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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Hubbard View Post
    I let my wife read what you had said, she was outraged about Jennifer.

    My wife feels that Jennifer probably had a Filipino Boyfriend, and you were funding their relationship she thinks the "family" was just an excuse.
    Im very sorry Mic, but i think this is true....maybe she have a filipino boyfriend ( no job) which keep pushing to jennifer to ask a money from you....


  2. #32
    Respected Member somebody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Hi all,
    This is a recap on Jennifer and Michael, she seemed to be beginning to adjust to our UK time and overcoming the jet lag! After her arrival here on 29th April 2009.
    We went to Southampton to see the “Sound of Music” with my brother and his wife then had an Indian meal afterwards.
    There was a Filipina in the same housing complex as us, who lost her husband a few weeks ago Jennifer and her were getting on well and have been shopping together and cooked a Filipino meals for us some night, but she was going home to Cebue when everything is in order and has now gone.
    They went to church on Sunday 4th Oct, then in the afternoon Jennifer said she wanted to go home!
    She has a computer here with Skype and yahoo messenger on that she has been using in the mornings to contact friends and family.
    I am retired so she was not left here on her own
    We had lots of replies from the group when I asked for suggestions and several Filipina's living here phoned Jennifer.

    But on Monday the 12 October Jennifer was again in a state and also then said she needed to go home until her 2 younger siblings had the operations they needed, but were still not arranged for a date as her father still could not get his share of the money together, I had already paid a large sum towards the cost.
    She said she would come back after the operations, but I pointed out to her that her visa conditions may not allow her to re enter the UK.
    So I ended up getting a ticket online and arranged a taxi from Southampton and took her to Cowes she asked for £3,500 to go home with, I gave her £500

    Because of the visa and flight cost, (she wanted to go home in February for a month for her sisters wedding) as far as I am concerned this is the end of the marriage.

    Can I ask if anyone can advise if she is entitled to further support from me, I am not bothered about divorce unless I have to.

    We met in 2007, and married in April 2008, I had sent her £2000 for our honeymoon money, but when I arrived there for the wedding most of it had been used so I had to use my bank cards to have money, then she disappeared for around 4 months after the wedding with the money I had left with her for visa and flight cost again around £2000.

    I am sure she was with me only for the money she could get, in all now she has had around £19,000

    We made love once on the honeymoon, and not at all when she was here, in fact she went to bed fully clothed and slept on top the quilt (I had bought a new bed and thick quilt).

    If anyone reads back these figures may be a little out but not much.

    Can anyone advise please?
    Mick.

    As others say Cancel the Visa asap. Divorce well maybe worth not doing and if she ever wants to marry she should find that a big problem and a bit of Karma.

    If she is not in the UK then she will be hard pressed to claim maintance but of course always get some legal advice just to be certain.
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  3. #33
    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    SOrry to hear that Mick..... As they said cancel her visa.
    LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL


  4. #34
    Respected Member islander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
    Mick.
    ABSOLUTELY NO!

    Enough is enough Mick! Don't worry much about financially supporting her, considering that some men in Phils. even get away with supporting their wives & kids whom they left for a mistress, seems horrible though! I think now is your revengeance time... sounds bad I suppose! At least, make her regret for the rest of her life the wrong decisions she made. As what others suggest, cancel her visa & cut all contacts with her.

    Honestly, being a filipino myself felt so mad & ashamed for what she did to you!

    Move on Mick & Enjoy the beauty of Life!
    with a heart full of love, you will express your highest potential while also fulfilling your soul's deepest purpose:
    TO LOVE AND BE LOVED!


  5. #35
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
    Mick.
    hey mick dont worry she is not entitled to any maintenance from you. you have given her more than enough. and if she expects you to send her more money then she is a 'USER', she did not give your marriage a chance to work, she without thinking of you decided to go back home. she is on her own now. and i am sure that when her money runs out she will try to get in contact with you again with another sad story, please do not fall for it again.

    you are a very decent person and you deserve to be happy. forget her, she is not worth it.

    goodluck..
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    .
    Yes and it really makes my blood boils!!!
    UNWANTED LIST is good!! Thanks for the support Sophie but we need to clearly distinguish the RIGHT PEOPLE. Like say, there should be rules where you can only put the pictures & name shame them, IF AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE MET THEM & WAS SCAMMED.

