Long Way to Go For a Date - a Discussion

[ginapeterb]

The High's and lows of going 6000 miles for a date and crossing cultural boundaries - expectations, and what thought eventually did !

I was sorry to hear a recent post by Socool007 who has told us, he has sent his wife back to the Philippines, because she has showed him lack of attention, love, and probably although he has refrained from mentioning it, I would imagine also, refusal to have sex, or seeking to avoid sexual relations.

I often wonder what expectations some guys have about the process of choosing a wife from the Philippines, the title of this discussion is "Long way to go for a date" there has been a book written about a guy from U.S.A. who travels to Phils to meet a girl from a village in the backwoods of somewhere, probably Mindanao, but not sure where it was, but the story, is about the trials and tribulations of entering into such a adventure.

I think some of our forum members should take note, that really and truly, this quest you are on is in fact an adventure, and it takes you down roads, and treading paths, you are less than well equipped to travel.

Lets be truthful about this, we must be absolutely crazy to get on a modern wide bodied jet and travel across the other side of the world to go blind in many cases, to meet a member of the opposite sex, and expect everything to fall into place and be utopia.

If like me, you are still on this road, you are still on this great British-Filipino adventure trail, I am learning more and more each day, its only 5 years, and I still have to have cross words with my girl about our cultural differences, and its not just the stinky fish cooking, its a number of daily irritations, from everything starting at eating rice with her hands at the table, right through to loud and annoying skype conversations at midnight when I am trying to catch upon the soccer highlights.

The list is endless, and lets be truthful, this is a relationship that actually did make it, and we still have our ups and downs, arguments, cross words, silent periods, I wouldnt be the first guy to say, he has thrown in the towel, and shot off down the road to the pub, just to get some peace and quiet.

Some guys think that going out to Phils for one visit will be enough, and very often they propose marriage, have their new fiancee on their arm, and within 3 months, they are back in UK attempting to live together, by getting married and then hoping and praying that everything will be the same as it was when they were in the holiday mood, that first exciting time, when they shot through NAIA like an olympic pole vaulter as they catapulted outside to this bright eyed, dark haired eye lash flashing young Mistress, half their age, who says, gwapo mo, cute mo, everytime you look in her direction.

Being called Gwapo is ok, if you accept that everyone who is a foreigner just happens to be named Gwapo too, its only when you are married for about 6 months that the name Gwapo changes to Bobo, and after about 2 years of marriage, your name changes to Iho de puta.

Don't be upset when you find out what Iho de Puta means, you won't be the first to have this pet name, and no doubt you won't be the last, but why is it, that some Filipina's come to UK and settle in, and the relationship is generally successful.

Why on the reverse coin, is it that we hear these stories about Filipina's who on holiday in their own country, are very loving, constantly aresonant voice to the sound of "Baby I cannot wait to be with you in UK" and then when the reality sets in, you are heard to be saying on your cellphone "Its not true, I didn't kill my wife"

We all need to wise up, and take a reality check, the simple fact is, Internet chatting, i.e. Yahoo, Filipinaheart.com Asianeuro.com, freindster, facebook, and all these other now modern social mediums for meeting online so called friends, are no substitute for age old tried and tested methods of meeting a future wife.

When will we not realize that what we contemplate on doing is nothing more than:

[B]A Long distance blind date[B]


And to go on a blind date, which by the way in UK I have never done, or a speed date, this new phenomenon, whereas, you show up at a cafe or restaraunt, and get 10 minutes to chat to as many members of the opposite sex as you can and then decide to choose one you would like to spend more time getting to know...is not much different to what many of us did in meeting a lady from Philippines, in fact I would go so far as to say, we are all playing an amazing game of chance.

Western-Filipino Relationships are all about needs and expectations.


I often make the above statement, because its my experience having studied the situation up close, that all relationships whether they be British-British, or English-English, or British-Filipino, or British-Thai, or any other combination, are all about the needs of the participating parties, the age old need of man, is to have woman to co-habit with, forget any notions men have of requiring woman for sexual needs, whilst sex is a factor, companionship of the opposite sex is a far more compelling reason to co-habit, on the reverse, female needs are slightly different, in that they require to be secure in a relationships, hence the term, men value sex, women value relationships, that is why women prefer the security of a marriage commitment, men prefer less the marriage commitment, but prefer the commitment of regular sex.

