Have Filipino Girlfriend in uk.But she is married to a much older man. Help please

[GaryCambs]

You think THATS elaborate Read Mickcants story,now HIS is elaborate!

Didnt you ask to be her boyfriend?

I Belive I have read some of mickCants story within the forums. But in his situation his fiance or whatever she was,, used the tale to extract money. This lady (lets give her a name to simplify postings, we will call here Ann )has not asked me for anything other than advice and help, if I am able to give it , so that she may gain the courage to extract herself and her children from a very distructive situation. She does now have a job working in a nursing home so would be able to support herself and children.
I am as positive this is is not a fabricated story. If we were talking of an English girl in the same situation would you then say it is a story fabricated for gain I doubt it.
She simply does not know what to do......her priority is to her children and their future which would be far better here in the uk. Yes I have of course suggested various agencies who would be able to help her. She is so afraid however that if she approaches any organisation it will result in her deportation. As she said to me the other day '' I would only do something to help myself if I could be 100% sure that I would still be able to get leave to remain visa and give my children a future here in the uk''.
Yet she does not know how to get the clarification she needs. I ask you guys on here who are married to filipino ladies in the same circumstanceswould you wife have known what to do after only just over a year in the uk 9 months of which she had been totally isolated. Ann did not even know how to apply for a credit card. !!

[GaryCambs]

The Lady (Ann) has more than adequate reasons to obtain a divorce under uk law. Easily domestic abuse maybe even dometic violence and sexuall harrasment.
Thats not the problem. The problem is what happens to her after the divorce. She wants to avoid deportation back to poverty in the fifilopenes for the sake of her children.

[grahamw48]

So, she is more interested in not being deported, than in the welfare of herself and her children ?

'Economic gain'. Can't see that going down well with the UKBA.

There are millions in that queue....many currently starving to death.

[Jimbojac]

I think you have analysed this situation well Gary, i first read this thread a while ago and thought you may have been taken in a bit by this woman but it seems that she maybe very genuine in her plight here.
There are many " sick" individuals out there that seek to control and physcologically torture others and this woman could be a victim of one of these twisted individuals.
Help her as a friend and good things could come about from your friendship, most Filipina women are " good " people and it is perhaps fortunate for you that she chooses you to help her, maybe she sees in you something caring and is attracted to that?
Good luck and best wishes.

[GaryCambs]

Graham How can a mother, who is prepared to take at least emotional abuse maybe even physical, in order to give her children a better life be classified as doing it for economic gain ???. Ann came to the uk in good faith having been duped by the promises of her ''husband'' that he loved her, would care for her and her children etc. She sold everything she had in the filipenes and has nothing other than poverty to return to. Instead of the love and care promised just weeks after her marriage she is subjected to sexual harrasment from her husbands older son, with the knowledge even encouragement of her ,husband discovers her husband has a uk girlfriend, has to sit by while he has online flirtations via chat with three other women still in the uk (proven fact) Takes emotional abuse and untill very recently (when she joined the local catholic church and met other filipinos) was isolated from anything or anyone her husband did not want her to see. Ann now works very hard sometimes long and even double shifts in a nursing home to support herself and her children she would ask nothing of the state (unlike the many scroungers of our own nationality) . Her choices seem to be
1) Be willing to submit to being introduced to her husbands mistriss, watch him chat and send money to online girlfriends in the filopines, provide housekeeping services , , accept the occasional bout of temper and emotional abuse from her husband, live in fear of visits from her husbands son.
If she accepts this she and her children can stay in the uk.
If she does not comply she, and more importantly to her, her children, get deported back to nothing abject poverty.
The world has gone mad if a mother wanting what is best for her childrens future can be called Economic gain. !!!!!!!

