Disclaimer: By posting on this web site it is accepted that you have agreed to our Terms. Please DO NOT publish copyrighted material/pictures without the owner’s permission, you are liable for any costs incurred.


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 46
  1. #1
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48

    What do you think of a guy who is afraid to be married?

    Im really thinking why some guy in the right age, right status and promise a lot of things to a woman like it is so serious but doesn't want to get married ..

    How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?

    this is really a confusion to me, for all i know i've met a couple of guys and they skip out when they heard about the marriage thing


  2. #2
    Respected Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    2,557
    Rep Power
    112
    Commitment? Making a decision? Being Responsible? All seems too difficult for some people.


  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    G.B. (IOM)
    Posts
    8,776
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Vische View Post

    How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?
    The million dollar question, Vische. My wife's sister has just split up irreversibly after barely a year or so of marriage. I have seen their wedding pictures. She will have had no idea how short her marriage was due to last....and she had known the man she had married for years.


  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    G.B. (IOM)
    Posts
    8,776
    Rep Power
    0
    How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?
    Easy....



  5. #5
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Isle of Wight UK
    Posts
    2,953
    Rep Power
    150
    There are women like that too, it is just hard finding a partner with the same ideas of commitment
    The more you put into a good relationship the more better it is for both.
    Mick


  6. #6
    Trusted Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Pangasinan
    Posts
    25,596
    Rep Power
    150
    Already married ?

    I had no SERIOUS desire to get married right up to meeting the ex when I was 38....and actually wish I'd remained single now.

    Some people are happy being single.

    You need to to do some serious talking (not nagging) and hopefully you'll receive an honest answer from the guy.
    Each person will have their own reasons. We can only guess, which isn't really helpful.


  7. #7
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by RickyR View Post
    Commitment? Making a decision? Being Responsible? All seems too difficult for some people.
    Yeah i know its quite the factors but if the guy demands something from you but does not want to get married, what does it mean, the girl is just a past time?


  8. #8
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    There are women like that too, it is just hard finding a partner with the same idears of commitment
    The more you put into a good relationship the more better it is for both.
    Mick
    Yeah Mick, i guess its hard to be on the same page afterall .... thanks


  9. #9
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by lastlid View Post
    Easy....

    Thanks Lastlid, this video is quite good Cher, winona and kat are so young

    Oh i guess i just let it be, what will be will be ...


  10. #10
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    Already married ?

    I had no SERIOUS desire to get married right up to meeting the ex when I was 38....and actually wish I'd remained single now.

    Some people are happy being single.

    You need to to do some serious talking (not nagging) and hopefully you'll receive an honest answer from the guy.
    Each person will have their own reasons. We can only guess, which isn't really helpful.
    Yeah i guess but since he doesn't divulge what really happen in his past is really hard to understand what he wants its like im reading a different book ...


  11. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    G.B. (IOM)
    Posts
    8,776
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Vische View Post
    Thanks Lastlid, this video is quite good Cher, winona and kat are so young

    Oh i guess i just let it be, what will be will be ...
    I think there is always going to be an element of risk.

    In the case of my wife's sister, I was so shocked given that the Philippine attitude towards divorce is so strict. All the more reason to try and get it right first time....


  12. #12
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by lastlid View Post
    I think there is always going to be an element of risk.

    In the case of my wife's sister, I was so shocked given that the Philippine attitude towards divorce is so strict. All the more reason to try and get it right first time....
    Yeah i guess so but it just confuse me since i thought we're on the same page, but i guess not..


  13. #13
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    I envy you guys cause all of you seem to be very serious when you search for your partners here in the Philippines, guess im out of range with luck with guys hahahaha


  14. #14
    Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Marikina City
    Posts
    26,785
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by Vische View Post
    I envy you guys cause all of you seem to be very serious when you search for your partners here in the Philippines, guess im out of range with luck with guys hahahaha
    Vische, it's an age old question with no 'simple fix'.
    But it seems to me you already know and understand the issues. You already display most of the qualities and wisdom in identification of the solutions.
    But........
    Maybe your confusion is really a question about commitment in finally deciding the way?


  15. #15
    Trusted Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Pangasinan
    Posts
    25,596
    Rep Power
    150
    If your partner doesn't even want to share his past with you, why would you be thinking about a serious relationship with him, let alone marriage ?


  16. #16
    Member Merry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    21
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    If your partner doesn't even want to share his past with you, why would you be thinking about a serious relationship with him, let alone marriage ?
    hmmm,,,that reminded me of my ex....It is only now that I recall we never talk about marriage after 4 yrs of relationship ....He just kept saying we will be together soon...that he will save for us to be together

    I finally realized he is one of those British guys who just doesn't embrace commitment!

    My friends say that he must have preferred the local girl (an English woman) over me not because he can no longer afford me but because he didn't want to miss his daily dose


    I felt bad because I really thought he is real but I guess I fell into the wrong guy. Glad now that we are done.



  17. #17
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    7,016
    Rep Power
    150
    over the years i have seen friends who have lived together for 4 or 5 yrs, and quite happy, even had children, then they decided to get married, after being married for 1 year they break up,
    does being married put pressure on that relationship
    at the end of the day it is the relationship that matters that is what bonds 2 people together not a piece of paper to say they are married,
    i think in general marrage seems to be more important to the woman,

    in my opinion nothing past or present should be hidden the book must be open and the pages seen,
    nothing hidden, no lies,
    only truth trust and love can join two people as one


  18. #18
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    City of Perth, Scotland
    Posts
    24,230
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by Merry View Post
    hmmm,,,that reminded me of my ex....It is only now that I recall we never talk about marriage after 4 yrs of relationship ....He just kept saying we will be together soon...that he will save for us to be together

    I finally realized he is one of those British guys who just doesn't embrace commitment!
    It's better late than never ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Merry View Post
    My friends say that he must have preferred the local girl (an English woman) over me not because he can no longer afford me but because he didn't want to miss his daily dose


    I felt bad because I really thought he is real but I guess I fell into the wrong guy. Glad now that we are done.

