A Surreal Future Awaits - a bit of stress

[HopeUK]

Hi Peeps!

Everyone seems to be under the impression that she has literally said 'give me money!!'. She texted me with her situation but didn't explicity ask for anything - merely stated that "she was sad because.." and didn't know what to do or where to turn. In response I have chosen to give a helping hand to a potential girlfriend. I know (and others have told me) that it also sounds like an implicit or empathetic attempt to provoke the knee-jerk response "That's okay, I'll give you what you need!" - I grant that is quite possibly the case, but I don't know that for sure yet. I can assure all those concerned that I am entering this situation with an open mind and (more importantly to me personally) an open heart - I don't feel like I'm being condemned to an endless and inescapable financial drain by this venture. If it were to get out of hand, then yes that would be the end of the matter - lesson learned, case closed, move on. I think by not being afraid to invest some heart and soul in the situation it would truly prove her to be an immoral person not worthy of attention if that 'invested emotion' were betrayed for a quick 8000PHP, and consequently I would have no problems emotionally separating myself from her. At this point I'm not giving anything 'real' away except for my advice, moral support and understanding. I have offered the possibility of "assistance", giving us a way forwards (in all fairness what kind of an impression would it make to say a straight "no" to a potential girlfriend if this is genuine? that would bring the issue to a dead stop without anything learned or understood on either side). I have also enquired as to what her parent's financial problems actually are and have suggested a joint effort, should their sense of "amor proprio" given them cause for embarrassment.

For all the scam situations out there I'm sure many people will testify to their having experienced genuine situations as well, where they have helped their friends and loved ones in time of need. I was under the impression that helpfulness, politeness and cooperation were even considered valuable character traits within Filipino culture? There's nothing wrong with being on guard but I also cannot see any reason to blindly assume the worst without some measure of reason when nothing has explicity "changed hands". Or am I wrong? To my mind, automatic assumptions without all the facts is in itself immoral, and something of a slippery slope in many ways. The simple facts of this friendship/romance are of a man and a woman who have met on the net, invested enough conversation to make a connection, and after her acceptance of my request of right to court her, have forged a plan to get together to see if there is more.

[justchecking]

Hi HopeUK, It sounds to me from your last post that you are now very clear in your mind as to what has already happened in terms of creating a potential relationship, and are realistically aware of the two-sided coin of scam/genuine need - you have decided that it needs to be given a chance - so go give it a chance and dont dwell too hard on the 'what ifs' - after all 'what if you never gave yourself a chance to find out for sure'.

I nearly let rational thought and practical problems stand in the way of my heart - its never going to be plain sailing in a relationship of severely unequitable finances, there's different paths for dealing with this for us all - i think you have chosen your first steps, so start enjoying planning for your trip with your 'eyes wide open'....

[HopeUK]

Thank you 'justchecking'! Do I take it by the line "I nearly let rational thought and practical problems stand in the way of my heart" implies you ARE in a happy situation?

[Dedworth]

I'm afraid I can't offer any comment or advice HopeUK other than to wish you good luck but in a voyeuristic kind of way I look forward to further instalments

[HopeUK]

Thanks Dedworth!! If you do have any points to raise, please feel free! I welcome any input, and I'll add any worthy installments as I go.. Feel free to indulge your voyeuristic tendencies!

[aromulus]

i

(coming from a veggy of nearly 30yrs )

it shows.....

[HopeUK]

Hey Peeps,

Just thought to post a little now the deadline is nearly upon us.. For Dedworth - sorry there's been nothing new to report friend (haha!). The Trip to Acuatico Beach Resort is organised (for one night, may extend to two if they aren't too busy, and its as good as it looks), the hotel stay in Manila is sorted and my girl's IELT exam is underway this week. She'll get her results whilst I'm still over there so that will either make for a cheerful or disappointing end to the holiday (hopefully the former!!).

So, come what may, the holiday begins from next Thursday.. via Amsterdam (as all travellers to the East will have been to at some point, I'm sure ). She'll be meeting me at NAIA and its onwards to "the undiscovered country" from there..

Wish us luck!?

