Disclaimer: By posting on this web site it is accepted that you have agreed to our Terms. Please DO NOT publish copyrighted material/pictures without the owner’s permission, you are liable for any costs incurred.


Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Marikina City
    Posts
    26,785
    Rep Power
    150

    Question Did I Marry the Wrong Person?

    If you've been wondering "Did I marry the wrong person?", I suggest you read the article below:-

    Did I Marry the Wrong Person?

    During one of my seminars, a woman asked me a question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"



    Source:-
    http://www.marriagemax.com/married-right-person.asp


  2. #2
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Nottinghamshire
    Posts
    11,643
    Rep Power
    150
    Very good Peter!


  3. #3
    Respected Member Iani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Sunny Yorkshire, ey oop
    Posts
    1,378
    Rep Power
    109
    I'm not a good one to ask about how to make relationships last. Anyone who has sort of followed my posts might have worked out that I have a long term failed one behind me.

    What I'm not going to do is use this to throw blame, try say it was her fault, try to say it was my fault. It's not a good thing to do, and impresses no-one. Maybe there was fault on both sides, or maybe there wasn't. There is always a trigger which is your personal breaking point.

    I can though say, there are stages to any relationship. There is the heady first bit where you frankly want to jump on each other all the time. This though fades (no idea why tbh) and at that stage, if you are suited, your "love" turns into a more respecting deep thing. It's what some philosophers called agape.

    What is the most important thing in a relationship, is that that other person is also your best friend as well as lover.

    Oh and that thing which people have a self delusion blurt out, when they are trying to be self appointed relationship experts "sex isn't the most important thing" - well it isn't, BUT sorry it is important. If nothing else it is proof you still find that other person physically attractive, and know something - everyone needs a hug sometimes. Sex isn't just the obvious thing, it's physical comforting such as just sneaking up behind your partner and rubbing their shoulders for no reason at all. It's stroking their bum for a split second as you pass - again for absolutely no reason. It's tiny little things which just show you still have a little crush on that other person.

    The big thing is communication, and the willingness to compromise sometimes.

    I got given this link, and although I can't vouch for the writer to know what he's talking about, it seem to be the most realistic appraisal on what a relationship needs I've read

    http://drphil.com/articles/article/26


    Ten Relationship Myths

    Think your relationship is a failure because you and your partner aren't following certain "rules" or meeting certain standards? Dr. Phil blows the whistle on 10 of the most common but dangerous relationship myths.

    MYTH #1: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON A GREAT MEETING OF THE MINDS
    You will never see things through your partner's eyes because you are two entirely different people. You are genetically, physiologically, psychologically and historically different.
    You will not solve your relationship problems by becoming more alike in your thinking. Men and women are wired differently. Attempting to blur your fundamentally different viewpoints is unnatural and even dangerous.
    Recognize that a relationship is far more enjoyable when you're with someone who enriches your life, not simply reflects it. Appreciate your differences.
    MYTH #2: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES A GREAT ROMANCE
    Yes, your life with your partner should include plenty of romance. But don't kid yourself and expect an unrealistic Hollywood fairytale. The truth is that in the real world, being in love is not like falling in love.
    Falling in love is only the first stage of love. It's impossible to remain in that stage. A mature relationship will shift from dizzying infatuation to a deeper, more secure love.
    Don't make the common mistake of thinking that when the initial wild passion fades you aren't in love anymore. The answer is not to start a new relationship so you can recapture that emotional high with someone else. The answer is to learn how to move on to the next stages of love for a different but richer experience.
    MYTH #3: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES GREAT PROBLEM-SOLVING
    Don't fall into the trap of believing that you and your partner can't be happy if you can't resolve your serious disagreements. Ninety percent of problems in a relationship are not solvable.
    There are things that you and your partner disagree about and will continue to disagree about. Why can't you once and for all resolve these issues? Because in order to do so, one of you would have to sacrifice your values and beliefs.
    You can simply agree to disagree and reach "emotional closure" even though you haven't reached closure on the issue.
    MYTH #4: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES COMMON INTERESTS THAT BOND YOU TOGETHER FOREVER
    There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don't share common interests and activities.
    If you and your partner are forcing yourselves to engage in common activities but the results are stress, tension and conflict, don't do it!
    MYTH #5: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP IS A PEACEFUL ONE
    Don't be afraid to argue because you think it's a sign of weakness or relationship breakdown. Even the healthiest couples argue.
    If approached properly, arguing can actually help the relationship by (a) releasing tension and (b) instilling the sense of peace and trust that comes from knowing you can release feelings without being abandoned or humiliated.
    Instead of worrying about how many times you argue, worry about how you argue. Here are some guidelines:

