wiVES problems :)

[Ross]

what are the adjustment for a wife and hus husband wife when she comes and lives with his husband in the Uk? and how long it takes to really settle.

[stevewool]

well this is going to run for a long time i can feel it in my water, did you live as man and wife before coming here

[Ross]

well this is going to run for a long time i can feel it in my water, did you live as man and wife before coming here

oh yes back in philippines living togther for 2 years and now here stettling in UK Just at times things are hard

[stevewool]

well ross , its a big change for both of you being here , emma will be coming here july 31st so i think i shall be in your shoes for a while at least, so what problems then ross lets try and sort them out

[Ross]

well ross , its a big change for both of you being here , emma will be coming here july 31st so i think i shall be in your shoes for a while at least, so what problems then ross lets try and sort them out

yeah think i agree to you on that its just at times when you look back..things werent the same as they way it should be..well life can be tough at times anyway goodluck and sending warm regards to both of you ..

[stevewool]

we all look back and think wow great times , but its forward we all must head, sometimes life is not what we want but its down to 2 people to sort it out , it takes time and hard work and understanding from both of you , you will get there

[joebloggs]

oh yes back in philippines living togther for 2 years and now here stettling in UK Just at times things are hard

things will get better ross , my misses has been in the UK for 5yrs now, we talked a few times about her going back to the phils, but now things are finally going good for her, she doesn't talk about it any more, my misses has not seen her family for 5yrs, but soon she will again

[KeithD]

.....my misses has not seen her family for 5yrs, but soon she will again

You're going to be kind enough to let her look at the photos?

[Ross]

we all look back and think wow great times , but its forward we all must head, sometimes life is not what we want but its down to 2 people to sort it out , it takes time and hard work and understanding from both of you , you will get there

oh yeah takes a lot of effort too and knwoing you grow both and become more mature and handling things but having no slept evernight doesnt slept isnt it lovely kids we have but pain sometimes for not yet settling properly.have only an hour or so slepot every night imagine that.. plus during days ..well i know it our responsibilty as parents

[joebloggs]

You're going to be kind enough to let her look at the photos?

i let her look at the photos on her birthday every year

[stevewool]

where abouts are you ross and how amny kids , we all need sleep and thats when we become very angry lack of it , you are either to tied or wound up like a spring , once the kids are asleep you go even if its so early , thats a start

[pennybarry]

One month adjusted for my husband,
Need more years to adjust with weather.

[sparky]

i also will follow this thread with interest

myrna will be here in 2 weeks and i have to admit i am worried a little on how she will settle.

i have a lot of friends who want to help her settle but i keep telling them that she has to do it at her pace- she is painfully shy and some of my friends are rather full on

i had a thai ex who came over here and couldnt settle at all a number of years ago so ihave learned a few things from that expereince i would hope. but even so i just worry that she wont settle- the weather of course is a concern but thats something that i cannot alter

[stevewool]

hi there sparky yep soon be here mate emma is coming july 31st so lets get together after then , and i have been told buy long johns for them to wear , dont know if i was being taken the p--- out off but its a good thought ,

[KeithD]

i let her look at the photos on her birthday every year

Just HER photo's? Ones of her? So kind of you Oh Great One

[joebloggs]

Just HER photo's? Ones of her? So kind of you Oh Great One

no pictures of me of course

if she wasn't working all night and day, i would be brown bread by now if she had time to read these posts

[-sillybilly-]

i also will follow this thread with interest

myrna will be here in 2 weeks and i have to admit i am worried a little on how she will settle.

i have a lot of friends who want to help her settle but i keep telling them that she has to do it at her pace- she is painfully shy and some of my friends are rather full on

i had a thai ex who came over here and couldnt settle at all a number of years ago so ihave learned a few things from that expereince i would hope. but even so i just worry that she wont settle- the weather of course is a concern but thats something that i cannot alter

Dont worry she will settle as soon as you are together. Just have to be patient with everything she needs to learn. Filipinas are very clever and we dont surrender.

[malditako]

it took me one month to adjust with the place but on weather not yet...though i miss my family once in a while and hubby is still adjusting how to handle our little boys tuntrums as soon as she learn to go in places by herself she be fine....shopping mall is the best therapy lol

[stevewool]

there are no shopping malls in draycott

[malditako]

there are no shopping malls in draycott

luckilly i can manage to go either to derby center or nottingham lol...cant wait to got there with emma...get ur atm ready lol

[Ann07]

hi ross

i know exactly how it feels having kids....the sleepless nights...tiredness... esp in your situation having to adjust in your new place with the kids its not really easy...really hardwork having kids..its a commitment . But in due time you will be fine and the kids. You can find your nearest playgroup in your area in that way you will get in involve in different activities that will benefit you and your kids. Goodluck Ross

[somebody]

To really settle may take a while but to feel comfortable especially with you all ready knowing your hubby well should not take so long. Although you will of course be seeing him in a different environment.Im guessing he will have friends and family he will wanna catch up with.

