Thoughts from my first visit to the Philippines

[Northerner]

After almost two weeks back in the UK, and gradually getting more and more used to the cold again I thought I would give my final thoughts on my time in the Philippines.

The Good

The people! The Filipino people are for the most part the friendliest people I have had the pleasure to meet, going out of their way to try and make me feel comfortable or enquire how I am. Rizza’s family welcomed me and showed me a different side of life I have never seen before, allowing me to experience a different culture while being curious about mine also..

The Scenery! When I arrived at Mantayupan Falls and then to Rizza’s manong Joy’s farm, the only words I could think of was “Wow!”.. The waterfalls are amazing, and it is a sight unfamiliar to most people in the UK. The farm I went to in Barili had a view of the sea, with hillsides and plantations all around it was stunning, and I promised myself I would come back to this site again and again. I took some pictures but I don’t think they show the true beauty of this place. You just have to be there! Likewise, the scenery around Mindanao is amazing.. The bus ride to Valencia from CDO is long but the view made up for the numbness in my rear end..

The Sunlight! There is about 12 hours every day of sunlight, from 5am until 5pm. And I got into the habit of waking up every day around 5am and then going to bed around 9pm. Firstly with a little help from the Roosters, then on my own. And it was always nice to wake up and be greeted by lots of people saying “Myoon Buntag”..

Rizza! My reason to go to the Philippines in the first place.. Rizza is a naturally beautiful woman, looking slightly younger than her 24 years. Photographs really can’t express how a person actually looks in person and Rizza is a perfect example of this. We have a similar sense of humour which helped, and she was clearly getting over those fears of meeting a western man for the first time as well. But we bonded!

The Bad

Fear! Almost every time I was in public I was always aware that people were watching me. Mostly because it is strange to see a white man like myself in Valencia or perhaps even Barili. But there was also a look I recall some gave me that did not just come from curiosity, but of envy. I was always on guard for beggars and potential thieves! When I was in Valencia, Rizza refused to allow me to go to the city without her and her brother, and would tell me it was not safe for me. She was nervous when I was walking round the market as everyone noticed me. Plus, I think she knows this town far better than me so who was I to argue!!

When I was in Cebu and looking for DVDs, I had company who walked behind me as an early warning system for any potential attacks from behind.. Not my idea, but I didn’t complain either, they were looking out for me and knew the area far better.. And just last week Rizza was robbed again on a Jeepney, another reminder of how the Philippines has a very bad side to it..

Mosquitoes! Evil little creatures… Nuff said!

Taxi Drivers! Manila Taxi driver are worthy of a category of their own in the book of con artists. They inflate their prices between 200 and 400% when a white person gets in their cab. The drivers in Cebu are not so bad, but with a few bad apples as well. When we stayed in the ALTA resort near Mactan, the hotels very own “trusted” company would simply tell me that it was 400 pesos to SM Mall, and as we were in the middle of nowhere as far as I was concerned, I had little choice but to pay.

Dusty Roads! I had a cough for most of my time and only just getting rid of it.. The reason... Dusty roads!! When you see people riding bikes looking like the Taliban, you know a face mask is needed.. Lesson learned

The Ugly

Poverty! Every day I was reminded of the severe lack of money to so many in the Philippines. Even though I had read about it on this forum it was still a shock to the system. I could not see any trickle down in this economy. And it was shocking to learn just how much money the average Filipino earns in a day… I had been to Thailand and was expecting a similar experience, with various degrees of wealth scattered throughout. Not so! I can only recall a few nice looking houses in all my time there, everything else was built by those who lived there, by brick, bamboo or wood.. And a lot of shanty houses built in the smallest of spaces, but housing large families.

The Beggars! I remember in Barili a woman was going from house to house and walking into the houses and gardens looking for spare money or food, never before had I seen that! People would try and open the taxi door that I was sat behind to get at me as they pleaded for money (money I often did not carry with me). Small Children wait outside Jollibee for the hope of a few pesos here or there.

Overall Perception

My overall thoughts for my time in the Philippines are mixed. I truly miss the place, despite my complaints when I was coughing and itching for all those mosquito bites. I miss being with Rizza! I miss her family, whom I had gotten to know quite well..

I wont miss Filipino TV, and the day we get it in the UK on my TV will be a day I dread.. I won’t miss the food, but from time to time when I go back I am sure I will try more of it.

And Rizza..

She can read this so I had better be careful! When we first met it was strange at first, we were both nervous and curious. I think it really took a few days for us to truly feel comfortable with each other, despite my occasional western faux pas….

