Should Smacking Children Be Illegal?

[gWaPito]

My childhood was spent with a violent father.
Beatings for any perceived mistake was commonplace.

Despite that......from my own frame-of-reference.... beatings, slaps, smacks etc were NEVER a deterrent. Period

Children need good parenting not good hidings.

To say "it never did me any harm" is neither true nor good reason. IMHO

I don't agree

It's true in my elder siblings case. It worked in schools as well. ...teachers were on the whole respected.
Authority was respected.

None of that now.

[les_taxi]

Well said Gwapito, you cant say a beating is a slap - lumping them all together is misrepresenting the point

[Terpe]

Well said Gwapito, you cant say a beating is a slap - lumping them all together is misrepresenting the point

The question is where and how do you make the definition?

My belief is that it just wasn't possible that's why zero tolerance.

Even without defining 'slap'....is there a difference between a 'slap' on the hand, leg, face ear etc

[Terpe]

.I don't agree

What don't you agree ??

Read what I posted........it was from my own frame of reference. Means I shared my experience.
There's nothing to agree or disagree.....

[joebloggs]

To say "it never did me any harm" is neither true nor good reason. IMHO

and it never did you good if your beating your kids up

[Terpe]

and it never did you good if your beating your kids up

Seems to be my turn in the barrel at the mo

What I said was "To say it never did me any harm is neither true nor good reason. IMHO"

Means it DID do me harm.
Means there's no reason AT ALL to inflict violence.

And basically I DO believe that such behaviour often shows itself later with the family environment......but it's not a done deal to be so by any means.

I'll duck out of this thread.

[joebloggs]

Well said Gwapito,you cant say a beating is a slap - lumping them all together is misrepresenting the point

so what is ok, a slap, a cane or slipper, a punch ?

it's a sad society that punishes and teaches kids violence is ok, especially when carried out by your parents and teachers, those that are supposed to protect you

when i was about 12, it was the school lunch break, me and a few friends had walked to the local shops, later on i got called to go to the headmasters office, sat there were my friends, no idea why we had been called there, next thing we all had the cane whacked across our fingers, the crime, we had walked across someone lawn ,

i had never been in trouble b4, i don't remember what happened next but i was taken home, i cant remember if my mom did anything about it as my dad had died the year b4.

but if that happened today to little joe, well i would take legal proceedings against the headmaster, the school and local authority, i wouldn't stop til he was sacked.

violence of any sort has no place in a modern society.

[joebloggs]

Seems to be my turn in the barrel at the mo

What I said was "To say it never did me any harm is neither true nor good reason. IMHO"

Means it DID do me harm.
Means there's no reason AT ALL to inflict violence.

And basically I DO believe that such behaviour often shows itself later with the family environment......but it's not a done deal to be so by any means.

I'll duck out of this thread.

you get me wrong peter, my point was its a vicious cycle, from parent to child, and to their children.

you owe your kids everything

[bigmarco]

Children need good parenting not good hidings.

To say "it never did me any harm" is neither true nor good reason. IMHO

I agree.
Resorting to violence is IMO an admission of failure in both parenting and teaching skills.

It cannot be justified because it was done to us. Personally never really understand how people can hit someone they are supposed to love.

[les_taxi]

What a load of tosh on here You are all failing to distinguish between a beating and a little slap on the legs.

This country is turning into a namby pampy apologistic pile of crap.

I'm sure you will object to conkers without goggles, no snowballs as it's dangerous etc etc.

Totally disagree with the exaggerated comments on this post, beating is a no no agreed, but little slap on legs - blimey!

Where does a slap become a beating you say? Well thats self explanatory.

So by the same theory I'm as dunk after 1 pint as 12 as it's all the same

[Terpe]

What a load of tosh on here You are all failing to distinguish between a beating and a little slap on the legs.

This country is turning into a namby pamby apologistic pile of crap.

I'm sure you will object to conkers without goggles, no snowballs as it's dangerous etc etc.

Totally disagree with the exaggerated comments on this post, beating is a no no agreed but little slap on legs - blimey!

Where does a slap become a beating you say? Well thats self explanatory.

