family problem

[fred]

It is a tough one because Filipino`s often sleep in the same room as their kids..
Our kids were in with us until 7 years old!!.. It didnt bother me a bit as they were out for the count as soon as their heads hit the pillow.. The Mrs wouldn't have it any other way..
When my eldest was born the nurse had to remove the child from my wife`s bed about 6 times every night and put him back in the cot.. She didn't complain to the nurse..Just put him back in the bed with her when the nurse left... Mother knows best!

I kind of agree with breaking the habit if thats what you both want but if your son has only been in the UK for 3 weeks then thats not very long is it?
It will work its self out..Don't worry.

[bhem_bhem]

Not long enough.. when my son arrived here, I left him right away with his dad which is somewhat a stranger to him as he only met him twice because I've got to go to work.

Really need to talk to hubby so we can sort things out soon.

[joebloggs]

3wks is not long, i take it he's not at school yet?, that will wear him out and get him in a routine.

[bhem_bhem]

Nope, not until September..

[grahamw48]

Ah, only here 3 weeks ?

Well, the poor boy has got an awful lot to cope with then, hasn't he....not least being expected to live with someone who is a virtual stranger, let alone sleep in the same bed !

Reading your original post again, I find it rather concerning that your partner is SHOUTING at the boy.

Obviously there are bound to be stresses and strains in the household, but at this time I think you and your partner need to concentrate on attending to the needs of your very young and vulnerable child.

Is there a room that can be used as a bedroom for his exclusive use ?

If so, it needs to be made attractive to him, a comfortable and secure place, where he wants to be. I would buy a large stuffed 'guard' dog for instance, one that is going protect him from ghosts etc.

For my own boy I built a bed very similar to this one for him...so that going to bed was almost an adventure, and very much his personal space. It didn't cost me much money...just a lot of love and time.

.


.
I also made go-karts for my kids and other stuff to keep them amused. That's what dads are for !

[jake]

It is a tough one because Filipino`s often sleep in the same room as their kids..
Our kids were in with us until 7 years old!!.. It didnt bother me a bit as they were out for the count as soon as their heads hit the pillow.. The Mrs wouldn't have it any other way..
When my eldest was born the nurse had to remove the child from my wife`s bed about 6 times every night and put him back in the cot.. She didn't complain to the nurse..Just put him back in the bed with her when the nurse left... Mother knows best!

I kind of agree with breaking the habit if thats what you both want but if your son has only been in the UK for 3 weeks then thats not very long is it?
It will work its self out..Don't worry.

I agree.

It will take him time to adjust. Poor wee fella.

Do you really need to work? Would be nice if you could be with him especially at nights as this is the time of day that he needs you the most just now.
There are a lot more things more important than money.

[Michael Parnham]

Try telling your son, at seven years old he's now becoming a young man and men want their own room and to do things for themselves!

[bhem_bhem]

Ah, only here 3 weeks ?

Well, the poor boy has got an awful lot to cope with then, hasn't he....not least being expected to live with someone who is a virtual stranger, let alone sleep in the same bed !

Reading your original post again, I find it rather concerning that your partner is SHOUTING at the boy.

Obviously there are bound to be stresses and strains in the household, but at this time I think you and your partner need to concentrate on attending to the needs of your very young and vulnerable child.

Is there a room that can be used as a bedroom for his exclusive use ?

If so, it needs to be made attractive to him, a comfortable and secure place, where he wants to be. I would buy a large stuffed 'guard' dog for instance, one that is going protect him from ghosts etc.

For my own boy I built a bed very similar to this one for him...so that going to bed was almost an adventure, and very much his personal space. It didn't cost me much money...just a lot of love and time.

I also made go-karts for my kids and other stuff to keep them amused. That's what dads are for !

about my husband shouting at my son, i told him that it's not how to handle kids.. he's not exposed to kids so i understand he doesn't know how to react with things. in time everything will sink in and he'll learn how to be a real father.

my son has his own room and he has stuff toys he sleep with..

[bhem_bhem]

I agree.

It will take him time to adjust. Poor wee fella.

Do you really need to work? Would be nice if you could be with him especially at nights as this is the time of day that he needs you the most just now.
There are a lot more things more important than money.

i want to stop but i'm after of the maternity pay,, i've just started working so if i'll stop now i won't be able to claim maternity pay.. anyway my maternity leave starts in 2 months time..

[bhem_bhem]

Try telling your son, at seven years old he's now becoming a young man and men want their own room and to do things for themselves!

yeah,, i told him that,, hopefully it'll be fine soon..

[Arthur Little]

Do you really need to work? Would be nice if you could be with him especially at nights as this is the time of day that he needs you the most just now.

s from Jake.

There are a lot more things more important than money.

... with Jake. And - for the time~being, at least - your little boy's welfare is the MOST IMPORTANT of them ALL.

and, of course, during your pregnancy ... taking proper care of yourself.

[andy222]

It sounds like your son is a deep sleeper. I would wait until he is snoring then ship him off to his own bed. Have to be cruel to be kind. Another thing dont let him sleep early. Keep him up untill he is very tired.

[bhem_bhem]

s from Jake.



... with Jake. And - for the time~being, at least - your little boy's welfare is the MOST IMPORTANT of them ALL.

and, of course, during your pregnancy ... taking proper care of yourself.

I wish I can..

[bhem_bhem]

It sounds like your son is a deep sleeper. I would wait until he is snoring then ship him off to his own bed. Have to be cruel to be kind. Another thing dont let him sleep early. Keep him up untill he is very tired.

Hubby said that last night wasn't bad. he let my son stay late then when he was asleep in the sofa he carried him to my sons room. My son still woke up at 1ish and move to our room but he wasn't crying so my hubby just went back to sleep. Hopefully it'll continue like this.

