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  1. #1
    Respected Member eddiek's Avatar
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    who here is in a long distance relationship?

    hey gang,

    would just like to know if there are many out there in a long distance relationship?

    If so, just add some comments as follows:

    how long you are apart

    how you guys get by
    how you are finding it

    how often ye talk
    what methods of communication ye use

    when you get to meet your partner again

    here's my story

    I said goodbye to my love in September last year

    She is currently studying for IELTS and looking to re-apply as a nurse

    We speak many times throughout the day, luckily she has mobile data, and tethers her internet to her laptop whenever we need to use a proper laptop based cam.

    We use the following modes of communication(in order of use):

    whatsapp (65%)
    viber (15%)
    viber desktop (video function mainly used here) (10)
    facebook messenger (5%)
    skype (5%)

    I go over in April to see her

    I'm finding it OK, our time apart has confirmed to be we are to be, I miss and love her more today than ever before..

    ed


  2. #2
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    me


  3. #3
    Respected Member lordna's Avatar
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    A lot of us were in a LDR in the past!


  4. #4
    Respected Member les_taxi's Avatar
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    Was once but not now


  5. #5
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    Me....2 years now. Just had my second holiday in the Phils with my lady.


  6. #6
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    Me....2 years now. Just had my second holiday in the Phils with my lady.
    Any plan yet Graham?


  7. #7
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    Not rushing into anything is my plan.

    I'm hoping to retire there, but a bit early yet.

    Mercedes won't be coming here to this miserable place.


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by eddiek View Post
    hey gang,

    would just like to know if there is many out ther ein a long distance relationship?
    You'll find almost everyone here is, or has been in that LDR.

    Some for a very long time even after marriage.


  9. #9
    Respected Member cheekee's Avatar
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    Me.

    I'm just finished my second visit to Cebu.

    Just officially engaged now.

    It's hard but we know it's what we want.

    We talk everyday on Skype/Google Talk/WhatsApp.


  10. #10
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    I am still tying to find that special woman

    I am in no rush and I have a strict criteria that must be met.
    Gold diggers and freelancers are weeded out at an early stage

    Hissy fits and temper tantrums are not tolerated

    I am willing to support my Girlfriend but i am not so keen on supporting the extended family back in the province

    I make that clear from day 1 diba

    Yahoo Messenger and Viber


  11. #11
    Respected Member stevie c's Avatar
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    I was up until 3 & half years ago but thankfully my wife joined me here in the uk in 2010

    I certainly wouldn't like to be going through the visa process now




    AN HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE


  12. #12
    Respected Member Slip's Avatar
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    Yes have been for almost 2 years.


  13. #13
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    I am willing to support my Girlfriend but i am not so keen on supporting the extended family back in the province

    hmmm funny you should say that.

    i first met mine here in the uk about 28 months ago--she was on a student visa. flew home in aug 2012. somehow managed to get a visit visa --came back here in july 2013: returned to filis a month ago.

    much water--& under the bridge in that time.

    obviously she wasnt allowed to work during her stay with me--so guess who supported her kids back home. i think the words "thin end " and "wedge" come to mind.

    communication is scant--no internet where she lives--and not into endless text chatter or expensive phone calls.


  14. #14
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    like many have siad before me, most of us started the same way as you,
    If i was to go through it all again i would not bother about bringing her here but would rather save hard for me to go there


  15. #15
    Respected Member eddiek's Avatar
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    wow, i thought I was the only one!

    interesting to hear the different experience, comments and advice given by everyone.

    but the one i dont understand is where there is a LDR still taking place - even after the marriage, can someone please explain this situation.

    thanks


  16. #16
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    that only works if they DONT want to settle in this country


  17. #17
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    plus the cost of trying to get your partner here with you, just because you fall in love with that special person and marry her, sometimes you just cannot afford to bring them here, hard yes and i have no idea how some people manage to do that


  18. #18
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    i sold my house to free up the capital. only way possible.


  19. #19
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    end of the day, its all worth it, thats what i say


  20. #20
    Respected Member elve_page's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    Not rushing into anything is my plan.

    I'm hoping to retire there, but a bit early yet.

    Mercedes won't be coming here to this miserable place.

    You need to be hurry Graham, Mercedes is getting out of patience waiting for you to marry her. Hehehe. And im sure mercedes love to come here in UK.


  21. #21
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    Not rushing into anything is my plan.