I remember vividly spending so much time just talking to her, being with her and just enjoying this amazing woman at my side. We joked around a lot, confusing bystanders. And I spent my time there being fussed over and mothered by Rizza, something completely alien to me since I was a child! But also nice for me, if on the odd occasion a slight annoyance..

I annoyed Rizza quite few times. Sometimes by accident nd sometimes on purpose. I too was annoyed by the way courtship is with a Filipina, often wishing for some time alone with her. Also Rizza is conservative, so that was a learning curve for a liberal Mancunian like myself.. But, I think knew even then how much I was enjoying her company and her smiles.

When we finally parted company, the tears on both our faces said more than was needed to be said!

And so I am back in a long distance relationship, but with more of a heartache as I miss everything about Rizza! And yesterday I got to see her for the first time on a web camera since we parted and those final moments at Cebu Airport came flying back into my memory…

[laurel]

Thats a nice read..
Hope it wont be too long before your back in the Phils.

Saying goodbye is never easy but at least we do have the technology to keep in touch fairly well. ...i like the part on the roosters, reckon they must be all over the Phils i used to joke that i would kill that rooster when speaking on the fone to my gf.. crowing alll the time...when i got there they were all over the place i actually came to enjoy the noise ....anyway welcome home

[Northerner]

Thats a nice read..
Hope it wont be too long before your back in the Phils.

Saying goodbye is never easy but at least we do have the technology to keep in touch fairly well. ...i like the part on the roosters, reckon they must be all over the Phils i used to joke that i would kill that rooster when speaking on the fone to my gf.. crowing alll the time...when i got there they were all over the place i actually came to enjoy the noise ....anyway welcome home

Yeah, the roosters became more of a welcome annoyance after about a week or so. Rizza's grandparents had a few chickens, pigs and grew some of their own veg. So it was almost like living on a farm.. And outside my window, just a few feet away was a rice field, and those guys were out very early too, talking and laughing all of the time..

I am hoping it will be 2011 for my next trip to the Philippines!

[laurel]

2011.?.............boy shame it cant be earlier.

[Sim11UK]

Yeah, the roosters became more of a welcome annoyance after about a week or so. RizzaKs grandparents had a few chickens, pigs and grew some of their own veg. So it was almost like living on a farm.. And outside my window, just a few feet away was a rice field, and those guys were out very early too, talking and laughing all of the time..

I am hoping it will be 2011 for my next trip to the Philippines!

I love the roosters....love it when they all call to each other.

2011???...what happened to 2110?

[laurel]

2011???...what happened to 2110?


Hey Sim....2110?, he'd have to have the patience of a saint :-)

[Sim11UK]

2011???...what happened to 2110?


Hey Sim....2110?, he'd have to have the patience of a saint :-)

OOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......Yes what a prat I am ....meant 2010

[jonathan47]

northerner,
go get her mate, life is short !

i folowed your story with interest, the ups and downs the goods the bads, but in the end you feel like the rest of us the philippines get into your skin once you been there you will always be there, glad you happy but if rizza is for you please go back next year!


good luck

regards
jonathan

[Tawi2]

Jonathan is right you know,life is oh so short,but I am sure despite the annoyances of the Mozzies and taxi-drivers(who are by far worse than a few lamoks)you enjoyed your trip,learnt a little about yourself,a bit more about the world and its people,lifes an experience,you cant put a monetary value on that As for the roosters,natures alarm clock,no more forgetting to set your alarm because its set for you

[Arthur Little]

2011.?.............boy shame it cant be earlier.

I love the roosters....love it when they all call to each other.

2011???...what happened to 2110?

2011???...what happened to 2110?


Hey Sim....2110?, he'd have to have the patience of a saint :-)

2110? s of Christmasses FUTURE! ... what the "Dickens"?

[Tawi2]

For a festive christmas pun sadly we will all be pushing daisies come 2110,I hope so,otherwise I am going to look pretty decrepit by then most of us will only be attracting flies not members of the opposite sex

[Florge]

LOL... you never fail to make me laugh Tawi...

Sean, 2011???? are you NUTS!!!! that's sooo long ago.... oh my oh my... I'll pray for Rizza to be ultra patient...

Hi Rizza... kamusta na ka dinha dhay? hehehe....

[Northerner]

Sean, 2011???? are you NUTS!!!! that's sooo long ago.... oh my oh my... I'll pray for Rizza to be ultra patient...

Hi Rizza... kamusta na ka dinha dhay? hehehe....

2011 is the plan.. So long as we get a fiance visa for Rizza in 2010 Hoping to apply around June, as we both know they can take up to 3 months. So, then we would both go back to the Philippines togther in 2011 for our holiday!

