What do you think of a guy who is afraid to be married?

[Vische]

Im really thinking why some guy in the right age, right status and promise a lot of things to a woman like it is so serious but doesn't want to get married ..

How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?

this is really a confusion to me, for all i know i've met a couple of guys and they skip out when they heard about the marriage thing

[RickyR]

Commitment? Making a decision? Being Responsible? All seems too difficult for some people.

[Vische]

Commitment? Making a decision? Being Responsible? All seems too difficult for some people.

Yeah i know its quite the factors but if the guy demands something from you but does not want to get married, what does it mean, the girl is just a past time?

[lastlid]

How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?

The million dollar question, Vische. My wife's sister has just split up irreversibly after barely a year or so of marriage. I have seen their wedding pictures. She will have had no idea how short her marriage was due to last....and she had known the man she had married for years.

[lastlid]

How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?

Easy....

[Vische]

Easy....

Thanks Lastlid, this video is quite good Cher, winona and kat are so young

Oh i guess i just let it be, what will be will be ...

[lastlid]

Thanks Lastlid, this video is quite good Cher, winona and kat are so young

Oh i guess i just let it be, what will be will be ...

I think there is always going to be an element of risk.

In the case of my wife's sister, I was so shocked given that the Philippine attitude towards divorce is so strict. All the more reason to try and get it right first time....

[Vische]

I think there is always going to be an element of risk.

In the case of my wife's sister, I was so shocked given that the Philippine attitude towards divorce is so strict. All the more reason to try and get it right first time....

Yeah i guess so but it just confuse me since i thought we're on the same page, but i guess not..

[Vische]

I envy you guys cause all of you seem to be very serious when you search for your partners here in the Philippines, guess im out of range with luck with guys hahahaha

[Terpe]

I envy you guys cause all of you seem to be very serious when you search for your partners here in the Philippines, guess im out of range with luck with guys hahahaha

Vische, it's an age old question with no 'simple fix'.
But it seems to me you already know and understand the issues. You already display most of the qualities and wisdom in identification of the solutions.
But........
Maybe your confusion is really a question about commitment in finally deciding the way?

[mickcant]

There are women like that too, it is just hard finding a partner with the same ideas of commitment
The more you put into a good relationship the more better it is for both.
Mick

[Vische]

There are women like that too, it is just hard finding a partner with the same idears of commitment
The more you put into a good relationship the more better it is for both.
Mick

Yeah Mick, i guess its hard to be on the same page afterall .... thanks

[grahamw48]

Already married ?

I had no SERIOUS desire to get married right up to meeting the ex when I was 38....and actually wish I'd remained single now.

Some people are happy being single.

You need to to do some serious talking (not nagging) and hopefully you'll receive an honest answer from the guy.
Each person will have their own reasons. We can only guess, which isn't really helpful.

[Vische]

Already married ?

I had no SERIOUS desire to get married right up to meeting the ex when I was 38....and actually wish I'd remained single now.

Some people are happy being single.

You need to to do some serious talking (not nagging) and hopefully you'll receive an honest answer from the guy.
Each person will have their own reasons. We can only guess, which isn't really helpful.

Yeah i guess but since he doesn't divulge what really happen in his past is really hard to understand what he wants its like im reading a different book ...

[grahamw48]

If your partner doesn't even want to share his past with you, why would you be thinking about a serious relationship with him, let alone marriage ?

[Merry]

If your partner doesn't even want to share his past with you, why would you be thinking about a serious relationship with him, let alone marriage ?

hmmm,,,that reminded me of my ex....It is only now that I recall we never talk about marriage after 4 yrs of relationship ....He just kept saying we will be together soon...that he will save for us to be together

I finally realized he is one of those British guys who just doesn't embrace commitment!

My friends say that he must have preferred the local girl (an English woman) over me not because he can no longer afford me but because he didn't want to miss his daily dose


I felt bad because I really thought he is real but I guess I fell into the wrong guy. Glad now that we are done.

[Arthur Little]

hmmm,,,that reminded me of my ex....It is only now that I recall we never talk about marriage after 4 yrs of relationship ....He just kept saying we will be together soon...that he will save for us to be together

I finally realized he is one of those British guys who just doesn't embrace commitment!