So by the same theory I'm as dunk after 1 pint as 12 as it's all the same

Come on then Les what is it in your opinion that can be defined as OK ??

Forget beatings etc lets just focus on the word 'slap'.

1. What do YOU define as slap
2. Where on the body would you not allow it.

Your analagy with being drunk is a good one.............nobody could define "drunk" except for agreeing on a blood level reading. Whether the individual or anyone else agreed the person was drunk or not doesn't matter. In law if the blood/alcohol reading is at or above a certain level you're legally drunk. Period
In law no such thing as just a little bit drunk not really drunk

With a slap how can you define a level of force? How can it be measured? It can't.

One mans slap is another's thumping.
That's my opinion. I see plenty of little kids getting 'slapped' in the town. It's violence. Period. Simple because the parents are stressed and refuse to provide an explanation to the child.

So whats a little slap?
Whats a big slap?

Are you say a little slap is OK but a big slap is not?

[joebloggs]

What a load of tosh on here You are all failing to distinguish between a beating and a little slap on the legs.

This country is turning into a namby pampy apologistic pile of crap.

I'm sure you will object to conkers without goggles,no snowballs as it's dangerous etc etc.

Totally disagree with the exaggerated comments on this post, beating is a no no agreed but little slap on legs - blimey!

Where does a slap become a beating you say? Well thats self explanatory.

So by the same theory I'm as dunk after 1 pint as 12 as it's all the same

do you have a slap scale ?
i mean does the kid have to cry, surely if its a deterrent the child will need to feel pain ?
do you keep slapping with heavier slaps until the child cries or if they don't its not a deterrent

[raynaputi]

I remember when I was in first year highschool. My teacher clearly prohibited us swearing, whether in front of her or not. There will be a rotation of who will be listing the names of students in the class swearing. And by homeroom subject time, this will be given to our teacher. What she did was not hit my classmates. She rubbed a teaspoon of salt to the students' tongues. My classmates said it didn't hurt, but what made them stop swearing was the fact that after my teacher did the first student, she will go rubbed salt on another student's tongue without washing her hand. The yucky scene stopped my classmates from swearing, at least during our highschool years.

[Terpe]

In addition to a slap scale we would also need to apply an age scale.
Surely a little slap should not be applied to a baby?
Surely a little slap would have no impact on a 13 year old?

[grahamw48]

By the time my brother and I were in our teens (dad was away at sea), my mum had to resort to a broom handle or similar to achieve the desired effect.

Yes, it stung for a while, but we used to laugh about it later....in fact at the time, seeing her angry face. Nervous tension I suppose.

All a matter of degree.

The next day we'd be on the Rugby field getting booted in the head.

[les_taxi]

In addition to a slap scale we would also need to apply an age scale.
Surely a little slap should not be applied to a baby?
Surely a little slap would have no impact on a 13 year old?

Yer posts get dafter and more pedantic as you go-on,yes I'm all for kicking the crap out of babies too-lets stick their dummies in tabasco.

I will leave this subject because I'm wasting my time with reading such ridiculous comments

[grahamw48]

Come on guys.

It's the season of goodwill.


Heck, even I've just been next door, fixing my Mormon neighbour's garage door for him.

[les_taxi]

I don't want to fall out with anyone so best I resist comments on this subject,my opinion is clear

[grahamw48]

Haven't you got a taxi to drive ?

...as I used to say to one of my claimants at the dole office.

[gWaPito]

Yer posts get dafter and more pedantic as you go-on, yes I'm all for kicking the crap out of babies too - lets stick their dummies in tabasco.

I will leave this subject because I'm wasting my time with reading such ridiculous comments

You've got a point. We all know what a slap is we all know what a reprimand is. ..We are also all too well aware what a beating. You don't need to waste hours on end trying to define the difference. .Goodness me

What i want to know is. ..is there any more like Rayna left in the Philippines? ???

[Terpe]

Yer posts get dafter and more pedantic as you go-on, yes I'm all for kicking the crap out of babies too - lets stick their dummies in tabasco.

I will leave this subject because I'm wasting my time with reading such ridiculous comments

I thought it was thread prompting discussion. I try to avoid those topics that usually lead to members getting personal.

