can see in my mums face the delight she gets whenever we visit.
Which brings us to the lovely Filipino family that I married into. Sadly we are unable to give them as much of our time as we would like but fortunately we are able to help in other ways. My wife works hard and earns a good wage and I am fortunate that as both my girls are now working I have more disposable income than I've had for a long time. So we send a monthly allowance which includes the cost of schooling 2 boys within the house and they also understand that money is no object in the event of a medical emergency. We also have a few people that we help out occasionally but I must say this is more my doing than my wifes.
Marriage is about partnership it's about our wives accepting our values and in turn we have to accept theirs and if we can't do that then there are bound to be problems.
I'm not a religious person in any way but I always feel good about helping others out and besides you may as well spend it because you cant take it with you