[Arthur Little]

Hey Peeps,

Just thought to post a little now the deadline is nearly upon us.. For Dedworth - sorry there's been nothing new to report friend (haha!). The Trip to Acuatico Beach Resort is organised (for one night, may extend to two if they aren't too busy, and its as good as it looks), the hotel stay in Manila is sorted and my girl's IELT exam is underway this week. She'll get her results whilst I'm still over there so that will either make for a cheerful or disappointing end to the holiday (hopefully the former!!).

So, come what may, the holiday begins from next Thursday.. via Amsterdam (as all travellers to the East will have been to at some point, I'm sure ). She'll be meeting me at NAIA and its onwards to "the undiscovered country" from there..

Wish us luck!?

Nice to see you back online, Gav ... and all of us wish you bon voyage on your BIG adventure! Good Luck also, to your girlfriend with her IELTS exam.

[Notavirusalso]

Cool..Have a great time Hope....

[Dedworth]

Hey Peeps,

Just thought to post a little now the deadline is nearly upon us.. For Dedworth - sorry there's been nothing new to report friend (haha!). The Trip to Acuatico Beach Resort is organised (for one night, may extend to two if they aren't too busy, and its as good as it looks), the hotel stay in Manila is sorted and my girl's IELT exam is underway this week. She'll get her results whilst I'm still over there so that will either make for a cheerful or disappointing end to the holiday (hopefully the former!!).

So, come what may, the holiday begins from next Thursday.. via Amsterdam (as all travellers to the East will have been to at some point, I'm sure ). She'll be meeting me at NAIA and its onwards to "the undiscovered country" from there..

Wish us luck!?

Good luck, have a great time and enjoy it

[aposhark]

Hey Peeps,

Just thought to post a little now the deadline is nearly upon us.. For Dedworth - sorry there's been nothing new to report friend (haha!). The Trip to Acuatico Beach Resort is organised (for one night, may extend to two if they aren't too busy, and its as good as it looks), the hotel stay in Manila is sorted and my girl's IELT exam is underway this week. She'll get her results whilst I'm still over there so that will either make for a cheerful or disappointing end to the holiday (hopefully the former!!).

So, come what may, the holiday begins from next Thursday.. via Amsterdam (as all travellers to the East will have been to at some point, I'm sure ). She'll be meeting me at NAIA and its onwards to "the undiscovered country" from there..

Wish us luck!?

Have a great time over there, I am sure you will have fun

[liane]

Enjoy your time and Good luck

[Florge]

April? wow... right in the middle of the scorching summer sun in the Philippines... hehehe... have fun..

My 2 pence worth: do not send money for as long as you can... if she's working, she can feed herself... else, the sending would be an precedent of many more... unless you got loads of cash to spare, then do so. .. and some my way... LOL

[HopeUK]

Hi Peeps,

In spite of my journey across to meet with my girlfriend, she seems to have disappeared from communication. The last call I made was on Saturday - it was cut off and I couldn't get back to her. It's been 72 hours - no effort has been made on her end to get in touch with me.. no facebook.. no email, no messenger.. no text.. Is any of this normal? Can anyone give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull the plug on this whole damn thing?!!

[triple5]

3 days? It's hardly very long. I wouldn't panic just yet.

[South-east boy]

3 days? It's hardly very long. I wouldn't panic just yet.

While it is a little worrying, Like Triple5 says, I wouldn't pannic just yet. If there are internet problems that accounts for most of the possible ways of contact not being available. Quite often I've thought the worst only for there to be a decent explanation.

[Dedworth]

I hope HopeUK that you are still travelling Thursday

[keithAngel]

Hi Peeps,

In spite of my journey across to meet with my girlfriend, she seems to have disappeared from communication. The last call I made was on Saturday - it was cut off and I couldn't get back to her. It's been 72 hours - no effort has been made on her end to get in touch with me.. no facebook.. no email, no messenger.. no text.. Is any of this normal? Can anyone give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull the plug on this whole damn thing?!!

