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Thread: A story

  1. #1
    Respected Member lordna's Avatar
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    A story

    One day, on a run down stately home in England, a flock of Sarus Cranes appeared overnight, it seemed from nowhere as these particular birds are non migratory and only known to be found in parts of the India Subcontinent, Southeast Asia and Australia.

    The owner of the property, himself a keen but inexperienced Ornithologist, instantly recognised that this was indeed a very unusual sighting. He immediately contacted his friends and before the day was out, between them , they had confirmed that indeed the birds were Sarus Cranes or Grus antigone (to give their Latin name). These beautiful birds were easily distinguished from others by their overall grey colour and contrasting dark red head and upper neck.

    The birds seemed quite happy foraging on the marshlands and shallow wetlands forming part of the grounds surrounding the now run down stately home. After a few weeks the owner knew he was on to a good thing. The birds being non migratory were going nowhere. After a small report to his local ornithology group, people had started flocking to the grounds to see these wonderful birds.

    At last he could see a way out of his poverty and a way of restoring his run down property and grounds to their former glory. He started charging an entrance fee to the grounds, built shelters to watch the birds. Before long he was able to restore the run down parts of his property and open them up to the public and in so doing generate more income.

    Soon he was able to employ a team of gardeners to try and restore the once renowned gardens surrounding the house. The crowds kept on coming, the main attraction being to see the wonderful birds that had so mysteriously appeared one night. The owner couldn't believe his good fortune.

    However, whatever he and his gardeners tried they couldn't get anything to grow. They tried everything known to them but without any success. New gardeners were employed, previous ones fired but for years nothing grew to add colour to the gardens. Just trees, shrubs, grasses, all green, green and more green.
    The birds however, continued to draw people in their thousands and still the birds were obviously there to stay.

    One day, a worker from the local flour mill had decided to visit. He got talking to the owner of the property and they immediately hit it off. To cut a long story short, The owner offered him a job as the man claimed he could solve the problem of getting things to grow. The owner was skeptical, but thought, what have I got to lose. So by the following Monday the man was in his employ.

    A week later, the birds had all disappeared just as quickly as they had come. Fortunately the house was now completely restored and drawing crowds in its own right. After another three months there was still no sign of the birds returning but people were still coming and there were some signs of growth in the gardens, which to date were beautifully laid out but as yet showed no signs of colour.

    Then Spring arrived, the gardens blossomed and up sprung every colour flower imaginable. Soon word got round and thousands flocked to the property to marvel at the wonderful house and beautiful gardens. The birds however were nowhere to be seen.

    The owner just knew his good fortune could only be down to man he employed from the local mill. So the next day he asked “how did you do it” The man replied “well I killed the birds and burnt them after which I gathered up all their ashes. These were then spread all over your gardens. The owner was more than a bit upset about the loss of the birds as they had been the start of his good fortune. But, rather than get angry he said” Well I am pleased to see so much colour and all these lovely plants blooming but why didnt you kill some other birds for ashes to spread on the gardens?”
    To which the man replied “Well everyone knows that Grey Dead Cranes make finer Flowers”


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    ...and I used to work for Spillers (Homepride).

    Did you know that in the old days the company's sales force used to have to wear Bowler hats, and that that is where the idea for the flour graders' uniform came from, not the flour mill workers ?


  3. #3
    Respected Member lordna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post


    ...and I used to work for Spillers (Homepride).

    Did you know that in the old days the company's sales force used to have to wear Bowler hats, and that that is where the idea for the uniform of the flour graders came from, not the flour mill workers ?
    Well i heard that on the Noel Edmunds radio breakfast show in the seventies but could only remember it was a long drawn out story followed by the punchline. So having nothing better to do i just spent the last hour or so , reinventing the story. Glad you liked it!


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    Nothing wrong with that...and is about the same age as my jokes.


  5. #5
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lordna View Post
    Well i heard that on the Noel Edmunds radio breakfast show in the seventies but could only remember it was a long drawn out story followed by the punchline. So having nothing better to do i just spent the last hour or so , reinventing the story. Glad you liked it!
    I enjoyed it!


  6. #6
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Very enjoyable
    Mick.


  7. #7
    Respected Member lordna's Avatar
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    For those wondering what its all about:-


  8. #8
    Respected Member lordna's Avatar
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    Or this one:-


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