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  1. #1
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    Some advice on scammers

    With the resurgence of my (much) earlier thread "How could I have been so stupid?", I thought it wise to post a thread on scammers and how best to avoid them. Especially as recently I have noticed some newer members not currently in a relationship, still looking for that special someone.

    From everything I know there are scammers on both sides. Women from the Philippines who will try and scam a western man for whatever money she can get and the western man who is scamming a young Filipina into providing sexual services with the promise of a marriage and life in the west. Both (in my opinion) as detestable as each other for varying reasons!

    Firstly, I will look at the (western) male scammer as I think more members of this forum could potentially fall victim to one of these men. And men like this will not consider themselves scammers as they are not acquiring money or goods, they may even be providing money or goods to the Filipina they are in contact with. However, this is essentially a business transaction in their eyes and love is nothing more than a word used to manipulate the opposite sex. Such men can be very convincing and even display emotions making it difficult to tell them from other meaningful men.

    However, tell tale signs will always arise with these men. They may have a long history of vacations to the Philippines and have long standing Friendster accounts, they will also want to talk about sex very early in the relationship. As they are trying to figure out if the lady they are talking to is open to offers!

    But a cautionary note! Some honest, single men may also seem likely to fit this description. Therefore it is essential that these words are taken as a simple guide, not as a set of rules!

    The best advice I could ever give to any woman is to trust your instincts! The human brain takes in far more information than it is possible for you to explain through mere words. Our senses have evolved to a level where we can detect danger even when we can find no otherwise rational reason for this danger. Society has demanded a certain level of politeness and so we dismiss our fears as irrational or worse, we ignore the warning signals that our brain has intercepted from all of the senses that we possess. And we walk straight into danger rather than act 'rude' or offend somebody by avoiding them.

    So if you meet your new boyfriend soon after the relationship starts, and you don't like the look of him or something just 'doesn't feel right'! Trust your senses and let him be to enjoy his holiday alone! You might feel rude and many people might criticize you. But always trust your instincts. Your safety is far more important than the social construct we call politeness!

    There is another type of male scammer and that is of a man pretending to be a woman for the purpose of befriending western men for the purpose of acquiring money. I would hope it was obvious that such a person was easy to spot. However, there are many 'lady boys' in Asia who could easily pass as a woman here in the UK. Often looking so feminine that a straight man would find it difficult to tell that he was dealing with another man, literally until the got (ahem) down to business. These scammers use similar tactics to female scammers (see below). However, I do know of some Asian lady boys who are not scammers but are looking to meet a western man to marry (as it is legal here in the UK) for a better life altogether, though such people are honest and quick to mention that they are transgendered.

    Female scammers a more prominent and discussed more on this forum and elsewhere in society. And I would break female scammers down into two categories. A: The seasoned and professional scammer. and B: The accidental Scammer.

    A: The Professional Scammer.

    These women will have a boyfriend in the Philippines and possibly a husband, whilst at the same time dating western men for the financial purposes. They will typically be very beautiful and often well versed in English (even western humour) and be able to talk with the western man with ease. She may also be a little shy or coy at times, all as part of the act to sway the gentleman to thinking she is genuine. There are some ways to spot these women but there is no definite set of rules. One obvious thing is that these women require money, and so the conversation will gear towards money or how she is very poor and needs help, medical or otherwise. She may also profess love very quickly or make it clear she wishes a sexual relationship before marriage. Again, there are no rules and instincts should always be relied upon, as a genuine woman could easily make a western man think she is a scammer.

    B: The Accidental Scammer.

    These are women who set out to have a relationship but found that their new 'rich' boyfriend was so easy to manipulate, that it was far easier than getting a job to get money. And they will often learn that we in the west can often provide more than the usual low paid work offered in the Philippines. But they will also become accustomed to a lifestyle provided by their 'rich' benefactor and might make the mistake of getting another boyfriend, making mistakes as they are not accustomed to keeping more than one man on the go.

    It has also been noted on the Internet that there are girls as young as 15 who have learned from family or friends that a western man is an easy source of income, and so for a few young ladies it might even appear as a career choice. However, these women are truly few and far between when it comes to Filipinas so it should be considered unlikely that you will come across one of these. But if you do, trust your instincts above all else.

