How to handle RACIST IN-LAWS

[britishdetained]

monkeys??? monkeys??? we are all monkeys!!! (Darwin's theory of evolution)... oh boy! I'm a pretty monkey... with an all-natural tan... hehehe...

honestly until now my sister and i cant stop laughing about her. She maybe thinking she is better than everyone

I dont get angry but instead i pity her as she is a lonely person.

and insane...imagine calling me a monkey

no time to get upset over it as i have more things to do. anyway whatever names she calls me, its not important.

[Pepe n Pilar]

honestly until now my sister and i cant stop laughing about her. She maybe thinking she is better than everyone

I dont get angry but instead i pity her as she is a lonely person.

and insane...imagine calling me a monkey

no time to get upset over it as i have more things to do. anyway whatever names she calls me, its not important.

Hi Charlene,

Ignore them. As if they're not existing!....That is the best way to do. If people are annoying don't give them your attention.... totally ignore..

[Florge]

honestly until now my sister and i cant stop laughing about her. She maybe thinking she is better than everyone

I dont get angry but instead i pity her as she is a lonely person.

and insane...imagine calling me a monkey

no time to get upset over it as i have more things to do. anyway whatever names she calls me, its not important.

you go girl!!

[belfast_dude]

I was paranoid early today as I thought I will be turned over to my new home BJMP. Then my phone rang at about 5 in the early morning, answered it and somebody was shouting, insulting and even very arrogant to me at the other line. Did not even said hello...

I did not even had a chance to say hello. As soon as I answered this was what is said to me: " You idiot brown monkey, leave my family alone! We never and will never allow you here as your race has no space in here. You belong to your ugly stupid country! You pinays only know how to make babies and squeeze money out of us! We dont care about your half blooded brown children!"blah blah blah

I dont know how and what to say after this phone call.

To give you idea on who is this person well let me start with this. Kevin and I were been together for more than five years now. Never been in the UK to meet his family nor spoke to them really. Kevin did not introduced me to his family as I never asked to. Besides, all that important to me is him. Through the years...i learned that Kevin and his family are not that close nor like each other. Never again asked why or how come. All is important for me is Kevin is with me and my family accepted him regardless of what he is.

Let us say he is not a typical white guy... He is not stable, nor had saved and worked in the UK. Compare to me, which when I met him I was already established my life, career and save some for the future. At first, my family cannot understand this but then they learned to accept him as he is a good man in deed. He had showed his love to my children, worked hard and loved me unconditionaly.

15 May happened, things get to be done no matter how I choose not to. Embassy contacted his family in the UK to inform about Kevin's misfortune and have asked if they can help him in anyway. Got few text from his dad which was in fairness civil to me and I can say a good person. He apologised as they have no means on helping me as both of them are old and no money for Kevin to be sent. Fair enough, I resorted all with my family. I contacted the newspaper to help me release a story about Kevin's ordeal.

Next day after the story was released got many emails from Kevin's sister Karen. Very angry have told me to leave his parents alone and I must not seek any help from the UK as Kevin has nothing to get. I did hold my temper for a while since I lost it a month ago. I was attacked publicly by his two evil sisters...commenting on the local news online about Kevins'. No support but instead condeming him of what had happened to him here. Puzzled but never asked Kevin what is wrong with his sister nor have asked if anything back in the UK I must know.

Since then, Kevin instructed FCO-UK to block any information to his family there as I am being targeted by two evil witches.

My father even got very angry over this as since I met Kevin it was me who supported him financially. I have used all the money I got from my mum's inheritance but most people taught all was from Kevin. But that was alright with me as I believed what I have is as well for Kevin. Only last month my father and my sister started getting angry to Kevin's family over their comments on line and insults. They were claiming that I was asking money to them when in fact ever since they never gave a penny at all. But how can I defend myself? But to speak to FCO-Manila over this harassments from the two devils.