    I'm hoping to retire there, but a bit early yet.

    Mercedes won't be coming here to this miserable place.
    I'm very surprised one says that UK is a miserable place Graham, Maritess misses her family but she loves it here because she doesn't get any criticism about the colour of her skin!


  22. #22
    Respected Member marksroomspain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eddiek View Post
    wow, i thought I was the only one!

    interesting to hear the different experience, comments and advice given by everyone.

    but the one i dont understand is where there is a LDR still taking place - even after the marriage, can someone please explain this situation.

    thanks
    The way I see is that even after marriage your loved one simply can't jump on a plane and join you no no.

    You have to go through the tortuous process of the visa application.

    I married my wife in July 2012 and after different countries we decided to settle in I brought her to the UK after a lot of help from my good friends on here.

    It was finally in the December I brought my beloved wife here and 34 weeks pregnant to boot so yes another one here been in a LDR, god would I go through the stress again if I could go back in time mmm.......

    With this lady I am with now a definite YES...


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by elve_page View Post
    You need to be hurry Graham, Mercedes is getting out of patience waiting for you to marry her. Hehehe. And im sure mercedes love to come here in UK.
    I know you're just joking with me ...but actually, you couldn't be more wrong.


  24. #24
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevie c View Post

    I certainly wouldn't like to be going through the visa process now


    NOR me! ... I most definitely would NOT!

    It was bad enough before November 2010. But NOW ... ... !


  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by London_Manila View Post
    I am still tying to find that special woman

    I am in no rush and I have a strict criteria that must be met.
    Gold diggers and freelancers are weeded out at an early stage

    Hissy fits and temper tantrums are not tolerated

    I am willing to support my Girlfriend but i am not so keen on supporting the extended family back in the province

    I make that clear from day 1 diba

    Yahoo Messenger and Viber
    We could be twins
    I've had my fill of those lunatics as well

    The only difference being..My girlfriend will be self suffcient and I definitely won't be supporting the clan back home

    A tall order some may think...Think again, they are out there.


  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    I know you're just joking with me ...but actually, you couldn't be more wrong.
    Then she obviously loves you Graham.


  27. #27
    Respected Member Jentobeharrison's Avatar
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    Read this thread and made me interested in answering this!

    Been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now, he went here twice (May and November 2013). He went back to his mum last Feb 2013 so he can rent out his aparment for a year because it was the easiest way to save for his trips here. Now he cannot go here anymore as he just went back to his apartment so it is quite impossible for him to save.

    My first visa (marriage visit visa) was denied and currently collating documents for fiancee visa because now, we are just relying (visa expenses) to what he have saved for a year. If this fiancee visa will be denied, we have no choice but I guess to end our relationship :( The first denied visa was quite depressing how much more with the second one which is really expensive and stressful :( and we will no longer have any way to save more for visa application again, it is like do or die now. Hahaha

    Since the day we met until now, we never miss a day not talking to each other even if we are at work. Whatsapp, Viber, Skype, Facebook, Twitter. I am really thankful that these apps are very useful!

    Long distance relationship must have a goal so both of you have something to look forward to, I swear you won't notice the time. :


  28. #28
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    Well here's my take on LDRs...for what it's worth.

    If a man is motivated enough and genuinely puts his relationship with his chosen lady before all else, then he can and will move mountains to 'make it happen'.

    Then there are the 'daydreamers' (on both sides).

    If either or both partners are not prepared to be flexible, and willing to make certain sacrifices, then I'm afraid the relationship is likely to fail.

    A LDR is different, and things can't be expected to work like clockwork, according to some perfect plan. Usually a real EFFORT has to be made, and reality faced.

    Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.

    Many many good times and a few bad, but never a dull moment. Living life, taking a few risks.

    LDRs are not for 'normal' people. They are for couples who are genuinely in love, and who are prepared to go the extra mile to be together.

    Daydreamers...forget it, and move along before someone gets hurt.


  29. #29
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    well said Graham,


  30. #30
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    Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.


    ive just had an hour on FBook with my fiancee. the last 4 weeks have flown by --for me. the lease on my flat is up in may--i could be tempted to but my junk into storage and fly out there for a while. it would save me about 750 a month in rent and c-tax--plus utilities. i bet that would go a lot further out there

    has anyone got a ball park figure for furniture storage costs ? or is it easier just to stick the lot in an auction room ?


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