    This is an utterly disgusted behaviour.

    I really hope no one will be scammed in the future.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    I totally agree


    Very disgusting

    Wish you all the best in future, Mick.
    It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.


  7. #37
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Water under the bridge now Mick,no amount of recriminations can turn back the clock(though we did it for an hour last night),just take some time,heal your mind and heart,never rush into love,its going to find you when its good and ready,be lucky



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  8. #38
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    hi mick! glad u r doing fine...

    you're not entitled to support her financially as she's the one who left you and the fact that she just used you. good thing she didn't get pregnant.

    as most said cancel her visa coz she has a chance to come back here in UK without you knowing it.

    best of luck! and take care always!


  9. #39
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    hi mick,

    good to hear from you again...

    divorce her... asap... cancel her visa.. asap...


  10. #40
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    Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


    Jim


  11. #41
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimOttley View Post
    Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


    Jim
    Yeah, I can see your point Jim, but on the other hand shall I find myself in the same situation as Mick I would start all the proceedings (visa cancellation, anullment etc...) as quickly as possible...
    Heads up Mick, wish you more luck next time
    Jiri & Maricel


  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimOttley View Post
    Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


    Jim
    Now that sounds Evil! But in a way I like it!!

    Cancelling her visa and not divorcing her! Hmmmm.. That could cause her bother in the future.


  13. #43
    Respected Member somebody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northerner View Post
    Now that sounds Evil! But in a way I like it!!

    Cancelling her visa and not divorcing her! Hmmmm.. That could cause her bother in the future.
    Indeed would be a shame
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  14. #44
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimOttley View Post
    Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


    Jim
    Hi Jim and all,
    I do not want to divrce her for that very reason, it seems that could me a sort of revenge with the way she has treated me, but I was woried about her claming support from me, but as somone else said once she has spent the money she took with her, she would most likly not be able to pay for a lawer.
    She has had enough money from me.
    Thanks Mick.


  15. #45
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Hi Jim and all,
    I do not want to divrce her for that very reason, it seems that could me a sort of revenge with the way she has treated me,
    but if you do meet someone else in the future, you'll have to go thru the divorce/annulment process which could take many months which may cause problems with any future relationship, and you would be cutting ties with her for good, so you can move on and be free again


  16. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Hi Jim and all,
    I do not want to divrce her for that very reason, it seems that could me a sort of revenge with the way she has treated me, but I was woried about her claming support from me, but as somone else said once she has spent the money she took with her, she would most likly not be able to pay for a lawer.
    She has had enough money from me.
    Thanks Mick.
    She would have a hard time taking any action from that distance Mick.

    Even in cases where there are children the Child Support Agency in the UK will not accept an application for a child living abroad.

    Would cost her a fortune to pursue you, best if you change your phone numbers and get a new email address, yahoo account etc.

    And of course as others have said get her Visa cancelled!

    Hope you get through this sir you have had a rough time!


    Jim


  17. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    but if you do meet someone else in the future, you'll have to go thru the divorce/annulment process which could take many months which may cause problems with any future relationship, and you would be cutting ties with her for good, so you can move on and be free again
    That's a fair point Joe, there is also the issue of inheritance not sure how easy it is to disinherit a wife in English law


    Jim


  18. #48
    Respected Member ginapeterb's Avatar
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    Hi Mick, have been watching this thread, I have noticed you are concerned about any claims for maintenance from this woman who seems to have been very well maintained going by the figures you quoted.

    Firstly, maintenance agreements cannot be forthcoming unless they form part of a divorce agreement, i.e. a financial directions hearing has taken place at a family court in front of a sitting county court recorder or district Judge.

    I assume that has not happened as yet, firstly, maintenance is based on the circumstances of the marriage, i.e. how long did the petitioner and the respondent live together, has the petitioner, assuming she would be able to launch divorce proceedings against you, which I find very hard to believe and has to be said is 99 per cent unlikely considering you tell us she has high tailed it back ti Pinas.

    If she is living in Pinas now, what maintenance can she claim ? she could only do so if she visited a UK Solicitor and just by some stroke of miracle tried to actually launch a divorce case against you, but if she did, what would be the grounds ? divorce cases involving marriages where there are no children are generally quick and easy to settle, and in such circumstances as yours, where the marriage has not subsisted longer than a few months, with an affidavit from yourself detailing the following points, would almost likely be resolved by a dismissal of the claim for maintenance and a decision to grant a no fault divorce in your favour.

    You married in 2008, you funded the marriage, and visa application, she was out of communicado for 4 months, made no attempt to contact you, is in itself, in the UK courts, grounds for divorce, under 'Unreasonable behaviour' it appears to me, you would be the petitioner in this matter.

    The above would show very clearly to any district judge or court recorder that in fact your wife of very few months has indeed contracted marriage with a view to extort money, there have actually been several cases in the UK i have researched where foreigners from mainly Thailand, Philippines and also funnily enough India and Pakistan, where British citizens have contracted marriage thinking that their relationships would subsist and be genuine, where courts have thrown out the cases, where maintenance and or cash lump sum payments have been requested, on the grounds, that the petitioners are gold diggers.

    There are precedents, in the UK Mick for this sort of behaviour, I think you will find that judges sitting in county courts are pretty good at smelling these cases, and seem to react very strongly in favour of the respondent if they think an injustice is taking place, also this woman has gone back to Philippines, she was also here in the UK on a temporary visa, subject to strict immigration control.

    She is not as yet classed as a full UK resident, nor should she think that she is, she is at best a temporary resident, and the marriage with you must subsist at least for 24 months before any applications for further leave to remain or indefinate leave to remain may be considered.

    My advice to you, along with the advices given by others regarding her visa, is at first point, to get the address for the Nationality and Immigration service, address a full detailed letter to the them, and state that as of the date she left, that you are no longer living together as man and wife, I would not elaborate on your story too much.

    You should simply state, that under the terms of the marriage visa, that is for 24 months, your wife has decided to return to the Philippines indefinately, and that she is not expected to return, you must state in your letter that your wife has told you that she does not intend to live in the United Kingdom with you at any time, now or in the future.

    Now doing this, will then alert the UKVisas to your case, who will then no doubt over course of a few weeks, seek to either put restrictions on your wife's visa should she attempt to re-enter the UK, i.e. finding another Filipino family to live with, or as is common these days, a.n.other group of Filipino workers, do not be surprised if that happens, and she is living somewhere else with others.

    At least even if she was in UK, her chances of getting permanent residence would be blocked.

    That might take care of the visa situation, but it would not take care of the marriage, after all, one must remember, the marriage is not linked technically to living as man and wife in the UK, it may be that the alternative, was that you lived with her in Philippines.

    If you are not going to re-marry again, then you might not wish to bother with instigating a divorce petition in the UK court, since she is in the Philippines, its very hard to serve someone, I can think of a few people on this forum, who would love to track her down in Pinas and serve her with your petition personally, however I am not sure about the legality of serving someone in a foreign country.

    No it seems to me, she is back in Philippines, she cannot launch any requests for maintenance from there, since Philippines has no jurisdiction in UK law, she is not likely to do that.

    Are you in any danger from her requests for money, I think not, she has had the best out of you, but I would say this Mick, some people say love is blind and the signs are not there, I have to be hard here and say, you did see the signs.

    The signs were always there, that she was a gold digger and just out for your money, when she disappeared for 4 months, that was evidenciary in itself that she was just up to the same.

