Long Distance Relationship

[sars_notd_virus]

How do you deal with it?????

Is it the same as short distance relationship?????
*be honest with each other
*be faithful with each other
*trust each other
*try not to bug each other too much


... You only get out of the relationship what u are prepared to put in ...so if u dont make much effort, dont be surprised if u get dumped!!!

[-sillybilly-]

OUCH!

what if you've put all your effort in, tried to be honest as much as you can.....and still you get dumped?

[sars_notd_virus]

OUCH!

what if you've put all your effort in, tried to be honest as much as you can.....and still you get dumped?

Its better to try and fail than not try at all


So,is short and long distance relationship the same to you???

[-sillybilly-]

Its better to try and fail than not try at all


So,is short and long distance relationship the same to you???

Nah! I find it difficult when we werent together and had misunderstanding. it frustrates us both as we know the fact that we certainly need each other...thinking if were only together we could have spoken about stuff very well without any pressure.

And its very scary aswell because since you didnt wonna loose the person you just have to agree with almost everything. Not like when you're not together, with my experienced i couldnt even make tampo!

I couldnt commit myself going out late at nights with my friends a i didnt wonna missed his phone calls, or he might go online all of a sudden.

Been through difficult times during the long distance relationship, but we got there in the end.
And now were together i try my best in everything i can to make him happy and he does makes me happy in return.

[josh0602]

Long distance relationships are definitely tougher to handle than short distance relationships. Honesty and loyalty is really a big issue since you do not see each other that often but as what the saying implies.. "distance makes the heart grow fonder." I think it is also good to miss someone everyday.

[KeithD]

I claim the 5th

[shrek48]

any relationship is hard work. the rewards should outway the hardwork.

[Arthur Little]

Long distance relationships are definitely tougher to handle than short distance relationships. Honesty and loyalty is really a big issue since you do not see each other that often but as what the saying implies.. "distance makes the heart grow fonder." I think it is also good to miss someone everyday.

Josh ... to the filipino/uk forum. LDRs CAN be - and often ARE - fraught with many trials & tribulations ... not least, the resultant anxieties arising from the complications inherent in the visa process ... in terms of both the financial and emotional costs. But for most of us involved, these issues are more than compensated for by very REAL excitement tempered with the confidence that all will be well in the end!

[rani]

any relationship is hard work. the rewards should outway the hardwork.

you need to study shrek

[jonnijon]

Its been 8 years long distance for me,and still another year to go until I retire to Phills.But in that time we have built a house and set up a small business and we miss each other madly.

[sars_notd_virus]

So is it true that most Long Distance Relationship is not thru choice but by necessity for partners to be together????

[malditako]

what i remember is me and hubby always argue when we weren't together...for me whats important aside from all u mentioned is respect...and know that even he/she is ur partner they still need some space and privacy as individual...

[raynaputi]

LDRs for me are the same as short distance ones, only that LDRs tends to need more commitment to work the relationship out..both types of relationship need lots of effort to become successful in it..and if one slips out any of the basics (i.e. trust, understanding, faithfulness, etc.), it has a big possibility the relationship won't work..of course don't forget that relationships need to have fun too..you can say that all the right attitude are put in the relationship, but if one/both of them isn't happy of the situation or is not having fun, it will just end eventually..

[steve monty]

what i remember is me and hubby always argue when we weren't together...for me whats important aside from all u mentioned is respect...and know that even he/she is ur partner they still need some space and privacy as individual...

I agree, being apart from my fiance does seem to bring about a little moodiness in the both of us. That is mainly because we are missing each other and loving so much!

long and short distance relationships are the same in my opinion, you still need those qualities of being honest, faithful and respect irrespective of distance.

[Terpe]

LDR for me is all about trust.
Of course you miss each other so much and sometimes communication is difficult b'coz of time difference.
But as long as you both have a clear and positive vision of the future it can work.
As for me I had LDR for two years (with visits every 6 months or so) which was very stressful for both. But we made it!!!
Sometimes I wonder how and why with so many obstacles!! I feel you need more than just 'I love you'
You need trust, honesty and open communication
Just my two pesoworth [is there such a word?]

[rani]

it's excitingly difficult

[josh0602]

Josh ... to the filipino/uk forum. LDRs CAN be - and often ARE - fraught with many trials & tribulations ... not least, the resultant anxieties arising from the complications inherent in the visa process ... in terms of both the financial and emotional costs. But for most of us involved, these issues are more than compensated for by very REAL excitement tempered with the confidence that all will be well in the end!

Thanks for the welcome, Arthur! Happy to be here and much happier to read stories like this.

[keithAngel]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

out of sight

[tomboo]

for me its about understanding as much as possible about each other, honesty and trust is everything, the minute one of these goes it becomes the beginning of the end, sure there are times when its easy to misunderstand words in a message so i find it best to call often by phone even if for a few mins, in a phone call or skype call you can feel the emotions, in just messaging its easy to read something in a different way to what it was meant.

[KeithD]

.....there are times when its easy to misunderstand words in a message so i find it best to call often by phone even if for a few mins, in a phone call or skype call you can feel the emotions, in just messaging its easy to read something in a different way to what it was meant.

