Noel and Jonalyn

[liane]

.... Cynical ?.... NO

Realistic ? YES !

Thanks for the rep BBJ

[oakbranch]

Reasons for my “concern/doubt” ????

1. … from your first post .. “… a nursing aide ….due to travel here on a work visa”. It’s almost impossible to get a work visa these days, and for a nursing aide ???? not even a fully qualified nurse ? , even more difficult.
So, where was she supposed to work ? ….. which hospital, residential care home ? Have u asked, and checked via the net if the name/address of the hospital matches, if human resources there are aware of her ?

2. “medical certificate” stolen…… ”this was renewable in Manila but naturally they wanted to charge an extortionate amount of money” …. doesn’t ring true. Also …”She didn't have that and neither did I”…. so she asked for money, yes ? How much ? I’m sure others on here have had to replace a certificate, so have an idea what the charge is.

3. so….. she had a work visa, but has abandoned it because of the “stolen” certificate ? I don’t think so ! Most Filipinas would move heaven & earth to get to the UK on that work visa. I don’t believe she ever had one.

4. Who suggested Manila as a potential “meeting” ground… you or her ? GenSan is safe, and Davao even safer. Perhaps she’s not keen on bumping into people she knows while she’s with you .

5. “I have sent her some packages and these have gone to a family friend in General Santos City” ….. why ? …… the postal service works reasonably well through-out the Philippines. Or perhaps she’s not keen on you knowing her actual address, so able to trace her at a later date ?

6. “..communicate with her except by phone at one of her patient's place”. Highly, highly dubious. Do u know of any British nurses who take phone calls from their boyfriends on a landline whilst working at a patient’s home ????

7. Re; the shooting…. “My only source of information is a kind young lady in her apartment named Melissa who speaks no English” … rather convenient eh ? Expect the txt or phone call soon asking for help with the medical bills… or has it already arrived ? Payable to Western Union in her friend’s name ?


Tell you what .... I'll happily send them a wedding gift when they get married (if I'm proven wrong)

Mate - even if I was being set up to be scammed, I would have thought that you could be sensitive enough to restrain yourself with this deluge of cynicism before weighing in with this rather shouty assessment of the situation. I don't find it supportive - it comes over as smug, impertinent and makes assumptions about my judgement.

At some point one has to set aside the suspicion or it becomes incompatible with pursuing the relationship. One has to commit for ones own peace of mind and I have.

I expressed doubts a number of times, she has constantly refused to accept any money from me and continues to do so in order to prove her sincerity. The challenge of living in this atrocious environment means that financial worries are at the forefront of any filipna's mind. There is no benefits system there after all. So don't work - don't eat. It should not become a taboo subject.

If I included details of every point of contact, whether the calls I made were to landlines or cellular (all were to cellphones as it happens)and the relationship of all these contacts to Lyn then I may be asking for advice on whether to go ahead with things. As it stands I have satisfied the majority of my queries. Besides I can only really be scammed if I am sending money - which isn't happening, I can't afford to support her like that. It seems to me that most relationships of this type begin in a way that mirrors a potemtial scammer and at some point we need to recognise that it's less than 5% of them and move on.

I never said she was in the group that was massacred at any point - clearly this was not the case. She was injured by stray gunfire when the goverment troops and police went into the region to disarm the clan. Gung ho soliders and police - not a good combo. I have now spoken to her and she is in some distress and pain. She is returning to her apartment on Saturday we hope and I will continue to talk with her from then. Her mother is going to join her there and help her out while she is recovering from this.

Noel

[Bluebirdjones]

.... and as I also stated ... I'd love to be proven wrong

But too many ambiguious events / things that don't add up for my liking,
But, hell, I ain't the one who's in love with her.

If it works out..... I'll be honestly HAPPY for you.
Everyone deserves some happiness in their lives

I guess time will tell, eh ?

[Tawi2]

Not picking holes in your story Oak,but have you ever actually seen anyone who has been shot?Take it from me,shot twice on Monday and getting out of hospital on Saturday? That just doesnt happen mate,factual,trust me on that The gunmen havent been disarmed nor as far as I am aware were any civilians wounded when the army moved into the area,and thats straight from a friend on Bombo Radio,dont shoot me,I am only the messenger but fact no civvies were shot by army nor police following the massacre,there was no follow up gun battle nor indiscriminate fire as the killers had already vacated the scene of the crime

[oakbranch]

To be honest this thread has completely destroyed my confidence in the whole thing. If I'm being played then it seems a very elaborate story and set of cirumstances for **** all in return.

