Retired person health message !

[Doc Alan]

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,

I realised that at my age I don't really give a damn anymore .

.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.


.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

.. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.


And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so


Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do and the eyesight to tell the difference .

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.


2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.


3. I finally got my head together and now my body is falling apart.


4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?


7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.


8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post.


9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.


10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.


11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.


12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.



14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.


15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.


17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm "here after".


19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????

[Arthur Little]

... according to the popular periodical, 'Readers' Digest',
" is the best medicine", Alan; , because, this article of yours is a real "pick me up" - listing, as it so~aptly does - the Top 20 pointers defining life's so-called "Third Age"!

[imagine]

good one

[Terpe]

I love these kinds of lists, they really tickle me.

Nice find Alan

21. Us older folks shouldn't eat too many health foods. We need all the preservatives we can get

[Doc Alan]

Thanks Arthur, Stewart and Peter

I should read this section of the Forum more often .

[Terpe]

You can't be as old as I am without waking up in the morning with surprised look in your eyes and huge grin from ear-to-ear.

Wow I'm still here.

I'm still completely amazed that I survived all the crazy stunts, the booze, the smoking, the fast cars, the women and the career.

Thanks mainly to my wife.

22. The older I get, the older old gets

23. Exercise daily. Eat wisely. Die anyway

[Michael Parnham]

Brilliant!