How do you deal with negative comments about The Philippines/Filipina's?

[KeithD]

I just tell them they can come round and meet her as long as she's not busy killing wild buffalo with her hands

[English Rose]

Sadly I got the same sort of thing from my sons as well as my friends. I thought I had brought them up better.

[gWaPito]

Sadly I got the same sort of thing from my sons as well as my friends. I thought I had brought them up better.

It has been hard for me as I stated in post 15.

Only my family has a problem, she has loads of work friends and where we work in the same place, they all know Jane as my wife and nobody has a problem with us.

I have, in fact Jane and I have both tried so dam hard to get them to accept us and it is 'us' because we come as a package, you can't accept one with out the other.
Together we stand and all that.
Of course I love my kids but, they made me choose and Jane will always come on top.
In an ideal world we would all get along nicely, there is still no reason why not in the future.
My 26yo Daughter texted me to say 'I don't have a Dad anymore and I have deleted you from my phone'.
I replyed and said 'OK Emma, we are here and remember we love you'.
We believe they will come round to our thinking and realise life is just too short.
It's all very sad. I'm so disappointed, I would never of talked to my Dad like that, I guess it's the world we live in here, the UK.
I can't imagine this happening in the Philippines, being spoken to like that.

Anyway Like Jane say's 'we got jobs, our health and a great future all mapped out and all our plans have come to bear fruit so far'.

My ray of sunshine

[Sim11UK]

It has been hard for me as I stated in post 15.

Only my family has a problem, she has loads of work friends and where we work in the same place, they all know Jane as my wife and nobody has a problem with us.

I have, in fact Jane and I have both tried so dam hard to get them to accept us and it is 'us' because we come as a package, you can't accept one with out the other.
Together we stand and all that.
Of course I love my kids but, they made me choose and Jane will always come on top.
In an ideal world we would all get along nicely, there is still no reason why not in the future.
My 26yo Daughter texted me to say 'I don't have a Dad anymore and I have deleted you from my phone'.
I replyed and said 'OK Emma, we are here and remember we love you'.
We believe they will come round to our thinking and realise life is just too short.
It's all very sad. I'm so disappointed, I would never of talked to my Dad like that, I guess it's the world we live in here, the UK.
I can't imagine this happening in the Philippines, being spoken to like that.

Anyway Like Jane say's 'we got jobs, our health and a great future all mapped out and all our plans have come to bear fruit so far'.

My ray of sunshine

That is very sad to hear that, about your family I can't imagine that happening.
I would do the same though, if in your shoes...I hope things sort themselves, in time.

[malditako]

It has been hard for me as I stated in post 15.

Only my family has a problem, she has loads of work friends and where we work in the same place, they all know Jane as my wife and nobody has a problem with us.

I have, in fact Jane and I have both tried so dam hard to get them to accept us and it is 'us' because we come as a package, you can't accept one with out the other.
Together we stand and all that.
Of course I love my kids but, they made me choose and Jane will always come on top.
In an ideal world we would all get along nicely, there is still no reason why not in the future.
My 26yo Daughter texted me to say 'I don't have a Dad anymore and I have deleted you from my phone'.
I replyed and said 'OK Emma, we are here and remember we love you'.
We believe they will come round to our thinking and realise life is just too short.
It's all very sad. I'm so disappointed, I would never of talked to my Dad like that, I guess it's the world we live in here, the UK.
I can't imagine this happening in the Philippines, being spoken to like that.

Anyway Like Jane say's 'we got jobs, our health and a great future all mapped out and all our plans have come to bear fruit so far'.

My ray of sunshine

sorry to hear that..hope everything will be fine soon

[sars_notd_virus]

Anyway Like Jane say's 'we got jobs, our health and a great future all mapped out and all our plans have come to bear fruit so far'.

My ray of sunshine

couple working as a team..i think thats the most important in life
give my regards to Jane

[triple5]

It has been hard for me as I stated in post 15.

Only my family has a problem, she has loads of work friends and where we work in the same place, they all know Jane as my wife and nobody has a problem with us.

I have, in fact Jane and I have both tried so dam hard to get them to accept us and it is 'us' because we come as a package, you can't accept one with out the other.
Together we stand and all that.
Of course I love my kids but, they made me choose and Jane will always come on top.
In an ideal world we would all get along nicely, there is still no reason why not in the future.
My 26yo Daughter texted me to say 'I don't have a Dad anymore and I have deleted you from my phone'.
I replyed and said 'OK Emma, we are here and remember we love you'.
We believe they will come round to our thinking and realise life is just too short.
It's all very sad. I'm so disappointed, I would never of talked to my Dad like that, I guess it's the world we live in here, the UK.
I can't imagine this happening in the Philippines, being spoken to like that.

Anyway Like Jane say's 'we got jobs, our health and a great future all mapped out and all our plans have come to bear fruit so far'.

My ray of sunshine

That's harsh mate What's their reason, have they said? My situations nowhere near that bad, but I know people are saying nasty things behind my back, maybe to my kids. People tend to think we should spend the rest of our lives after a break-up being lonely or having another conventional UK relationship

[adam&chryss]

Ah the old " anyone that doesnt like The Philippines is stupid" scenario again.
Ive had many comments since i began dating a filipina to being married to one now. Mostly the comments are true.
1. bet you know western union? yep i do and yes i`ve sent money using them.
2. if i went there i could have a wife like yours too its easy! yep i expect you could do that.
3. its very dirty with lots of poor people and slums... yes it is like that but of course not everywhere, just as white beaches arnt everywhere.
4. bet you met online and fell inlove within a couple of weeks? yep thats correct.
im assuming that the people that say " ignorant people, probably cant even pick Phil out on a map" have never had to explain where England or Europe even to some of their Filipino in-laws?
Also if asking them wether they`d rather sleep with their own wife or yours means all Filipinas are models and Brits arnt then thats one of the most ridiculous things i`ve ever heard :action-
smiley-081:

[KeithD]

im assuming that the people that say " ignorant people, probably cant even pick Phil out on a map" have never had to explain where England or Europe even to some of their Filipino in-laws?
Also if asking them wether they`d rather sleep with their own wife or yours means all Filipinas are models and Brits arnt then thats one of the most ridiculous things i`ve ever heard

What's the fact that some people in UK can't point out another country on a map got to do with what people in the Philippines can or can't do?

As for the sleep with your wife.... we call that humour in the UK .... tongue in cheek ..... sarcasim .... oh, and as a scouser that exactly what I say, along with many other things that are "the most ridiculous things i`ve ever heard"

[Arthur Little]

It seems to me to be a western failing, that [some] folk are apparently always quick and willing to believe all the negative hype they hear of - or read - about other countries ... and, by definition, its knock-on effect on the decent citizens who've had the misfortune to be have been born and/or raised in certain (invariably impoverished) parts of the world. Why this should be the case - and why such prejudice exists - is, quite frankly, beyond my comprehension.

[triple5]

im assuming that the people that say " ignorant people, probably cant even pick Phil out on a map" have never had to explain where England or Europe even to some of their Filipino in-laws?

Have done, but never to Filipinos who make nasty comments about England, and I'm sure they don't to my missus when I'm not around. Thats the point that myself and others were trying to make, that these people in England who make rude comments are doing so about a country they know nothing about apart from the obvious stereotypes.

[Steve.r]

Ah the old " anyone that doesnt like The Philippines is stupid" scenario again.
Ive had many comments since i began dating a filipina to being married to one now. Mostly the comments are true.
1. bet you know western union? yep i do and yes i`ve sent money using them.
2. if i went there i could have a wife like yours too its easy! yep i expect you could do that.
3. its very dirty with lots of poor people and slums... yes it is like that but of course not everywhere, just as white beaches arnt everywhere.
4. bet you met online and fell inlove within a couple of weeks? yep thats correct.
im assuming that the people that say " ignorant people, probably cant even pick Phil out on a map" have never had to explain where England or Europe even to some of their Filipino in-laws?
Also if asking them wether they`d rather sleep with their own wife or yours means all Filipinas are models and Brits arnt then thats one of the most ridiculous things i`ve ever heard :action-
smiley-081:

And the point you are trying to make is what exactly.......... ????

Maybe I am just thick, but I missed it somewhere ...

[badrock]

I just have to ignore them. Ignorance and i don,t have the time to educate them all.

[Arthur Little]

Mark & Jane: I think Mark's immediate family needs to wake-up to the harsh reality that one in three conventional marriages between UK citizens, sadly ends in divorce nowadays ... whereas, seldom do we hear of matrimonial break-ups involving Brit/Fil relationships.

Whilst it's plain to see that his parents and siblings clearly recognise the positive impact Jane's love is having on Mark's life, his son and daughter's stubborn reluctance to accept this fact - in spite of her tireless efforts to befriend them - is grossly unfair to Jane and, to my mind, amounts to a form of emotional blackmail on their part.

Hopefully, in time, they will come to their senses - in the full realisation that your love for your new wife, in no way diminishes your inherent paternal feelings towards THEM. Remember, YOU and Jane have EVERY right to YOUR happiness as a couple, Mark!

[sparky]

i have had trouble with the steriotyping also

i work in an enviroment where banter is a part of the way we work but the ladyboy and "nip" ting tong etc comments and sly digs which my collegues seem to find acceptable are wearing thin.
they think that by not directly mentioning the philippines but overall asianness (?) then they can get away with it

i have stated to them that if anyone upsets myrna with these comments when shes over they will either get sacked or be asked to step outside

[gWaPito]

i have had trouble with the steriotyping also

i work in an enviroment where banter is a part of the way we work but the ladyboy and "nip" ting tong etc comments and sly digs which my collegues seem to find acceptable are wearing thin.
they think that by not directly mentioning the philippines but overall asianness (?) then they can get away with it

i have stated to them that if anyone upsets myrna with these comments when shes over they will either get sacked or be asked to step outside

The trouble is Sparky, you can't fight everybody. You will find very few with the courage to face up to you..these are the cowards in life

The one's that do, I find in my case its my kids.
Like Arthur said, they try the emotional backmail stuff.
It hasn't worked and never will with me.

You just have to rise above it, or you will be fighting for ever

[sparky]

i think in the UK as a white male of a certain age you are brought up with racism as a part of life- my granny - bless her was outraged that trevor macdonald used to read the news. i went to a catholic school where coloured people didnt exist. i am sure that in my youth i myself made some racist comments at some point,i was a product of my surroundings and enviroment

its all down to ignorance-and education- or the lack of it.when i travelled and lived abroad i was educated in the ways of the world/ different cultures which i embraced- unlike many who even tho they are expats still look down on the locals as savages etc.

having said that we are not alone in expressing our racist views- the Thais especially are extremely racist and prejudiced- the land of smiles advertising hides a multitude of deceit at times

[Englishman2010]

What you say about education is true to an extent, and you would expect to find that the less educated a person was the more bigoted they were. However, educated people can be just as bad, if not worse because they think they are being really smart if they come up with a witty snipe about foreign girlfriends. All of the jokes I've heard about Asian girls have come from people who I would have thought should have been brought up and educated to know better.

[stevewool]

i find that people dont even know where the philippines are, i still get hows emma in thailand steve? but i keep saying its the philippines i have never been to thailand and cannot coment about the place, i have 5 kids 3 are my naturel kids and 2 are adopted long story there my 3 are happy for me, the other 2 well intime will tell but its my life i have done the best for my children and they are adults now , heres to the next 30+ years

[triple5]

Point out that there's over 7000 islands here and about 100 million people, then ask if they're really so narrow minded to think that every female here lives up to their stereotype

Maybe ask them how they think the rest of the world views their women

[beppe]

Just wondering how you react or deal with the numerous negative comments and incorrect stereotypes about The Philippines and Filipina's from people who have never been there and probably never met a Filipino/a in their life?

