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  1. #1
    Respected Member SteveL's Avatar
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    Cool Revenge is a dish best served cold

    This time next week, I will be on my way to Manila to get married. As some of you will no doubt appreciate, it's a wee bit stressful right now, trying to make certain i've not forgot anything important.
    Today on Yahoo, my darling tells me she's mistakenly booked her connecting flight from Dipolog to Manila for Friday next week instead of Wednesday.................after 30 minutes of complete stress she tells me she's joking and I see her and her sister falling about with laughter on the webcam.

    Anyway, back to my question...........what's the most painful form of torture known? I 'm thinking of thumb screws or telling her rice is banned in England. Any suggestions for revenge?


  2. #2
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    All you need do is feign serious illness the night before the wedding
    Keith Driscoll - Administrator
    Managing Director, Win2Win Limited


  3. #3
    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Or say I...... I....... I....... Don't....... I'm sorry, what was the question again?


  4. #4
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IainBusby View Post
    Or say I...... I....... I....... Don't....... I'm sorry, what was the question again?
    or do what i did climb out of the nearest window and , if the hotel wasn't surrounded by a fence i would have got away
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  5. #5
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    on the morning of your wedding make sure you are late and very late but make sure you can see what is happening just in case she clears off


  6. #6
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    tell her ash cloud is back and your flight have been cancelled..
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  7. #7
    Respected Member Sim11UK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    or do what i did climb out of the nearest window and , if the hotel wasn't surrounded by a fence i would have got away
    Was it a "Hotel" ? or are we talking about Strangeways?


  8. #8
    Respected Member SteveL's Avatar
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    Come on peeps, your not thinking evil here. My friend has suggested that i wait till the wedding night and them assume the rodeo position..........for those of you unfamiliar with this, its a rear entry position where after mounting you lean forward, grab both of her titties and whisper into her ear ......."hmm, these are even firmer than your sisters" then you hang on for dear life !


  9. #9
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    Ahhh a family joke
    Absit invidia

    DISCLAIMER: The information hereinabove may or may not be entirely accurate, relevant, forthright, verifiable, or coherent. KeithAngel, who shall herein be refered to as the 'Shining Beacon of Light', reserves the right to neither confirm, deny, justify, explain, or otherwise acknowledge any inquiry in regards to the validity, genuinity, construction, intent, and/or motive of any statements, gestures, and/or actions whether real, imagined, or transdimensional in origin. Further, the 'Shining Beacon of Light' shall be absolved of any and all legal, moral, and financial responsibilities for damages to life, limb, character, reputation, property, and/or business resulting from the usage, assimilation, incorporation, replication, and/or distribution of said statements whether partial, complete, misquoted, or imagined. This disclaimer remains in effect despite any discrepancies or claims as to its legibility, comprehension, interpretation, subliminal suggestiveness, political affiliation, legality, visibility, and/or physical presence


  10. #10
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sim11UK View Post
    Was it a "Hotel" ? or are we talking about Strangeways?
    a hotel worse than strangeways, you dont see armed guards at strangeways with sawn off shotguns patroling the grounds
    http://www.filipinouk.com/forum/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=870&dateline=1270312908


  11. #11
    Respected Member les_taxi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maria_and_matt View Post
    tell her ash cloud is back and your flight have been cancelled..
    I like this one,maybe tell her you can only come by boat and it will take 3 weeks


  12. #12
    Respected Member marlyn&kenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveL View Post
    Come on peeps, your not thinking evil here. My friend has suggested that i wait till the wedding night and them assume the rodeo position..........for those of you unfamiliar with this, its a rear entry position where after mounting you lean forward, grab both of her titties and whisper into her ear ......."hmm, these are even firmer than your sisters" then you hang on for dear life !
    No way, dont dare to joke about her sister's or familyyou might be in trouble... say her friend instead!
    Marlyn & Kenny forever


  13. #13
    Respected Member -sillybilly-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marlyn&kenny View Post
    No way, dont dare to joke about her sister's or familyyou might be in trouble... say her friend instead!
    oh what if she answers you back and say....hmmm...you give such a better and harder than your bestmate....
    I'm a cruel and heartless bitch but Iím damn good at it!



  14. #14
    Respected Member -sillybilly-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    All you need do is feign serious illness the night before the wedding
    or throw a cold water on her from the fridge while
    shes havin a shower! This is what my husband does to me....his revenge!
    I'm a cruel and heartless bitch but Iím damn good at it!



  15. #15
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    best to say nothing at all , just laugh together about it , but when you come back to england , tell her that you have to have 7 times a day for a week before they stamp your passport


  16. #16
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    tell her the wedding off because you just met a man
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


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