For the wife to fully settle its taken a good few years but by that i mean she can understand well Western thinking and way of doing things. She understands the pace of life and can handle day to day pressures with ease. She can converse with a local girl of her age and have them think she lived here all her life asking her what school she went to

From what I have read from a Thai site similar to this Thais find it many times harder to settle in the west than a Phill does. Firstly English all phills understand and of course read English even if they dont speak it so well at first.So for example a Bus/train or a high street is not such a scary place as all the signs are easy to read..

Another for us at least us as a couple does seem to be as Christians straight off they seem to have something in common with your friends and families ie chatting about basic beliefs (which for many of us are still very much based on Christian values, the national holidays and able to celebrate them even if its just family gatherings and work holidays..

A mate i knew better and hung round with more in the early noughties had thai girlfriends and compared to my Wife and other Phill ladies i knew they did seem to have far bigger problems conversing and understanding British way of doing things.. The only one of his Girl friends who ever appeared to have "fitted in" had been schooled and grown up here in the Uk.

[-sillybilly-]

to really settle may take a while but to feel comfortable especially with you all ready knowing your hubby well should not take so long. Although you will of course be seeing him in a different environment.im guessing he will have friends and family he will wanna catch up with.

For the wife to fully settle its taken a good few years but by that i mean she can understand well western thinking and way of doing things. She understands the pace of life and can handle day to day pressures with ease. She can converse with a local girl of her age and have them think she lived here all her life asking her what school she went to

From what i have read from a thai site similar to this thais find it many times harder to settle in the west than a phill does. Firstly english all phills understand and of course read english even if they dont speak it so well at first.so for example a bus/train or a high street is not such a scary place as all the signs are easy to read..

Another for us at least us as a couple does seem to be as christians straight off they seem to have something in common with your friends and families ie chatting about basic beliefs (which for many of us are still very much based on christian values, the national holidays and able to celebrate them even if its just family gatherings and work holidays..

A mate i knew better and hung round with more in the early noughties had thai girlfriends and compared to my wife and other phill ladies i knew they did seem to have far bigger problems conversing and understanding british way of doing things.. The only one of his girl friends who ever appeared to have "fitted in" had been schooled and grown up here in the uk.

thats why i am so proud to be a pinay!!!

[Ross]

things will get better ross , my misses has been in the UK for 5yrs now, we talked a few times about her going back to the phils, but now things are finally going good for her, she doesn't talk about it any more, my misses has not seen her family for 5yrs, but soon she will again

am only here for month now but felt like 10 years. good for your wife finally after all she can bring some sunshine from PH for you .

[Ross]

hi ross

i know exactly how it feels having kids....the sleepless nights...tiredness... esp in your situation having to adjust in your new place with the kids its not really easy...really hardwork having kids..its a commitment . But in due time you will be fine and the kids. You can find your nearest playgroup in your area in that way you will get in involve in different activities that will benefit you and your kids. Goodluck Ross

hello ann..yeah but at times i forgot that i a mother who need to brush my teeth or even to peeeee when i need too.really having hard time on adjusting to kids lol..

[Ross]

hi ross

i know exactly how it feels having kids....the sleepless nights...tiredness... esp in your situation having to adjust in your new place with the kids its not really easy...really hardwork having kids..its a commitment . But in due time you will be fine and the kids. You can find your nearest playgroup in your area in that way you will get in involve in different activities that will benefit you and your kids. Goodluck Ross

hello ann..yeah but at times i forgot that i a mother who need to brush my teeth or even to peeeee when i need too.really having hard time on adjusting to kids

[Ross]

where abouts are you ross and how amny kids , we all need sleep and thats when we become very angry lack of it , you are either to tied or wound up like a spring , once the kids are asleep you go even if its so early , thats a start

we live somewhere in plympton plymouth devon having no slept is really difficult but the soon i get a slept the 3 kids awake

[Ann07]

hello ann..yeah but at times i forgot that i a mother who need to brush my teeth or even to peeeee when i need too.really having hard time on adjusting to kids

ha ha ha thats true i was like that after i had john esp when my husband was away for work/shops

just look at their faces and that make us smile despite all the hardships isnt it? its hardwork but the joy they bring to us is priceless

[aposhark]

One month adjusted for my husband,
Need more years to adjust with weather.

Hi Penny,
My wife laughed at your answer as she was in agreement with you concerning the weather
She has just told me, whilst laughing, that it will take two years to adjust to me
We have a great marriage, I just hope all the other men on here are enjoying wonderful days with their Filipina wives too.
You seem to be very happy also
Good luck

[stevewool]

well that would be nice gparry but i want change from the £5