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  1. #1
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    Twos company threes a crowd

    I have this theory about my girlfriend that her best friend is in love with her. They live together, and I knew the two of them were close before we met. When I was there her friend would go into these bad moods when the three of us were together, usually started when just the 2 of us would share a private joke. there was definitely a bad vibe between me and her, and at first I couldn't fathom what I might have done to make her dislike me. On the last night there the three of us went out with her cousin who had originally introduced us, and he kept joking about me and my gf spending the last night together and promising not to tell her mum. Every time he mentioned it I glanced at her best friend and you could almost see her heart breaking. In the end she just stormed out the place. There were quite a few instances which gave me reason to think she has strong feelings for my gf.

    Not sure how to handle it. Should I say something to my girlfriend or just let it ride its course?

    And please, no menage a trois jokes ok


  2. #2
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    You said "her" so a woman, my first thought was a man. Does she look lesbian to you? If not, then maybe she is afraid she will lose her friend or maybe she likes you and very much jealous? I am not joking, just thinking of some possible reason.


  3. #3
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    Does she look lesbian to you?
    Yep.

    Thats what i first thought - that she just saw me as a threat to their friendship, but i think there's more to it.


  4. #4
    Respected Member whiteraven's Avatar
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    never heard of a situation like that on here before, i think it might be best to say nothing and let it play itself out.if the feelings arent reciprocated from your g/f then i dont see a problem in the future. maybe as someone else said its just a simple case of jealousy in losing her best friend.


  5. #5
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    It's jealousy, fear, threat and trespassing to a close friendship. Very difficult to handle. Plans and secrets should not be disclosed to the friend so as to discourage any counter plan.


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by nparvus1202 View Post
    Does she look lesbian to you?

    What does a lesbian look like in Philly...???


  7. #7
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Yeah, "two's company, and three's a crowd" certainly seems to ring true here, my friend. I guess you must've felt helluva awkward ... not to mention more than a bit embarrassed ... at this young lady's sullen and - dare I say? - rather churlish behaviour every time she tagged along 'playing gooseberry' as it were.

    If I might ask, what's your girlfriend's reaction to her chum's hostile attitude? I mean, she could hardly have failed to notice the atmosphere between you and the third party. Have you ever dicussed it with her?

    It seems apparent that at least some element of jealousy exists within this threesome. Whether its roots lie in any repressed sexual feelings she might harbour for your girlfriend [given that the two live together] or, in fact. towards YOU, I'm hesitant to speculate. But I DO think the air needs to be cleared one way or the other before the matter interferes with - and mars - what, in many respects, appears to be a promising relationship (judging from what you've mentioned in your earlier post).

    And so, I believe it would be in the long-term interests of all concerned if you were to open up to your girlfriend about your fears. Good Luck, mate!


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    Thanks Arthur, I asked my girlfriend what her friend thought of me, and she said that she hadn't said anything negative. Apparently her bad moods were down to family troubles, but I got the feeling she was milking it a bit, a way to win an arm round her shoulder or a rub on the back. It puts my girlfriend in a tricky situation. I think when I was there she didn't want to trn her back on her friend, somebody whose always there for her. As close as I may feel to her already its nowhere near on a par with what they have. That's what worries me about making an issue of it, I may end up being the odd one out.


  9. #9
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    What does a lesbian look like in Philly...???
    they have short hair and play like the man usually the long haired girl is pretty.

    my wife pointed some out to me,then we saw them at same hotel in puerto galera
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by bornatbirth View Post
    they have short hair and play like the man usually the long haired girl is pretty.

    my wife pointed some out to me,then we saw them at same hotel in puerto galera

    So, in short, you mean to say that in Philly the "lessies" don't look like mingers....

    Don't weigh 280 Lbs apiece, don't wear millions of earrings or body jewellery, and don't drink several pints of cider before glassing some poor bloke in the face just because he kept the door open for them....


  11. #11
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    So, in short, you mean to say that in Philly the "lessies" don't look like mingers....

    Don't weigh 280 Lbs apiece, don't wear millions of earrings or body jewellery, and don't drink several pints of cider before glassing some poor bloke in the face just because he kept the door open for them....


    err the ladies look as pretty as a filipina can be,but the girls who are being the man try to look a bit manish,wearing a t-shirt and shorts
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  12. #12
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Your a threat,plain and simple,they lived together,ate together,maybe even slept together(nothing sexual)at times,they were close,then along you come and rock the boat,upset the equilibreum of their everyday life,if your girlfriend and you become serious the friend is going to be left alone,she realises that and dislikes you for it,hence the frostiness in the air,the bad vibes at times.They arent T-birds,just have a good friendship that one thinks your about to drive a wedge between.



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  13. #13
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Your a threat,plain and simple,they lived together,ate together,maybe even slept together(nothing sexual)at times,they were close,then along you come and rock the boat,upset the equilibreum of their everyday life,if your girlfriend and you become serious the friend is going to be left alone,she realises that and dislikes you for it,hence the frostiness in the air,the bad vibes at times.They arent T-birds,just have a good friendship that one thinks your about to drive a wedge between.
    yep,a very big wegde

    you hit the nail on the head
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by bornatbirth View Post
    yep,a very big wegde
    thanks, but flattery will get you nowhere


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Your a threat,plain and simple,they lived together,ate together,maybe even slept together(nothing sexual)at times,they were close,then along you come and rock the boat,upset the equilibreum of their everyday life,if your girlfriend and you become serious the friend is going to be left alone,she realises that and dislikes you for it,hence the frostiness in the air,the bad vibes at times.They arent T-birds,just have a good friendship that one thinks your about to drive a wedge between.

    Spot on most likely in the UK many blokes or ladies will have a mate who will not be happy when their best mate wants to settle down and they know they will lose the great friendship they have..
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  16. #16
    Respected Member Pete67's Avatar
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    Perhaps it would be good for both of them to spend some time alone together maybe one day or evening a week? then you could not be seen as being any sort of threat to their friendship? and it would also show you recognise their bond? I think a lot of women need to stay connected with feminine energies at some level. btw, I am actually a southerner born and bred and work in Brighton, so that might explain my point of view and mine's a half of shandy if you were asking......,


  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by triple5 View Post
    I have this theory about my girlfriend that her best friend is in love with her. They live together, and I knew the two of them were close before we met. When I was there her friend would go into these bad moods when the three of us were together, usually started when just the 2 of us would share a private joke. there was definitely a bad vibe between me and her, and at first I couldn't fathom what I might have done to make her dislike me. On the last night there the three of us went out with her cousin who had originally introduced us, and he kept joking about me and my gf spending the last night together and promising not to tell her mum. Every time he mentioned it I glanced at her best friend and you could almost see her heart breaking. In the end she just stormed out the place. There were quite a few instances which gave me reason to think she has strong feelings for my gf.

    Not sure how to handle it. Should I say something to my girlfriend or just let it ride its course?

    And please, no menage a trois jokes ok
    it is jealousy ..Because your gf got you and she has none...


    my bro in law lives with her fil nurse gf here in UK (together for 2 years) , my bro in law owns the house. his gf had a friend they work together but the friend got ill and had op after recovery she went home to Phil when its time to come back she has no place to stay so her friend offered the small room in my bro in laws house and each time we call in this friend would say things about my bro in laws gf that she dont look after him , shes always out (slagging her friend who offered her a place to stay) to make the story short my bro in law and gf split up and now the gf is the friend. They stayed together in the same house for about 3 months. The new gf kicked her friend out the house --
    If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .


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