Frankly I can't really cope with it any more so I am just going to end this, my search and my involvement with this forum really.

I mean what's the point.

Noel

[Tawi2]

Its not that Noel,but when you said your lady had been shot I contacted a friend who works for Bombo(they lost 2 or 3 anchor/reporters in the massacre)I asked which Hospital any locals injured were in,she told me no locals were killed nor injured in any follow ups by friendly forces

[ron]

Hi Noel This is so sad to hear and i will pray that she will recover soon.
Please keep us posted ok

Ron

[aromulus]

Frankly I can't really cope with it any more so I am just going to end this, my search and my involvement with this forum really.

Hang around mate.

You will be glad....

[Dedworth]

I think it might be best to stop any further speculation on this thread and wait for Noel to hear any subsequent developments

[aromulus]

I think it might be best to stop any further speculation on this thread and wait for Noel to hear any subsequent developments

Korrek ka dyann....

[oakbranch]

ok so I spat my dummy out.

It's true I don't know what to think. I respect what Tawi has to say because of his/her posts always being so well informed and up to date.

I don't want to be wrong, obviously, but I can't be scammed because no cash is leaving here. The packages I sent contained an old cellphone and...chocolate. She asked me to send thm to this address in General Santos because she said the post was unreliable out in the sticks where she is - I didn't know either way really so I went along with it.

I think with all this speculation it may be true that I am being set up for something big, I had read that scammers prefer quick in and quick out kind of arrangements but perhaps I have a patient one.

My intention now is simply to let this run it's course and behave safely. As long as I am not parting with cash then the scammer is not succeeding. There is still a plan in place to meet in April. The venue for our meeting had recently been changed so we could meet at her parents place, so I'll just go along with that happening.

I'm on my guard now - just have to hope for the best. And thankyou, I understand that remarks are not deliberately malicious, but come from a desire to help me

Noel x

[Tawi2]

Dont worry about it,everyone spits their dummy out on occassion,the bad thing is spitting the fluff out when we put it back in our mouths she is 7500 miles away,things happen,it will all play out the way its supposed to in the end anyway,whether for good or for bad,but its never wrong to question things or be a little cynical or guarded,its healthy,whatever way it goes be lucky

[Sim11UK]

Yes stick around Noel, don't throw in the towel.

As much as anything, we don't like seeing people being hurt...These long distance relationships, are really hard at times, for everyone who gets themselves involved in them.

Many have been through some rough times, in the process of finding happiness, I'd include myself in that.

[triple5]

Many have been through some rough times, in the process of finding happiness, I'd include myself in that.

Me too April's a long way off, Noel, why not broaden your horizons a little in the meantime. There's lots of nice girls from much safer places than where the troubles are. I gotta be honest, the gunshot thing sounds a little far-fetched. Soon as you can see her on webcam check for those bullet wounds

[iamnoangel]

mmmm... I smell something fishy...

[September]

o

I'm on my guard now - just have to hope for the best. And thankyou, I understand that remarks are not deliberately malicious, but come from a desire to help me

Noel x

Glad, you get what other members says....they just want to help, we hate people being hurt here in the forum

[Tawi2]

Better clarify something I said yesterday on Bombo losing 2 or 3 reporters/anchors,they lost one full time employee and two freelancers who were helping him cover the election.

[whiteraven]

hi noel, its a good idea to stay with the forum and keep us posted of whats going on. i think you are intelligent enough to figure out for yourself as time goes by whats going on

[Florge]

hmmm... no one survived the massacre in Maguindanao.. there was a witness who was also one of the men who fired the gun.... is Jonalyn was one of the survivors.. she won't be in a remote area but in a big hospial and reporters would be hounding her 24/7...

yeah... i'd like to know how she got shot...

[Arthur Little]

hi noel, its a good idea to stay with the forum and keep us posted of whats going on. i think you are intelligent enough to figure out for yourself as time goes by whats going on

with my friend's sentiments, Noel ... and would urge you to stick around, as we really ARE a friendly bunch here. If any of the posts on this thread seemed either insensitive or cynical, it's because they're based on the recent experiences of two of our number who, to all intents and purposes, APPEAR to've been duped big-time by their womenfolk, and we're anxious to forestall the possibility of it happening again.

I do hope you will understand our reasoning.

[oakbranch]

Well folks

Looks like I'm not getting any more answers. Since asking for specific details on this latest injury and a number of other things...zilch..wall of silence

Can't get hold of her - she don't call me - nothing.

So thats that then.

Still it's just a setback. I am now forearmed aren't I?