    Why did you go ahead and bring her to UK, you new back then she could not be trusted, if you ask any happily married guy here at the forum what he would have done in such circumstance they would have told you end it there and then.

    And to say you admit to giving her close to £19,000 is quite frankly absolutely scandalous and fool hardy, and your state that made love only once, ?????? ONCE ??????? INCREDIBLE !!!!

    And this is the BEST BIT FOR ME ! She gets into bed fully clothed, that in itself in UK courts is actually unreasonable behaviour in any event, yes all the signs were there, refusal to make love for me only comes in marriages that are well along in years, well not refusal to make love.

    Avoiding sex by complaining they have headaches, tired, worked hard that day, not feeling well, and a host of other well known complaints.

    No I think you could see all the signs were there, but you chose to continue on in any event, you knew back then she was no good, but you thought maybe she would change, but they rarely do you know, does a Leopard change its spots, nope, its in her nature I am afraid to say, but as for maintenance, stop worrying, its not going to happen.


  19. #49
    Respected Member liane's Avatar
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    Hi Mick, I am glad to hear from you again. We were wondering how you were doing after what happened to you.
    It would be better not to have any contact with her, she took advantage of you and used you for her own benefit. You don't deserved someone like her. It was too sad to learn that after you gone through just to be with her this was what you got- you even spent too much money.
    Anyway hope you be better soon.
    Though you do not write books, you are the writer of your life. Because everything depends on YOU.


  20. #50
    Restricted Access September's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
    Mick.
    Wake up Mick, you dont need to support her, tell her you decided to go home,her choice thats it, enough letting her use you, I didnt read if there is reply that u can carry on sending her money, but that is silly thing to do again,


  21. #51
    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginapeterb View Post

    Now doing this, will then alert the UKVisas to your case, who will then no doubt over course of a few weeks, seek to either put restrictions on your wife's visa should she attempt to re-enter the UK, i.e. finding another Filipino family to live with, or as is common these days, a.n.other group of Filipino workers, do not be surprised if that happens, and she is living somewhere else with others.

    At least even if she was in UK, her chances of getting permanent residence would be blocked.
    I told Mick about this possibility in a PM when he first posted that she had left and gone home. I heard of a case from a friend when I was in the Philippines where a freind of this friend who's wife left to return to the Philippines shortly after arriving in the UK. Her husband found out later through the Filipino grapvine that she actually returned to the UK a few weeks later and was working in London.

    For this reason I think it's really important to get her visa cancelled and I really think Mick should divorce her because, although it would be great to leave her in limbo marriage wise, as things stand, if anything happened to him she might be able to inherit his estate.

    Iain.


  22. #52
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IainBusby View Post
    I think it's really important to get her visa cancelled and I really think Mick should divorce her because, although it would be great to leave her in limbo marriage wise, as things stand, if anything happened to him she might be able to inherit his estate.

    Iain.
    "Revenge is sweet!" But, in this case, Mick ... as Iain points out ... IF [God forbid!] anything happened to YOU, the LAST thing you'd want, is Jennifer claiming [even a small part] of what rightly belongs solely to your dependents.

    So (at the risk of appearing in any way morbid) I would urge you to instigate divorce proceedings asap. I'm no lawyer, but it would seem to me that you have more than adequate grounds for doing so.

    Take Care, Mick, and Good Luck, my friend. You deserve the best, and I just wish things had worked out differently for the pair of you!!


  23. #53
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    "Revenge is sweet!" But, in this case, Mick ... as Iain points out ... IF [God forbid!] anything happened to YOU, the LAST thing you'd want, is Jennifer claiming [even a small part] of what rightly belongs solely to your dependents.

    So (at the risk of appearing in any way morbid) I would urge you to instigate divorce proceedings asap. I'm no lawyer, but it would seem to me that you have more than adequate grounds for doing so.