[darren-b]

2011 is the plan.. So long as we get a fiance visa for Rizza in 2010 Hoping to apply around June, as we both know they can take up to 3 months. So, then we would both go back to the Philippines togther in 2011 for our holiday!

6 months between your (only) visit and applying for a fiancee visa is not idea. Just make sure you have lots of evidence of communications between now and June.

[James Hubbard]

After almost two weeks back in the UK, and gradually getting more and more used to the cold again I thought I would give my final thoughts on my time in the Philippines.

The Good



The Bad

The Ugly

And Rizza..

. . .

And so I am back in a long distance relationship, but with more of a heartache as I miss everything about Rizza! And yesterday I got to see her for the first time on a web camera since we parted and those final moments at Cebu Airport came flying back into my memory…

Sean Mate

It's good to read your reflections mate. And you wanna know something? I knew your thoughts would be like this - from our PM conversations before you went.

Really great to hear your words.

Mate, do you think that you and Rizza will take your relationship further, maybe engagement?

Jim.

[Northerner]

I think if I went to the Phils many, many times for a few years I would only be wasting more and more effort trying to find out what can only be found out from time living together.. That being, will my feelings stay the same?

And I would think not.. We all change and a relationship is doomed if the two involved don't try and get past arguments and work out differences! Besides, I've played it safe too many times now that it bores me..

My motto is it!!

[whiteraven]

well im glad you had such a good time and wish your relationship all of the best for the future

[Sim11UK]

Hi Northerner, I really enjoy reading your posts, but I sense that the Philippines was a bit of a disapointment to you, which is a real shame.

Whenever I come back, I can't wait to get back there again...Yes it has lots of problems & there are things I don't like, but it's always going to be a part of my life now & I welcome that...Will probably be living there at some point.

I'm sure you probably felt a little bit claustrophobic, being with her family most of the time. I would have done too. Perhaps you should have taken her to Boracay or Bohol, or somewhere, so you were both on neutral ground & could get to know each other better...We did this on my first trip.

[triple5]

Whenever I come back, I can't wait to get back there again

Same here. There is no bad and ugly in my eyes. its all good

[Northerner]

I know it might seem like I didn't enjoy it, but that as really far from the truth..

There was a lot that did get to me and things about the Philippines that I loved. I loved seeing the views from the outskirts of Barili, enough so to mention it to Rizza that we should come and visit often.. The genuine smiles I got from people I did not know.. The people I got to meet, and share a meal and a laugh with..

I guess the fact I was ill for most of my time there (okay, nasty cough), as well as not free to wander about (although I know and understand why) had led me to feel bad about a lot of things. Valencia, Bukidnon is a city people just don't go to visit! Unlike Bohol or more tourist/traveler friendly places, Valencia is a place people only visit to see friends or family, or on business.. But, even so; I enjoyed the place to some extent. It was different and for that it was good now that I think back. I enjoyed Barili more, but perhaps that was because for the few days I was there, each day had something for me to do

Next time I go, I think more time wil be devoted to seeing the beauty of the islands that is slowly being eroded.. Bohol or some other place, but with just me and Rizza

[Sim11UK]

I'm glad to hear that

We've been to several islands now & in time, I hope to travel to many more.
However, my last recent trip, having got married, we just spent a couple of months in CDO...Living in her boarding house & doing fairly mundane things, but it was my best & most rewarding trip...plus it was just us two, most of the time.

[Tonet]

I enjoyed reading your thread, but i also had impression that u seen more of the negative side of Philippines.

What you said was true though, safety, taxi, beggars,and poverty, My hubby liked it though the complexity of the place, people are nosey, but nice, people could be sooo poor yet soo happy, the squatters area behind big subdivisions, the difference of scenery as soon as your out of Manila. are crazy but its just what Philippines is all about..

And what I like more about Filipinos (i realize it after going back home) are they live for today, i notice about most of British people(no offense meant here) they always about future, retirement which is a good thing but sometimes you missed what's today, enjoy what you already have.

[Sim11UK]

Forgot to say, it's a great trip out on the bus, going up & down through the mountains...I've been out Valencia way, a couple of times on the way to near Kalilangan.

[JimOttley]

I know it might seem like I didn't enjoy it, but that as really far from the truth..

There was a lot that did get to me and things about the Philippines that I loved. I loved seeing the views from the outskirts of Barili, enough so to mention it to Rizza that we should come and visit often.. The genuine smiles I got from people I did not know.. The people I got to meet, and share a meal and a laugh with..