    Don't abandon the issue and attack the worth of your partner during an argument.
    Don't seek conflict because it's stimulating.
    Don't pursue a take-no-prisoners approach in your arguments.
    Don't avoid achieving emotional closure at the end of an argument.
    MYTH #6: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP LETS YOU VENT ALL YOUR FEELINGS
    Getting things off your chest might feel good, but when you blurt something out in the heat of the moment, you risk damaging your relationship permanently. Many relationships are destroyed when one partner can't forgive something that was said during uncensored venting.
    Before you say something you might regret, bite your tongue and give yourself a moment to consider how you really feel. The things we say while we're letting loose often don't represent how we really feel and shouldn't be communicated — especially if they are potentially destructive.
    MYTH #7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX
    The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.
    Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the "importance scale" if it's a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the "importance scale."
    Don't restrict your thinking by considering sex to be something that only consists of the actual physical act. Touching, caressing, holding hands and any means by which you provide physical comfort to your partner can all be viewed as part of a fulfilling sex life.
    MYTH #8: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP CANNOT SURVIVE A FLAWED PARTNER
    Nobody's perfect. As long as your partner's quirks are non-abusive and non-destructive, you can learn to live with them.
    Instead of focusing on your partner's shortcomings, remember the qualities that attracted you in the first place. Perhaps some of these idiosyncrasies were part of the attraction? Just because a behavior isn't mainstream, doesn't mean that it's toxic to the relationship.
    Be careful to distinguish the difference between a partner with quirks and one with a serious problem. Serious problems that are destructive and abusive include substance abuse and mental/physical abuse. Unlike idiosyncrasies, these are not behaviors you should learn to live with.
    MYTH #9: THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP GREAT
    Nothing could be further from the truth. There is no definitive "right way" to be a good spouse, good parent, or to handle any relationship challenge that life throws you.
    Do what works for you rather than following some standards you might have read in a book or heard from a well-meaning friend. If what you and your partner are doing is generating the results you want, stick with it. If both of you are comfortable with the principles that work, you can write your own rules.
    Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love. There is no "right way" for someone to love you. The fact that your partner expresses feelings differently doesn't make those feelings less genuine or of less value.
    MYTH #10: YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN BECOME GREAT ONLY WHEN YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR PARTNER OUT
    Don't fall into the trap of believing that if you could change your partner, your relationship would be better. You are, at the very least, jointly accountable for the relationship.
    Let go of the childlike notion that falling in love means finding someone who will be responsible for your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness.
    If your relationship is distressed, the most important person for you to change might be yourself. Once you identify the payoffs you are subconsciously seeking with destructive behavior, you can choose to remove them from your life.


  4. #4
    Banned cloud9-rob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    suffolk
    Posts
    32
    Rep Power
    0
    love is not finding the perfect person , but to learn to love there inadaquiceys .....we all have them ...


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. is my doctor wrong or is my works boss wrong
    By \\\\ToNy//// in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 16th January 2013, 21:09
  2. Did I Marry the Right Person????..or Am i with the Right Girl or Guy???
    By sars_notd_virus in forum Courting, Relationships & Weddings
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 4th August 2010, 16:01

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum