I need some advice please - serious situation

[Sophie]

he is 48
its easy to say back off. But he is going to lose everything and be left with nothing. I don't want to back off until this happens and then say "oh I could have told you that would happen" He needs someone to put him straight now, even if only to put it into his head so he would be more cautious.

I agree anna, just give it to him straight. If he won't listen, then its up to him. As long as you did your best to be the good friend that you are now for him.

[worriedanna]

i met him in the supermarket at the weekand and I told him I needed to have a serious chat to him - I told that he was well aware of what I was going to say to him - he told me that yes he knew what I was going to say and that he would call by my house - he assured me that he knew things were not as perfect as they could be and that he has been doing a lot of thinking about stuff . He told me that he would call to me in the next week or so - I will wait and see if he does.

[Mrs Daddy]

hopefully he`ll realize it by then...

[Florge]

and when he visits.... whack him straight to the jaw like how Pacquiao did it... so that his thick steel helmet will fall off his head and he'll realize that he has been scammed all along... hehehehe....

[bornatbirth]

why not find out who she really is and confront her?

say that you will go to the police over fraud and get her deported.

surely all her family or whoever she lives with are in the scam too?

but dont talk to him like a kid! just try to explain to him your concerns about the relationship!

[worriedanna]

believe me born
that is what I want to do. I want to confront her and tell her that we are watching her but if I do that then it will just turn him against us and even if what we say is true, and she leaves him alone, he will blame us.

I think the right thing to do is to get him and tell him - hopefully he knows at the back of his mind that things are not right. I would LOVE to get the two of them to the house and confront her (in a nice way) with him being present and see how she cringes, but that won't happen because "she is too shy, and nervous and afraid of meeting people" to do that.

She tells him when she is free, she tells him when he can text, she tells him she cannot stay overnight or even go away for a night - he is at her beck and call. She is calling the shots.

I only hope he DOES come to my house over the next week, and that he did not just say it to get rid of me. I told him straight out when I say him that things were not right. I did not be nicey nicy about it - I just told him very factually that things were not right - he tended to agree with me then, but we need to get him for at least an hour to talk to him.

[Ji&Ma]

i met him in the supermarket at the weekand and I told him I needed to have a serious chat to him - I told that he was well aware of what I was going to say to him - he told me that yes he knew what I was going to say and that he would call by my house - he assured me that he knew things were not as perfect as they could be and that he has been doing a lot of thinking about stuff . He told me that he would call to me in the next week or so - I will wait and see if he does.

Fingers crossed for you then Maybe - if he's been true and really started thinking - things are going to change for better

[TONY73]

just add some ideas of mine, if u need some proof of evidence if you have time to act as a secret detective and take some pictures of the filipina girl with the family or husband,try to follow the filipina woman after work to find the house, or if they have a date to your friend try to follow her after they met, you can act or disguise face or whatever if you have time, or if you know the home of that woman try to hung out near the home some other day.

[Jay&Zobel]

just add some ideas of mine, if u need some proof of evidence if you have time to act as a secret detective and take some pictures of the filipina girl with the family or husband,try to follow the filipina woman after work to find the house, or if they have a date to your friend try to follow her after they met, you can act or disguise face or whatever if you have time, or if you know the home of that woman try to hung out near the home some other day.

stalking

[worriedanna]

hi guys - me again
okay the update - our friend was supposed to meet us for a night out last weekend - we had it planned for about two weeks - all was great - however on the day he called and said there was a "problem" (he did not elaborate) and he may not be able to meet but he would try - sure enough we were left waiting for him. Next day I called and asked what happened - he said that his "girlfriend" was having a problem and he had to sort it for her - again no elaboration.

we have now made arrangements to meet up again next week - I am not holding my breath tho - we have not actually seen or spoke to him now for weeks and weeks

[Dedworth]

This strikes me as one of those crackpot threads that goes on forever with the OP adding a little twist and turn now and again. I'm amazed folks spend 4 weeks adding to it - self excluded

[Sophie]

hi guys - me again
okay the update - our friend was supposed to meet us for a night out last weekend - we had it planned for about two weeks - all was great - however on the day he called and said there was a "problem" (he did not elaborate) and he may not be able to meet but he would try - sure enough we were left waiting for him. Next day I called and asked what happened - he said that his "girlfriend" was having a problem and he had to sort it for her - again no elaboration.

we have now made arrangements to meet up again next week - I am not holding my breath tho - we have not actually seen or spoke to him now for weeks and weeks

Oh that's too bad anna. Anyway, i hope your plan next week would push through. Goodluck then

[worriedanna]

dedworth, no offence but if that was the case I could think of a ton more forums i could join besides this one.