It's better late than never ...

My friends say that he must have preferred the local girl (an English woman) over me not because he can no longer afford me but because he didn't want to miss his daily dose


I felt bad because I really thought he is real but I guess I fell into the wrong guy. Glad now that we are done.

... and please don't feel bad about it! ... seems to me your ex was a commitment phobe - who'd simply been "leading you a 'merry' dance"!

[imagine]

over the years i have seen friends who have lived together for 4 or 5 yrs, and quite happy, even had children, then they decided to get married, after being married for 1 year they break up,
does being married put pressure on that relationship
at the end of the day it is the relationship that matters that is what bonds 2 people together not a piece of paper to say they are married,
i think in general marrage seems to be more important to the woman,

in my opinion nothing past or present should be hidden the book must be open and the pages seen,
nothing hidden, no lies,
only truth trust and love can join two people as one

[Iani]

Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?
Maybe they are at a certain age where they think no way to marriage.
Maybe they are in their 30's, 40's etc, and are not married - and this just shows what sort of guys they are - guys who do not want to get married.

Maybe they have come out of a messy divorce, and just like someone who has been bitten by a dog isn't going to want to visit a kennel?

As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........it's so strange. We all know people that has happened to, including my best friend. Madness!

[Vische]

Thank you guys for your wonderful insights, i guess that thing about the past is what i want to uncover since i already told all about my past then if it does not work then i say its not gonna work, like the saying says 'it needs two to tango' not only one

[imagine]

Thank you guys for your wonderful insights, i guess that thing about the past is what i want to uncover since i already told all about my past then if it does not work then i say its not gonna work, like the saying says 'it needs two to tango' not only one

in some respects , do we really need to know of their past, do we have a right to know? or is it just down to trust ?

[Vische]

in some respects , do we really need to know of their past, do we have a right to know? or is it just down to trust ?

Yeah i guess its respect i don't want anyone to force them to tell me things they don't want to reveal to me but the thing is i trust him with my past so can he even give me a hint of the things happened in his past even just a glimpse /summary hahaha, i guess he doesn't trust me much maybe he thinks im like his girl in the past. Well i guess i just have to trust God whatever his plan to me or to us

Mada mada dane, I think i just have to live a life on my own for awhile just wondering if it will be more interesting Thanks imaginee you really have so many insights on this

[Arthur Little]

As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........

... funny you should mention that! I've known this to happen with many couples. It's almost as if - by finally "taking the plunge" - they suddenly found themselves engulfed by overwhelming feelings of entrapment ... to which they'd hitherto been unaccustomed.

[Vische]

Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?
Maybe they are at a certain age where they think no way to marriage.
Maybe they are in their 30's, 40's etc, and are not married - and this just shows what sort of guys they are - guys who do not want to get married.

Maybe they have come out of a messy divorce, and just like someone who has been bitten by a dog isn't going to want to visit a kennel?

As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........it's so strange. We all know people that has happened to, including my best friend. Madness!

yeah madness ... a guy who can't conquer his fear for his love i guess i don't earn it yet .... possible i didn't pass the standard

[Iani]

yeah madness ... a guy who can't conquer his fear for his love i guess i don't earn it yet .... possible i didn't pass the standard

Don't say that, that makes me quite sad to hear you knock yourself if anything, it's his loss, never knock yourself

[Vische]

Don't say that, that makes me quite sad to hear you knock yourself if anything, it's his loss, never knock yourself

Yeah i needed that iani a hug waaaahhhh im still a crybaby hahahaha

[imagine]

Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?

its when she turns up on the first date in her wedding dress thats a put off

[Vische]

its when she turns up on the first date in her wedding dress thats a put off

good one Imagine

[grahamw48]

What if they had been a mass murderer or a rapist....or just STILL MARRIED ?

Secrets or an unknown past in a relationship are never a good starting point IMO.

[imagine]

What if they had been a mass murderer or a rapist....or just STILL MARRIED ?

Secrets or an unknown past in a relationship are never a good starting point IMO.

well there is that,, but surely there must be certain things you might just prefer to keep to yourself that only you know,, where do you draw the line,
personally i dont think there should be anything hidden,, but isnt it down to choice , after all the past is past, its what is now that matters most