So am starting my search again and taking it slow

Noel x

[Tawi2]

You called her bluff Noel,asked for specifics and she has clammed up,never take anything as gospel,some of us have lived over there,or been around for a while,she was always chatty and vocal before your request for specifics now theres a wall of silence?Silence sometimes says a lot more than mere words can.

[oakbranch]

You called her bluff Noel,asked for specifics and she has clammed up,never take anything as gospel,some of us have lived over there,or been around for a while,she was always chatty and vocal before your request for specifics now theres a wall of silence?Silence sometimes says a lot more than mere words can.

Tawi I hereby appoint you my chaperone - any future candidates will be directed to you for vetting :P

[Tawi2]

Tawi I hereby appoint you my chaperone - any future candidates will be directed to you for vetting :P

If they are in Mindanao I can always get behind the scenes profiles on them Just be careful,you have to open a lot of oysters to find a pearlThe world is filled with women mate,she might be back in touch actually when she has re-thought her strategyYou know your best plan?Fly to pinas for a holiday,you always meet someone,not artificially on a flat PC screen but live,in the flesh,sans pretences,seriously you can fly in and meet someone within an hour of stepping outside your hotel after your booked in,just be cheerful and chatty and watch what happens

[South-east boy]

Well folks

Looks like I'm not getting any more answers. Since asking for specific details on this latest injury and a number of other things...zilch..wall of silence

Can't get hold of her - she don't call me - nothing.

So thats that then.

Still it's just a setback. I am now forearmed aren't I?

So am starting my search again and taking it slow

Noel x

Am sorry to hear it and can imagine how you feel. Its hard to get to know someone well (or think you have) and then it all suddenly ends, especially if you find out that they were not what you thought. It seems like it was made up, but I wonder why? Unless she had something further planned? Do you know if she did definitely live in the area where she said she did? And don't worry, no-one will think that you're stupid or had bad judgement. Others on here have found out that the lady they were in contact with wasn't genuine and sadly I guess you won't be the last. I guess if we are genuine and honest ourselves, then we think that others are the same and can be a bit too trusting sometimes. Sean (Northener on here) had been scammed before, but later met a lovely lady who he flew out and met just recently (there is a blog on his trip below).

I wonder if there is anywhere on the site (an old thread etc) that has things to look out for if someone isn't genuine or setting you up to scam them? As when you are new to long-distance-relationships, you don't always know of what to look out for and the signs that might say that they are not genuine.

[Tawi2]

You can never cover all the bases or plan for every contingency,there isnt anyone qualified to write a definitive guide to scammers because no one has experience enough and its normally learnt experience and intuition,no one can write a book on negotiating through the minefield of online dating without experiencing lots of women,and by the time you have gained the knowledge you are finally married having waded through a quagmire of unsatisfactory ladies,the scammers are constantly upgrading their ploys,coming up with new schemes,hitting it from a different angle,perhaps she wasnt interested in money but was playing a long term deception angling for the golden-ticket AKA a visa,no one knows,we are all individuals and have different things ticking away in our noggins,I had someone offer to buy me a ticket to fly to Pinas so there are genuine ladies out there

[Sophie]

Well folks

Looks like I'm not getting any more answers. Since asking for specific details on this latest injury and a number of other things...zilch..wall of silence

Can't get hold of her - she don't call me - nothing.

So thats that then.

Still it's just a setback. I am now forearmed aren't I?

So am starting my search again and taking it slow

Noel x

Sorry to hear about this noel, i wish you all the best on your future search and i agree with you on taking it slow next time

[oakbranch]

Thanks for all the comments. Although I threw myself into this whole venture, I am a man of certain life experience and so I'm always prepared for disappointment.

It has failed because partly 1 person was wicked and partly I wanted to succeed at the first time of asking marginally more than seeing ticks in all the boxes. It's nice to feel love after many years of bitterness followed by loneliness. So that would be my excuse,

End of the day I'm still available...anyone introduce me to anyone? :P

Noel x

[Tawi2]

Gimmee a few days Noel,I know a lady,a looker with smarts,cant remember what she is to be honest?A lawyer I think One thing is for certain,she doesnt need your cash and she certainly isnt out to con anyone,been single for years but she looks slim and very,very presentable your probably going to be flooded with offers from everyone on here anyway,a deluge of e-mail addresses,but I will also chat with her and get her mailing addie for you
Best anti-scam write up I remember seeing on here was Northerners,he detailed and listed a number of different ladies types and their techniques As Soph says Noel,take your time,sort the wheat from the chaff,we have all been alone at times but its no bad thing because someone always comes along

[Tawi2]

What are you looking for Noel?What attributes,physical characteristics etc?