Me, I don't really care what people say or think about me, whatever they think is their opinion and they won't change it to suit me, so I let them get on with it.

However, I feel that I have to come to the defense of my Filipina g/f and The Philippines.

Whenever I mention I have a Filipina g/f or that I am going to The Philippines, the usual comments I get range from tongue in cheek jokes to those who want to be helpful/interfere and warn me of the dangers, to the ones i hear 3rd hand.

Typical comments are:
She's only after a passport and your money.
Be careful, I had a 'friend' who got scammed by a Filipina...etc
Check she isn't really a post operative tranny
Aren't they all prostitutes
I bet she already has a husband who keeps out the way when you are in town
Make sure you don't catch anything when you go there
I bet its full of old white pervs and paedo's

etc, etc... you all know the score by now

Anyway, my beautiful Filipina makes me far happier and looks after me far better than my ex-wife ever could, and she's kinder to my wallet (just).

Look at what is good for you and ignore the rest, you don't have to please anyone.

[fred]

they made me choose and Jane will always come on top.

Not sure we required that much info Gwapito!!

I cant remember any of the issues raised in thread ever affecting us for over 20 years in the UK..
Must be the company we keep?

[Arthur Little]

What you say about education is true to an extent, and you would expect to find that the less educated a person was the more bigoted they were. However, educated people can be just as bad, if not worse because they think they are being really smart if they come up with a witty snipe about foreign girlfriends. All of the jokes I've heard about Asian girls have come from people who I would have thought should have been brought up and educated to know better.

Fear, prejudice ... jealousy, even? Who knows? Sometimes so-called "educated" people need to be taught tolerance and good old-fashioned manners!!

[gWaPito]

i find that people dont even know where the philippines are, i still get hows emma in thailand steve? but i keep saying its the philippines i have never been to thailand and cannot coment about the place, i have 5 kids 3 are my naturel kids and 2 are adopted long story there my 3 are happy for me, the other 2 well intime will tell but its my life i have done the best for my children and they are adults now , heres to the next 30+ years

I agree Steve...They are adults now, here's to the next 50 years
Like you said, we have done our best for them and if that is how my kids feel then so be it, bearing in mind they are 26 and 29..it's not as if they are teenagers

[gWaPito]

Fear, prejudice ... jealousy, even? Who knows? Sometimes so-called "educated" people need to be taught tolerance and good old-fashioned manners!!

Best we get Sparky to take them outside.

You can lead the horse to water, you can't always get him to drink it

[gWaPito]

Not sure we required that much info Gwapito!!

I cant remember any of the issues raised in thread ever affecting us for over 20 years in the UK..
Must be the company we keep?

It wasn't mean't to sound like that
As soon as I posted it, I realised it may be misconstrud..yes, the wife moved the dictionary

[Arthur Little]

On a brighter note: Yesterday afternoon, a good friend of mine ... chap I've known for more than 40 years ... said to me, "Y'know, Arthur, WE go back a looooong way ... and YOU seem far more relaxed and content - since you met Myrna - than I have seen you in ages!". Kinda speaks for itself, doesn't it!

[KeithD]

..... Kinda speaks for itself, doesn't it!

Yeah.... she's drugging you

[stevewool]

most proberly all on here have had at sometime words said to us about visa, money , and are you sure they are not a man , well i bet 99% of us can laugh at all of those sad people now and i bet 100% of those are so jeolous because we all have a beautiful wife partner girlfreind

[sparky]

Best we get Sparky to take them outside.

You can lead the horse to water, you can't always get him to drink it

my fighting days and working doors etc are long gone - and i am far too old now for all of that- tho sometimes....

prefer to make love not war now that i have found a lovely lady to share my life with.