My wife wants me to leave our home.

[Ako Si Jamie]

Not necessarily in my experience Jamie. I consider myself pretty sharp but I endured some strange behaviour before I realised what was going on.
Grahams rule 3 is very important now

Rule 3: do NOT trust her. No matter how much you want to, or think that you can.

She's pretending to be jealous you mean? That's possible.

[Terpe]

Mark, I pm'd you

[grahamw48]

i havent read this topic word for word---but---i cant help thinking there could be someone else involved here---either in the UK or the philis. do you think you might have been used?

I understand exactly where you're coming from mate, but with all due respect I think Mark has enough to cope with right now, without worrying about the involvement of 'other parties' . Maybe best we stick with his immediate predicament.

[Notavirusalso]

oh I got a request. .Sars, please don't call her and ask questions. .it causes so many problems. .I must work now. . Cheers

My wife "Sars" recived a text to which she phoned back at Jane's request, There is no offence intended and wish you the best of luck with your situation. I have asked my wife not to get involved but if Jane wishes to call her then thats fine but we will not interfere with your life. People have to remeber that there is two sides to every story and should not be so judgemental without seeing the whole picture as it is in many cases. If you are looking for help and advice on here try to give as much accurate information as you can to get the best appropriate help and advice.

[gWaPito]

i havent read this topic word for word---but---i cant help thinking there could be someone else involved here---either in the UK or the philis. do you think you might have been used?

Yes bigmac ..Jamie already implied that.

Graham Terpe...I'll pm my number when I got chance to open my pms.
.Thanks xxx

[Pete/London]

Mark, just a couple of things to add, women get really put out by ex wives and daughters from previous marriages, its like walking on eggshells, plus the fact your wife is Filipino, who can be quite fiery. If she is anything like mine they can find fault in what we would consider the most trivial of things so try not to throw petrol on the fire.

Why don't you make up some reason to take yourself away for a couple of days, on your own, things may well cool down.

[imagine]

im real sorry reading your post, i feel for you in your situation, having been where you are on more than one occasion, my ex the first time left with my 3 daughters the youngest was 6 months,when i visited i felt my youngest didnt recognise me anymore that cut me up, after losing my house my job my wife and kids all in the same week, it was hell,after being separated for 9 months i pushed to be with her and my kids again, mainly because i didnt want to be without my kids, a few more years together then my x thought the grass was greener on the other side , she left for a younger guy she met at work, leaving the girls with me this time, after only 1 week being left she asked to trade a quick divorce in exchange for easy legal custody for me and my girls,
on the advice given to you not to trust your wife i agree very strongly, if a court case comes up you would be surprised how that woman you thought you knew can say the most wicked things against you, much not true and plenty twisted truths,

on the subject of her mocking you with your slight speach impediment, how about slipping a voice recorder in your pocket, the time may come that you need some defence against her,

as others have said, dont leave your house, if you do you will have no rights left at all,

i would have much prefered to say i hope you can work things out, but from what i read thats not going to happen,

take care of your health, like the doc says take time off, rest whenever possible, try get your mind as clear as possible, walks are great for thinking and clearing your head,

take care of yourself through this, taking care of your health now is vital,

i dont know what else to say, but like everyone here on this forum, our support is here for you

[Terpe]

Mark, I sent you another important PM
Please do take a look now.

[bigmarco]

Probably wise not to say an awful lot more on here to be honest.
Good luck Mark

[gWaPito]

My wife "Sars" recived a text to which she phoned back at Jane's request, There is no offence intended and wish you the best of luck with your situation. I have asked my wife not to get involved but if Jane wishes to call her then thats fine but we will not interfere with your life. People have to remeber that there is two sides to every story and should not be so judgemental without seeing the whole picture as it is in many cases. If you are looking for help and advice on here try to give as much accurate information as you can to get the best appropriate help and advice.

Thanks Dave...glad you let me know. .I guess it'll be fire and brimstone when I get home later. ..Dave, could you ask Marie to ask Jane to be amicable when I'm around which isn't very much. .I know she goes into a state of heightened agitation when in view.
I'm sorry I can't help that. .I'm not talking to her or anything really. .we been sleeping separately for weeks. .so no really reason to stress when I'm around. ..tomorrow I'll food shop as normal then go to my mum's. .im not hanging round the house Dave. ..I'm working all I can to stay away. .Cheers Dave

[gWaPito]

Mark, I sent you another important PM
Please do take a look now.

Steve Terpe and Graham. .I've just sent you personal messages. I really appreciate the advice.
Thanks Stewart for your post. .that sounded like hell. .all in a week too. .God bless us!

[grahamw48]

Message received mate.

[Terpe]

Steve Terpe and Graham. .I've just sent you personal messages. I really appreciate the advice.
Thanks Stewart for your post. .that sounded like hell. .all in a week too. .God bless us!

[gWaPito]

BT got it right. .it certainly is good to talk. .This morning when I woke, my heart was beating out of my chest as Jane was coming down the stairs.... .later I get to work and finally get the courage to open up. .it's been and up and down day today. .and I'm sure this is only the start but at least i feel a weight taken from my shoulders. .Thank you all so much. ..I'm now anxious about going home. .bye for now. .

[jake]

Mark, have sent you a PM. Only my thoughts. How you wish to proceed is entirely up too you.

Best Wishes to everyone involved.

[gWaPito]

Mark, just a couple of things to add, women get really put out by ex wives and daughters from previous marriages, its like walking on eggshells, plus the fact your wife is Filipino, who can be quite fiery. If she is anything like mine they can find fault in what we would consider the most trivial of things so try not to throw petrol on the fire.

