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Thread: Slightly Different Situation
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23rd August 2007 #31
Can I ask you something? Did your marriage took place here in the Philippines? If so, however hard you try to seek divorce in another country or any other parts of the world for that matter your marriage will still be valid here in the Philippines. Your only option is to file annulment back home. And for you to do that is to make yourself available when you file it, be there on the court hearings or just one court hearing if the other person won't contest. Spend a fortune to insure that the process would have a positive outcome. It is very complicated indeed! Would you be willing to do that? If not, then...case closed. We will just keep banging our heads on the wall then , such a tough situation you are in. Hope you will find the solution though. Good day!
The bravest thing that men do is love women--Mort Sahl
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23rd August 2007 #32
Similar situation to my neighbor that nearly convicted...Huh...sorry to say...
gOOD Luck anyway...Hope u gonna fix it soon...
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23rd August 2007 #33
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23rd August 2007 #34
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Why not give yourself to think more, a hundred times, a thousand times. You are in a confused situation. You may still love your wife because you can't hardly divorce her. You said you love your GF but listen to your heart, as it maybe only desire. Don't say your wife is crazy as she agreed for an annulment. I am sure she understands your situation thats why she agreed. I wish your children goodluck
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23rd August 2007 #35
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23rd August 2007 #36
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23rd August 2007 #37
oh the filipina's are after your blood
my wife just told me, the wife of her younger brother has left him, and gone back to her parents taking their 2 young kids for good, hes been fooling around with other women, even took one of them to thier own home.. so much for the vows he made, i'm not even religious, but i would never cheat on my wife.. its easy to walk away... when there's problems... and put yourself first before your wife and kids.
and their are always innocent victims,, usually the wife and kids, put yourself in your wifes shoes, see how it feels... or how are your kids going to feel...
as tracy in big brother says "SORT IT" ....
me and my wife had problems.. but we sorted them out, 5 years later were happy and still married..
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23rd August 2007 #38
Whichever way you decide to go, it is in your hands alone.
As you said yourself, your situation is different, extremely different and difficult to deal with.
Needless to say, I agree with many other people... The kids will suffer. No matter who they live with.
The perfect environment, forchildren, always is with the biological parents.
Shifting the responsability onto your parents does not absolve you of your natural obbligation towards them.
After reflecting on the subject for a couple of days, I am sure of the fact that you are making a huge mistake, something which you might regret at a later date.
Your British g/f will not put up with your kids at any time, and will resent having to share you with them.
The moment She realizes that you will not be free, the Praying Mantis will rip you to bits and leave you for greener pastures...
Only my two centavos worth...
Good luck, anyway...
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23rd August 2007 #39
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Welcome caviteno,
You are in a tough situation really. Dont you know that females or your wife has the power to make your life very difficult? Your wife can just say its fine that you are with another girl and ok for annulment but when it comes the time she will not agree to it. And my guess is that she will just say, anyway shes the original and your gf the kabit and no able minded woman want to just be a mistress.
If I was in your wifes' shoes I WILL DEMAND everything from you especially money, I will milk you till you are very dry. Thats just my opinion anyway.
But then again we dont much about the root and tip of your situation, who did first, second and so on.
Take care.
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23rd August 2007 #40
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Thanks everyone, i appreciate all your advices....and some "comments"....needless to say, doesnt matter what they ask from me....i have got NOTHING on my hand to give. In the near future might be, but thats gonna be in black and white, not for me for the kids as the priority.
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25th August 2007 #41
pahabol... your username just suit you really
to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...
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25th August 2007 #42
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pahabol too,
To caviteno, long as your wife agree to be a standby(pangreserba) if things dont work with you and your gf; and your gf agree to be the other woman then that would be FINE I think. But thats just my opinion.
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26th August 2007 #43
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Thanks again....But nobody said "reserba"....Our relationship is finished....Thats why i am looking for anything like an advice on what i can do.....all i get are criticism and judgment. I am not a daft person not to understand most of you, nor bothered about the criticism, nobody knows me and my situation. The only problem is the law i am bound to in the Phil's. Some of you maybe lucky in a relationship, i just hope it lasts and things wont go wrong.
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26th August 2007 #44
when you say 'our' you both feel the same way that its over? , or is it 'my' relationship is over with my wife or husband? .. is this a one way thing ? .. i suppose if you both have agreed its over and moved on, the only ones hurt will be your kids, then good luck to you both
me and the wife had major problems for a long time, but we stuck at it and worked it out. Long distance relationships are difficult enough, never mind being married and 6000 miles away...
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26th August 2007 #45
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Caviteno, if you are now a British citizen (dont know if u are) then ur problem is over coz divorced is valid in the Phils. as long as ur wife is a filipina. But if you're still a filipino citizen then you have to do the annulment proceedings. Your problem is similar to mine but yours is very complicated in such a way.
