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Thread: Heartbroken

  1. #31
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    Mariel ... my story ended up longer than yours. Yours, though, easily puts mine in the shade ... being the heart~rending tale of an young lady prepared to travel to the other side of the world at HUGE financial and - more importantly - emotional expense to herself, for the sake of a spineless jerk, lacking even in the common decency of acknowledging her presence. And in that sense, each of our stories are similar ... laying aside the vast differences in the respective distances involved.

    Such misfortunes are no respecter of persons or gender ... they can - and often do -affect young, old, middle-aged, male or female alike, as we've seen. But we can simply put them down to experience and move on with our lives ... as I did. And within a year, I found myself corresponding regularly with a Filipina to whom I've been happily married since December 2008.

    So ... if I can do it in my sixties ... you can in your twenties, Mariel.
    Hi Arthur
    I too had some bad experances in trying to meet a western woman before I met my now ex Filipina wife.

    For her to just disapear like that showed she would never have been capible of commitment.
    Mick.


  2. #32
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Hello softmallowgum
    You were so very unlucky to had met such a man
    The fact that you traveled here to the UK to meet him, was brave and showed your genuine commitment.

    For him then to more or less ignore you and use such feeble excuses shows you he is not worthy of your friendship let alone progress to a relationship.

    I married a Filipina in 2008 who used me for money, a visa and for me to bring her here to the UK, plus she was unfaithful after our wedding which resulted in a child that was not mine.

    If I had had the fortune to had met a girl more like you my life would be much happier now.

    Take care, you will find a more worthy man.
    Mick.
    Aww, I feel really bad. It's people like her who makes us Filipinas look bad. Hugs! I hope you're with someone more deserving of you now!


  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    Sadly, something fairly similar happened to me a little more than five years ago. Having corresponded daily with a 60-year-old Irish woman ... who, like myself, had been widowed, I travelled to Dublin - where we arranged to meet in the lobby of a hotel I'd booked into the evening prior to our "assignation".

    Unfortunately, I'm partially deaf - a condition worsened by air travel - particularly following short-haul flights ... in spite of my wearing hearing aids!! And this occasion, being no exception, I found myself practically stone deaf ... "floating" in almost complete silence through the airport on arrival. ... NOT a good start!

    However, by next morning - as luck would have it - my hearing seemed to've improved sufficiently to enable me to be be alerted by 'Room Service' informing me my guest had arrived. So ... downstairs I trotted. Although we hadn't previously met in person, each of us instantly recognised the other from our respective photos on the Dating Site. Having exchanged the usual pleasantries, she then, somewhat apologetically, asked if I could direct her to the 'Ladies'. ... nothing unusual in that, ... needs must ... especially after a lengthy car journey. But when she came back [eventually] she was holding a cigarette packet in her hand and, without a word, indicated she was going outside for a fag. Strange thing for someone to do on initial acquaintance, I felt ... though, again, fair enough ... she maybe needed something to calm possible underlying feelings of nervousness. So I patiently waited ... and waited ... and ...

    ... after 20 minutes (more than double the time it takes to smoke a single cigarette!) I stepped outside ... glanced up, down and across both sides of the street. Alas ... she was nowhere to be seen! Thoroughly pissed~off ... I trudged upstairs to "lick my wounds" ... only to be summoned back to Reception some time later, to take a call from a relative of hers ... explaining (whatever her name was - can't remember now - best forgotten anyroads! ) had had to be driven back home due to feeling unwell ... or some other excuse.

    Without further ado, I hastily packed, checked out of the hotel and headed straight for the airport ... where I'd hoped to be able to utilise the return portion of my ticket (costing seventy~odd quid) 3 days earlier than scheduled - all to no avail - leaving me stranded on the other side of the Irish Sea until the end of the week ... unless I was prepared to stump up twice the amount I'd paid in the first place. ... bloody Ryanair! Needless to say, I wasn't ... and spent the rest of that week sightseeing - ALONE!

    Rarely - if ever - had I been "stood up" in the past. So, once back home, I decided to contact the person responsible for leading me on this particular "wild goose chase" ... seeking a proper explanation for her sudden, unladylike behavior in going "AWOL" as it were. Whereupon she insinuated the photo I'd used on the dating site must've been at least 10 years old ... the cheeky bitch ... when, in fact, it was taken only three years previously - since which time, I assured her, I hadn't changed. Hmph ... with hindsight, I ought to have retorted that if she'd cared to glance at herself in the mirror during her long sojourn to the hotel toilet earlier that week - instead of (as I suspect) using her mobile to call her driver in order to "beat a hasty retreat" - it would've been patently obvious she was no spring chicken! But - ever the gentleman - I didn't.
    Great story Arthur, although I'm sure you didn't think that at the time.
    Anyway I enjoyed reading it.

    All's well that end's well eh Arthur, as you've luckily managed to find yourself a genuine diamond.


  4. #34
    Respected Member songz777's Avatar
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    I felt really sad when I read your post, I could imagine how I would have felt after travelling to Cagyan De Oro and my girl didnt bother with me, I am so sorry for you, and feel very much for you. Your pain is real and deep, yet I know you will not give up but you will learn and know eactly what you need the next time and you will meet an honourable man who will treat you as a you deserve. God bless you, and hey your experience will qualify you asa good adviser to others who have gone though such times.
    "Nothing ventured, nothing gained"
    "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" Lord Tenneson.


  5. #35
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by softmallowgum View Post
    Aww, I feel really bad. It's people like her who makes us Filipinas look bad. Hugs! I hope you're with someone more deserving of you now!
    No I have remained alone since, and the new income rules mean I could not bring anouther lady here if I met one.
    Mick.


  6. #36
    Respected Member stevie c's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear your sad story but you must move on this guy does not deserve a loving woman like yourself don't waste your tears & breath on this heartless b.....d




    AN HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE


  7. #37
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    No I have remained alone since, and the new income rules mean I could not bring anouther lady here if I met one.
    Mick.
    Aww, well you never know. She might be there already


  8. #38
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevie c View Post
    So sorry to hear your sad story but you must move on this guy does not deserve a loving woman like yourself don't waste your tears & breath on this heartless b.....d
    Thanks, it's a bit hard (sometimes I 'relapse' and feel like I should message him or something) but I just keep on thinking I didn't deserve what he did to me.

    Moving on is so easy to say, but it's a lot harder lol. But I know in time, I'll be better.

    Thanks everyone <3


  9. #39
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by softmallowgum View Post
    I didn't deserve what he did to me.
    NOBODY deserves to be treated the way you (or I) were ! So ... ... don't be tempted to contact him.


  10. #40
    Member Crampton's Avatar
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    Best of Luck on finding the right person


  11. #41
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    NOBODY deserves to be treated the way you (or I) were ! So ... ... don't be tempted to contact him.
    Yes, nobody deserves to be treated that way I know heartbreak was inevitable for us knowing that the people we were with didn't see a future with us, but some respect and decency from them would somehow lessen the hurt on our end... and would make them look less like an lol :P

    I really envy you you found your soulmate after that horror story :P

    I hope I will be as lucky and blessed as you all are in finding mine as well


  12. #42
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crampton View Post
    Best of Luck on finding the right person
    Thank you Crampton


  13. #43
    Respected Member filbrit's Avatar
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    hello there softmallowgum. i'm sad to read about your story but you know what you were saved from that bad guy because you deserve better. God bless you. don't stop looking for love and as the song goes:

    He broke your heart and said goodbye
    After promising forever
    You wonder why you even tried
    He was such a good pretender
    The love you gave was all in vain
    And nothing anyone can say
    Could ever make you love that way again
    It's the lover not the love
    Who broke your heart last night
    It's the lover not the dream
    That didn't work out right
    If you listen to your heart
    Ooh you'll know it's true
    IT'S THE LOVER NOT THE LOVE
    WHO DESERTED YOU
    DON'T STOP REACHING FOR THE STARS
    LET TOMORROW LIVE INSIDE YOU
    AND JUST REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
    KEEP THE FAITH AND LOVE WILL FIND YOU
    A HEART IN LOVE CAN LOSE IT'S TRUE
    BUT DON'T GIVE UP IN TIME TO FIND
    THE ONE WHO'S RIGHT WILL COME TO YOU
    It's the lover not the love
    Who broke your heart last night
    It's the lover not the dream
    That didn't work out right
    If you listen to your heart
    Ooh you'll know it's true
    It's the lover not the love
    Who deserted you
    It does no good to second guess
    Whether love is wrong or right
    If it was really meant to be
    He'd be with you tonight, tonight, oh yeah....

    It's the lover not the love
    Who broke your heart last night
    It's the lover not the dream
    That didn't work out right
    If you listen to your heart
    Ooh you'll know it's true
    It's the lover not the love
    Who deserted you
    Ooh

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T29YKNHCyDQ


  14. #44
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Wow thanks for sharing that song Filbrit, it fits exactly :P It really was the lover hehe.

    Looking back, I feel so foolish for doing all that for him, but oh well I was just being true to my feelings and at least I gave it shot :P I think it's better than still living in a fantasy.


  15. #45
    Moderator Steve.r's Avatar
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    What a loser that guy is. Better off without somone like that. But there is a knight in shining arour out there, be strong.
    If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up


  16. #46
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Thank you Steve! Fingers crossed there is someone for me and that I'll meet him soon


  17. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by filbrit View Post
    hello there softmallowgum. i'm sad to read about your story but you know what you were saved from that bad guy because you deserve better. God bless you. don't stop looking for love and as the song goes:

    He broke your heart and said goodbye
    After promising forever
    You wonder why you even tried
    He was such a good pretender
    The love you gave was all in vain
    And nothing anyone can say
    Could ever make you love that way again
    It's the lover not the love
    Who broke your heart last night
    It's the lover not the dream
    That didn't work out right
    If you listen to your heart
    Ooh you'll know it's true
    IT'S THE LOVER NOT THE LOVE
    WHO DESERTED YOU
    DON'T STOP REACHING FOR THE STARS
    LET TOMORROW LIVE INSIDE YOU
    AND JUST REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
    KEEP THE FAITH AND LOVE WILL FIND YOU
    A HEART IN LOVE CAN LOSE IT'S TRUE
    BUT DON'T GIVE UP IN TIME TO FIND
    THE ONE WHO'S RIGHT WILL COME TO YOU
    It's the lover not the love
    Who broke your heart last night
    It's the lover not the dream
    That didn't work out right
    If you listen to your heart
    Ooh you'll know it's true
    It's the lover not the love
    Who deserted you
    It does no good to second guess
    Whether love is wrong or right
    If it was really meant to be
    He'd be with you tonight, tonight, oh yeah....

    It's the lover not the love
    Who broke your heart last night
    It's the lover not the dream
    That didn't work out right
    If you listen to your heart
    Ooh you'll know it's true
    It's the lover not the love
    Who deserted you
    Ooh

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T29YKNHCyDQ

    I remember that song by Tiffany...


  18. #48
    Member Ian S's Avatar
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    Such a sad story softmallowgum and I really feel your pain but just remember these things:

    1/ It could have been worse, much worse. I've heard some bad stories about girls that have gone overseas to meet a man.

    2/ Good things come from everything, and I think you have already learnt a lot from this experience. I don't think you are going to waste your time with another loser like that. Next time you will have to be sure he is the right kind of guy before you meet him.

    3/ You are a good person I think and you WILL meet a nice guy. Don't give up. I wish you all the best luck.


  19. #49
    Member softmallowgum's Avatar
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    Thanks so much Ian

    It's true, it could've been much, much worse (I think I've watched too many movies to know where it could've gone, lol). And yeah, I have learned a lot from it all. Now I'm just focusing all of my energies on 're-building' myself, so that I can be ready for when I meet the one who is true and genuine.

    I really want to thank you (and everyone else here) for believing that I will find a nice guy. Even if I don't personally know all of you guys, reading all of your words and encouragement gives me hope. It makes me see that I'm worthy of someone better than him. I don't have the best self-esteem in the world and often I consider just settling with people like that, but whenever I feel that way, I just come back here and read all of your replies again and again to make me feel better. :P Thank you all so much, you don't know how much this all means to me


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