[GaryCambs]

Thank you It is good to see that some people on this forum can relate to the topic how it actually is instead of always reading dark motives into the situation. At this moment in time I have no regard to wether or not '' good things may come about of our friendship'' ok as they say we never know what the future holds but the priority now is how I can help her ?? not for any gain or reason other than being a caring individual who has stumbled across a situation that is so unjust. I do not know HOW to help her. She obviously wants to extract herself from the distructive situation, has more than enough grounds for divorce, and can support herself and children. However she is in fear that if she takes any form of legal action it will result in her deportation and as a result will not do so unless she can be 100% sure this will not happen. She has asked me how to find out if she could seperate from her husband and divorce yet still be 100% sure she will be granted her ilr visa. If any one can supply the answer I would be very gratefull. Thanks:

[Steve.r]

However she is in fear that if she takes any form of legal action it will result in her deportation and as a result will not do so unless she can be 100% sure this will not happen. She has asked me how to find out if she could seperate from her husband and divorce yet still be 100% sure she will be granted her ilr visa.

Appears that you have had plenty of advice already, she is not willing to help herself. She is worried that she might not get her ILR, I call that a little selfish to be honest, and will be seen as 'economic gain' by the UKBA. If i was in that situation I would take myself back home to a place and people who know and love me. The family support from home will be far better than her being here under threat of abuse, yet she does nothing to help herself.
You are getting tangled up in a web of stories and trying to help, but you are going round in circles.
A sad situation for sure, but what will she do... nothing??? , who will support her? I guess you and me will through our tax £'s ... is that fair

[Terpe]

.... I do not know HOW to help her. She obviously wants to extract herself from the distructive situation, has more than enough grounds for divorce, and can support herself and children. However she is in fear that if she takes any form of legal action it will result in her deportation and as a result will not do so unless she can be 100% sure this will not happen. She has asked me how to find out if she could seperate from her husband and divorce yet still be 100% sure she will be granted her ilr visa. If any one can supply the answer I would be very gratefull. Thanks:

GaryCambs, firstly she must understand that there is not a 100% sure way to a any kind of visa.
Now, if you want to help her we must establish some simple facts and move forward step by step within the framework of immigration rules, British Law and EU law. Someone is going to have to provide financial support also.

1. Are you prepared to fund the needed actions? or Can she support?
2. What is her current visa status? I am guessing she has FLR and will be applying for ILR at her next step right?
3. How long has she been LIVING IN UK with FLR status? What exact date did her FLR begin? and What exact date does her FLR expire?
4. Did she already pass the Life In UK test?
5. Is she working?

Be informed that English divorce law is not quite as simple as you may think. If you have some interest do some research. There are only five valid reasons.

Always solutions when step by step.

[GaryCambs]

Thanks for your reply Terpe.

Ann came to uk with fiance visa december 2009. Now has spouse visa, is that F L R?
She tells me she can apply for ILR april/may 2012 I think her present visa expire june 2012. Both her and her daughter (18 in december) study for life in uk test and will take soon. She als has son age 10. I have some knowledge of uk divorce law having been through a long hurtfull divorce battle myself.

[GaryCambs]

Steve Ann as a job she can support herself.
She has nothig left in the filllopenes to return to a

[Steve.r]

She has nothig left in the filllopenes to return to

I understand that is how she feels, as she told you she has 'nothing' in Phils, but she 'has' family and support there... it seems she has nothing here.

[grahamw48]

I agree Steve.

The OP should really leave the young lady's newly-found Filipino friends/community to help and advise her.

I'm sorry to say Gary, but at present you are obviously quite naive in the matters being discussed, and in particular about the Philippines and its culture.

Unless you do some serious research (most of what you need to know is available on here, should you decide to do a simple search), then you are likely to do more harm than good.

[Maria B]

I am pretty much confusd. Maybe someone could answer some simpple questions for me.
1) Could the lady in question divorce her husband now after being married just over a year.?
2) if she did what would happen to her. She claims she does have alternative accomodation, she has a fulltime job and can support her children, She says if she divorces before her permenant visa her and her children get sent home. Is this true. ??

Garycrambs,
in your no.1 yes she can divorce her husband
in your no. 2 because she had children, she may contact the council with regards to accomodation. Also if she seeks proper legal advise & alligations are true & that she was brought here in marriage under false pretenses, u will find under the legal representative here will give her the right to remain.

***in #86, hope u got all the links & numbers for her to contact.

[Tawi2]

she had been kept a virtual prisoner

But was able to attend at least one party and a few dates with you who looked after the children while she was socialising