Why don't you make up some reason to take yourself away for a couple of days, on your own, things may well cool down.

Thanks Pete. .Why on earth should we tread carefully where ex wifes and daughters are concerned. ...hell, they are our flesh and blood and whether the present wives like it or not they will always be a part of us. .the ex wives becoz of the daughter link..Pete, our wives knew the score before we married them, just like we knew the score with what goes on with some Filipino family. .we don't like it but we accepted it for better and for worse, through thick and thin. .hahaha (sarcasm for the ones who don't get sarcasm), that rings hollow now. .. ..the difference being the attachment here with our kids of previous marriages are emotional.....well tough titty! !!!!.....what we meant to do, dump them and think no more about them ..bull .... I say. .we accept their family politics (nonsense) they accept that we have family here. .thing is Pete they don't want to share our love. .even though a totally different ....blah blah blah! ! You could be explaining ( that's if you can get a word in ) until you're blue in the face. .Some have the inability to put oneself In another person's shoes.

[gWaPito]

Mark, have sent you a PM. Only my thoughts. How you wish to proceed is entirely up too you.

Best Wishes to everyone involved.

I'm grateful for your pm Jake. ..considering we haven't spoken before, I'm doubly grateful. .Thanks

[Arthur Little]

Needless to say, Mark, I'm deeply shocked and saddened to read about the seriousness of your domestic situation. Although vaguely aware that relations between you and Jane have been somewhat strained for some time, it seemed to me that ... ... whatever the cause(s) and nature of the problems the pair of you had experienced as a couple, they'd been "ironed out" on your return from the Philippines.

Clearly this ISN'T the case, and - while it's true that sometimes, "the least said ... soonest mended" - I would have to reiterate the views expressed by others, in so far as I, too, find it unreasonable of your wife to expect you to "upsticks" and leave an environment you have worked long and hard to create for her and your two little boys.

Likewise, I believe you've been given wise counsel privately, by a number of people - whose advice you can rely upon 100% - so it would be inappropriate for me to add further comment ... except to assure you of my thoughts and prayers throughout this very difficult period.

God Bless!

[Ako Si Jamie]

I was going to suggest to have it out with her but I thought I'd be stating the obvious but then again the obvious can be bypassed and I'm speaking from experience.

[Michael Parnham]

All I can say is"never leave your home" I did and lost everything I'd worked all my life for, and now at 70 years old with my new wife I'm starting all over again, and it's not an easy ride. Good Luck, hope it works out for you

[grahamw48]

Same happened to me Michael.

I must say, you're a brave man. Good luck to you and your wife.

[gWaPito]

All I can say is"never leave your home" I did and lost everything I'd worked all my life for, and now at 70 years old with my new wife I'm starting all over again, and it's not an easy ride. Good Luck, hope it works out for you

Thanks for the advice Michael. ..that's certainly worth a reputation!....a belated welcome to the friendly FilipinoUk forum

[tiger31]

whatever happens DO NOT MOVE OUT I did that the first time and I deeply regretted it .you will need a house if you get access to the children ,so if she is the problem which I think is the case here tell her to leave .The council will then have to rehouse her and you will have a house to bring the kids to .The biggest danger here is if she runs back to the philippines with the kids you might not see the kids again .But please seek advice and help to resolve this situation there are lots of people who have gone through this i,m sure you will find help good luck whatever happens

[SimonH]

Sorry to read of your situation, I can only re-iterate what others have said.
1. DO NOT move out
2. Seek legal advise
3. Check you bank account(s), especially joint ones.
4. Keep a diary of daily events/threats/arguments/insults
5. Stay rational
6. Do not retaliate or lose your temper, this will be used against you.
7. If you have a spare room then move into that
8. remember DO NOT move out

Wishing you all the best in these traumatic times

[gWaPito]

Tiger and Simon. .I appreciate your advice and kindness really I do. ..This is my third marriage so you would think I'd be well versed on this. ..on the practical side of things I am. ....emotionally its killing me. .like today, I didn't want the day to start. ..I didn't sleep until 5 this morning. .the daylight filled me with dread. ..still, I got doctor's appointment tomorrow. .He may give me some happy pills. .I haven't been on them for many years. ..I thought all this stuff had finished for me. ..I'm beginning to empathise with Job from the Bible. .hell, he suffered more than anyone. .anyway, enough feeling sorry for myself. .I'll going to visit the only woman, my Mother ( apart from my daughter) who says I'm alright ..what the hell am i saying! ..

[cheekee]

I have no advice, I just wanted to say take care and I hope things get better for you.

[alan_mac]

Leaving home/not leaving home shouldn't make any difference. I left 5 years ago and have a happy and civilized sharing agreement with my ex. My 3 have half the week with me and half with her and it all works very well.

The key is open and emotion-free dialogue and agreement. In your case I think you can't do that with your wife. I'd call someone from social services to act a mediator.

I actually don't care about you or your Mrs but your wee ones shouldn't be fought over in this way.

Get someone to mediate and get a vasectomy.

[gWaPito]

I have no advice, I just wanted to say take care and I hope things get better for you.

Thanks cheekee..I appreciate your kindness
Cheers

[malditako]

why she wants you to leave home?...there must be a reason and that u need to sort out. hope things get better for both of you

[malditako]

why she wants you to leave home?...there must be a reason and that u need to sort out. I dont know you nor your wife...but as u said this is your third marriage it seems that you can't hold and keep a marriage or just not lucky enough with the ladies you go into. Maybe u need to reflect as well what have been wrong. Either way I hope things get better for both of you and for whats good with your kids. Drama and frequent fights in the house sounds not right for children.