    My advice to western men embarking on the Internet to seek out their special someone is to (again) trust your instincts! Get a Friendster account and seek out this new lady and see if she has an account, see if she is in a relationship already (you will be surprised how many scammers get caught out by having Friendster profiles with pictures of themselves and their boyfriends), make sure she is not too shy to appear on the webcam to make sure she is indeed a 'she', and make sure she shows you her body (with clothes on you pervs - but to also make sure she is not pregnant, as I found out to my cost).

    Also note, as documented here countless times. The Philippines is a poor country with wages on a scale you wouldn't pay a 10 year old to wash your car with in the UK. Many Filipinas will be shy to ask for money but could actually do with the help. These are the genuine ladies out there! Most men in a serious relationship will help their loved ones once they have decided that this girl is the one, or at least somebody they think could be the one. So if a Filipina lets you know after some embarrassment that she does not come from a rich family or that they was their clothes by hand. Take it as an honest divulgment and don't react with hostility to it.

    But please, please... Do not assume she is a scammer, scammers are in the vast minority of Filipinas and are simply a pitfall to be avoided on the road to happiness. Be safe, be careful, but above all else; be considerate!

    Sean



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    Good post Sean, well written mate Lots of good advice. A lot of people may have shied away having being scammed already, but you got straight back on the and fair play for sharing your story so others can learn of the potential pitfalls.

    You'll be loving it there next month


  3. #3
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    I had an idea on the advice about love:

    When you are in you prospective partner to be house, have a look at their bathroom. Is this person clean. Is the towel smelly(bahot) and is the toothpaste top never to be found? Is the soap under a pile of soap scum. The toothbrush over 1 year old. If the answers to your question are yucky, then stop. Think. This is this person bad habits. Can you live with this every day. People do not change their habits immediately, you are supposed to accept them as they are. Remember, your mom/dad fighting about simple bad habits like not cleaning the bath after using it. Wow. Then you look in the mirror and think my god I'm turning into my dad.

    Remember. When the sex has gone, the giggling, and the happiness and the over the moon feelings-you are left with one another's creature habits.Can you overcome the habits that you dislike about her? That is the thing that niggles away at both partners love. Stop biting your nails! Stop buying more more clothes at the shop! You have 50 dresses already!

    But when you are well adjusted and mature and overcome these. You really really love her, take all her likes/dislikes and smash them together with your likes/dislikes it is a lovely chemistry that is created. Have your own code words for one another. Both of you have the story of how you first met. Also speak your own love language only make sense to you.
    Good luck to all of you.
    It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.


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    Quote Originally Posted by triple5 View Post
    Good post Sean, well written mate Lots of good advice. A lot of people may have shied away having being scammed already, but you got straight back on the and fair play for sharing your story so others can learn of the potential pitfalls.

    You'll be loving it there next month
    Thanks Indeed, I did move on pretty quickly. Thankfully, my previous relationship was doomed long before it was obvious (I went weeks without contact at a time and was probably going to end that relationship - her new baby just gave me the final push I was hesitant with). So, in all honesty I was over her almost before we split.. But yes, I was a little suspicious of Filipinas and it took me a while to get past that with Rizza.

    But thankfully, she was too good for me to keep my shield up for too long



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    Quote Originally Posted by Northerner View Post
    With the resurgence of my (much) earlier thread.....
    Your experience has made you wiser but just to add a bit we happened to be in filipino forum that is why the focus is FILIPINA, but in reality we get scammers from all over the world so I would say Filipina or not be wise, and be sensible. For those (previously married) Western guys who were not ripped off by their ex's raise your hand,
    If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .


  6. #6
    Respected Member pumpkins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaishann View Post
    Your experience has made you wiser but just to add a bit we happened to be in filipino forum that is why the focus is FILIPINA, but in reality we get scammers from all over the world so I would say Filipina or not be wise, and be sensible. For those (previously married) Western guys who were not ripped off by their ex's raise your hand,
    no one will raise their hand
    CRITICIZING OTHERS IS A DANGEROUS THING, NOT SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU MAY MAKE MISTAKES ABOUT THEM, BUT BECAUSE YOU MAY BE REVEALING THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF.


    pumpkins babykins


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    Quote Originally Posted by pumpkins View Post
    no one will raise their hand
    thanks pumpkin, all im saying is sometimes we cannot blame people for feeling bad about experience with filipina but the fact that they are in a relationship or married to a filipina sometimes we need to be sensitive as we dont know it might in some ways could hurt her feeling. It is not just filipina but most Asian women who are with a western guy is stereotyped. It hurts but that is reality. I was walking with my husband in town a young loud shouted hi ya mate how much you spent to get that bird? I turn round and said 5 grand mate and he is in Dole so he cant afford it.
    If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .


  8. #8
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaishann View Post
    thanks pumpkin, all im saying is sometimes we cannot blame people for feeling bad about experience with filipina but the fact that they are in a relationship or married to a filipina sometimes we need to be sensitive as we dont know it might in some ways could hurt her feeling. It is not just filipina but most Asian women who are with a western guy is stereotyped. It hurts but that is reality. I was walking with my husband in town a young loud shouted hi ya mate how much you spent to get that bird? I turn round and said 5 grand mate and he is in Dole so he cant afford it.
    Your husband should have said "If she were for sale I couldnt afford her as she is priceless" Its not just Pinay scammers,anyone watch the program "Mail order bride" earlier this week?About a Russian "Introduction-agency" who are also going to open a branch in Pinas?



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Your husband should have said "If she were for sale I couldnt afford her as she is priceless" Its not just Pinay scammers,anyone watch the program "Mail order bride" earlier this week?About a Russian "Introduction-agency" who are also going to open a branch in Pinas?
    he's gone speechless just wanted to smashed their faces. You are right it is not just Pinay, they're all over the place..(scammers)...Thanks
    If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by pumpkins View Post
    no one will raise their hand
    Thank you dear, all the best
    If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .


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    i think everyone wants to beleive their not being scammed even if they are.i just put advert on jade rose pen-pals 6months later i was asking advice on here for trip to phils. my girl has always asked for money but admitted its because her friend had a foreign all the requests for money were genuine. her sis & friends want me to find foreign for them also.it may not be a politically correct think to say but would any filipina want a foreign if it wasnt for money a better life,course they wouldnt.


  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuft249 View Post
    i think everyone wants to beleive their not being scammed even if they are.i just put advert on jade rose pen-pals 6months later i was asking advice on here for trip to phils. my girl has always asked for money but admitted its because her friend had a foreign all the requests for money were genuine. her sis & friends want me to find foreign for them also.it may not be a politically correct think to say but would any filipina want a foreign if it wasnt for money a better life,course they wouldnt.
    There are ladies on here who are supporting their UK husbands in financial terms, so that theory just does not work in my view.

    For those girls where it's the other way round, if you lived in poverty all your life, worked as a street vendor morning and night to pay yourself through school, then maybe you might be looking for a nice husband, a Prince Charming to come and rescue you and make things easier.

    You could get lucky and find a good Filipino husband who would go out and work hard for 300 peso a day and you could try to dig yourself out of the poverty you've spent your entire life in.

    But a lot of these girls have grown up having had to go out scavenging to earn a pittance while watching her mother slave away year after year trying to support the family, while father has been in and out of work time and time again.

    I don't believe they wan't a foreign husband at all costs, like everyone else they want to marry for love, for mutual respect, for mutual support and for mutual security, trying to find a foreign husband is pragmatism but they are still trying to find the "nice" guy not just the first "rich" one that comes along.

    Plus there are plenty of women in the UK who would marry for money and a better life at the drop of a hat and probably with a lot more cynicism, there will be girls in the Phils that are doing the same but at least they have a fundamental justification for it.


    Jim


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    they couldnt support there husbands if they werent in the uk could they ? its just how it seems to me.


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    Quote Originally Posted by tuft249 View Post
    they couldnt support there husbands if they werent in the uk could they ? its just how it seems to me.
    There is at least one lady here who made it clear that her UK husband was poor and the she had supported him in Manila.

    Don't assume that we British are always on the weathly side of the relationship.


    Jim


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    Respected Member pumpkins's Avatar
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by JimOttley View Post
    There is at least one lady here who made it clear that her UK husband was poor and the she had supported him in Manila.