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26th August 2007 #46
When is that implementedSorry but I didnt know thatAs far as I know divorce is a not unless its been implemented recently
to Caviteno,yep we dont know your situation but from the time you accepted that woman(your ex) to be your wife.You have to tackle all the circumstances what ever may it be in life.as you both said your vows so you have to work it out.why not give it another go.just an adviseto loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...
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26th August 2007 #47
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[quote=Mrs Daddy;32090]When is that implementedSorry but I didnt know thatAs far as I know divorce is a not unless its been implemented recently
Yes, Mrs. Daddy. I was saying that coz I have just done it. But before I submitted to that I spend alot of time speaking to my lawyer back to PI and he said that to me. I am not satisfied with what my lawyer told to me. So, I consulted again to one of lawyer in Makati (whose specialty is annulment) and he said the same thing what my lawyer told me. As long as we are a filipino citizen and the one who filed divorced is our brit husband (or any citizen or even a filipino who is no longer a citzen of PI) the divorced is VERY VALID in our own country. Brit or any other citizen can REMARRY AGAIN OR EVEN US CAN REMARRY AGAIN WITHOUT ANY TROUBLE.Take it from me I HAVE DONE IT. Needless to say (though) whose fault it was why my marriage end up. I am talking here from my experience in life and not telling tales.
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26th August 2007 #48
hey mr caviteno i found a good solution to your case....i just remember this...but i hope you will like the idea...since you dont want to lost any of the two women in your life your ex and your present gf i suggest that you should go into converting as an islam believer as they have this rule that you can marry as 4 times as you can for as long as you do provide for each of them without being question and charge bigamy...and still can remarry without asking for annulment or divorce from your ex wife.....
Filipina a born survivor!
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26th August 2007 #49
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Mr Caviteno, I'm not criticising you, i'm just sharing some opinion about your situation. And yes you are right we don't know you and we do not know the whole situation but maybe you can relate some more if you want to so people can here can understand more.
As for the law in the PI about annulment, I don't see any problem why you cannot do it. How did the other members in this forum did it? I they can, then why can't you?
I wish you the best and your families...take care.
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27th August 2007 #50
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27th August 2007 #51
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I didnt say that i dont want to lose my first relationship...... as i said its finished...... annulment is too expensive and no assurance. And by the way thanks, hope our muslim brothers and sisters dont misunderstood your "".
Here is the summary of the problem where i am seeking an advice for...
I want to get settled here with my gf and since my papers says i am married when i entered UK, i am now trying to sort it through Divorce not annulment. The wife already agreed to that. Ive been here for more than a year, so what i am asking is (if anyone had an experience or knowledge) will i be qualified to apply for a divorce?
To all, thanks. We all want a happy life, not turning my back on the responsibilities,but also thinking about my happiness. I am merely seeking an information and anything will be appreciated as i have to everything thats been said.
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27th August 2007 #52
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27th August 2007 #53
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27th August 2007 #54
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If you feel you've been criticized, please don't take it positively, you can take it as a challenge to move on.
I would like to share to you about the one I know with the same situation like yours. He is in America and with 2 kids and wife in the Philippines. This man he said he fall in love with a white. And his wife, a teacher understand his situation. But two kids receiving financial support from their dad. The new couple married in the US and after several years, he wanted to be reunited with his ex wife. He said he still love his ex after many years.They are now in the Philippines living happily.
As we know, many filipino men do comeback to their family after they realized they still love their wife and family. That's why I told you to think a hundred times, a thousand times. As a saying goes in the Philippines, "ANG PAG-AASAWA AY DI GAWANG BIRO, HINDI KANIN NA MAINIT NA KAPAG ISINUBO AT NAPASO AY PILIT NA ILULUWA"
Whatever your decision is, goodluck to you, and you are right, that children must be the first priority as they still need your support and guidance.
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27th August 2007 #55
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27th August 2007 #56
Can afford to have an english girl and replace your poor wife? but then you can't afford to get an annulment or divorce because of money matters?
Duh!
I think getting a new english girl is more expensive than leaving your filipina wife.There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
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27th August 2007 #57
It seems like you wanted to get out from this situation but you're not really ready to have a go with the options or solutions that is possible for you. You said that the only option for you is "Divorce" which you know yourself that it is not applicable to you and you dont want annulment coz its too expensive for you "which is your only option really cos you need to abide by the law of Phils since you're still a fil. citizen". You also said that you wanted to do it as quiet and simple as you can but you also know that it is not as simple as what you think your situation is...
If you are really seriously looking for an option, then wait 'til you speak to your solicitor and you'll get the proper advise that you want.
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28th August 2007 #58
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