This is the most common problem, especially when you include British humour that is often taken as fact at the other end, as well as the wonderful English language meaning more than one context can be taken out of a single sentence.

[Arthur Little]

for me its about understanding as much as possible about each other ......... so i find it best to call often by phone even if for a few mins, in a phone call or skype call you can feel the emotions, in just messaging its easy to read something in a different way to what it was meant.

Hmm ... maybe it's something to do with me being an but, until joining this site, I'd never so much as heard of Skype! Instead, my then girlfriend - now wife - and myself communicated on a more or less daily basis for almost one year before we met in person. That way we avoided misunderstandings because I was better able to think as I typed.

[Ayumbar]

LDR's are like starting out along a tight-rope. It's not going to be an easy journey and there's a chance of a few good wobbles along the way. If the relationship keeps it's balance, then it will make it to the other side. If the wobbles are too servere the relationship falls off before it reaches the other side.

That said this could apply to any type of relationship

For me I had a long discussion with my lady friend recently. Although we have agreed in principle to meet in early 2011, both with the idea of looking at having a relationship, it seems this potential relationship has already been tested. After being informed by my lady friend yesterday that she went out for two dates with a guy (someone who lives a few hours away from her) in USA, it did raise an eyebrow.

Having discussed this subject with her after she opened up, it was a certainly a surprise to say the least, but I realise at the end of the day there is nothing I can do. I was understanding of why she did so - we had not communicated for a week as I was unavailable for online chat. I appreciated the fact she was at least open and honest with me. We still hope to meet in early 2011, despite the temptations she clearly faces.

We have now exchanged mobile phone numbers, so we can SMS each other when we want to.

Ayum

[Sim11UK]

Ayumbar they wont believe you are coming to visit them, until you have bought your ticket.

[stevewool]

trust, talking , and being honest love happens and gets better overtime , talking and being able to say sorry is what counts , saying i love you and seeing love in each others eyes says it all , good days bad days , a long distance or living together its all about talking

[laurel]

LDR's inevitably mean the relationship will have to stand the test of time. And during the times apart you will get difficult periods and musunderstandings. Trust is obviously paramount , and making some sacrifices as well due to circumstances that prevail at the time will probably occur. Getting out there is a must , living like a filippino and not a tourist , immersing yourself as best you can in the culture also helps.

[ghee101]

you said it all. mark got a temper i used to just be quiet but lately, my own temper boils up and it's very frustrating. yeah, we make up after a few minutes (or hours!) but it has become a normal thing for us. we even though of not talking till he picks me up at the airport

The distance frustrates me G, and when I'm frustrated - I lash out. You're able to handle the distance better then me, I really REALLY hate it, I'm not saying you "don't" hate it too, I'm just saying you're better equipped to handle it then me.

It's the most frustrating, yet beautiful, stressful, yet amazing relationship I've been in. The root of my frustration is the fact that you're there and I'm here. Like I said, I know you feel the same way too, but everyone is different, and I really can't handle it. Some people can, some people can't. I've tried and tried and I keep trying and trying, but the longer we are apart, the more frustrated I get, the more I'm prone to lashing out. I can only apologise for it, but that's me.

this is just now

[Steve.r]

I think having faith in an end result is a key factor in an LDR. For me, my journey has not been easy, but I had faith in my belief that we could make it work. My asawa tested me, and I proved to her that I was not like the westerners she had met while she was studying in Singapore. Being sincere, honest and persistant paid off for me.
Today, we are apart, but since making our pledge to eachother we are so happy, connected and contented. We dont argue, we have talked about differences in how we interpret what we say and understand that sometimes we wont get it right .... but ... we have said that should these events happen, we will not get mad or sulky, but will talk through the issue without an argument. I believe that our goals and dreams are so similar that petty misunderstandings are just not worth it. It is not about giving in to her or my decisions, it is about understanding needs and feelings.

Back to LDR's and SDR's ..... similar, but different

[raynaputi]

...We dont argue, we have talked about differences in how we interpret what we say and understand that sometimes we wont get it right .... but ... we have said that should these events happen, we will not get mad or sulky, but will talk through the issue without an argument. I believe that our goals and dreams are so similar that petty misunderstandings are just not worth it. It is not about giving in to her or my decisions, it is about understanding needs and feelings.

Back to LDR's and SDR's ..... similar, but different

very well said Steve..

[ghee101]

Back to LDR's and SDR's ..... similar, but different

yes

[Kyudosha]

You know, after reading all the posts in this threat, i am so glad that I joined.

I guess for me stuck here in the UK, I was determined to find a woman with the many qualities I wanted in a long term partner or marriage partner. I have a long connection to things oriental and I yearned for someone who showed loyalty, respect and love (among many other things), which I saw were much more prevelent in the Far East.

I started my LDR in Feb. this year with the express intention of being honest and faithful, because to me that's the only way to be in a relationship. Sticking by those ideals I have found a woman (Zeth) who is exactly what I have been looking for for so long. I intend to remain honest and faithful, especially now that I can see HER loyalty and love in return.

Yes its hard. And I agree wholeheartedly with everything everyone has said here. Thanks guys. It just makes me realise that I'm on the right track.

Steve