    Don't assume that we British are always on the weathly side of the relationship.


    Jim
    i am agree with you...
    CRITICIZING OTHERS IS A DANGEROUS THING, NOT SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU MAY MAKE MISTAKES ABOUT THEM, BUT BECAUSE YOU MAY BE REVEALING THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF.


    pumpkins babykins


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    Quote Originally Posted by JimOttley View Post
    There is at least one lady here who made it clear that her UK husband was poor and the she had supported him in Manila.

    Don't assume that we British are always on the weathly side of the relationship.


    Jim
    thats what husband and wife should be , to support each other (not just the financial side). My husband is not poor but we are - as we become one soon as we get married and there are times that I earn more than him which goes in one pot so it doesnt really matter.
    If it's not life threatening IGNORE it .. .


  17. #17
    Respected Member sparky's Avatar
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    in all walks of life there are good and bad.

    i know guys who have married bar girls and cam girls who have proved to be excellent partners- faithful and loving not wanting a penny over and above the norm
    (yes i know its not PC but these girls are just doing a job the same as the rest of us)

    and i have known "good" girls who took their fellas for all they could get- and more

    personally i would never financially support anyone who i had never met- and even then in the past thats come back to bite me


  18. #18
    Respected Member whiteraven's Avatar
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    just goes to show you cant judge people by their social standing alone.


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northerner View Post
    With the resurgence of my (much) earlier thread "How could I have been so stupid?", I thought it wise to post a thread on scammers and how best to avoid them. Especially as recently I have noticed some newer members not currently in a relationship, still looking for that special someone.

    From everything I know there are scammers on both sides. Women from the Philippines who will try and scam a western man for whatever money she can get and the western man who is scamming a young Filipina into providing sexual services with the promise of a marriage and life in the west. Both (in my opinion) as detestable as each other for varying reasons!

    Firstly, I will look at the (western) male scammer as I think more members of this forum could potentially fall victim to one of these men. And men like this will not consider themselves scammers as they are not acquiring money or goods, they may even be providing money or goods to the Filipina they are in contact with. However, this is essentially a business transaction in their eyes and love is nothing more than a word used to manipulate the opposite sex. Such men can be very convincing and even display emotions making it difficult to tell them from other meaningful men.

    However, tell tale signs will always arise with these men. They may have a long history of vacations to the Philippines and have long standing Friendster accounts, they will also want to talk about sex very early in the relationship. As they are trying to figure out if the lady they are talking to is open to offers!

    But a cautionary note! Some honest, single men may also seem likely to fit this description. Therefore it is essential that these words are taken as a simple guide, not as a set of rules!

    The best advice I could ever give to any woman is to trust your instincts! The human brain takes in far more information than it is possible for you to explain through mere words. Our senses have evolved to a level where we can detect danger even when we can find no otherwise rational reason for this danger. Society has demanded a certain level of politeness and so we dismiss our fears as irrational or worse, we ignore the warning signals that our brain has intercepted from all of the senses that we possess. And we walk straight into danger rather than act 'rude' or offend somebody by avoiding them.

    So if you meet your new boyfriend soon after the relationship starts, and you don't like the look of him or something just 'doesn't feel right'! Trust your senses and let him be to enjoy his holiday alone! You might feel rude and many people might criticize you. But always trust your instincts. Your safety is far more important than the social construct we call politeness!

    There is another type of male scammer and that is of a man pretending to be a woman for the purpose of befriending western men for the purpose of acquiring money. I would hope it was obvious that such a person was easy to spot. However, there are many 'lady boys' in Asia who could easily pass as a woman here in the UK. Often looking so feminine that a straight man would find it difficult to tell that he was dealing with another man, literally until the got (ahem) down to business. These scammers use similar tactics to female scammers (see below). However, I do know of some Asian lady boys who are not scammers but are looking to meet a western man to marry (as it is legal here in the UK) for a better life altogether, though such people are honest and quick to mention that they are transgendered.

    Female scammers a more prominent and discussed more on this forum and elsewhere in society. And I would break female scammers down into two categories. A: The seasoned and professional scammer. and B: The accidental Scammer.

    A: The Professional Scammer.

