Results 1 to 30 of 142
Hybrid View
-
13th October 2009 #1
Sad news about Jennifer and Michael
Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.
She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.
I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.
-
13th October 2009 #2
oh Mick, sorry to hear about what happened..I am really lost for words now..
Ur love for her is really unconditional, but she's still coming back here in the UK right?
-
13th October 2009 #3
Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.
She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.
I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.
-
13th October 2009 #4
-
13th October 2009 #5
Mick, Be strong ! You are a real gentleman like my hubby, We can almost feel how much you are hurting now.But God is so good! Life is still beautiful be firm and try to keep in touch with her....
Im sure you got close friends, try to talk to them, or just stay here in this forum say whats in your heart,in your mind, it may lessen the pain you are feeling right now.
We are here to listen to you, try to comfort you. God bless!Marlyn & Kenny forever
-
13th October 2009 #6
hi mick,im so sorry things didnt turn out as you wished or deserved. this is the second time i have had to go through the spousal visa process,my late wife being an american. it takes a long time to get through things like this, i myself was in a dark place mentally for at least six months. what helped me in the end was getting to know new friends and finding a new purpose in life. it will take time and although it may seem hopeless at the moment but things will get better. i hope you keep in touch with your wife and dont bear her any grudge as it seems she has need of support herself. best of luck in the future and stay with us here.
-
13th October 2009 #7
And when the honeymoon is over "!
Hello Mick,
I truly am very sorry to hear of your wife's flight back from Heathrow this morning, I suppose you went to see her off, and are still there, as the flight is going shortly, it must be heartbreaking for you, to have to go through this at such a harrowing moment in your life.
Needless to say, I would want you to know you are not alone in this right now, your friends at this forum are with you, sadly, we know from past experiences, these things do happen from time to time.
Some Filipina's just cannot settle in the UK, no matter how much the support and love from the husband, I remember a couple of years ago, how there was a similar story, and of course many of us might remember, when poor David, lost his wife Jasmine, who died in hospital shortly after child birth.
I remember when David was going through his visa situation, having spoken to him many times on mobile phone, only to find Jasmine safely arrived in UK, and then shortly after, less than a year, the poor guy lost his wife in hospital.
These stories stick in ones mind, and of course your story today will no doubt stick in all our minds, of just how hit and miss the whole matter is, don't always assume in the future, that when this road you travel down, ends up in happiness and a happy love story, if this proves anything, it proves that not is all as it seems for everyone, there are trials and tribulations to go through, getting a positive visa decision and jumping for joy does not always lead to a happy conclusion to what I call the "Philippines project".
I can only say at this time, I am feeling your sorrow and heartache, Jennifer obviously could not settle in the UK, in truth, life here can be dull at times, for Filipina's who are used to the hustle and bustle of cities such as Cagayan de Oro, in this case Jennifer's home town, our quite rural towns and villages can be sometimes depressing.
I am sure now she has boarded, she will be deep in thought about what has happened, the fact that you have paid her flight home, goes to show what sort of man you are, a complete gentleman it seems to me.
And I think your actions in this matter have spoken louder than any words, I am sure many others on this forum would note your gentlemanly behavior in this matter, and hope you stay with us on this forum, I think now Mick its a time to reflect on your situation, perhaps take some time over next few days to see where life will take you, no doubt you are devastated, but I think time itself will be a great healer, in due course, I am sure you will pick up your life again, and in this I wish you very well.Pete_Forum Moderator
Philippines marriage, Courtships, UK Entry Clearance
-
13th October 2009 #8
i am so sorry to hear that mick..
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
-
13th October 2009 #9
Thank you Pete,
I took Jennifer to Southampton from our home on the Isle of Wight last night and put her in an Airport transfere taxi to Heathrow, for her flight home. I have an elderly dog I cannot just go off and leave alone.,
I am heart broken and will need time to heal from this, as a much older man than my wife I know many will think I was foolish hoping for love and happiness.
I do of course hope she finds what she wants in life.
Mick.
-
13th October 2009 #10
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- Devon - no - Oxford - no - Stalybridge - no - errr - UK
- Posts
- 2,479
- Rep Power
- 87
I echo Peter's sentiments entirely.
I'm sure that most of us have stories to tell.
For myself I remember the day I arrived back from Scotland to find that my ex had left our home, taking our 2 children with her. I had done nothing wrong - it was she who had decided 'shack up' with another man, yet I lost my children!!!!!
The feeling I had was beyond pain.
I feel for you Mick, as I'm sure we all do.
Remember though, you have a family on here - we care.
Onwards and upwards eh?
Al.Pressed rat and warthog closed down their shop!
-
13th October 2009 #11
oh dear what a sad news, Mick reading your post really saddened me...
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."~ Unknown
-
13th October 2009 #12
We are very sorry to hear that Jennifer decided to leave you.... Just keep your faith unto the Lord that soon Jennifer will realize how much u love her.
We also pray that you will soon mend whatever trials you have right now, I believe in Love, if there's love between two people; "no matter what happens they will overcome all trials that come their way and hold on to each other because there is love!"
With prayers,Marlyn & Kenny forever
-
13th October 2009 #13
i admire the love you have for her sir.
love is a verb its not a feeling u lose/it is something u do/
-
13th October 2009 #14
i admire the love you have for her sir. its not the end.
love is a verb its not a feeling u lose/it is something u do/
-
13th October 2009 #15
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Posts
- 2,571
- Rep Power
- 80
Hi mick, i'm so sorry to hear about your wife leaving back to the philippines....