I was under the impression a forum discussion was just that a discussion of points.

Why are you getting personal?

If the law is specific why not discuss it........

[sentinent]

My siblings and I were hit with belts and some other things when we were kids (and I don't know any of my friends who were not hit by their parents when they were kids), usually when all of us were fighting with each other or were reasoning out to my parents and shouting at them when we did something wrong. There were even times that my dad tied my brothers on each end of the bed because they won't stop fighting.



Once I tried puffing a cigarette when I was in gradeschool and a neighbour saw me and told my mum. When I got home, my mum was so mad and threw a slippers on me and it went straight to my eye. I was grounded and locked in the room the rest of the day until some relatives visited us that night. Hahaha.. But that from that moment, I got scared of trying things that I know will be prohibited.

My siblings and I all respect and have high regards of my parents, grandparents, and other relatives older than us. You will never hear us swearing in front of them. None of us got spoiled or became a brat. Not one of us had a rebellious life. But I see the difference with my two nephews (aged 8 and 4) who never got the spank or been told off when they do nasty things, especially the 4 yr.old. We just can't control him and he always get what he likes.

A sensible post I think. This poster has more that a passing acquaintance with reality. Everyone needs boundaries. Is there anything worse than a mardy and selfish child who knows that whatever they say or do they will not get a smack? I think a child needs to appreciate from a very young age that anti-social actions have consequences.

[Arthur Little]

Folks ... it has to be said, with Les. There IS a difference - a HUGE difference - between a skelp reasonably~administered by a parent's hand (or slipper) on a child's bare legs and/or buttocks AND the sheer brutality involved in the use of clenched fists, "shod" feet or hard stick, for example. Punching, kicking or using any blunt instrument as a means of disciplining youngsters is, at best, cowardly - at worst, downright sadistic - and will, ultimately, defeat the whole purpose of the exercise.

Notice I mentioned the [least harmful] sites for the slap ... it should NOT be inflicted anywhere above the lower body area(s) and most certainly NEVER on - or near - the head ... since so-doing would, by definition, be tantamount to an actual beating - with potentially tragic - even lethal - consequences were it carried out indiscriminately during a fit of anger.

[KeithD]

You can't define a slap, the same way as you cannot define how much force a police officer can use in an arrest, nor a home owner on a burglar. It all depends on the circumstances, who is prosecuting and the judge. But their are plenty of lines drawn in law that have grey areas.

Who started this bloody debate?

[Michael Parnham]

Strong words from my father was the best deterrent in my case. I remember once, he shouted upstairs to get me out of bed so that I was not late for school and five minutes later he came upstairs and poured half a bucket of water on me also I had to sleep on a wet mattress for a week after that, I never stepped out of line ever again!

[KeithD]

.... and poured half a bucket of water on me also I had to sleep on a wet mattress for a week after that, I never stepped out of line ever again!

Who says water boarding doesn't work?

[sars_notd_virus]

As a parent I believe there is no such thing as ''smart parenting '' !!..there is no perfect parent in this world as there is no perfect child...our children when they were born have got a brain of their own, even though we might believe we are raising them good, the aspects of the environment and culture can change or affect their behaviours....So it is more important to praise them when they are good than to slap them when they are bad.

[grahamw48]

I agree....and by setting a good example for them.

...Having said that, I've always warned my boy about turning out like me, with which I'm happy to say, he always agreed.

[stevewool]

one of the problems i had a young father at work was when i got home from work my then wife would flip out on what the kids have been up to, like the saying wait till your father gets home, its too late saying something a few hours later when the kids have no idea what i was on about,

Like i said before, we are all adults and most have been through s--- to get here, just be nice and try to tell the young what is right and what is wrong,

My grandson who is 3 is a clever boy but does get upset if his mum says she is going to tell grandad if hes been naughty, we talk about it and hug and a kiss after the tears, usually works for a few minutes then hes back to his ways

[SimonH]

The undebatable debate.


As far as the scale thing is concerned, then as a last resort my child will get a controlled and measured smack on the back of the legs or backside (number 1 on the scale). Anyone else else thinking they have the right to administer such a punishment will get a beating (number 10 on the scale).