    ... and please don't feel bad about it! ... seems to me your ex was a commitment phobe - who'd simply been "leading you a 'merry' dance"!


  19. #19
    Respected Member Iani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Sunny Yorkshire, ey oop
    Posts
    1,378
    Rep Power
    109
    Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?
    Maybe they are at a certain age where they think no way to marriage.
    Maybe they are in their 30's, 40's etc, and are not married - and this just shows what sort of guys they are - guys who do not want to get married.

    Maybe they have come out of a messy divorce, and just like someone who has been bitten by a dog isn't going to want to visit a kennel?

    As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........it's so strange. We all know people that has happened to, including my best friend. Madness!


  20. #20
    Respected Member Vische's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Manila
    Posts
    281
    Rep Power
    48
    Thank you guys for your wonderful insights, i guess that thing about the past is what i want to uncover since i already told all about my past then if it does not work then i say its not gonna work, like the saying says 'it needs two to tango' not only one


  21. #21
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    City of Perth, Scotland
    Posts
    24,230
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by Iani View Post

    As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........
    ... funny you should mention that! I've known this to happen with many couples. It's almost as if - by finally "taking the plunge" - they suddenly found themselves engulfed by overwhelming feelings of entrapment ... to which they'd hitherto been unaccustomed.


  22. #22
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    7,016
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by Vische View Post
    Thank you guys for your wonderful insights, i guess that thing about the past is what i want to uncover since i already told all about my past then if it does not work then i say its not gonna work, like the saying says 'it needs two to tango' not only one
    in some respects , do we really need to know of their past, do we have a right to know? or is it just down to trust ?


  23. #23
    Trusted Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Pangasinan
    Posts
    25,596
    Rep Power
    150
    What if they had been a mass murderer or a rapist....or just STILL MARRIED ?

    Secrets or an unknown past in a relationship are never a good starting point IMO.


  24. #24
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    7,016
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    What if they had been a mass murderer or a rapist....or just STILL MARRIED ?

    Secrets or an unknown past in a relationship are never a good starting point IMO.
    well there is that,, but surely there must be certain things you might just prefer to keep to yourself that only you know,, where do you draw the line,
    personally i dont think there should be anything hidden,, but isnt it down to choice , after all the past is past, its what is now that matters most


  25. #25
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    City of Perth, Scotland
    Posts
    24,230
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    the past is past
    It IS, Stewart ... ! But sometimes it can be difficult to let go of it.


  26. #26
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    7,016
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    It IS, Stewart ... ! But sometimes it can be difficult to let go of it.
    with that,,, true true


  27. #27
    Trusted Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Pangasinan
    Posts
    25,596
    Rep Power
    150
    ...and some of us have a longer past than others.


  28. #28
    Respected Member Maria B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    West Midlands
    Posts
    866
    Rep Power
    60
    They might be at the right age & status in life & are good in making promises but they aren't ready for commitment. Some have bad past experiences, some still enjoyed the single lifestyle, some are not matured enough to tell the truth that marriage is not in their list yet, financially not stable to give their future wife a comfortable life...


    It's not easy to tell. Different individuals. Some are full of surprises some are just boring ooopsss. Some are not good in showing off the love they had for a lady, some are too much showy...it's only u who can tell. Actions speaks louder than words. It's not that the lady is still young & beautiful. You can tell by his actions if he's for real. Don't be blinded by gifts coz some are good at it. It all comes along everyday that you are together. That's why dating is important coz it's how u get to know each other. There are signs.

    Don't be confuse. It just gives u a stress. Enjoy your life being single. It will just come along. Instead go out with family & friends, have a healthy lifestyle & keep smiling...one day that smile will capture a true man's heart. Having a relationship it's not that easy. It's always a two way not one way. If you are looking for a marriage type of man, don't waste your time to a man who can't give you what u are looking for. Marriage is not only the answer to every relationship. It takes time, it's reality & not a game. If there are signs that he's not right for you then he's not the one that you are looking for in a husband. Take your time. Just enjoy being single. It will be worst when u are trap in a marriage & found out too late that a man you married is a person that will just break your heart. Marriage is not always a bed of roses, there are also thorns. Keep smiling chick!
    If you can't say something nice. SHUT UP!. Simple.


  29. #29
    Respected Member malditako's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    derby, UK
    Posts
    1,287
    Rep Power
    81
    if a man truly loves you he would marry you...no buts no ifs


  30. #30
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    City of Perth, Scotland
    Posts
    24,230
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    with that,,, true true ...
    ... particularly if it comes back to haunt us.


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Stuff about other members you wanted to know but were too afraid to ask!
    By Ako Si Jamie in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 27th July 2011, 21:13
  2. Afraid of email scams;(
    By im_rhen in forum Help & Advice
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 9th February 2010, 11:23
  3. What are you afraid of?
    By britishdetained in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 29th July 2009, 15:49
  4. afraid of what is next..
    By sphinx in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 21st May 2008, 15:34
  5. help! i'll meet my BF in December (happy&afraid)
    By h0ney_c in forum Help & Advice
    Replies: 211
    Last Post: 20th November 2007, 14:58

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum