am i being played? :(

[jam07]

He might have another

oh no!

[Tawi2]

I am just being realistic,would you rather I said he is incommunicado through no fault of his own?Or would you rather have realism?When I was checking my mail in Pinas in internet cafes I foten saw pinays with several windows open on their screens chatting to multiplicities of guys telling each he was the one etc,etc,etc collect and select right?Guys do it as well some of them its an ego boost,some of them are just looking for that special one so chat to several ladies at once.

[Tawi2]

I think you already have a gut-feeling,female intuition etc anyway because of your title "Am I being played"

[Sophie]

Hi Mrs. Daddy but the funny thing is, we never had a fight before this happend and there are no signs that he will leave just like that... it is really not fair :(

Hi jam, sorry for what you're going through......
Anyway, are you 100% sure there are no signs or anything different before he stopped communicating with you?
Sometimes we only see what we want to see.....
As you know, not all signs are bad like fights, tampo and all sorts....
sometimes its the other way around...... when he is extra nice than usual,
that can also be a sign....he is actually preparing for a good exit...
then he will just vanished...but that's just my opinion

[Tawi2]

Its true,a dose of realism,we could sugar it up and say oh no,he must be very busy,he hasnt a mode or means of communication,he loves you,your the one etc,etc,etc or we can be realistic adults,and say from an outsiders perspective looks like he has jumped ship Missing in action

[Tawi2]

Can I just add if ever I get dumped please dont be so honest or brutal,say nice things just so I can cling to a vestige of hope

[Pepe n Pilar]

I have heard a story related to that. A filipina was in relationship with a foreigner for 8 months. They have met online and did chatting, sending emails and calls as well. She said he calls her every weekend and chats and emails each other during the week. Sometimes when he calls he even talked to her aunt, sister and cousin for she was staying with her relatives. Then after 4 mos of communication he planned to visit her in the Phils. On the 8th month of the relationship which is the due time he will be travelling to visit her she received a call from her fiance's son. His son told her that his Dad had died due to heart failure. That was the end of the story.
She said she doesn't know if it's the truth or not.
In your case Jam07 you may wait for at least 2 wks and see if he will contact you. Let your instinct work. I just hope for the best.

I agree with Sophie's last 2 lines:

It can also be a sign he is actually preparing a good exit...
then he will just vanish..

Cheers!

[jam07]

Hi jam, sorry for what you're going through......
Anyway, are you 100% sure there are no signs or anything different before he stopped communicating with you?
Sometimes we only see what we want to see.....
As you know, not all signs are bad like fights, tampo and all sorts....
sometimes its the other way around...... when he is extra nice than usual,
that can also be a sign....he is actually preparing a good exit...
then he will just vanished...but that's just my opinion

Hi Sophie. I dont know what to think anymore its just that this is hurting me too much :( ... i will give him a call tomorrow and will see if he will answer the call. If he drop the call on me, then its time to move on I guess...

[Tawi2]

Thats the problem with LDR's,easier to break off than up close and personals,just delete the number and never call again,theres a lot of sad stories on both sides,not just pinays but putis also

[Sophie]

Personally, 2 weeks is a bit long for him not to contact you even if his pc is not working......
he could atleast text you or call you..........
And also, do not bombard him with emails and text messages....you don't want to come accross as a bit desperate...
There's always a way he can contact you if he really wants to....
Besides, it will be hard finding a person who doesn't want to be found....
it's just like waking a person up who is not really asleep but only pretending to be asleep....
I suggest you let him be and do not obsess about it and do not wallow in misery about this guy.....
just live your life and have fun with what you have now and keep your self busy......
bond with your family and your friends, focus on your job and keep your mind occupied....
If one day he suddenly re-appeared, listen to what he has to say and his reasons for being gone without keeping in touch.....
Then that's when you decide if his reasons are valid or not....

[Pepe n Pilar]

Yeah two weeks is really a long time to wait. If a person really wants to stay in touch there's a moblie phone, a public phone or borrow a friend's phone. Or he can go to a library where there is an internet cafe..
If the pc is not working then i guess the maximum time to have it sorted out is 1-2 weeks? (it depends)..

Even if you don't call him, he will do anything to communicate with you if he really wants to...

If there's a will, there's a way...

[Tawi2]

The guys a civil engineer,most probably he has a laptop and desk-top and works in an environment where there are desktops in abundance thats the truth of the matter

[Tawi2]

Besides,we live in an age of miracles,he can send a simple e-mail from his cell-phone

[Sophie]

Hi Sophie. I dont know what to think anymore its just that this is hurting me too much :( ... i will give him a call tomorrow and will see if he will answer the call. If he drop the call on me, then its time to move on I guess...

Hi jam, if that will give you some peace of mind and maybe some answers, then go ahead and ring him tomorrow.....and see what will happen.....
If it's bad, then move on with your life.....you deserve better...







(by the way, when you were chatting before, how often do you chat or talk to each other?)

[Pepe n Pilar]

Since when was the last time you talk to each other?or received an email from him?

[Sophie]

The guys a civil engineer,most probably he has a laptop and desk-top and works in an environment where there are desktops in abundance thats the truth of the matter

True.............

[Tawi2]

Best ready yourself

[jam07]

Personally, 2 weeks is a bit long for him not to contact you even if his pc is not working......
he could atleast text you or call you..........
And also, do not bombard him with emails and text messages....you don't want to come accross as a bit desperate...
There's always a way he can contact you if he really wants to....
Besides, it will be hard finding a person who doesn't want to be found....
it's just like waking a person up who is not really asleep but only pretending to be asleep....
I suggest you let him be and do not obsess about it and do not wallow in misery about this guy.....
just live your life and have fun with what you have now and keep your self busy......
bond with your family and your friends, focus on your job and keep your mind occupied....
If one day he suddenly re-appeared, listen to what he has to say and his reasons for being gone without keeping in touch.....
Then that's when you decide if his reasons are valid or not....

the last time I emailed and text him is last Monday 6/22. But a week before that, I send offline messages for him just to let him know that I am still here. The reason I did that is because he told me to give him a week to get a new pc. So when he get back online the next week, he will see my offline messages and know that I am still here. The only reason why I email him is because I want him to tell me straight away if he doesnt want me anymore so i will not endure the agony of waiting for him. I also dont like to look like a fool waiting for no one. I dont want to waste my time waiting. If he doesnt want me, I'll immediately let go and move on. Moving on is not an easy task, but I know I can do it. There will be no pulling of sleeves. Ma-pride din ako. I dont want to beg. All I wanted for him to do, is to tell it to my face. I would rather have that than being like this.... I know I can get through this but for now, its really hurting me because I did love him...

[Sophie]

Best ready yourself

Yeah.......
hope for the best, expect for the worst.........

[Ji&Ma]

Hi Jam - I don't mean to be scarecrow, but is there any possibility that something is actually wrong with him - accident, illness or something???
Do you have any other means of contact? Not directly with him but to his family or friends?
If you do, it might be worth to try to phone them/e-mail them and ask if they know his whereabouts or if there is actually something wrong there.
Otherwise it is very weird he would drop you like an piece of rubbish. No one deserves to be treated this way and I would say honesty is always the best way how to treat others. Even if it hurts - because the pain will go away through the time but in shorter time than when left with uncertainty and broken heart...
Wish you good luck...

[jam07]

Best ready yourself

I am starting to...

[Sophie]

the last time I emailed and text him is last Monday 6/22. But a week before that, I send offline messages for him just to let him know that I am still here. The reason I did that is because he told me to give him a week to get a new pc. So when he get back online the next week, he will see my offline messages and know that I am still here. The only reason why I email him is because I want him to tell me straight away if he doesnt want me anymore so i will not endure the agony of waiting for him. I also dont like to look like a fool waiting for no one. I dont want to waste my time waiting. If he doesnt want me, I'll immediately let go and move on. Moving on is not an easy task, but I know I can do it. There will be no pulling of sleeves. Ma-pride din ako. I dont want to beg. All I wanted for him to do, is to tell it to my face. I would rather have that than being like this.... I know I can get through this but for now, its really hurting me because I did love him...

Exactly jam.....i know you just need some concrete answers and not be left in the dark wondering.....
I hope you'll find some answers when you ring him tomorrow....
If it's good, then i'm happy for you.......
If it's bad, i'm sure you can handle it,
i take it you're a brave and confident woman.....
I'm sure you will do fine in case this one don't work out....

[Tawi2]

Reality is always a bitter pill to swallow but sweetens with the passage of time

[charlwill]

Hi Jam, what a heartbreaking situation you're in right now. I really sympathize with you. You're situation happened to my friend. Geez, it's driving my friend's crazy. The man lost contact with her, for at least 2 months. No emails, no phone calls, no txt. They don't have communication. My friend really depressed with what happened. Well, anyways, to make the story short. The man was in contact again with her after a length of time. She found out that the man was hospitalized. He explained every thing to my friend and he have photos to support his explanation. So, maybe in you case, your bf had a reason why he just suddenly lost contact with you.

[jam07]

(by the way, when you were chatting before, how often do you chat or talk to each other?)

we talk everyday... around 4am (thats the time he gets up, sometimes 3am) and at night around 8,9 and 10... usually he talks to me till he needs to go to shower and then again when he's at the office already and then we say our goodbyes when he needs to go round the site already. Sometimes, he message me while he's still at work (as I am online almost 24 hours). At night, when he got home and say our goodbyes when he will eat his dinner and if he is tired and needing to go to bed already. Just not lately because he told me that his pc is f*cked up... thats it.

[Tawi2]

Easy,Jam give one of your friends in the UK his number,get them to prefix the number with 141 when they dial it,when its answered ask for the gentleman by name,if he says "Speaking" they replace the handset and at least you know he isnt hooked up to a life-support lingering twixt heaven and earth in limbo.

[Tawi2]

Site office always has a PC jam

[maria_and_matt]

Site office always has a PC jam

and hospitals allows mobile phones now when i was in there 3 months ago i was txting away in the ward.. and they also have internet

[charlwill]

Easy,Jam give one of your friends in the UK his number,get them to prefix the number with 141 when they dial it,when its answered ask for the gentleman by name,if he says "Speaking" they replace the handset and at least you know he isnt hooked up to a life-support lingering twixt heaven and earth in limbo.

I agree wth tawi2, if you know somebody here in the UK give his number and they can call him for you.

[Sophie]

Easy,Jam give one of your friends in the UK his number,get them to prefix the number with 141 when they dial it,when its answered ask for the gentleman by name,if he says "Speaking" they replace the handset and at least you know he isnt hooked up to a life-support lingering twixt heaven and earth in limbo.

Or better yet, give your bf's number to tawi2 as he also does private investigation on the side