    Take Care, Mick, and Good Luck, my friend. You deserve the best, and I just wish things had worked out differently for the pair of you!!
    Hi Arthur and all,
    When she disapeared stright after we married, In the 3rd month I did see a solicitor who of course said I could not start a divorce untill a year after the wedding
    so we then rewrite my will to make it as difficult as possible for her to inherate after my death.
    I need to dig the will out to be sure but I think it was done by putting address unknown, which was true I know I did not tell him her family address in CDO.
    I am going to print most of the groups replies so I can go through them better.
    Jennifer last contacted me to say she was home on the 14th October so I expect I will next hear from her when the £500 I gave her when she went home has gone, I will then ignor her messages and let her stew as she did me after the wedding.
    I would be very suprised if she turned up here (unless she has saved some money)
    I would expect her to say she wanted to come back and needed the money for the fare! and of course she will get no more money.

    She did say when she was here that she wanted a job that paid good money and was upset when I said there were not many that paid much on the Isle of Wight.
    As far as my estate goes she has allready had most of it anyhow.
    I live in an Housing Assocation flat, so there is no money from that.
    Thanks everyone you have all helped get my head stright.
    Mick.


  24. #54
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    Hi Arthur and all,
    When she disapeared stright after we married, In the 3rd month I did see a solicitor who of course said I could not start a divorce untill a year after the wedding
    so we then rewrite my will to make it as difficult as possible for her to inherate after my death.
    I need to dig the will out to be sure but I think it was done by putting address unknown, which was true I know I did not tell him her family address in CDO.
    I am going to print most of the groups replies so I can go through them better.
    Jennifer last contacted me to say she was home on the 14th October so I expect I will next hear from her when the £500 I gave her when she went home has gone, I will then ignor her messages and let her stew as she did me after the wedding.
    I would be very suprised if she turned up here (unless she has saved some money)
    I would expect her to say she wanted to come back and needed the money for the fare! and of course she will get no more money.

    She did say when she was here that she wanted a job that paid good money and was upset when I said there were not many that paid much on the Isle of Wight.
    As far as my estate goes she has allready had most of it anyhow.
    I live in an Housing Assocation flat, so there is no money from that.
    Thanks everyone you have all helped get my head stright.
    Mick.
    Hi all,
    Aslight correction to the post above, Jennifer did contact me a few times after she arrived home at CDO, mostly to say she is arranging the operations of her siblings, I had allready paid £3,000 towards this and they were to have the operations in July, her father was going to pay the rest, but has not come up with the money.
    It may be she thinks I will now pay the balance so that she will then return here?
    She must think I have a bottomless pit of money, despite my telling her not.

    We had an appointment at my bank to open a seperate account for her fed from mine for 2 days after she decided to go home, I am relived we did not do that before.

    She will be getting no reply or money when/if she does contact me about that.

    I have removed her photos I had on the walls including our wedding ones and have stored them in a cubbard for now.

    All the best,
    Mick.


  25. #55
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginapeterb View Post
    Hi Mick, have been watching this thread, I have noticed you are concerned about any claims for maintenance from this woman who seems to have been very well maintained going by the figures you quoted.
    Hi Pete,
    A big thank you for your very extensive reply, my head is getting clearer now and I will take the advice given.
    Thanks again,
    Mick.


  26. #56
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mickcant View Post
    I have removed her photos I had on the walls including our wedding ones and have stored them in a cubbard for now.

    All the best,
    Mick.

    Good for you Mick and take care always.


  27. #57
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    Nice to hear you moved on, the reason god put the brain on head meaning use the brain before the heart, all the best for your future mick, you really sound a nice man


  28. #58
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    I know now after this experinece you will floow your head. You obviously gave everything and she is the one who as killed it. You have to stand firm and make her realise the mistake she made. Mick I really wish you all the best and hope the future is a better one for you. Ron


  29. #59
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    Hi Mick,
    I won't add anymore because it's all been said, I just want to send you a virtual hug.
    Mark, Cristina & Raffy


  30. #60
    Respected Member laurel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi Mick,
    I won't add anymore because it's all been said, I just want to send you a virtual hug.
    I second that...keep ya chin up


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