I am posting because there was a new development and the people on here were good enough to voice their opinions. Would you rather I come on every day and type nonsense when I have nothing to say?

if you don't want to reply or post, then don't but let the others give me their advice and opinion if they want. you DO have a choice to be on here. Its not compulsary.

[SurvivingAngel]

thank you again.
we are going to let him know, at the risk of losing a friendship, which we know will happen. One more question - is it normal for her to have a completely normal conversation with women, but turn into a shy timid afraid person when he is around, and also to change her voice to a very childish one - this is something else that bothers us. But yet he seems to want to protect her more when this happens - the woman is 35. Is this normal.

If she is 35 and baby talking, tell her to stop acting that way, it's not normal. She seems dangerous. If you can find someone to follow her so you know where she lives, much better. Have someone pretend and befriend the family she is living with in the UK, she is hiding something that once revealed will cut all her access to your friend's wallet.

[MarBell379]

Have you thought about sending an anonymous email?
Its easy to set up an account and might be a way of waking him up to some of these pretty obvious signs without ruining your friendship.

[aromulus]

Have you thought about sending an anonymous email?
Its easy to set up an account and might be a way of waking him up to some of these pretty obvious signs without ruining your friendship.

[worriedanna]

he cancelled on us - we didn't get to see him - he made up a lame excuse - I'm on the verge of giving up - I am either going to send him a letter which will be very blunt telling him to wake up that he is being scammed or else just tell him we give up on him and to go ahead and get scammed, but not to come back later and say nobody told him.

[Tawi2]

Best thing to do,get on with your own life and enjoy it,he is a mature adult,let him make his mistakes as long as they dont affect your family life,wash your hands of his relationship,its not your concern,easy,problem solved

[aromulus]

he cancelled on us - we didn't get to see him - he made up a lame excuse - I'm on the verge of giving up - I am either going to send him a letter which will be very blunt telling him to wake up that he is being scammed or else just tell him we give up on him and to go ahead and get scammed, but not to come back later and say nobody told him.

Yup.

Nicely put could go a long way.
No need for niceties there, bluntness and openness are not always appreciated, but he is making his own bed of thorns and he must be warned.

Then wash your hands of him.

[Dedworth]

Looks as if this one is drawing to its close with the predictable nothing happened outcome.

Next similar long running thread eagerly awaited

[Sophie]

he cancelled on us - we didn't get to see him - he made up a lame excuse - i'm on the verge of giving up - i am either going to send him a letter which will be very blunt telling him to wake up that he is being scammed or else just tell him we give up on him and to go ahead and get scammed, but not to come back later and say nobody told him. :nono:

do just that diana and if it still doesn't work, then he is a hopeless case.
Move on and leave him alone, he probably needs to learn the hard way...........

[worriedanna]

i sent the letter - its quite blunt

i told him to read it through and then do what he wanted himself. If anything happens I will let ye know but as of now there is nothing I can do - thanks guys for your help and advice on here . I'll be sure to keep you posted.

[Jonnywina]

what ever happened next?

[Sconnie]

Any News ??

[aromulus]

Any News ??

Guess not.....

[trader dave]

i hate waiting for the next episode

[Dedworth]

i hate waiting for the next episode

Don't fret another would be soap scriptwriter will soon come along and start a new tear jerking series

[bornatbirth]

Don't fret another would be soap scriptwriter will soon come along and start a new tear jerking series

coming from a chelski fan?

[Sconnie]

Still no news, I was hoping we would hear the outcome.

[bystander09]

hello everybody

I am new - I came on here because I need some advice - my brothers friend met a filipino woman (age 35) through his work - it started off as just talking but he soon fell in love with her.

Since then, this woman has told me stories about how she has a very big family but they don't care for her parents - she needed money to purchase medication for a very ill mother - the man provided her with 1000 pounds - however she did not send this directly to her parents - she sent it via a sister because she said her parents would spend the money on other things. So far he has given about 2500 pounds for medication. he feels flattered because she has told this man he has saved her mother.

also, she says that she is living with family members here in the UK and they take all her money from her and just send her to work for money that she has to give up when she gets home. She will not let this man be introduced to her family. The man is completely smitten and has gotten engaged to this woman and begged her if he can meet her family and have an open relationship - she refuses although she accepted the ring. He is now on the verge of putting her name on his business. He has asked can he meet her family in the Philippines but she has refused also. She takes days off to meet him but he must reimburse her with money so she can pretend she was at work.

For me and my friends that know this man, it seems that this relatioinship is based on money - this man has provided thousands of pounds already and has yet to meet any one of her family, or even has yet to be brought to her house.

Is this the normal way that these relationships go or should we be worried for our friend.

apologies if this causes offences to anybody, but we are seriously worried about this man. We do not want to see him hurt or fooled. The woman is 35 years old.

This is a RIP OFF BE CAREFUL....

bystander