Christmas without your Mahal at your side

[Northerner]

Hello all..

I was doing my usual Christmas shopping today, like every year. Getting angry with the crowds pushing past me in HMV as you do, when I thought I would go an catch a movie to waste a couple of hours with. I get in to the cinema for free as a good friend of mine is one of the managers, all was good.

Then, whilst I was walking along Market Street and about to head up to the cinema. I started to notice couples, being couples.. Holding hands, the men struggling with their many carrier bags full of stuff, trying to not look like they are not struggling with all those bags and trying not to break the pretence that they can carry everything for their wives/girlfriends (okay, I just rolled of story there... ) Anyway, it hit me at that moment.. That I was alone

When I was single, seeing couples was never an issue. Indeed with my last girlfriend I had distanced myself from her so much that technically I was not bothered about being away from her.

But with Rizza it is so much different..

I am in love and I am in a relationship! But not being with my mahal was suddenly worse than at any moment since I came back from the Philippines! And then I suddenly started to think ahead to Christmas and the coming New Year and being so far apart.. And so a trip to the cinema to see even more couples holding hands and what not just seemed like a bad idea.. And so I went home..

I guess this is a familiar story for many on here! Long distance relationships are a pain and I think I never fully knew that until today. But I am wondering if others on here were able to focus on the future and get on with everything else, like I hope to do for the next so many months?

[Tawi2]

Its always easy to cut-away and focus on things immediate and around you rather than something thats temporarily beyond your control what movie did you watch?

[aromulus]

But I am wondering if others on here were able to focus on the future and get on with everything else,

You learn slowly, the hard way....

Early morning and late nights in front of the pc, waiting for that somebody to get online, and give her a quick call to make sure she does...

Then it becomes a routine, and more bearable..

And the more often you go overthere for a visit, the less likely you feel to come back to the rat race....

Sink or swim, really....

[Sim11UK]

Tell me about it....recently married and apart at christmas
Really wish I was over there.

Glad things are going well for you though

It's a bummer for a lot of us.

[Northerner]

Its always easy to cut-away and focus on things immediate and around you rather than something thats temporarily beyond your control what movie did you watch?

Decided not to go... I usually see what is available to go and see there and then and walk in..

You learn slowly, the hard way....

Early morning and late nights in front of the pc, waiting for that somebody to get online, and give her a quick call to make sure she does...

Then it becomes a routine, and more bearable..

And the more often you go overthere for a visit, the less likely you feel to come back to the rat race....

Sink or swim, really....

I guess I had better swim..

I noticed that more and more I was getting down but that is kind of usual this time of year, but on a positive note - being so down makes me think as to why I feel depressed and those thoughts give hope and good feelings for the future..

Tell me about it....recently married and apart at christmas
Really wish I was over there.

Glad things are going well for you though

It's a bummer for a lot of us.

Yeah.... In Mindanao I was looking forward to being back in the UK.. Now I wish I was in Mindanao

[Tawi2]

Dont feel down,your healthy and you have something to look forward to,dont focus or concentrate on others and their happiness because everyone has their own time mate,aim at next christmas,visualise it,I am not into Nigels "Power of positive thinking"but I do think you can achieve a lot more than you imagine if you put your mind to it,next christmas will be the special one for you,just give it time

[Northerner]

...next christmas will be the special one for you,just give it time

Indeed

[Tawi2]

Then it will be you trying to pretend your not struggling as your legs feel like buckling under multitudinous shopping bags as your lady loads you up like a pack mule from every shop she passes You will look back at this year with fondnessShe will be here but you know the sad thing about christmas,your post just hit me,the sad thing about christmas is people past,those who never get to see the bright lights and open gifts again,its like scrooge,past,present and future,your future begins 2010

[pacificelectric]

Of course when Diana tells me she went Christmas shopping at the Gaisano Mall or Victoria Plaza with her children I wish I were with her but still we will be together in January when there is (hopefully!) no crowd any more and we talk over the phone every day... but it is pretty hard sometimes!

Now when she tells me she gets up at 03.30 AM to attend the miza di gallo at the local chapel at 04.30 AM I am not sure I would enjoy the experience....