Some say that men go to the Philippines to meet women for the prime desire of sexual activity, I allude to this at my website http://www.british-filipino.com/survival.html very often they sensationalize their sexual antics, by telling stories about their nights of fun in the P Burgos area of Manila, where they had so many girls at their room in the Makati Palace, those types will always sensationalize, but their quest is a fruitless one, since the evidence shows that men really have one reason for going 6000 miles to seek the attentions of beautiful young girls, it is only because they seek to find compatible companionship rather than regular sex.

Sex is always the gimmick that gets ones interested, companionship is however the overriding reason for their travels, after all, if sex is all they wanted, they could find that back in the UK much cheaper, and with much less hassle, and they wouldnt have to get a visa for the girl to come to their place, and when the short time encounter is over, the girl leaves, and the man works out, that its much cheaper to do this 2 or 3 times a week.

I hope I have established her, that the overriding reason why any of us, would travel 6000 miles to the South Eastern Asian area, is to find a nice girl that we like, and would like to be our best friend in the world, a nice girl...very well spoken, loving and trustworthy, someone who we can lavish with our attentions, give gifts to, and to treat as our princess.

If thats not the reason you went to Philippines to find a woman to love, then your intentions are less sincere, and any relationship you attempt to build will fail within weeks.

Remembering what I said earlier, its all about expectations and personal needs, not just yours, but the ladies needs as well, and often, where western men fall on their face with horror, when they find out, that actually, they know nothing about this lady, they proposed to after 6 months of chatting on internet, is because they failed to find out what her needs and expectations are.

Some Filipina's by nature have simple needs, some Filipina's are home loving girls with ambitions that are fairly modest, however, I have witnessed this myself, that some Filipina's have incredibly high ambitions, of large properties, handsome allowances, generous gifts, top range cars, jewellry, top end cellphones, lots, houses, not having to do manual labour, maids, and drivers, and living a general life of luxury, some of them have so high ambitions, that they can outrightly reach further into the cosmos than you ever dreamed off.

Don't be put off by this, this is one of expectations and needs, in the Philippines, especially in the Manila area, and to a lesser extent Cebu and Davao City, there are some extremely rich Filipino families, some have businesses that make millions of pesos, its unlikely that you will be chatting to a girl who is from a super rich family, if you are...then you are so lucky, stick to her like glue.

If you are not, and I suspect most of us, are not chatting to super rich Filipina's then you have to accept, that some of them have high expectations of what they will get out of being in a relationship with you.

After all, its a 2 way trade off, remember, there are millions of Filipina's who have no desire whatsoever to come to a foreign country, on the reverse side of the coin, there are millions who seek to leave the Philippines either to work as OFW's or as we are discussing here, by marriage to a foreigner, and that is where we are at present.

The hidden agenda built inside every Filipina beauty who wants to get to foreigner land.

The above statement may sound a little harsh, but its not meant to be, because their are positive agenda's and negative agenda's, but agenda's do exist, and if you are unlucky enough to be the one on the receiving end of a Filipina with a negative agenda that by and large does not hold your best interests at heart, your relationship is doomed to failure more or less weeks after she arrives in the United Kingdom, unless your status in life, and what you can provide for her, meets the framework of her agenda.

If it does, then you will probably keep her loyalty, but perhaps not her love, she may stay with you, but only as long as you can keep providing what she has on her agenda tick box section.

Then there are those Filipina's who have what I call positive agenda's and these agenda's do include your best interests, I have known situations where some Filipina's will defend your interests to the end of the earth and beyond, they will stay faithful to and past your death, and take care of you as a King, most of you seem to fall into this category so in many ways, you are lucky and fortunate to have found a real gem, and congratulations if you have such a wife, you have it made.

Some Filipina's come because they know they can have a better chance of a good life with you in the western world, but they also understand, money does not grow on tree's they would if they could also get a job, just enough maybe to help their family, and this will please them, they also would want to have children with you, and have a happy love story, if they can have that, they will be happy.

Some come to the UK with the negative agenda, and this agenda was already decided on in many cases, long before this lady ever noticed your profile or saw you on a chat site, you just happened I am afraid to say, be the latest sucker to come along and get caught out in a trap of what I called unexpected consequences.


Breaking the Laws of unexpected consequences.

There is a well known statement that Lawyers often make they say this "Never ask a question unless you know the answer"

Relating that statement to relationships with women from other cultures can be seen this way.

Don't build your house upon the sand, build the house upon the rock which has a firm foundation, then when the house is bashed by the tornado, the house will be still standing.

If your relationship is built on shaky foundations, i.e. you did not take the required time and effort to discover your intended love of life's personal agenda, then its bound to go pear shaped, when it has to stand the rigors of what I call the real world.

A British man who travels 6000 miles to the Philippines for 3 weeks, or less is not in the real world, he is in the 3rd world, that is the Filipino world, and much more important, their world, that is the Filipina's world, as in any relationship, unless you have taken time to explore, the needs of your intended Fiancee, or wife, and taken time to build your relationship on a firm foundation, based on love, mutual respect, trust and honesty, even with these fine goals, the relationship will still have to be worked at daily to make it a long standing success.

But if you do not adhere to the above principles of fact finding, and getting to know your intended you will break the law of unexpected consequences of your actions, what's the old phrase my Grandma used to say to me "Make your bed in it, lie in it" or she also said to me "Marry in haste - repent at leisure"

As in Socool007's case, there have been many documented and similar stories across various forums dating back at least the 5 years I have been blogging about relationships in the Philippines, and I have met at least 2 British guys on my trips to Manila, who have told me they came to see the wife off, who did not settle in UK, and it went pear shaped.

As I am trying to put over here, breaking the laws of unexpected consequences, are often the cause of many relationship failures which happen in a very short time, going 6000 miles to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, from a completely different cultural outlook, with a different set of agenda's to yours, speaks 2 or 3 different languages, and then you expect it to be a marriage made in heaven, there are bound to be a percentage of failures, by virtue of the colossal mountains that have to be overcome.


I will finish this section of the thread by simply saying this:


Meeting a Filipina who you hope is going to be your lifelong partner, does not end the day you get a visa for the UK - no I am afraid to say, thats just the end of the beginning, but the real life starts later, and its a lifelong adventure..!!

[Northerner]

[B]
Meeting a Filipina who you hope is going to be your lifelong partner, does not end the day you get a visa for the UK - no I am afraid to say, thats just the end of the beginning, but the real life starts later, and its a lifelong adventure..!!

Bravo!

[Tawi2]

I always found the Philippines attracts a wide social mix of western guys,I twice met Howard Marks who told me oddball stories of his time in Manila as a guest of brothel owning Lord Moynihan(Howard himself owned Panache an upper class brothel in Bangkok) Theres a weird English guy who must live locally in manila who turns up in LA cafe some mornings for his breakfast always wearing a union jack T-shirt I used to know an Old english guy in his late 50's,east-end character,I think he had led a colourful life,he started chatting to a pinay in Mindanao in the early days of the internet,she said if he came over she would cook him breakfast,without warning he booked a flight to manila,flew down to Mindanao,took a bus ride and turned up in a boonie villageWhere he found his chatmate was living with her boyfriend so he ended up marrying her younger sister He brought her to Hong Kong,got a divorce and was last heard of living with a sri lankan lady My mate Tony,ex para married a pinay,found she was cheating on him,now lives in Bangkok and working as an Impex agent I often find some of the guys are bigger characters,and certainly larger than life types than their women

[Sim11UK]

It often makes me wince, when I read posts about having met once, or not even at all & talking about fiance or spouse visas.....No dis-respect, or offence is meant by this comment, but a reality check is needed.

It's so important, that you want the same things.

[aromulus]

Great post.

I learnt a lot from it.

Thanks Peter.

[Tawi2]

It often makes me wince, when I read posts about having met once, or not even at all & talking about fiance or spouse visas.....No dis-respect, or offence is meant by this comment, but a reality check is needed.

It's so important, that you want the same things.

Never buy a car without a lengthy test drive or as the pinoys say.............."Try before you buy" Thats why I said the guys are often characters,I could name loads of stereotypes because I truly have met allsorts Theres an English guy living over there,owns a bar,he is in his 60's got a mid-40's wife and a couple of kids,he has moved his 19 year old kabit into the marital home He told me his wife looks after him like a king but isnt so active in the bedroom,his girlfriend is like a whore in bed but lazy in the house,and he was actually looking for a third woman who combined the desirable attributes of both to add to his harem Only in pinas

[Tawi2]

I think Andrew Davies was a perfect student of human behaviour and must have spent many voyeuristic hours at the arrivals and departure lounges of NAIA How else could he have so masterfully encapsulated the characters of Lionel,Carwyn Phillips,Preston Scott,Tim Shanks and Gareth,the main male characters in "Philippine Dreamgirls"the guys themselves are some of the milder stereotypes your liable to run into if you visit PI enough times and wander around people-watching,also the female cast members portrayed ladies we have all met at one point or another on our travels

[Sim11UK]

I watched filipina dream girls a couple of months ago, I didn't think I'd seen it before, but as it unfolded I remembered it.....particularly the big welsh chap & the tiny maid....oh yes & "big" Preston.

Yes, I think we've all seen them.....or are them.

[Northerner]

With the obvious out of the way. No offence taken I sometimes think that what Rizza and I are doing is crazy, but I've spent enough of my life playing safe to feel it is time to just go for it..

I can count three friends who got married in a very short space of time, one being in his forties and having teenage children, successful I would think. Another being 8 years into the marriage with a baby due any moment now, another success. And one of my best friends who met his wife (a friend of mine through another group of friends) after she shouted me from outside a bar one night whilst I was out with him, they've been married a few years now. But so far, so good. And on the other hand I have seen so many relationships break down after years of living together, then marriage and then the rot sets in.

I do not think a successful relationship depends on how long you have known each other, but rather a commitment to the relationship and to work through any difficulties.

Will I be proven right? Time will tell! But I refuse to worry about the possibilities of what might happen in the future and I think I am wise enough to make a marriage work. I know there will be many problems between myself and Rizza, and we will have our ups and downs. And it will take a huge effort on both our parts to get this thing to work and to live a happy life together, one of mutual trust and understanding.

There are no set rules about marriage or relationships. But I think one rule is that both people must enter into the arrangement freely and with the determination to make it a success. To work through all dificulties and learn when to let the other "do their thing" and to keep a level of independence so that their life after marriage only improves, and strengthens. With the knowledge that they always have a friend who wants to spend time with them and talk to them, no matter what.

[Tawi2]

I watched filipina dream girls a couple of months ago, I didn't think I'd seen it before, but as it unfolded I remembered it.....particularly the big welsh chap & the tiny maid....oh yes & "big" Preston.

Yes, I think we've all seen them.

Sim,I am sure we have seen them all AND more(but I can say hand on heart I never met a lady online,so I aint one of them),theres a guy I met three or four years ago flying into Mactan,I got on really well with him on the flight(I gave him my bread-roll),his new wife met us at the airport,nice lady called "Irish" he was around 30?She was early 20's?I stayed in the same hotel as them,that night he went out to watch a "Football match" she was sitting in the foyer when I came back in the early hours Next morning I came down for breakfast she was a wreck,tear stained puffy eyes,she had been crying for a while out of her mind with worry,coppers brought him back around 11am?He had been locked up all night after getting p*ssed as a palatic newt in a girly bar and having a fight with a few guys outside,he hadnt even been there 24 hours The sad thing is he never took his wife back to UK,I got a TXT from her last year asking was I still in contact with him as he had totally cut her off,some odd-balls travel over there,he was ok on a guy-to-guy basis,good conversationalist,but something happening behind his eyes at all times

[Sim11UK]

With the obvious out of the way. No offence taken I sometimes think that what Rizza and I are doing is crazy, but I've spent enough of my life playing safe to feel it is time to just go for it..

Hey Northerener I wasn't having a go at you...seriously
& I know you think I'm Mr. cautious.
This thread, is a result of the unfortunate situation Socool has found himself in.

We're all crazy, because we've all got on that plane.....I've always said to myself, this is crazy...still say it now sometimes, but I'm still here.
There are no guarantees in life, so yes you do have to grab them when they come along, but you still do have to becareful....Just make sure you grab the right one.
I sincerely hope, you'll be on this forum for many years to come, handing out your own advice.

[Matt7]

I like this thread. Some people see trying to find a girlfriend in the Philippines as the same process as picking out a new car. I despise those people, as they're the same people who would send a girl back to the Philippines for farting in bed. They see the girl as more of a possession as opposed to an equal, and those people are disgraceful humans, who just make it more difficult for people like me and Denise to get visas. I apologise if this post puts some peoples noses out of joint, but I'm a frank person, and if this post rings true to you, I more than likely wouldn't give you the time of day anyway.

[Tawi2]

Hey Northerener I wasn't having a go at you...seriously
& I know you think I'm Mr. cautious.
This thread, is a result of the unfortunate situation Socool has found himself in.

We're all crazy, because we've all got on that plane.....I've always said to myself, this is crazy...still say it now sometimes, but I'm still here.
There are no guarantees in life, so yes you do have to grab them when they come along, but you still do have to becareful....Just make sure you grab the right one.
I sincerely hope, you'll be on this forum for many years to come, handing out your own advice.

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread,I hope that was the royal "We" when you said "We're all crazy" because it didnt encompass me I was there long before this internet dating stampede,and for totally different reasons,besides,I have known my lady for five years,we arent even at the engagement stage,we are both cool with that,and she is a little different from the average lady

[Tawi2]

I will tell you what genuinely puzzles me,what makes guys with no connection whatsoever with a country,99.99% havent even been there get online and search for dating agencies specialising in a particular ethnicity be it Thai,Pinay,Indo or whatever Now thats a genuine conundrum If I was single and had always lived in the UK what would drag me away from the TV one evening and search for a woman on the other side of the planet with whom I had nothing in common whatsoever Answers on a postcard please to the usual address

[Matt7]

I will tell you what genuinely puzzles me,what makes guys with no connection whatsoever with a country,99.99% havent even been there get online and search for dating agencies specialising in a particular ethnicity be it Thai,Pinay,Indo or whatever Now thats a genuine conundrum If I was single and had always lived in the UK what would drag me away from the TV one evening and search for a woman on the other side of the planet with whom I had nothing in common whatsoever Answers on a postcard please to the usual address

Me either. I guess they see filipinas and thais as submissive, borderline sex slaves. Its the only thing I can think of. In a way I hope they get proven wrong....but its just such a waste of time, I almost feel sorry for them

[JimOttley]

Well said Peter, couldn't disagree with any of that!

[Northerner]

Hey Northerener I wasn't having a go at you...seriously
& I know you think I'm Mr. cautious.
This thread, is a result of the unfortunate situation Socool has found himself in.

We're all crazy, because we've all got on that plane.....I've always said to myself, this is crazy...still say it now sometimes, but I'm still here.
There are no guarantees in life, so yes you do have to grab them when they come along, but you still do have to becareful....Just make sure you grab the right one.
I sincerely hope, you'll be on this forum for many years to come, handing out your own advice.

Oh, I know you didn't mean to single me out. And yes I do see you as kind of the cautious one on here - which is a good thing I am sure I will be picking your brains for a long time to come..

And I do plan to be a part of this forum for a long time to come. To me, I see this as more than a simple advice forum. But a gateway to the UK Filipino community which I am about to join. And I do plan on dispensing my advice to the newbies in years to come. But I also asked Rizza to join as I think it would be good for her to get to know other Pinays who have made that journey and can support her through simple advice and chit chat.

I like this thread. Some people see trying to find a girlfriend in the Philippines as the same process as picking out a new car. I despise those people, as they're the same people who would send a girl back to the Philippines for farting in bed. They see the girl as more of a possession as opposed to an equal, and those people are disgraceful humans, who just make it more difficult for people like me and Denise to get visas. I apologise if this post puts some peoples noses out of joint, but I'm a frank person, and if this post rings true to you, I more than likely wouldn't give you the time of day anyway.

Matt, I hear you and couldn't agree more. But if your "farting in bed" reference was to another recent thread, I cannot comment, only to say I think the gentleman involved feels unloved and used in his circumstances. And so, without another side to his story, we should all take him at his word, as he does seem a reasonable guy. And getting back to my own relationship. I have no intention of being the dominant one out of a couple. I also do not want a submissive woman who does as I say and do, plus I think to is fair to say Rizza would likely be as assertive if not more so in our relationship, which is how I would like things to be.

I also expect many ups and downs, I expect to get a little grumpy at times, I expect Rizza to have her down days too. Especially in the early days! And she is far from a woman I chose like at a supermarket. When we first got talking, I was also talking to other girls and she too was talking to other guys. But the funy thing is this; I am the product of a long distant pen pal relationship! My parents both came from Ireland, my father worked in Manchester whilst my mother lived on the west coast of Ireland. They were pen pals and eventually married... History is repeating itself perhaps?

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread,I hope that was the royal "We" when you said "We're all crazy" because it didnt encompass me I was there long before this internet dating stampede,and for totally different reasons,besides,I have known my lady for five years,we arent even at the engagement stage,we are both cool with that,and she is a little different from the average lady

I had a sort of connection to the phils back in my JKD/Kali days. And I think it is fair to say I am often intrigued by Asian culture. I guess I opted for the Philippines in al honesty as it was a place I always wanted to visit but also for the fact that I find Asian/Latin women very attractive. But life has a funny way of turning out! A few years ago the woman I thought was perfect for me was a welsh woman who I really did not like, once I peeked below the surface.. We shall see

I will tell you what genuinely puzzles me,what makes guys with no connection whatsoever with a country,99.99% havent even been there get online and search for dating agencies specialising in a particular ethnicity be it Thai,Pinay,Indo or whatever Now thats a genuine conundrum If I was single and had always lived in the UK what would drag me away from the TV one evening and search for a woman on the other side of the planet with whom I had nothing in common whatsoever Answers on a postcard please to the usual address

When I first started out on one of these dating sites, it was really for a bit of a laugh. I did not expect much and was really just bored at first and looking to strike up a conversation. Well, things went pretty quickly. Now when I met Rizza, I had already decided to go to Asia again on a holiday. My plan was to meet a few girls, go on a few dates and if nothing else happened I would enjoy a few meals and some good company. A good holiday idea, but then I quickly lost interest in other woman on the internet and slowly removed them from my yahoo. Then I realized things were getting serious between us and I finally decided to go to Cebu and see how things worked out. Since then, our time on the internet and over the phone has exploded. We text many times a day. I call her a couple of times a week and we meet online on my days off work. And I decided to ask her engagement in a way that reminded me of my parents. Not exactly romantic, but necessary at the time. Time and distance are against us, so the usual rules do not apply!

[triple5]

This is a great thread! Loving Tawi2's tales and some great words of wisdom from the OP.

I've now been involved with 2 filipinas and both meetings were by chance, and can't fathom all this rushing in. It's usually born out of some kind of desperation, often on both sides I reckon. In some ways I wish they weren't on the other side of the world. It's a real ball ache having an LDR, missing somebody you want to be with, but I'd still rather take my time, see if we are going to have the same goals in life, same interests etc before committing long term. It takes longer than a holiday romance to really fathom somebody.

That said, I had a friend (haven't seen him for a few years) he was 53 and married a 19 yr old filipina after a few months chatting online. Apparently, last I heard, they're very happy.

I guess it's like Muhammad Ali said:
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.

[Matt7]

Matt, I hear you and couldn't agree more. But if your "farting in bed" reference was to another recent thread, I cannot comment, only to say I think the gentleman involved feels unloved and used in his circumstances. And so, without another side to his story, we should all take him at his word, as he does seem a reasonable guy. And getting back to my own relationship. I have no intention of being the dominant one out of a couple. I also do not want a submissive woman who does as I say and do, plus I think to is fair to say Rizza would likely be as assertive if not more so in our relationship, which is how I would like things to be.

I guess a few threads influenced my post, and I'm not gonna hide it, certain people on here irritate me beyond belief. I don't see myself "above" certain people, but me and Denise went about this all the right way, and I'm in no mood to be screwed over a visa because some guy with too much money and not enough patience decides the next toy he wants is a Filipina

[Tawi2]

Sad thing about my tales triple is I could fill a book with them and they are all true,no embellishments whatsoever,thats what makes them funny
N,wish I knew how to do that selective quote Cos you know me,I miss nowt,and could have asked you if this......."I also expect many ups and downs"........was a subliminal message or a freudian slip

[Northerner]

Sad thing about my tales triple is I could fill a book with them and they are all true,no embellishments whatsoever,thats what makes them funny
N,wish I knew how to do that selective quote Cos you know me,I miss nowt,and could have asked you if this......."I also expect many ups and downs"........was a subliminal message or a freudian slip

Selective quote is easy.. Just copy the text, including the quote codes, paste into notepad. Then press back on the browser and onto the next posting and repeat.. Then fill in the replies

Hmmm. When I was best man at my mates wedding, my speach ended with "and may all they're ups and downs be between the sheets"

[JimOttley]

Me either. I guess they see filipinas and thais as submissive, borderline sex slaves. Its the only thing I can think of. In a way I hope they get proven wrong....but its just such a waste of time, I almost feel sorry for them

Matt the guys that act like that and treat their girlfriends/partners/wives that way will almost always fail and as Peter says, quickly.

All the Filipina lassies I have ever personally met through work or socially are damn proud women and would refuse point blank to be treated like dirt, most are sweet kind loving lassies but quite a few are damned dangerous as well

Peter is right, there are expectations on both sides of a relationship and the people that don't try to figure out those expectations are going to be very disappointed.

My partners ambitions and needs are a constantly moving target, it takes me all my time just to keep up

I've never been on a dating site either, I only ever went to the Philippines to hire some programmers to work on a project for me

Right now I am watching the woman I love on cam on a laptop she borrowed from her neighbour, while she sleeps in a tiny dormitory in Itaewon in Korea, 2000 miles from home and our kids. She is there trying to get the divorce papers we need for us to be together and so that she can work to help me support our kids just now as we are going through some hard times here in the UK.

She has demonstrated a lot of commitment to me over the years and she deserves the same from me.

So many guys and lassies make terrible mistakes and don't really have realistic expectations, women with unrealistic expectations will be just as disappointed as men.

Again this is not really any different to meeting a girl anywhere in Britain or anywhere else for that matter.

Jim

[Northerner]

I guess a few threads influenced my post, and I'm not gonna hide it, certain people on here irritate me beyond belief. I don't see myself "above" certain people, but me and Denise went about this all the right way, and I'm in no mood to be screwed over a visa because some guy with too much money and not enough patience decides the next toy he wants is a Filipina

I don't think you will get screwed over a visa! Each case is judged on it's own merits and I am sure yours will prove that Good luck with those visas, anyway...

[Tawi2]

Matt,not everything in life is black and white,I actually met stephen(socool)on a flight 2 or 3 years ago,he was a decent guy,very personable,good sense of humour,he came across as a friendly,nice guy,I just think circumstances and personalities arent always conducive to happy-ever-after endings for some romances

[Northerner]

Can we all remember the reason why we are here in the first place!



Regardless of any debates, we all found this forum because of our common goals. To find love and to pursue it I have no idea where the future will take me, but I will still pursue the love I think is for me, because human nature knows no borders

[Tawi2]

I am here because I know a little about the country and culture,not because of the women

[Northerner]

I am here because I know a little about the country and culture,not because of the women

Ahh.... you're the odd one out And I thought you had a Filipina girlfriend for the last 5 years

[Tawi2]

Ahh.... you're the odd one out And I thought you had a Filipina girlfriend for the last 5 years

Does that mean I am looking for love(five years means I already found it)? Like I said,I am here because I have seen a bit of the country and understand a few things,thats all I am not here to eulogise on pinay women,just good to chat about places,people,culture and food,thats it for me.

[Northerner]

Does that mean I am looking for love(five years means I already found it)? Like I said,I am here because I have seen a bit of the country and understand a few things,thats all

Well, if your lookin for love Tawi, I already told you about old Doris Seriously, the fact you've been with the same woman for 5 years is brilliant And for all the others on here with a similar track record Brains I shall be picking. But then this forum is for the newbies like myself and those more used to the ways of the Pinay To exchange information and banter, and no doubt I will fare better than some just for the fact I get to learn of those cultural faux pas made by yourself and others...

And I am sure in many years to come I will be givng my info to the newbies

[Tawi2]

Is "faux pas" visayan