And again, I got phone call from her. Everytime she sees the paper featured Kevin and people are helping us...she got mad! Dont know why, as they have never helped me at all and even the embassy knows the picture. They do not even want to speak to them at all as they tend to pretend that they are helping but to be honest makes it more difficult for Kevin.

What must I do to stop this? Will I call her back and tell her to shut her fat mouth or I will let her swallow her phone? Or email her about hey you yes im a monkey and your a beast! Or yes, my country is poor but we always protect our citizens whenever they are troubled abroad. We even provide financial assistance to their families inspite that WE ARE A POOR COUNTRY. Or would I just say...Ok I will contact AL QUEEDA and ask to bomb your house and rest in peace...

i have two ideas.....
1.when they call put the phone down and let them talk to the table...they will spend money and eventually get bored and not call again
2. answer the phone and laugh at everything they say,,,,,,every word they say...laugh laugh and laugh again...that will really annoy them and they will stop calling


power to the peaceful....

[britishdetained]

i have two ideas.....
1.when they call put the phone down and let them talk to the table...they will spend money and eventually get bored and not call again
2. answer the phone and laugh at everything they say,,,,,,every word they say...laugh laugh and laugh again...that will really annoy them and they will stop calling


power to the peaceful....

thanks for the advice...actually im really waiting for her call again so i can get back on her

[MarBell379]

Ignore them. If they start making incorect statements to the press or anything like that, then address it IMMEDIATELY, but there is no point in loweing yourself to their level and getting antagonistic. If you don't need them, ignore them - the whole thing will become easier.
Sometimes, there IS no understanding, only acceptance.

[somebody]

me too also sometimes people think im japanese, indonesian blah blah blah

Well nothing beats the Phills calling me a yank or French Swedish i didn't mind but the other two

Still could be worse they might think im from the north or welsh

If its your inlaws is this a one off outburst or the norm. Although the actual words are extremely harsh could it be they due to the stress and worry blame you and the phillipines for your Husbands current situation.

Very tough on you but maybe like others say ignoring and devote your time as you are to much more important issues.

[britishdetained]

Well nothing beats the Phills calling me a yank or French Swedish i didn't mind but the other two

Still could be worse they might think im from the north or welsh

If its your inlaws is this a one off outburst or the norm. Although the actual words are extremely harsh could it be they due to the stress and worry blame you and the phillipines for your Husbands current situation.

Very tough on you but maybe like others say ignoring and devote your time as you are to much more important issues.

thanks for all your advises...today i got an email from her apologising

Its because since she phoned me i block all the details of Kevin and the case so they wont call me anymore.atleast now they realised that if they keep doing nasty things to me they cant get anything about Kevin and his situation. They must be lucky coz i love Kevin alot and inspite of all this happening to us I never asked them for anything. Maybe they realised that what ever happens Kevin will still know who am i

[Sophie]

thanks for all your advises...today i got an email from her apologising

Its because since she phoned me i block all the details of Kevin and the case so they wont call me anymore.atleast now they realised that if they keep doing nasty things to me they cant get anything about Kevin and his situation. They must be lucky coz i love Kevin alot and inspite of all this happening to us I never asked them for anything. Maybe they realised that what ever happens Kevin will still know who am i

That's good charlene, atleast she came to her senses and realize how unreasonable and out of line she was,
with all her nasty words against you and your family before.....
I'm glad she finally decided to come around

[somebody]

thanks for all your advises...today i got an email from her apologising

Its because since she phoned me i block all the details of Kevin and the case so they wont call me anymore.atleast now they realised that if they keep doing nasty things to me they cant get anything about Kevin and his situation. They must be lucky coz i love Kevin alot and inspite of all this happening to us I never asked them for anything. Maybe they realised that what ever happens Kevin will still know who am i

I have been away from the site and with so many posts on the forum its impossible to catch up with everything. So may have missed posts which explain more of the story, so please forgive me if i dive in the wrong end

But doing the old looking at it from the other point of view.

Their son who although they may be estranged from your hubby, he is still their flesh and blood. I know of many Brits who have what to phills sound very strange relationships with the children not speaking to the parents or brothers and sisters who rarely do not for any particular reason.
I can off the top of my head count in double figures.
I can think of life long friends who have bloted out their parents from their lifes and having known both sides very closely since we were very young can see no reason for it. I seriously have yet to come across of any phills who do it.
I can think of other brits who hardly speak to siblings and again no reason. Maybe the shrinks on here know the reasons for.

When i do hear the reasons given its for what sound very trivial and often its appears to be a lack of communication. A lot of Brits are very reserved and feelings and talking about sensitive issues are avoided even with those very close to them and brushed under the carpet.

Also many familys in the uk are either so distant and/or small that if there is an argument there is often no one there to mediate of course in a typical phill family...

Your Hubbys family

All they know is this voice on the phone address in an email contact list, photo in an album.

It seems there has been no dialogue between you and his family which in five years seems odd and I could see (rightly or wrongly) how they could feel you have led there little baby son astray.

Have you spoken to any other members of the family or friends of his from the UK? To get their view point?

Im just wondering what the average pinay mum might say if an estranged child (who they still love or have feelings for) ended up in the UK married a guy they had never met and not had much if any dialogue with then suddenly they hear there beloved child who has seemed to cut them out of their life is in trouble and they are powerless to help.

When a person in the UK joins a cult or a family member marries or starts an affair with a person then the loved one ends up in trouble of course they blame the non family member or the cult. Same in phill i bet

Im not excusing someone ranting on the phone to you and what was said but its of course always a good step i find to understand an argument from all angles.

Maybe this could be the perfect time to show you are a decent human being saying look in the past five years we have not got to know one another but lets start afresh and pull together for the man we both love? Let them know the words offended you but your prepared to forget what happened its a stressful time and at the moment we need to pull together to help my husband /your son.

[britishdetained]

That's good charlene, atleast she came to her senses and realize how unreasonable and out of line she was,
with all her nasty words against you and your family before.....
I'm glad she finally decided to come around

yeah im thankful that she has learned to be humble and to say sorry.

[MarBell379]

I can think of life long friends who have bloted out their parents from their lifes and having known both sides very closely since we were very young can see no reason for it. I seriously have yet to come across of any phills who do it.

Brits are not alone in this. I know of at least one in Philippines that has effectively erased a parent.

[britishdetained]

Brits are not alone in this. I know of at least one in Philippines that has effectively erased a parent.

Actually kevs parents are ok, i speak with his dad often now...only his sister is the nasty one . but i hope as she emailed me she will be fair with her comments to me and she would take things properly without being racist or anything. I told her what ever misunderstanding she have with kev should be set aside for a while as what is important now is both families would help for kevins release or even for a fair trial

[Northerner]

Maybe I am just a little bit bitchy at times, but if I find myself in this situation. I will tell my family how I will be having as many mixed race children as nature will allow Just to freak them out

Nothing upsets racists more than knowing that people of the other race are multiplying

[Ayjay]

I was paranoid early today as I thought I will be turned over to my new home BJMP. Then my phone rang at about 5 in the early morning, answered it and somebody was shouting, insulting and even very arrogant to me at the other line. Did not even said hello...

I did not even had a chance to say hello. As soon as I answered this was what is said to me: " You idiot brown monkey, leave my family alone! We never and will never allow you here as your race has no space in here. You belong to your ugly stupid country! You pinays only know how to make babies and squeeze money out of us! We dont care about your half blooded brown children!"blah blah blah

I dont know how and what to say after this phone call.

To give you idea on who is this person well let me start with this. Kevin and I were been together for more than five years now. Never been in the UK to meet his family nor spoke to them really. Kevin did not introduced me to his family as I never asked to. Besides, all that important to me is him. Through the years...i learned that Kevin and his family are not that close nor like each other. Never again asked why or how come. All is important for me is Kevin is with me and my family accepted him regardless of what he is.

Let us say he is not a typical white guy... He is not stable, nor had saved and worked in the UK. Compare to me, which when I met him I was already established my life, career and save some for the future. At first, my family cannot understand this but then they learned to accept him as he is a good man in deed. He had showed his love to my children, worked hard and loved me unconditionaly.

15 May happened, things get to be done no matter how I choose not to. Embassy contacted his family in the UK to inform about Kevin's misfortune and have asked if they can help him in anyway. Got few text from his dad which was in fairness civil to me and I can say a good person. He apologised as they have no means on helping me as both of them are old and no money for Kevin to be sent. Fair enough, I resorted all with my family. I contacted the newspaper to help me release a story about Kevin's ordeal.

Next day after the story was released got many emails from Kevin's sister Karen. Very angry have told me to leave his parents alone and I must not seek any help from the UK as Kevin has nothing to get. I did hold my temper for a while since I lost it a month ago. I was attacked publicly by his two evil sisters...commenting on the local news online about Kevins'. No support but instead condeming him of what had happened to him here. Puzzled but never asked Kevin what is wrong with his sister nor have asked if anything back in the UK I must know.

Since then, Kevin instructed FCO-UK to block any information to his family there as I am being targeted by two evil witches.

My father even got very angry over this as since I met Kevin it was me who supported him financially. I have used all the money I got from my mum's inheritance but most people taught all was from Kevin. But that was alright with me as I believed what I have is as well for Kevin. Only last month my father and my sister started getting angry to Kevin's family over their comments on line and insults. They were claiming that I was asking money to them when in fact ever since they never gave a penny at all. But how can I defend myself? But to speak to FCO-Manila over this harassments from the two devils.

And again, I got phone call from her. Everytime she sees the paper featured Kevin and people are helping us...she got mad! Dont know why, as they have never helped me at all and even the embassy knows the picture. They do not even want to speak to them at all as they tend to pretend that they are helping but to be honest makes it more difficult for Kevin.

What must I do to stop this? Will I call her back and tell her to shut her fat mouth or I will let her swallow her phone? Or email her about hey you yes im a monkey and your a beast! Or yes, my country is poor but we always protect our citizens whenever they are troubled abroad. We even provide financial assistance to their families inspite that WE ARE A POOR COUNTRY. Or would I just say...Ok I will contact AL QUEEDA and ask to bomb your house and rest in peace...

Bit of a sad story here, it looks like you are having to bear the burden of your husbands misfortunes, and deal with his inlaws attitude...

Generally speaking UK families are not as close as family groups in the Philippines, so no issue there.

Concerning the abusive phone calls, keep in mind that they are paying for the call, so just string them along... maximise their expense... they will soon get tired of it...

AJ

[gWaPito]

Absolutely Joe. Let's dig up the wonderful Bernard Manning!!

Al.

The best thing to come out of Manchester, along wd the A56

[proud2bepinay]

At least we do not need fake tan or go the salon for a sun bed just to get out brown skin hehehe. Kidding aside its best to keep quiet and do all you can to support your hubby it isn't easy but its worth rather than retaliating and be like those people you see in Jeremy Kyle show who most of the time are bunch ignorant and proud of their misdeeds.

[gWaPito]

Absolutely Joe. Let's dig up the wonderful Bernard Manning!!

Al.

I still say he's the best thing to come out of Manchester along wd the 56 and M6

[Northerner]

I still say he's the best thing to come out of Manchester along wd the 56 and M6

There are worse places than Manchester! I can quickly think of Beirut, Basra, Cape Town....

[gWaPito]

There are worse places than Manchester! I can quickly think of Beirut, Basra, Cape Town....

Ganuuuuuuuuuuuuun

[lizaphil]

Next time she calls just say "Can't talk now I'm busy eating a banana in a tree" .......and hang up

LOL good

[lizaphil]

honestly until now my sister and i cant stop laughing about her. She maybe thinking she is better than everyone

I dont get angry but instead i pity her as she is a lonely person.

and insane...imagine calling me a monkey

no time to get upset over it as i have more things to do. anyway whatever names she calls me, its not important.

magine calling you a monkey
lol your inlaw's so funny