[Steve.r]

Having just returned from a great trip to see my Mahal, I am now very sad and wishing that I never had to come home. We talk each day either by phone yahoo or sms. But there is nothing like the touch of her hand or the warmth of her lip against yours, nothing like the smell of her hair or her whispering that she loves you in your ear before you sleep. Yes, I am lonely and sad now that we are apart, but I am looking forward to April when I return to her again.
Christmas will be quiet for me as I have no one else, I'll just look forward to the early morning call and feeling close to her that way.

[lordna]

Wow!...just read all this and thought well at least i am not alone....so thanks everyone!

I am getting used to living in two time zones, one which is accessed through my PC everyday. But your right a long distance relationship is so hard particularly when your not sure when you will finally get that VISA application completed . Hopefully early in the new year then we can see each other again. Meanwhile we are managing to keep each other cheerful and positive and looking forward to our future together.

Well Merry Xmas everyone particularly to those other couples who are apart waiting for various reasons till they can b together.

[Doc Alan]

Good advice here as always. It's ironic that there's a conference on Climate Change when we're in the middle of a cold spell. I was explaining Seasonal Affective Disorder to my girlfriend , with the prospect of snow here in Scarborough, but her excitement at wanting me to upload and send wintry photos has given me a challenge and cured SAD !

[justchecking]

It is difficult - but there are so many on here who are testimony to the fact that it's worth it - you get hopeful - its funny I can be busy busy with my daughter or at work, or trying to fit in domestic crap - and then bam out of nowhere I suddenly wish I wasn't alone - even when I'm surrounded by others - after 5 months I thought it was getting bearable, but the weight of it when it hits you is hard - but the future is bright and next year is only a couple of weeks away..... and 2010 is my year!

[justchecking]

ps - jackson.alan46 climate change isn't all about getting hot - that's why they don't call it global warming anymore - too confusing for everyone....

[laurel]

Wow guys so much here that resonates with me and im sure many others. 'Living' in two time zones, being lonely when surrounded by others, looking at other couples and more more more.
At least we should be able to encourage each other here, as we all deal with the loneliness in our own way. Its difficult and im hopeing 2010 is going to be a big year for my relationship....anyway guys all the very best to all of you as we try to help each other along the way

[Florge]

well sean... you can always see me if it becomes unbearable.. and finally give me that magic sarap... LOL

[bornatbirth]

just wait until you are both together and start arguing and you wish you was still single

i was at a family get together alone,when eveyone else was with someone i was chatting to my wife(gf at the time)that it was strange that even though we was together that we was both alone and far apart.

it gets much better when shes here with you

[Alan]

You're lucky Sean!!!!

If you want to REALLY know what misery is - try being an Oldham fan!!!!

Al.

[IainBusby]

Been there, done that. The first time I went to the Philippines and I met my (now) wife was at the end of October 2006 and I could only stay for 2 weeks. I couldn't manage to go back then until the following June which seemed like a lifetime, but that time I came armed with my CNI and we got married just before I returned home after being there for a whole month.

Then there was the whole visa thing to get through before she finally arrived here at the end of September that year. So at least we didn't have endure as much or as many separations as some members here, six and a half months the first time and three months the second time, so I suppose I should be grateful for that.

Hang on in there Sean, all the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Iain.

[Northerner]

well sean... you can always see me if it becomes unbearable.. and finally give me that magic sarap... LOL

Florge, not quite crying myself to sleep just yet

But if you want to meet up just message me. Got a bag full of magic saraps, ginisa sachets, sinigang sa sampalok mix, real sarap and sinigang na may miso.... When you want them!!

Sean

[Northerner]

Been there, done that. The first time I went to the Philippines and I met my (now) wife was at the end of October 2006 and I could only stay for 2 weeks. I couldn't manage to go back then until the following June which seemed like a lifetime, but that time I came armed with my CNI and we got married just before I returned home after being there for a whole month.

Then there was the whole visa thing to get through before she finally arrived here at the end of September that year. So at least we didn't have endure as much or as many separations as some members here, six and a half months the first time and three months the second time, so I suppose I should be grateful for that.

Hang on in there Sean, all the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Iain.

I will be

[aromulus]

Got a bag full of magic saraps, ginisa sachets, sinigang sa sampalok mix, real sarap and sinigang na may miso....

Sean

You have this magic way of attracting Pinays.....