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31st October 2013 #31
my mom had been married 3 times and widowed 3 times
her first husband died of cancer at the age of 24 then my dad died of a heart attack at 58 and my step-dad died at 71 on my moms birthday
shes been thru some really difficult times
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31st October 2013 #32
My goodness, how terrible, Joe, I can't begin to imagine how this has affected her life, god bless her
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31st October 2013 #33
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I wouldn't say ridiculous....We all seemed to have that same, post war ration book, scrawny look about us....I was looking at school pics a while back....we all looked related!!!!...all 30 of us
That North African beach could well of been Weymouth Rosie ...such was the lack of development on that part of the South coast in the 60s
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31st October 2013 #34
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31st October 2013 #35
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31st October 2013 #36
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I know I'm a Conservative at heart ...it doesn't mean I don't have one
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31st October 2013 #37
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31st October 2013 #38
I became a widower in 2002 after my wife died in 2002 after being very ill for about 3 years with Breast cancer. During this time and after i looked after my 3 kids the youngest of which was only 7 when she died on his birthday. I chose to take redundancy in order to continue to look after my kids and help them get over it. My eldest daughter was 15 at the time and after the death of her mother life became hell for all of us in different ways you could never imagine.
My decision NOT to work at the time wasn't taken lightly, we didnt have much money but at least i was there when needed. It was the right decision at the time although also financial suicide.
Things don't suddenly improve after someone in a family dies, the ripples from that stone dropping in water continue for years and years. Eventually i managed to do part time low paid work again and then work full time again but NOT doing the work or getting the money i was used to. I now earn less than half what i used to with little prospect of ever earning a decent salary again due to my age.
That maybe illustrates how devastating a family death can be years after without even going into how it still affects my children now in some way. Without welfare payouts we would have been in an even more difficult situation at a time, as a family, we were at our absolute lowest. Please don't underestimate how devastating something like this can be both at the time and later. Making it even more difficult for families in such difficult circumstances by making it impossible to get financial help is not the right way to go. Several times when i wasn't earning, i had to travel miles just to be interviewed by various "experts" to make sure i wasn't faking any claims and i can assure you they don't make it easy.
Thankfully all of us in my family are experiencing happy times again, obviously i remarried but even that was met with some suspicions by my children initially. Without the state help maybe myself and my children wouldn't of made it. Having money worries at times when your at your lowest can only make matters even worse. It was no picnic but thanks to some very good neighbours and friends and the fact no claims were never refused, both myself and all my kids are still here to tell the tale.....and i can assure you there were times with all 3 when they very nearly gave up completely.
So when you all start moaning about benefit scroungers please think carefully as you might not know the full story behind the family and what has led them to seek benefits.
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1st November 2013 #39
So sorry to hear what you have been through, Lordna and thank goodness you are here to share your experiences. An excellent post, well done!
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1st November 2013 #40
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1st November 2013 #41
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1st November 2013 #42
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