I dont have all the details but you did actually meet? im in country i will ask the boss to forward my email and hence mobile if you want to talk its not unheard of for the bottle to go

[South-east boy]

I hope HopeUK that you are still travelling Thursday

Yeah, hope you heard from her and everything is back on track? Have a great time over there and let us know when you can how everyting went.

[South-east boy]

I dont have all the details but you did actually meet? im in country i will ask the boss to forward my email and hence mobile if you want to talk its not unheard of for the bottle to go

He is due to fly out today Keith. Like I just mentioned I hope everything is now ok for him.

[keithAngel]

ok it came up in the chat last night no-one was sure

[HopeUK]

Well, so much for that - we met for a whole two hours.. She went to grab her bits from home as she'd just got back from Legaspi and then she calls to tell me her dad wants her to come home to meet up with a visiting aunt.

I'm on my way home as fast as I can sort anything out - I do not wish to stop here one minute longer - all the purpose has gone

Thanks for all your support anyhow guys.. I have to be magnanimous about that



Peace!

[Sim11UK]

HopeUK I'm sorry things haven't worked out...can't remember, are you in Manila?

Take a flight to Bohol (panglao island) or Boracay, such a shame to come straight home. Really, you could have a great time...There is so much to explore.

Don't let this unfortunate incident, ruin your enjoyment of the Philippines.


Come on folks! give him some more help & encouragement.

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi HopeUK!!! forget about the girl u've been with for 2hrs
Go and Enjoy your stay in the beautiful Islands of the Philippines!!!..
We can never can tell??who knows,u might meet someone who is worthy of your trip in the ph..its summer here and everyone is out and about..(including real people with good heart)
Goodluck!!

[keithAngel]

hop over to cebu hope plenty of hope here the boss has my mobile

[Steve.r]

Hope, I am sorry to hear that. But, as your username states, stay hopeful that you can enjoy the rest of your holiday. There is so much to see, you will enjoy just being there. You will find lots of happy smiling faces wherever you look, why not try to strike conversation with a 'real' girl and see where it goes, don't be down on the whole place because this one girl played you.

Keep in touch and let us know where you end up, it could be the start of something far better for you.

[triple5]

NOOO! Don't come back Go and enjoy yourself Plenty to do, and easy enough to meet other girls

Was there just no chemistry there when you met? Could be all sorts of reasons why she couldn't stick around. Maybe has strict parents. Who knows.

Good luck pal

[Ladybug_sim]

Well, so much for that - we met for a whole two hours.. She went to grab her bits from home as she'd just got back from Legaspi and then she calls to tell me her dad wants her to come home to meet up with a visiting aunt.

I'm on my way home as fast as I can sort anything out - I do not wish to stop here one minute longer - all the purpose has gone

Thanks for all your support anyhow guys.. I have to be magnanimous about that



Peace!

Hi! HopeUK, we feel sorry for the things happen. Sometimes we never expect but at least you know who she is now in person... just leave it for an experience for the woman once you love... move on and think that she is not worthy to be with you...it is not the end for the road of love... I know it is too frustrating but since you are here now in Philippines you need to explore your self and have a big chance to know some people even women too... enjoy your vacation here not focus your self with her as what she done to you it is her big lost to her self not yours... If you have change just have a flight to be here in Cagayan de Oro we can meet you at Lumbia Airport and tour you some good places here or met my friend too as she is interested to find the man who will love her but for now you need just to meet her first so if you know each other well time to go with your life for that things. Don't make any rush you need to enjoy your life on your vacation... we have lots of members here offering too or have an open arms for you here in the Philippines... even here in Mindanao.

Just keep in touch .. we will not lost you here anytime you need help... always do hope someday you will find the best woman in your life coz you are still young at your ages too many women will adore and love you just keep things be ok and be happy ...

All the best for you
Ladybug and SimUk

[Doc Alan]

Come on folks! give him some more help & encouragement.

Here's my full support, Hope
I'm off to the beautiful Philippines in less than 5 weeks and I will NOT be coming home early, whatever happens !

[liane]

Sorry to hear about it. Just try to enjoy your stay in the Philippines even without her. She isn't worthy of your time. Maybe during your stay you will meet someone and that would be the start of something new
Keep hoping for the best