[Michael Parnham]

Sounds as though with a little patience and time it will all come together Bhem bhem

[marksroomspain]

Hope it all works out for you I am sure it will I have told my wife I want our son in his own room by 6 months old but she says can we do it at 12 months so I agreed, for a filipina then thats a good compromise

Everything will be ok bhem_bhem

[grahamw48]

I think I'd want such a young baby close by.

In actual fact I couldn't bear to think of my boy having to sleep 'alone', up to him being around 5 years old...when he was given his own room.

He was always good as gold and we never missed a wink of sleep the whole time.

[gWaPito]

Talking about leaving the lights on. ..my house used to resemble Blackpool illuminations and that was to comfort the two adult women in the house I really don't get all this fear of the dark nonsense. ..now I can sleep comfortably in my bed in total darkness with both eyes closed. ..bliss! !!!
My boys, like me didn't have a problem with the dark or sleeping alone in their own rooms.

Sympathise with your situation. .must be so hard. ..sleep deprivation is tough.

The idea of keeping him up until he falls asleep is a terrible idea. .kids need routine .especially going to bed at a specific time routine.
This is the sort of thing you see a lot doing in the Philippines. ..you'll be making rods for your own backs. As said before. .tough love

Mine were in their own rooms at 12 weeks. ...no adjustment problems, no fear of the dark.

[fred]

Talking about leaving the lights on. ..my house used to resemble Blackpool illuminations and that was to comfort the two adult women in the house I really don't get all this fear of the dark nonsense. ..now I can sleep comfortably in my bed in total darkness with both eyes closed. ..bliss! !!!
My boys, like me didn't have a problem with the dark or sleeping alone in their own rooms.

Sympathise with your situation. .must be so hard. ..sleep deprivation is tough.

The idea of keeping him up until he falls asleep is a terrible idea. .kids need routine .especially going to bed at a specific time routine.
This is the sort of thing you see a lot doing in the Philippines. ..you'll be making rods for your own backs. As said before. .tough love

Mine were in their own rooms at 12 weeks. ...no adjustment problems, no fear of the dark.

I woke up once to the sound of my son choking on his vomit once..We were there right beside him.. Turned him on his side and he stopped choking and the mini drama was over!
Left in a room on his own? Who knows..
There are no cot deaths in the Philippines because there are no cots!

[bhem_bhem]

Sounds as though with a little patience and time it will all come together Bhem bhem

Yeah, I'm feeling positive that things will work out in the end. Hubby promised he will do his best just to see me happy.

[bhem_bhem]

Hope it all works out for you I am sure it will I have told my wife I want our son in his own room by 6 months old but she says can we do it at 12 months so I agreed, for a filipina then thats a good compromise

Everything will be ok bhem_bhem

6 months is too early for me.. 2 years will be fine..

[bhem_bhem]

The idea of keeping him up until he falls asleep is a terrible idea. .kids need routine .especially going to bed at a specific time routine.
This is the sort of thing you see a lot doing in the Philippines. ..you'll be making rods for your own backs. As said before. .tough love

Mine were in their own rooms at 12 weeks. ...no adjustment problems, no fear of the dark.

I have to settle for it at the mo coz both of them are still adjusting.

I wouldn't let my babies sleep on their own that early, no one knows what will happen while they are sleeping. It's best they sleep with me so in case they need something, I'm there.

[Steve.r]

In our house again the same story, they all sleep in the same room. But they have rooms and the two grown boys have their own room with bunk beds but they never use them. Something I find strange is that from an early age darkness brings evil and ghosts and fear of the dark. This must be installed from an early age because there is no fear unless someone puts something in your head. It sometimes makes me mad when I hear the story that they are scared of the dark and ghosts!!

[bhem_bhem]

I remember when I was young I'm scared to sleep on my own coz my friends told me stories about ghosts. My sons friend are doing that so now he is scared sleeping on his own.

[fred]

In our house again the same story, they all sleep in the same room. But they have rooms and the two grown boys have their own room with bunk beds but they never use them. Something I find strange is that from an early age darkness brings evil and ghosts and fear of the dark. This must be installed from an early age because there is no fear unless someone puts something in your head. It sometimes makes me mad when I hear the story that they are scared of the dark and ghosts!!

Installing children!!

[Steve.r]

Installing children!!

Wrong choice of words

I remember when I was young I'm scared to sleep on my own coz my friends told me stories about ghosts. My sons friend are doing that so now he is scared sleeping on his own.

Why do they do that?

[bhem_bhem]

it's always been like that,, they do that to scare the other children. tbh, i've done it before but obviously i didn't know that it will scar/affect others..

[Terpe]

I've read through the whole thread.

I wouldn't get too concerned. It's a huge change for a young un and also a huge change for your husband.
Given that it's still only been a few weeks I would say it's just early settling-down stage.

Patience, trust and family togetherness is needed. Please do allow time for new routines to settle.

Plenty of great advice already given based on actual experiences under similar conditions.

[bhem_bhem]

I've read through the whole thread.

I wouldn't get too concerned. It's a huge change for a young un and also a huge change for your husband.
Given that it's still only been a few weeks I would say it's just early settling-down stage.

Patience, trust and family togetherness is needed. Please do allow time for new routines to settle.

Plenty of great advice already given based on actual experiences under similar conditions.

yeah,, i think my hubby is getting used of waking up at night now as he doesn't moan that much as he used to.

[malditako]

My son took 3 years to adjust as well as myself lol. Though up to now me and my husband lie down with him, read story books and chat till he falls asleep. Its a bit of a hard work...both me and my son. I miss sleeping with him with his little arms around me so once in a while he sleeps with us in our bedroom. Well they wont stay kid forever soon they would grow and wouldn't even want you to linger around lol so we taking all the chance till its last