I admire you for being strong and so understanding and supportive to your wife despite the fact that you're hurting inside and in great sadness.....
It just shows how good you are as a person and as a husband and how big and unconditional your love is for your wife.....i hope she realizes that.....
How old are her younger sibblings by the way mick, if you don't mind my asking?"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
-
13th October 2009 #16
I just read your story from the early days through till now,its not your fault mick,be lucky.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
-
13th October 2009 #17
-
13th October 2009 #18
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Posts
- 2,571
- Rep Power
- 80
Primarily, my personal view is that you and your marriage should be her top priority now, as you are her family now.....
And her family back home is suppose to be the second priority this time................ideally, that's how it should be....
And for a moment, i felt she was a bit inconsiderate of your feelings and all your efforts, not to mention all the money it cost you for everything......
It's like she let everything down the drain when she decided to leave in just 2 weeks of being here, after such a long wait and much anticipation of her arrival....
But on the otherhand, i also understand how concerned she is of the welfare of her 2 younger sibblings in the hands of their father and stepmother....
I take it she must be carrying the burden of responsibility for her sibblings, with her mother gone and her father having a new family already...
I don't know how bad the situation is, but if she is bothered that much, then probably the situation of her sibblings back home is really bad.....
My only question is how bad is it? Is it bad enough for her to put your marriage on hold and leave it hanging????.....
I really feel for you mick and i feel for your wife too.....I can imagine how tough it must be for both of you and this is a hard situation to go through.....
May you both be able to work this situation out, so your marriage don't suffer much as well as her younger sibblings....
And i really hope you can both sort this out without sacrificing one over the other and vice versa......"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
-
13th October 2009 #19
Sorry to hear about that, Mick. From reading other posts of yours you seem like a real gent, and you deserve a little better than that. She knew the score with her family before she came to the UK, and 2 weeks isn't really long enough to give things a chance. Anyway, hope it works out somehow for you. Best of luck.
-
13th October 2009 #20
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- hampshire
- Posts
- 363
- Rep Power
- 59
-
13th October 2009 #21
I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.
She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.
She obviously does not trust the man to take care of the kids. So she runs to her siblings side, to shield them from this nasty man bad influence. Is he really that bad Mick?
Is a Filipino man seen as so stupid he cannot bring a child up? I challenge the Filipinos here to explain this one. Are men looked on as no good with kids? Educate him then, don't take over his duty.It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
-
13th October 2009 #22
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Posts
- 1,726
- Rep Power
- 0
I agree!
When she gets married to you she sacrifices her right to do things like this and to take advantage of your good gentlemanly nature.
I can't help but think that you got the short end of the stick that you didn't deserve.
Marriage calls for maturity and sacrifice. You sacrificed. Thousands of pounds, not to mention your blood sweat and tears, just to be slapped in the face with this kind of immature non-sacrificing, selfish, short termed myopia?
:HeadButter:
I was delighted when I saw the picture you had put on here a cpl weeks back with her walking thru the terminal. I thought, hopefully, soon that will be my wife, but I got so when I read what you had put here.
Heed what triple5 and Gary2J says.
My 2 centavos
Jim Hub
-
13th October 2009 #23
Thank you for your advice.
Her fathers 2nd family are seperate from Jennifers family.
they know about each other but do not mix.
Many things I have given to Jennifer for her family her dad has taken to his 2nd family.
How could I keep her here as she was crying to go back to the philippines.
She would not let me cuddle her even.
Mick.
-
13th October 2009 #24
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Posts
- 1,726
- Rep Power
- 0
Sir, personally I think that it was premature . . . it was only two weeks. I think you could have told her to stay here for a number of months and if she still felt the same way, she could go back.
But, all things considered, given the history of your relationship, the course of events that happened could have been predicted, cooler heads prevailing. Of course, I know what it is to be blinded by love
You are a true gentleman, but you got walked over. I think you could have been tougher ... :(
-
13th October 2009 #25
Hi, do you not think I tried my best to get her to stay!!!!
I could have been branded anythink if I kept her here against her will!
I love Jennifer very much.
I realise two weeks is too short to judge on, When we married I was there 2 months, I would have willingly lived there _if_ she wanted me to and I could afford to.
Mick.
-
13th October 2009 #26
You respected her needs.I hope she does the same for you. No cuddles is mad! Why bloody not, after everything you do.
I mean you fought all that red tape to get her here, and she disappears. I guess once she solves those problems, she can be back again. Talk about it the issues that affect you both.
You need to tell her how this makes you feel. You needs were not fulfill.It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
-
15th October 2009 #27
Hi Gary! I can see why you feel that way.... But mind you not all filipino portray the good filipino character(as no one is perfect in this world) Dont get me wrong, maybe Jennifer's father is one of those irresponsible filipino father....
I can vouch my father as one of those few good filipino father
Im sure your wife's father is a good man too...Marlyn & Kenny forever
-
15th October 2009 #28
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Posts
- 1,726
- Rep Power
- 0
-
15th October 2009 #29
-
15th October 2009 #30
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Posts
- 1,726
- Rep Power
- 0
Thread Information
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 2 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 2 guests)
Similar Threads
-
Michael Adebolajo has been given a whole-life term and Michael Adebowale has been jailed for 45 year
By les_taxi in forum News UKReplies: 6Last Post: 28th February 2014, 00:02 -
More on Jennifer and Michaels marrage problems
By mickcant in forum Courting, Relationships & WeddingsReplies: 132Last Post: 17th January 2010, 14:27