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  1. #1
    Member lost_bulak's Avatar
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    monster-in-law...

    ...i mean mother-in-law. How is your relationship with your mother-in-law? My mother-in-law is getting on my nerves into the highest level! It's not that we argue all the time because I try to control my temper as possible as I can. As some of you know, I had my first baby 6 weeks ago and my mother-in-law acts as if she owns my baby. In her eyes everything I do is wrong and everything she does/says is right. I have my own ways of bringing up my child, not the way she wants it. Like for example, when my baby was 4 weeks old she was insisting (actually up to this day) that I should try putting rusks in his bottle so he would sleep longer at night-as if she was the one waking up in the middle of the night feeding my baby. i wouldn't risk my baby just for an extra hours of sleep so i said to her he's too young.

    Plus one day when we went round to her place and she was eating ginger biscuit she almost put it into my baby's mouth-good thing i stopped her. She was saying that i should introduce my baby to different tastes as early as possible so he wouldn't be picky when he grows up. AAaaaahhhh!!! See what I am putting up with? Sorry guys if i am moaning, i have to get these out of my chest or else i would explode ! I can still go on and on but I have to stop now or else you'll get bored.


  2. #2
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    hehehe I feel for you some of my friends suffer same problem that`s why they try to find their own haus
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


  3. #3
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    not usual to hear rant from mother in law from any members here in the forum, yeah in Philippines its very common, My mom in law so far , we are in good terms and she is sweet


  4. #4
    Member lost_bulak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    not usual to hear rant from mother in law from any members here in the forum, yeah in Philippines its very common, My mom in law so far , we are in good terms and she is sweet
    This one i am telling you is different, she is the know-it-all kinda person and doesn't accept opinions/ideas from others.


  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost_bulak View Post
    ...i mean mother-in-law. How is your relationship with your mother-in-law? My mother-in-law is getting on my nerves into the highest level! It's not that we argue all the time because I try to control my temper as possible as I can. As some of you know, I had my first baby 6 weeks ago and my mother-in-law acts as if she owns my baby. In her eyes everything I do is wrong and everything she does/says is right. I have my own ways of bringing up my child, not the way she wants it. Like for example, when my baby was 4 weeks old she was insisting (actually up to this day) that I should try putting rusks in his bottle so he would sleep longer at night-as if she was the one waking up in the middle of the night feeding my baby. i wouldn't risk my baby just for an extra hours of sleep so i said to her he's too young.

    Plus one day when we went round to her place and she was eating ginger biscuit she almost put it into my baby's mouth-good thing i stopped her. She was saying that i should introduce my baby to different tastes as early as possible so he wouldn't be picky when he grows up. AAaaaahhhh!!! See what I am putting up with? Sorry guys if i am moaning, i have to get these out of my chest or else i would explode ! I can still go on and on but I have to stop now or else you'll get bored.
    Well, i've been here for 2 months and so far i can say, my mother in law is the best She's really nice and supportive, very much motherly. But i guess unlike you, we still have nothing to disagree about since there's still no baby around, lol. And i can understand how you must be feeling and that there are certain things you want done for your baby your way. On the otherhand, maybe your mother in law was just too excited and ecstatic about having a new grandchild so she sometimes forget she's meddling too much with your baby. Try harder to get along with your mother in law and be more patient and let her enjoy her grandchild but at thesame time, you have to set limits on how far she can meddle and you can tell her nicely about how you want to raise your baby and that you are open for any of her suggestions but ultimately, its your decision in the end. After all, you're the mother, so it's definitely your call
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  6. #6
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Oh that's tough!
    Definitely do not leave your child with her, not just yet... hehe... Wait til he is weaning...

    Tell your husband about it, she rather is acting weird...


  7. #7
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost_bulak View Post
    ...i mean mother-in-law. How is your relationship with your mother-in-law? My mother-in-law is getting on my nerves into the highest level! It's not that we argue all the time because I try to control my temper as possible as I can. As some of you know, I had my first baby 6 weeks ago and my mother-in-law acts as if she owns my baby. In her eyes everything I do is wrong and everything she does/says is right. I have my own ways of bringing up my child, not the way she wants it. Like for example, when my baby was 4 weeks old she was insisting (actually up to this day) that I should try putting rusks in his bottle so he would sleep longer at night-as if she was the one waking up in the middle of the night feeding my baby. i wouldn't risk my baby just for an extra hours of sleep so i said to her he's too young.

    Plus one day when we went round to her place and she was eating ginger biscuit she almost put it into my baby's mouth-good thing i stopped her. She was saying that i should introduce my baby to different tastes as early as possible so he wouldn't be picky when he grows up. AAaaaahhhh!!! See what I am putting up with? Sorry guys if i am moaning, i have to get these out of my chest or else i would explode ! I can still go on and on but I have to stop now or else you'll get bored.
    i am sorry to say but she is actually right,, my son was not sleeping for more that a couple of hours when he was 4-5 weeks old, a friend of mine suggested rusks, i was hesitant at first but hey it worked.

    i think that instead of getting annoyed with her look upon her as your own mother who only wants to help. i know she does not mean any harm, but at the end of the day it is you baby and you should do what you feel comfortable with. goodluck!
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  8. #8
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    It will be too hard for you to be with in-laws if there's already baby for sure as they have different ways on bringing up kids. Do not be shy to tell her what's inside of you, your feeling. They are open minded. Just be polite and tell your hubby about this. If you can't handle anymore, tell your hubby to find a place for you.

    I'll be 3 years living with them and so far, I can get on with them. If there's problem between them, I sit beside her and talk with her, I am never shy to tell her I'm upset or something and one time she cried and asked for apology. So I did cry too as I hate to see elderlies crying. Since then I didn't make her cry anymore. Hubby always tells his Mom to treat me like her own daughter and so do I.

    Hubby always away and Mom is my best friend at home. She buys everything I need and told her I really feel shy making me spoiled. When I went home last year, she gave me 250£ pocket money. In return, I just buy something for her everytime I go out for shopping.


  9. #9
    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    Oh dear

    Discuss the issues with your husband. Aye, Your baby is too young for that.
    I started giving my wee boy food ( baby rice ) when he was 4 months old but only during breakfast still breastfeeding him. Biscuits chocolates rusks etc is a NO NO NO for me at that age too

    My friends babies same age as my wee boy had eaten those foods when they were young and me and my husbands were so shocked to watched them feeding them esp chocolates

    Lucky for me my in laws just let me do what we want for our wee boy. They are very supportive esp my dad in law
    LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL


  10. #10
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    Lucky me I have a great mother-in-law. She's the best as I may say, just like my mother.
    When I gave birth my older son stayed with her for 3 days. She treats him as her real grandson. She's very supportive.
    My husband's family been great with me and my older son. I'm really very thankful for that


  11. #11
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    i think the problem is here a difference in culture in raising a baby?

    with my wife we both have different views on raising a baby and i know we will only argue unless we do it my wifes way?

    in the uk we will have a different way to raising a baby than in the philipines,so try to adapt and understand there will be a difference in the uk and the phils?

    and tell your hubby how you feel,if your mother in law is so over bearing your hubby will already know this.A good hubby will support you and tell his mother how you are feeling?

    try not to be so sensitive and jumpy when your mom inlaw is around she maybe just trying to help? why not try to discuss with her the difference in raising your baby!
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  12. #12
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    It is indeed a challenging one. My mother wants to be helpful but has a very strong personality and always tells me what to do and we nearly always disagree, so I don't leave her alone with Pia.
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  13. #13
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Piamed View Post
    It is indeed a challenging one. My mother wants to be helpful but has a very strong personality and always tells me what to do and we nearly always disagree, so I don't leave her alone with Pia.
    saves you get moaned at by the wife too?
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  14. #14
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    My friend keith wanted to kill his pinay mother-in-law His wife gave birth in Pinas,private hospital,I cant remember the exact bill,30,000 pesos I think?He visited his wife and son,and told the hospital his mum-in-law would be in later tp pay the cash,he gave her the money,she wasnt seen for 3 or 4 days,totally vanished,when she did turn up she had been to a Mahjong game,lost the lot,and was too shameful to return home I would rather have an interfering busybody than someone who gambles away her grandchilds hospital bill


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    My friend keith wanted to kill his pinay mother-in-law His wife gave birth in Pinas,private hospital,I cant remember the exact bill,30,000 pesos I think?He visited his wife and son,and told the hospital his mum-in-law would be in later tp pay the cash,he gave her the money,she wasnt seen for 3 or 4 days,totally vanished,when she did turn up she had been to a Mahjong game,lost the lot,and was too shameful to return home I would rather have an interfering busybody than someone who gambles away her grandchilds hospital bill
    totally couldn't agree more That woman doesn't deserve to be a grandmom for doing that.
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  16. #16
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    i dont actualy have a monster in law BUT MY FIANCE HAS THIS WOMEN WE CALL THE F&CKING OLD WITCH and we never see her


  17. #17
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    Sounds like you all have to sit down and calmly try to find a solution.
    If this is not possible, life will be easier in your own place.


  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    My friend keith wanted to kill his pinay mother-in-law His wife gave birth in Pinas,private hospital,I cant remember the exact bill,30,000 pesos I think?He visited his wife and son,and told the hospital his mum-in-law would be in later tp pay the cash,he gave her the money,she wasnt seen for 3 or 4 days,totally vanished,when she did turn up she had been to a Mahjong game,lost the lot,and was too shameful to return home I would rather have an interfering busybody than someone who gambles away her grandchilds hospital bill
    He's got a point there!


  19. #19
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Keiths in-laws were a family of multitudinous problems,probably one of the reasons he split with his wife and is now living in Scotland with a scottish lady


  20. #20
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    Well it`s not good to have a mum-in-law like that.
    We were told to breast feed for as long as possible and that formula fed babies slept for longer cos their bodies cant digest it so well.
    6 months is the age to introduce solids and i`m not sure whether a babies body is ready for anything other than milk until then.


  21. #21
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    My Mother inlaw is so fat she 'causes a solar eclipse when she goes outside! (JOKE!)

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  22. #22
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adam&chryss View Post
    Well it`s not good to have a mum-in-law like that.
    We were told to breast feed for as long as possible and that formula fed babies slept for longer cos their bodies cant digest it so well.
    6 months is the age to introduce solids and i`m not sure whether a babies body is ready for anything other than milk until then
    .


  23. #23
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    She took up skipping and it showed up on the rictor scale!


    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  24. #24
    Respected Member JudyHon's Avatar
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    I think the best thing to do is to discuss it with your husband. If you speak to her directly about your disagreements it will cause serious problems. He is her son, so she is more likely to accept what he says. Try to stay calm. He should support you.

    I am very lucky to have a wonderful mother in law. She is nice like my mum, and it helps me not to get homesick because i am close to my mum and my mother-in-law treats me like her daughter

    hope you solve this problem. Good luck!
    S J



  25. #25
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adam&chryss View Post
    Well it`s not good to have a mum-in-law like that.
    We were told to breast feed for as long as possible and that formula fed babies slept for longer cos their bodies cant digest it so well.
    6 months is the age to introduce solids and i`m not sure whether a babies body is ready for anything other than milk until then.
    My son who is now 15 was breastfed till he was 9 months, i became so sore coz he was hungry all the time, my friends suggested rusk at 3 months old, i told her it was a bit early, at 3 and half months i went to my GP and asked about things i could do to make him settle at night, she suggested baby rice and rusks. I started feeding him at 4 months, i just mix the baby rice or the rusk in breast milk. After that he slept the night. At 5 months I was feeding him veg, potatoes and meat that i put in the blender. I think that we do what we think is right for our babies. It didnt do him any harm that I started him early on solids. He is now a healthy boy, doing so well, a straight A student hahaha sorry I just like bragging about that!

    To all you new mums out there, enjoy every moment with your babies, they all grow up so fast
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  26. #26
    Respected Member ANDRES25's Avatar
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    I'm so happy I have no mother -in-law to deal with she had passed away long time ago but I'm so lucky to have a very nice and funny father-in-law.


  27. #27
    Respected Member tiger@tigress's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost_bulak View Post
    ...i mean mother-in-law. How is your relationship with your mother-in-law? My mother-in-law is getting on my nerves into the highest level! It's not that we argue all the time because I try to control my temper as possible as I can. As some of you know, I had my first baby 6 weeks ago and my mother-in-law acts as if she owns my baby. In her eyes everything I do is wrong and everything she does/says is right. I have my own ways of bringing up my child, not the way she wants it. Like for example, when my baby was 4 weeks old she was insisting (actually up to this day) that I should try putting rusks in his bottle so he would sleep longer at night-as if she was the one waking up in the middle of the night feeding my baby. i wouldn't risk my baby just for an extra hours of sleep so i said to her he's too young.
    Plus one day when we went round to her place and she was eating ginger biscuit she almost put it into my baby's mouth-good thing i stopped her. She was saying that i should introduce my baby to different tastes as early as possible so he wouldn't be picky when he grows up. AAaaaahhhh!!! See what I am putting up with? Sorry guys if i am moaning, i have to get these out of my chest or else i would explode ! I can still go on and on but I have to stop now or else you'll get bored.
    I must admit I am very lucky with my Inlaws... they love me and my daughter as thier own. Mum is always on my side and ever ready to defend me against her son ....
    I know how are you feeling a firsttime mother ?(are you) Grandmother always think they know more about us cuz they been there.. And they think thier ways are better than other as far as beeing a mother is concern (and same to you, you think your ways are better than her). Try to control your temper as much as you can and try to mix your ways and her ways to make a better harmony.
    tiger tigress

    ♥♥♥♥Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage♥♥♥♥.


  28. #28
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    "My mother in law, is an angel" says a bloke at the bar.

    "Lucky sod" answers his mate, "Mine is still alive"........


  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by JudyHon View Post

    I am very lucky to have a wonderful mother in law. She is nice like my mum, and it helps me not to get homesick because i am close to my mum and my mother-in-law treats me like her daughter
    Me too but miss my Nanay still


  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiger@tigress View Post
    I must admit I am very lucky with my Inlaws... they love me and my daughter as thier own. Mum is always on my side and ever ready to defend me against her son ....
    I know how are you feeling a firsttime mother ?(are you) Grandmother always think they know more about us cuz they been there.. And they think thier ways are better than other as far as beeing a mother is concern (and same to you, you think your ways are better than her). Try to control your temper as much as you can and try to mix your ways and her ways to make a better harmony.
    so as my mother-in-law


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