    These women will have a boyfriend in the Philippines and possibly a husband, whilst at the same time dating western men for the financial purposes. They will typically be very beautiful and often well versed in English (even western humour) and be able to talk with the western man with ease. She may also be a little shy or coy at times, all as part of the act to sway the gentleman to thinking she is genuine. There are some ways to spot these women but there is no definite set of rules. One obvious thing is that these women require money, and so the conversation will gear towards money or how she is very poor and needs help, medical or otherwise. She may also profess love very quickly or make it clear she wishes a sexual relationship before marriage. Again, there are no rules and instincts should always be relied upon, as a genuine woman could easily make a western man think she is a scammer.

    B: The Accidental Scammer.

    These are women who set out to have a relationship but found that their new 'rich' boyfriend was so easy to manipulate, that it was far easier than getting a job to get money. And they will often learn that we in the west can often provide more than the usual low paid work offered in the Philippines. But they will also become accustomed to a lifestyle provided by their 'rich' benefactor and might make the mistake of getting another boyfriend, making mistakes as they are not accustomed to keeping more than one man on the go.

    It has also been noted on the Internet that there are girls as young as 15 who have learned from family or friends that a western man is an easy source of income, and so for a few young ladies it might even appear as a career choice. However, these women are truly few and far between when it comes to Filipinas so it should be considered unlikely that you will come across one of these. But if you do, trust your instincts above all else.

    My advice to western men embarking on the Internet to seek out their special someone is to (again) trust your instincts! Get a Friendster account and seek out this new lady and see if she has an account, see if she is in a relationship already (you will be surprised how many scammers get caught out by having Friendster profiles with pictures of themselves and their boyfriends), make sure she is not too shy to appear on the webcam to make sure she is indeed a 'she', and make sure she shows you her body (with clothes on you pervs - but to also make sure she is not pregnant, as I found out to my cost).

    Also note, as documented here countless times. The Philippines is a poor country with wages on a scale you wouldn't pay a 10 year old to wash your car with in the UK. Many Filipinas will be shy to ask for money but could actually do with the help. These are the genuine ladies out there! Most men in a serious relationship will help their loved ones once they have decided that this girl is the one, or at least somebody they think could be the one. So if a Filipina lets you know after some embarrassment that she does not come from a rich family or that they was their clothes by hand. Take it as an honest divulgment and don't react with hostility to it.

    But please, please... Do not assume she is a scammer, scammers are in the vast minority of Filipinas and are simply a pitfall to be avoided on the road to happiness. Be safe, be careful, but above all else; be considerate!

    Sean

    thanks for this post.you've exerted a lot of effort for these things...i've learned a lot from it..i think riza is quite lucky to have a kind hearted man like you..good luck for the both of you(",)..god bless!


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    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northerner View Post
    ...
    Yep very true!!! Well said Sean

    Quote Originally Posted by gary2jessica View Post
    .
    You too Gary

    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    program "Mail order bride" earlier this week?About a Russian "Introduction-agency" who are also going to open a branch in Pinas?
    Nooo????!!!! I hope that isn't true.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post

    And that's absurd!!

    This is all I can say: Don't make her your "charity" if you don't want to be scammed.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post

    This is all I can say: Don't make her your "charity" if you don't want to be scammed.
    Very nice piece of advice


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    This is all I can say: Don't make her your "charity" if you don't want to be scammed.
    Quote Originally Posted by James Hubbard View Post
    Very nice piece of advice

    Thank you James or just simply don't give money at all!


  24. #24
    Respected Member D&G's Avatar
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    Great post, Sean

    i agree with your observations about "scammers" (particularly on western men scammers )

    u raise some good points but I think human motivations tend to be fairly complex in general...
    "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."~ Unknown


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    I would like to see the basket of freshly peeled onions on her knees.....


  26. #26
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pacificelectric View Post
    I would like to see the basket of freshly peeled onions on her knees.....
    She certainly looks sadBut cheers up when she starts dancing Sumayaw

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzGOb...eature=related



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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  4. Interesting read on scammers.........
    By Tawi2 in forum Help & Advice
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 30th November 2009, 10:44
  5. Scammers, being scammed??
    By Colin in forum Courting, Relationships & Weddings
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 8th March 2009, 19:29

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