I guess the fact I was ill for most of my time there (okay, nasty cough), as well as not free to wander about (although I know and understand why) had led me to feel bad about a lot of things. Valencia, Bukidnon is a city people just don't go to visit! Unlike Bohol or more tourist/traveler friendly places, Valencia is a place people only visit to see friends or family, or on business.. But, even so; I enjoyed the place to some extent. It was different and for that it was good now that I think back. I enjoyed Barili more, but perhaps that was because for the few days I was there, each day had something for me to do

Next time I go, I think more time wil be devoted to seeing the beauty of the islands that is slowly being eroded.. Bohol or some other place, but with just me and Rizza

First time I was there I was sick as a dog for 8 of the 10 days I lost a stone in weight but loved every minute of it

It's good you want to go back Sean, there is an awful lot to see!

Jim

[JimOttley]

I enjoyed reading your thread, but i also had impression that u seen more of the negative side of Philippines.

What you said was true though, safety, taxi, beggars,and poverty, My hubby liked it though the complexity of the place, people are nosey, but nice, people could be sooo poor yet soo happy, the squatters area behind big subdivisions, the difference of scenery as soon as your out of Manila. are crazy but its just what Philippines is all about..

And what I like more about Filipinos (i realize it after going back home) are they live for today, i notice about most of British people(no offense meant here) they always about future, retirement which is a good thing but sometimes you missed what's today, enjoy what you already have.

There is a danger in only living for today, which is that if you only ever live for today, it lets you forget the mistakes of the past and allows you to fail to plan the foundations of your future, the "good" foundations of which are often based on the lessons learned in the past.

Happy go lucky works when you are young, single and free, I mean that a total "happy go lucky" attitude can work but it's not so effective a strategy when you get older and especially once you have children.


Jim

[Sim11UK]

And what I like more about Filipinos (i realize it after going back home) are they live for today, i notice about most of British people(no offense meant here) they always about future, retirement which is a good thing but sometimes you missed what's today, enjoy what you already have.

Very true, I have to agree with you.

[JimOttley]

Hi Northerner, I really enjoy reading your posts, but I sense that the Philippines was a bit of a disapointment to you, which is a real shame.

Whenever I come back, I can't wait to get back there again...Yes it has lots of problems & there are things I don't like, but it's always going to be a part of my life now & I welcome that...Will probably be living there at some point.

I'm sure you probably felt a little bit claustrophobic, being with her family most of the time. I would have done too. Perhaps you should have taken her to Boracay or Bohol, or somewhere, so you were both on neutral ground & could get to know each other better...We did this on my first trip.

Me too

[South-east boy]

First time I was there I was sick as a dog for 8 of the 10 days I lost a stone in weight but loved every minute of it

It's good you want to go back Sean, there is an awful lot to see!

Jim

Oh no! How come you were so Ill? When I went to Canada years ago I ended with gastroentiritus and even ended up in hospital on a drip for 3 days! I've also had gastroenitiritus at home too (well when I was still living with my parents).

[jonathan47]

for me the philippines will be part of me forever now, and i am happy for it to be the bad is far outweighed by the good, i find being in a province away with my mahal away from family but always respectful to family needs is the real philippines the people amaze me, i love that my mahal loves me for who i am for the real me not for any pretentious bullshit, not for the trapings of life but for me .... that she can look beyond my shell although she tells me i gwapo macho !!! heheheh and show me a love i have never experienced before.


regards


jonathan

[JimOttley]

Oh no! How come you were so Ill? When I went to Canada years ago I ended with gastroentiritus and even ended up in hospital on a drip for 3 days! I've also had gastroenitiritus at home too (well when I was still living with my parents).

This was five years ago

I came down with the flu and got a couple of bad stomachs plus nasty bowels for about 4 days of it, the flu was all 8 days, didn't stop me getting around.

Since then I once seriously sprained my ankle 10 hours before my flight, could barely drag myself up the stairs at home never mind through 3 airports but I managed it, I swear I hopped all the way through Glasgow, Dubai and NAIA dragging my case behind me, went to the doc the day after I arrived and got it inspected and bandaged up, was ok by the end of the first week that time but it was one of the worst sprains I ever suffered (I'm prone to sprained ankles had to give up Badminton because of them sadly).

Had serious food poisoning one time and ended up in Manila Doctors (I think) hospital at 5am on an intravenous Dextrose drip to rehydrate me good hospital that one. Nanay never forgave herself as it was food she had cooked in the provinces in the morning and brought back to the condo that evening that did for me

I've had a few other short illnesses over there but I get through it quite well usually.

Jim